48 years old with a condition... I will succeed!

[JohnWinner]

You cannot imagine the hell I have been through for the last 15 years. I will spare you the details as it's too dramatic and I don't want this post to be too long. Let's just say that I was popular and successful with women in my 20s but came a disease in the beginning of my 30s. Years of chronic pain culminated with years in a wheelchair and 2 hips replacement surgery. A nightmare, really.

I'm now 48 years old and have been single the entire time, 15 years!

I lost so many years doing nothing else but trying to survive and heal, it's so sad.
I am super anxious now because time is running out. I have to act, I have to change my life in any ways I can.

I always wanted to be FREE to approach any women I wanted at any place in any context. Being free of the fear and having the superpower of creating opportunities/abundance/choices. This goal has been with me since forever, it's deep, it's yelling at me! The frustration and anger of my inaction is painful. I know I can do it despite my big "challenges".

If I write here today it's because I know that telling people about that goal is fueling my will to take action. I already told a few friends and now I tell you... feel free to comment and give advices.

Current state of affair...

The bad:

* I am way better now, I can walk but not for long and I still walk funny.

* My posture is terrible, hunching forward. (I do my best to correct it)

* Often too tired/in pain to do anything.

* Society, friends, even psychologists are against me. Nobody seem to understand the goal I want to achieve, this need for freedom. Nobody. I have stopped trying to find someone that could accompany me in this mission.

* Morale is always important but when you face sh*t like I do, it's CRUCIAL. I have spent years avoiding anything that could jeopardize my state of mind/positivism.

* I tried online dating 7 years ago when I was having a few good months. It crushed my morale in no time! I deleted everything after 2 weeks. I didn't have much matches but I was liked by ugly women and I began to think that it was all I could get ever again! So depressing! And I was still walking good enough back then! Cannot imagine what it would be today!

* Of course confidence is not what it used to be.


The good:

* Before the disease I was mister popular and had a ton of success with women, my biggest problem was how to say "no" without causing too much drama! I was lucky and didn't put much effort. I wasn't the prettiest but I was charming and I had that vibe "I do my own stuff and couldn't care less about what other people think" tha attracted girls like crazy. So I have experience, charisma and still a good vibe. Attention though, I am not used to rejections!

* Despite my condition and posture, I am still fit enough. I do what I can to muscle the parts that are not painful!

* I am well balanced. I have been doing personal growth since my early 20s. Plus I have spent years in all kinds of therapies exploring the psychosomatic face of the disease.

* I am calibrated, not shy and funny. It's easy for me to talk to people and make them laugh. Also I tend to attract confidences. It's harder for me to go talk with women I find attractrive (bonus points if they have big breast!) and harder to get flirty instead of funny.

* I am an achiever and independant. Soon in my career I left everything I had and went working on my own. I cherished the freedom and with hard work and tons of failure came success.

* I am rich enough to be semi retired since I was 45. I spent so many years stuck at home on my computer, at least it was worth it!

* I have all the time I want to pursue my goals.

* In the last months I went to a few speed dating events. It confirmed a couple of things for me: I am still attractive enough to get dates and interest, women care much less about my condition and my age than I thought. I took a few rejections, it was painful but the next was easier.

* A few years ago I did some approaches with a friend, it was exalting! I learned a ton just by doing it. Having someone at my side I can do anything.

* A few weeks ago I was with a friend and we were at a cafe. There come this beautiful women... we were leaving but I stopped, turned back and went to see her. I complimented her about something nice she was wearing. It went smoothly and she was receptive and smiled. I was so proud! I felf like the king of the world!

* The week after I tried to compliment a women on my own, solo without friends. I succeeded. When I break the approach anxiety I find it easy afterward.

================================

I haven't done much in the last ~10 days. I don't feel good enough... I hate that I lose time waiting for my good days to do something. In the meantime at least I write this post and I listen to videos, train a little, keep up with my physiotherapy, read books, etc. It's not fair to say I do nothing but the anxiety of the time passing is intense! I want abundance NOW!

