Title says all. Her text to me this afternoon, verbatim. LR coming up soon for context, but for now I need to prioritize damage control.
A bit of background: I’m moving in Jan, but for now I’m grinding away at my aunt’s house, bless her generous heart. There’s this girl who lives next door, let’s call her Amythest. Mexican, brown, lithe and pretty damned cute. I had run quite a few errands for her and her brothers since I’ve been here, and I figured it was time they could return the favor. I usually do my best to stay away from weed, but I was really craving some as I figured it’d help me be more creative with some writing projects I was working on. I text her brother first, 15 minutes no reply. I get impatient so I text her next.
She was already chilling in the hot tub with a joint. Perfect. I pop up over the fence to see her. At first I was just gonna take her weed and pass it back (lol) but I figured smoking with her would be a better time. I express as much and she tells me to hop over. I jump down, and miraculously her German Shepard doesn’t even bark at me.
We smoked and bantered for a while, her in her red bikini and me fully dressed besides her on the steps, tension rising. Every time I had seen her prior when we ended up alone she’d gaze at me with this sort of... lustful hope in her eyes. And she made sure to lay it on thick as I sat there less than a foot away from her face, sharing a joint.
Her sister comes out and walks up. “Are you going to pick up (x)? She’s coming at 9.” She then turns to me. ”You should get in the hot tub!” And without another word, she goes back into the house.
Gee whiz, what a great idea! I was definitely going to hop in at some point anyway, so I was all too happy to comply.
tl;dr, It started slow, built up, and then Amythest was thrusting her hips towards me trying her best to get me inside of her. No chance I was gonna keep fucking her in the hot tub with her entire family just yards away, so I told her we’d finish where we left off next door. After about 20 minutes or so she came over. There was the slightest bit of LMR and then we had sex. It was good. Hell, objectively the best I’ve ever had even if I wasn’t as into it as I could’ve been, if not for the sleep deprivation.
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Three days later, she hits me up with the accusation.
HER: Hey !! Can I ask you something
ME: sure what’s up
HER: You gave me herpes virus?? Please tell me???
ME: No. This is something I’d like to talk to you about in person though, this seems odd
ME: have a minute?
HER: Ok sorry let me explain.
HER: So I have a cold sore on my lip and I haven’t kissed anyone except for you so I don’t understand how I could get this and so I read online and it says (Healthline screenshot for reference)
ME: let’s talk, come outside
HER: No why aren’t you telling me
HER: That’s fucked up
HER: (3 minutes later) I’m outside
I come out with my arms to my side as if to say “what the fuck bro?” She’s about to start up but I cut her off by telling her that while this experience can certainly be stressful, I could not have been more unambiguous and direct when I told her I didn’t give her herpes. She points to the cold sore on her lip, but then I counter by pointing to the other scar on her lip, and she tells me that no, that’s from her picking at her lip as a result of her anxiety. I call cap in my mind, but I tell her that neither one of us are scientists, and that she needs to come back to me with a definitive test before I entertain the subject any further. She nods. For whatever reason I decide to show some vulnerability here by telling her she’s stressing me out (did YOU give me herpes??), that her accusations aren’t trivial, and that it’s not okay.
Even though she seemed to be crying a bit when I came out (no tears though, hmm) she suddenly became eerily calm after I said this. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
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This is dicey, and I think I messed up. Looking into it, 50-90% of the global population has HSV-1. I could very well have it and not know about it, so that doesn't put me in the clear.
Telling her to go to the clinic so we could get a definitive answer seemed like the move in the moment, but it would actually just solidify her worries if/when she comes back positive (she definitely has herpes). More importantly, it doesn't actually address her concern - whether or not *I* was the one who gave it to her. Which means I have to go get tested, which I will do tomorrow morning if possible.
After that, there's two scenarios:
1. I test negative while she tests positive. Not only would this completely blow up her accusations, it would also put her on the back foot since now SHE was the one to give ME herpes.
2. We both test positive. This can't in of itself actually prove that *I* was the one who gave it to her since it's so common, but obviously this worsens the situations since she now has pen and paper evidence that implies I could've given it to her.
This could easily spiral out of control if I don’t handle this correctly. And I have my reservations. I fucked her three days ago and she came up with visible symptoms just like that? No incubation period, no build up, nothing? And I’m clean as a whistle, never had herpes (confirmed in the past by previous STD results), so what gives?
HSV-1 isn't a big deal. What is a big deal is the presumption that I lied to her, manipulated her, etc.
S/O to @madala for advising me to take pictures of my clear and sore-free face with timestamps, great call. Any other pointers? I know this kind of thing suggests a failing on my part somewhere along the line, but I will expand on this in the LR. For now, any advice on how to handle this in the here and now would be greatly appreciated.
