“Stealing” a girl from your buddy without arousing *HER* suspicion

[ThePhoenix]

 
 
So, Iʼm trying to seduce this chick my friend is banging.  LOL. This isnʼt something Iʼd normally even think of doing, but he actually wants me to! Iʼm being a good sport and trying, partly for the practice, even though sheʼs not exactly my type. (Still a black girl though — thatʼs an absolute mandatory requirement with me, lol.) You can read the full story here, which I may update later because itʼs taken some twists since then.

One catch is, he wants me to do it on my own. It would probably have been simpler to do it with his explicit co‑operation, but heʼs specifically asked that I donʼt let on that he actually invited me to do this.

Iʼll try to go into more detail in the other thread, but the basic rundown is:

We met the other day at his place. Didnʼt do anything sexual, oweing to the obvious context problem. Even incidental touch was minimal. Did deep dive her and she was friendly. I demonstrated a degree of familiarity with African geography and culture probably somewhat atypical of a white guy, while also remarking that I donʼt know much about her particular country and that sheʼs the first person from it that Iʼve met.

Later on, nearing the time we were all leaving, when my buddy was out of the room, I told her sheʼd have to tell me about her country, asked her if sheʼs on WhatsApp, and grabbed her number.

That night, I sent her a “nice meeting you, save my #” type WhatsApp, which was delivered shortly but sat unread until the next evening, and then she replied:

Hi Phoenix how are you? Nice meeting you too and sure iʼll save your number is

I havenʼt answered or even marked read, because I donʼt have a game plan yet and donʼt want to get into unproductive idle chit‑chat. Iʼm thinking maybe I should answer, but Iʼm not sure how until I know what my plan is.

Iʼm meeting the guy tomorrow, and Iʼm going to ask him some questions about her logistics. I normally have to probe logistics, and I hate doing it because mentioning possibilities that donʼt work for her can inadvertently build negative compliance. One interesting aspect here is that I may be able to eliminate a lot of that probing by learning them from him instead.

Theyʼve been seeing each other a couple months max. I donʼt think theyʼre explicitly monogamous and heʼs at least somewhat not, but sheʼs all over him. Extremely affectionate, and calls or messages him all the time. He also thinks sheʼs trying to get knocked up — which would be some seriously complicated shit as sheʼs an exchange student from Africa, — yet this hasnʼt stopped his ubiquitous practice of not using condoms.


Issues

My normal routine would be to get the girl on a coffee date close to my home, deep dive, pull home on some excuse, and escalate.

But this is, well, kinda-sorta, my friendʼs girl. That makes it seem really, really strange to be asking her, by herself out for coffee. Or to my home! Like, um, why am I not inviting them both as a couple? It is a perfect example of dramatic irony! We the audience all know that he actually told me to try to seduce her, in which case this of course makes sense, but she doesnʼt know that! To her, this is going to seem bizarre that all of a sudden her new loverʼs friend is inviting her out somewhere as if heʼd met her randomly.

If I were her, Iʼd be questioning (i) what the hell is going on, (ii) what kind of shitty friend is this that would try to steal his friendʼs girl, and (iii) this is the last person I ought to be cheating with because the risk of it coming back to my guy is extremely high.

How can I execute this in a way that avoids the above three ideas entering into her head?

I have to assume that itʼs imperative for this to be an “oops, it just happened” type thing. But how?


To make matters worse, neither of us drive and she lives about an hour and 20 minutes by city transit. Getting girls to come that far on transit has been hit and miss. This one is of sunny enough disposition itʼs possible, but since our friend drives, suggesting this inconvenience would only enhance the suspiciousness of excluding him.

Uber could be an option, but Iʼm not sure how to do that in a tactically sound manner. Getting her to order it would be asking too much. My ordering it to her address seems a little try‑hard — I hate paying for shit, and have gotten laid by paying for absolutely zero. Perhaps I could balance it off with something like, “Iʼll grab the Uber and you grab the drinks.” (Speaking of which, I suspect she doesnʼt drink alcohol — not that I normally do, either, although I occasionally will take a drink if offered.) Or, I could meet her at a date location close to her and then grab an Uber once with her; that still has some degree of providerey feel to it unless I get her to pay for something, which wouldnʼt be as easy since itʼs only coming up at the end of the date. In any case, resorting to Uber is bizarrely inefficient when we couldʼve had my friend drive.

Trying to pull to her home — she lives with only the landlord — would avoid the transportation dilemma entirely, but at once would also prevent taking advantage of the excellent excuses I have to bring girls to my home, which have worked well in past (usually with girls who either drive or live in my general area). Due to this being a friendʼs girl, it would seem particularly important to have such really solid excuses for pulling home, because I have to at least assume that ASD is going to be significant.


Iʼm basically at a loss for any sort of game plan thatʼs not going to set off alarm bells in her head and/or be logistically bumpy.

 

[Fuck This]

With that distance, I think your buddy needs to invite her for a Weekend. Then make himself scarce. I dunno, have another chick there, have to go in to work? Something to make her feel a bit abandoned...
Alcohol to lower inhibitions, Movie with the lights down. You laying under a blanket with her. Escalate from there.

 

[ThePhoenix]

With that distance, I think your buddy needs to invite her for a Weekend. Then make himself scarce. I dunno, have another chick there, have to go in to work? Something to make her feel a bit abandoned...

Good idea, that would make it a lot simpler!

I suggested this approach to my friend, but I suppose he must not be that desperate to get rid of her, because he would not even consider it.

Actually, I think itʼs due to his strange sense of morality. Heʼd probably have to technically lie in order to do this, and heʼs very much against even trivial dishonesty. For instance, one time I got a girl home from a date by feigning an emergency I had to briefly attend to at the home office. On getting home with her I left her in the livingroom, played busy in the office, then eventually seduced her. Well, this guy strongly disapproved of this tactic on the grounds of my having lied to the girl. Jeesh. Does he even realize the extent to which girls lie?? I emphasized how harmless a lie this was and that it actually helped the girl get what she wanted, but he viewed it as a slippery slope.

More generally, he seems to look at game as manipulative and thinks you should just be yourself, although at once he is aware of certain behavioural traits that are attractive and to some degree implements them naturally. I find his game kind of sloppy. For instance, on his first date with this girl, he took her on one of the worst possible dates — a movie, — and furthermore made no attempt to physically escalate, so that she wouldnʼt think he only wanted her for sex. They did fuck on the second date, but this is not the most attractive girl, and if she hadʼve been, I doubt this wouldʼve worked. I havenʼt met most of his girls, but of the few I have, and of the ones he wasnʼt paying for, theyʼre all big chicks.

Honestly, I donʼt have much motivation to do this. Girlʼs got a decent face, African, fairly dark, which I like, and not short, so sheʼs not totally unattractive to me, but she turned out to be a big girl. Sheʼs not as fatty as a less robust woman of the same volume, so itʼs not quite as bad, but sheʼs still well overweight, and that knocks her quite a ways down the ladder for me. As such, I refuse to take her raw even with a sponge, especially under considerable suspicion sheʼs trying to get pregnant. (He almost never uses condoms, and this girl is no exception even knowing this!) At this nascent point in my journey, not being able to go raw is a big setback. Add to that the fact that itʼs probably going to be harder because sheʼs all over him, and the crappy logistics, and his not being very helpful even though heʼs the one who asked me to do this, and the net effect is that Iʼve become pretty apathetic.

This has become not worth more than a simple craps shot. So Iʼll probably just try to get her for coffee near her work (partly because I donʼt want to be seen in my own neighbourhood with a big chick), and try to pull to my home via an Uber. Itʼs risky, but I donʼt care any more.