Have you guys had success meeting women through clubs, rec sports leagues, etc?

hater58

Space Monkey
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This is often tossed out as generic dating advice..was wondering if any of you have gotten many lays from this type of thing.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
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Indirectly more than directly.. When you are in a social venue with women you are involved with in sports clubs, it is preselection. I've been approached in bars by women outside the group when they see me socializing with my friends from the group.

I've had out of towners who came to work out with us that were interested or made themselves available, and I've hooked up with some women I've trained with.

We have had couples created in the group, and seen people leave the group when a breakup occurred. You can't 'hore around within the group unless that is the group dynamic. Women WILL talk. Many women will be averse to hooking up with the group fuck boy. Some might not care. Some will pee on their property...
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
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This is often tossed out as generic dating advice..was wondering if any of you have gotten many lays from this type of thing.

I think what you meant is that low profile community clubs, social clubs where it is government related,, or some variations of it.

As with everything else, move fast. And be an authority if possible.

We have had couples created in the group, and seen people leave the group when a breakup occurred. You can't 'hore around within the group unless that is the group dynamic. Women WILL talk. Many women will be averse to hooking up with the group fuck boy. Some might not care. Some will pee on their property...

This is important, but yea, be an authority figure and make the place as high value as possible. All this things will become second. The ocean does gets stormy, but if you are an authority (the highest rank as possible), you have more power, absolute power in a sense, to steer the ship to better oceanwaves without offending the ocean.
 

ElderPrice

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In my opinion, there are two answers to this.

Can you meet girls from clubs/leagues/meetups/etc? Yep absolutely.

Is it the best place to start for a noob? Nope. If you're a noob and have a LOT of social skills to work on, you'll need the high volume that nightclubs or busy day time venues can provide. You may also need the volume for other reasons, such as you're not the most attractive guy in the world, and you want to find yourself a particularly high quality woman.

In my experience, clubs/leagues just aren't high enough volume.
 

Richard

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I interpreted clubs as meaning night clubs at first XD

In my experience, yes, you can absolutely meet women through clubs/leagues/social gatherings but I've found it better to play the slow game rather than go direct. I prefer direct day game so the first few times I would go direct but it never panned out all that well because the circumstances are different; in an established club/league women have a social reputation to worry about so going direct is high risk and low reward.

Instead, I've found it best to be the de-facto Alpha of the group; just being the chill guy that gets along with and vibes with everyone and your value will be demonstrated over time which is more than enough to catch girl's interest. I didn't REALLY realize this until I started noticing it at some of my jobs but the slow-burn approach works great in social clubs like you're referring to.
 

Derek da man

Cro-Magnon Man
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Most of my social life is derived from social club envionment within Salsa, Kizomba and Ballroom dancing but the socuail rules also applied when I used to be in several sports clubs. Below is one of my posts from a different thread but has a lot of similaries to your question - the whole post is probaby worth a read too.

I like to think I've got my fundamentals sorted, good hair cut, a bit of style in the way I dress, etc. I had to ask a lady friend to help me with that though because I was pretty awful without her advice. I'm average looking, some girls think I'm good looking, some don't, much the same as we see girls I guess. It did take me a couple of years to realise I sometimes over dress a little which can put you in the "unattainable" category but I'd always say slightly over dress than under dress for a night out.

I started going to Salsa classes, but you could easily replace that with Ceroc or anything similar that provides a good social mix and is a bit cool in your area. The class is basically a bit like "speed dating" without awkward silences, in that you move round to a new lady every minute or 2 so you get to dance with anything from 6 to 30 ladies of all sorts of ages. It does depend where classes are held; if they are in a trendy bar you get a younger crowd, say 18-35, in a church hall you'll get more slightly older, say 25 to 50. It also depends on geography too. The classes I go to are in a trendy bar in the middle of town which has a high student population and high level of "foreign" workers for the hospitality sector, therefore a high proportion are younger and in their 20s, making lives away from close friends and family and are open to dates/meets etc.