A bit of background: I’m moving in Jan, but for now I’m grinding away at my aunt’s house, bless her generous heart. There’s this girl who lives next door, let’s call her Amythest. Mexican, brown, lithe and pretty damned cute. I had run quite a few errands for her and her brothers since I’ve been here, and I figured it was time they could return the favor. I usually do my best to stay away from weed, but I was really craving some as I figured it’d help me be more creative with some writing projects I was working on. I text her brother first, 15 minutes no reply. I get impatient so I text her next.
She was already chilling in the hot tub with a joint. Perfect. I pop up over the fence to see her. At first I was just gonna take her weed and pass it back (lol) but I figured smoking with her would be a better time. I express as much and she tells me to hop over. I jump down, and miraculously her German Shepard doesn’t even bark at me.
We smoked and bantered for a while, her in her red bikini and me fully dressed besides her on the steps, tension rising. Every time I had seen her prior when we ended up alone she’d gaze at me with this sort of... lustful hope in her eyes. And she made sure to lay it on thick as I sat there less than a foot away from her face, sharing a joint.
Her sister comes out and walks up. “Are you going to pick up (x)? She’s coming at 9.” She then turns to me. ”You should get in the hot tub!” And without another word, she goes back into the house.
Gee whiz, what a great idea! I was definitely going to hop in at some point anyway, so I was all too happy to comply.
tl;dr, It started slow, built up, and then Amythest was thrusting her hips towards me trying her best to get me inside of her. No chance I was gonna keep fucking her in the hot tub with her entire family just yards away, so I told her we’d finish where we left off next door. After about 20 minutes or so she came over. There was the slightest bit of LMR and then we had sex. It was good. Hell, objectively the best I’ve ever had even if I wasn’t as into it as I could’ve been, if not for the sleep deprivation.
-----------
Three days later, she hits me up with the accusation.
HER: Hey !! Can I ask you something
ME: sure what’s up
HER: You gave me herpes virus?? Please tell me???
ME: No. This is something I’d like to talk to you about in person though, this seems odd
ME: have a minute?
HER: Ok sorry let me explain.
HER: So I have a cold sore on my lip and I haven’t kissed anyone except for you so I don’t understand how I could get this and so I read online and it says (Healthline screenshot for reference)
ME: let’s talk, come outside
HER: No why aren’t you telling me
HER: That’s fucked up
HER: (3 minutes later) I’m outside
I come out with my arms to my side as if to say “what the fuck bro?” She’s about to start up but I cut her off by telling her that while this experience can certainly be stressful, I could not have been more unambiguous and direct when I told her I didn’t give her herpes. She points to the cold sore on her lip, but then I counter by pointing to the other scar on her lip, and she tells me that no, that’s from her picking at her lip as a result of her anxiety. I call cap in my mind, but I tell her that neither one of us are scientists, and that she needs to come back to me with a definitive test before I entertain the subject any further. She nods. For whatever reason I decide to show some vulnerability here by telling her she’s stressing me out (did YOU give me herpes??), that her accusations aren’t trivial, and that it’s not okay.
Even though she seemed to be crying a bit when I came out (no tears though, hmm) she suddenly became eerily calm after I said this. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
--------
This is dicey, and I think I messed up. Looking into it, 50-90% of the global population has HSV-1. I could very well have it and not know about it, so that doesn't put me in the clear.
Telling her to go to the clinic so we could get a definitive answer seemed like the move in the moment, but it would actually just solidify her worries if/when she comes back positive (she definitely has herpes). More importantly, it doesn't actually address her concern - whether or not *I* was the one who gave it to her. Which means I have to go get tested, which I will do tomorrow morning if possible.
After that, there's two scenarios:
1. I test negative while she tests positive. Not only would this completely blow up her accusations, it would also put her on the back foot since now SHE was the one to give ME herpes.
2. We both test positive. This can't in of itself actually prove that *I* was the one who gave it to her since it's so common, but obviously this worsens the situations since she now has pen and paper evidence that implies I could've given it to her.
This could easily spiral out of control if I don’t handle this correctly. And I have my reservations. I fucked her three days ago and she came up with visible symptoms just like that? No incubation period, no build up, nothing? And I’m clean as a whistle, never had herpes (confirmed in the past by previous STD results), so what gives?
HSV-1 isn't a big deal. What is a big deal is the presumption that I lied to her, manipulated her, etc.
S/O to @madala for advising me to take pictures of my clear and sore-free face with timestamps, great call. Any other pointers? I know this kind of thing suggests a failing on my part somewhere along the line, but I will expand on this in the LR. For now, any advice on how to handle this in the here and now would be greatly appreciated.
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