Thanks for reading frienz. I wish you the best!

 

[Glow]

Sounds like a rough one mate. Welcome to. And props for doing what you can under the constraints. Just find your pace and look for what resources and strengths you can apply in that. Seduction has many ways.

 

[Warped Mindless]

What’s your condition?

 

[JohnWinner]

What’s your condition?

Ankylosing Spondylitis

 

[POB]

I'm 46 and have cronic back pain due to a full blown lower back hernia from 2021.
Although not as severe as your condition, I have a clue about how we try to "wait" for the good days to sarge.

My take:
- don't

There will never be good days again, only "better" and "worse".
Perfect days are gone from our lives.

We know pain will always be there, so unless it's literally preventing us from walking (and sometimes it does), if we wanna get women, we must push through.

Sorry if I don't have any uplifting speech for you...just shooting the harsh reality of a fellow busted brother in arms.
If your pipi is working fine, endure your shit and go out.

P.S. welcome to the boards!

 

[Warped Mindless]

Ankylosing Spondylitis

Have you tried the carnivore diet? My friends father diminished his arthritis by 90% after about five months on the carnivore diet.

I just googled your condition and found several people who claims to have cured or at least diminished that very condition by using a carnivore diet.

 

[JohnWinner]

Have you tried the carnivore diet? My friends father diminished his arthritis by 90% after about five months on the carnivore diet.

I just googled your condition and found several people who claims to have cured or at least diminished that very condition by using a carnivore diet.

I have tried everything and anything that made sense. Healing is my ultimate goal and I have been working on it every single day of the last 15 years. My health journal has thousands of entry! When I am healed I will put everything online. My biography will be fantastic and inspiring! Getting rich, getting healed and getting laid! lol! The ultimate freedom.

PS: I am overflowing with health related stuff in my life, I would prefer if we stick to seduction and dating here please.

 

[JohnWinner]

I'm 46 and have cronic back pain due to a full blown lower back hernia from 2021.
Although not as severe as your condition, I have a clue about how we try to "wait" for the good days to sarge.

My take:
- don't

There will never be good days again, only "better" and "worse".
Perfect days are gone from our lives.

We know pain will always be there, so unless it's literally preventing us from walking (and sometimes it does), if we wanna get women, we must push through.

Sorry if I don't have any uplifting speech for you...just shooting the harsh reality of a fellow busted brother in arms.
If your pipi is working fine, endure your shit and go out.

P.S. welcome to the boards!

I love the spirit!
I'm intrigued... Does it affect your walking/posture? Did you get any results despite your condition?

Please disregard if it makes you upset or if you don't want to read that but...if I may... Never give up friend, the pain can go away! I have been researching for 15 years and I have seen plenty of healing from anything and everything. Most of the convincing healing stories are from psychosomatic/traumas/repressed emotions. Please do not stop looking because of what doctors say. Have a look at the books from John Sarno, I think you might like him. Also ask Gemini (Google has way more old data from sites that are no longer online) about testimonies of people healed from ernia or check the TMS Wiki site. Good luck!

 

[Chase]

Welcome, man!

Ankylosing Spondylitis

My father has this. Quite a bad case of it, too. Was never wheelchair-bound but his vertebrae were completely fused by the time I was a teenager. Later on, a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into my father's car, sandwiching him, shattering his back (plus many other bones), which quickly completely re-fused while he was in hospice into an even more horribly hunched posture. The truck driver was sobbing in court when he saw how he looked (permanently) even after recovery.

Thing is, in spite of his frozen back/neck and horrid posture (his workmates nicknamed him 'Igor') he is still a very charming guy. Until at least his mid-60s my mother complained about women randomly popping up to hit on him at social events, in supermarkets, etc. Haven't heard from her about that in a while but maybe I should ask if that's still going on

When I have had girlfriends meet my folks they talk about how charming he is. I had a girlfriend in her mid-20s who met him when he was 58 tell me, "I like your father even better than you! I want to leave you and date your father!" only half in jest...!