Like most guys early on I struggled with approach anxiety but when you start to understand the social dynamics and read the room etc this goes away. It does take practice and commitment to go every week if you want to get better, BUT, at class and the social after there is always a "churn" of new women coming in. It doesn't matter in the slightest if you're any good at dancing as long as you enjoy it and are enthusiastic. This gives me a good opportunity to try stuff out on lots of ladies, not just dance moves but more importantly seduction skills. I can use the same lines or variations and try setting frames etc repeatedly through a class. So lots of practice in a safe environment. After the class it's easy to go and ask one of the girls in class for a dance as you've met them already. After the class, or even during it, you can do a bit of deep diving and set up a date or meeting for another day/time.

One thing I would say, is don't escalate too much at socials, a bit is fine but no more than a light touching (to show confidence/dominance) here or there. Set out your "shop front" as a fun, lightly flirty guy to chat to, always with a welcoming smile and open to dance no matter how good or bad someone is. Once you've set that as your image just take time for a girl to come to you for a chat/dance and THEN set a more specific frame and drop in the conversation " . . that it would be fun to catch up for a drink/coffee and a chat away from the dance scene as you can't get any peace to enjoy her company while you keep changing partners . . . " and you have in effect asked her out leaving her to think about it and accept if she's interested. Some girls accept straight away and you can say we'll swap numbers after class, some won't accept but smile sweetly, be careful here and be a gentleman and accept it leaving the door open (this is often her testing you), most won't accept right off but will come and ask the following week or even later in the evening if I was being serious and you've got her investment straight off so just agree a date or swap numbers.

Remember in these environments social proofing/reputation is important and must be maintained. Girls talk!. I know of several guys that can't get a date, not because they aren't good looking or nice enough, but they've damaged their reputation to a point that girls know these guys have asked every other girl out already and they don't want to be the one at the end of the invitation line. Take time to deep dive, find out about her, establish a connection, set a frame that you trust her and give a bit of your secret side that you don't easily share, see if she will share hers with you, build the connection a little more. This may happen over severals dances in class or even in the social. Don't rush moving to the ask and be selective.

Some weeks I can get a couple phone numbers and rarely do they "flake"; some weeks none at all but that's life. I've got a couple of girls at dance that are FWB and will date pretty much anytime they don't have a date. They trust me to be discrete and not damage their reputations, similarly I trust them. Also I'll help introduce them to guys if they want me to and they will introduce me to girls if I'm interested which gives great social proof.

In addition to the classes there are often weekend socials where you will see some of the girls that go to class so you already have social proof and can go right up and say hello and get introduced to their friends. Their friends may not "dance" but they will be open to having a bit of fun on the dance floor with someone who can. If you then like them you can deep dive, isolate and escalate if the opportunity is there but usually it's better to get her phone number. In these situations it's better to circulate the room and build social proof and dance with a variety of girls and date them separately so they don't feel bound by social constraints.

Sorry for taking post off topic a bit but that's where I am. I could go on but that's really how I've built my social circle although dance has helped me be able to go into a bar or supermarket and engage quiet easily. It's taken a few years to work to this level but I guess I've kinda stacked the deck in my favour in lots of ways. I don't go out simply to "game" women, I do it as part of being sociable. Just very screwed now with the current situation.
 

West_Indian_Archie

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This is often tossed out as generic dating advice..was wondering if any of you have gotten many lays from this type of thing.

MeetUp groups have had to start all-girl versions for different activities because too many creepy guys were showing up to meet girls.


"Pick-up artist crashes Meetup-organized event, fails spectacularly"

I've met girls like this, but again it's slow burn. It's a looser version of social circle, and not for newbs.

WIA
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
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So when it comes to actually approaching women with sexual intent, you gotta do it outside of the club meetup/activity. Think of it as if it was work related. I've seen situations where that approach was not appreciated and you have to calibrate yourself so you don't offend/creep out girls.

Like the realtor who heard a couple were looking at houses. He pestered me for their contact info. I let him know on no uncertain terms that if they were interested in his services I'd be sure they could contact him, but hitting them up at our meeting was not the time or place. We have had women who expressed discomfort with comments from guys at a pub meetup. Combination of a few beers lowering the filters, made it necessary to tell the group that "Hey this isn't a meat market".

Instead get their contact info and talk to them outside of the context of the group. I'd also tell women to be crystal clear about their interest/disinterest in a guy right up front. It is tempting for them to bask in the admiration and string them along. I'm ashamed to say I did that with a woman in one of the groups to feed my ego, and when she "made a move" I shut her down. Yeah she never came back to the group.
 
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