Anyway, it seems to me you get something of a lift having clearly beyond-your-control screwed-up posture but being carefree and charming regardless. Women just go, "Wow, that hasn't stopped him, huh? This guy's really something!"

I've always wondered how he'd do if he was single at his age with his condition... but I mostly suspect he'd do fine.

Looking forward to see how you do!

Chase

 

[JohnWinner]

Welcome, man!



My father has this. Quite a bad case of it, too. Was never wheelchair-bound but his vertebrae were completely fused by the time I was a teenager. Later on, a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into my father's car, sandwiching him, shattering his back (plus many other bones), which quickly completely re-fused while he was in hospice into an even more horribly hunched posture. The truck driver was sobbing in court when he saw how he looked (permanently) even after recovery.

Thing is, in spite of his frozen back/neck and horrid posture (his workmates nicknamed him 'Igor') he is still a very charming guy. Until at least his mid-60s my mother complained about women randomly popping up to hit on him at social events, in supermarkets, etc. Haven't heard from her about that in a while but maybe I should ask if that's still going on

When I have had girlfriends meet my folks they talk about how charming he is. I had a girlfriend in her mid-20s who met him when he was 58 tell me, "I like your father even better than you! I want to leave you and date your father!" only half in jest...!

Anyway, it seems to me you get something of a lift having clearly beyond-your-control screwed-up posture but being carefree and charming regardless. Women just go, "Wow, that hasn't stopped him, huh? This guy's really something!"

I've always wondered how he'd do if he was single at his age with his condition... but I mostly suspect he'd do fine.

Looking forward to see how you do!

Chase

I'm so sorry for your father, that's terrible ... but I LOVE THE STORY!
It's true that disease also brings good like much more empathy, much more softness, patience and resilience.
I have read quite a few testimonies from older men with conditions (Gemini is a gem for that!) and it is inspiring.

After my few speed dating I realized that I was not as picky as before and I now care more about true connection.
It's weird because I was so far removed from "real life" for so long that I still have my old parameters from 15 years ago and I have to rediscover myself, my tastes, my strengh, my weakness by getting exposed.

I used to want only hookups, nothing serious but I would now prefer an actual serious girlfriend... or not... to be rediscovered! lol!

I think if I approach more I will get back my confidence and it will work good enough. I just have to do the work.

 

[POB]

I'm intrigued... Does it affect your walking/posture?

A little bit, yes.
I kinda walk funny when it's hurting too much.

Did you get any results despite your condition?

I'd argue I got better results after it!
Had to shift my game from almost pure physicality to a more subtle approach.
Seduction became more smooth and natural.

Please disregard if it makes you upset or if you don't want to read that but...if I may... Never give up friend, the pain can go away! I have been researching for 15 years and I have seen plenty of healing from anything and everything. Most of the convincing healing stories are from psychosomatic/traumas/repressed emotions. Please do not stop looking because of what doctors say. Have a look at the books from John Sarno, I think you might like him. Also ask Gemini (Google has way more old data from sites that are no longer online) about testimonies of people healed from ernia or check the TMS Wiki site. Good luck!

Oh no, anything is welcome, thx!
I'm in full treatment (pilates/physio) and fighting my health care provider to cover the costs of a non-invasive surgery that would greatly aliviate my main issue (vertebrae bone is "leaking" and pressuring the nerves on my left side).

 

[JohnWinner]

A little bit, yes.
I kinda walk funny when it's hurting too much.

I'd argue I got better results after it!
Had to shift my game from almost pure physicality to a more subtle approach.
Seduction became more smooth and natural.

Oh no, anything is welcome, thx!
I'm in full treatment (pilates/physio) and fighting my health care provider to cover the costs of a non-invasive surgery that would greatly aliviate my main issue (vertebrae bone is "leaking" and pressuring the nerves on my left side).

It's encouraging! We're warriors!