FR A girl triple texted me! And then blocked me.. why?

[TrailBlazer]

So I approached this girl when I was in a great flow state, there were a lot of intense eye contact moments and nice connection in general.

However I was in a rush so I just took her IG, we said that we’ll definitely meet again soon.

She was way hotter on IG than in reality so I got a bit nervous, but I still texted her my typical message:

me:
7:04 “cool meeting you. but I have an important question”

her:
7:05 yes?
7:21 what question?
7:40 I guess no question

me:
8:20 don’t be impatient xD I was on a call with a friend
8:20 what’s the best thing you can cook?

her:
8:21 I’m definitely not impatient xD
8:22 and I don’t cook for men
8:22 they don’t deserve it

me:
8:52 yeah good mindset anyway I meant in general

- BLOCKED -

Dammit, I put all my years of knowledge of game into this one and still a terrible result. After her triple texting! Can someone give me an outside perspective here?

 

[topcat]

You're trying too hard to come off "high value" in your messages, and it's causing the girl to get defensive and autoreject.

“cool meeting you. but I have an important question”

"Cool meeting you but..." sounds like you're screening her. Asking for her number after the approach implicitly indicates she met your standards, so why are you now having second thoughts?

I assume you're intent was to use intrigue bait, but it's best to assume good faith after getting the number, build rapport and lead her to the soft close.

her:
7:05 yes?
7:21 what question?
7:40 I guess no question

She's into you... (also behaves like a gen z which means you need to tread even more lightly than you would typically)

me:
8:20 don’t be impatient xD I was on a call with a friend
8:20 what’s the best thing you can cook?

So you punish her for her interest, by displaying that you are higher value than she is, and that she is impatient for showing interest in you.

Predictably then...

her:
8:21 I’m definitely not impatient xD
8:22 and I don’t cook for men
8:22 they don’t deserve it

She defends her ego and autorejects..

me:
8:52 yeah good mindset anyway I meant in general

You reward her retreat and seal it by chasing for investment...

---

The rhythm you want to be following in any interaction is as follows:

1. Assume interest/attraction at first
2. Reward interest/attraction/compliance with attention/warmth/interest & compliance asks that escalate the interaction positively
3. Punish lack of compliance with waning attention

The only time you want to be antagonistic with a girl is if she's being assertively abrasive without any retreat signals. This means she's potentially interested in you, so you reward her with abrasive energy of your own, but backed by a bit of warmth and devil-may-care so she knows how to adjust her energy if in fact she does like you.

Make sense?

 

[TrailBlazer]

You're trying too hard to come off "high value" in your messages, and it's causing the girl to get defensive and autoreject.


"Cool meeting you but..." sounds like you're screening her. Asking for her number after the approach implicitly indicates she met your standards, so why are you now having second thoughts?

I assume you're intent was to use intrigue bait, but it's best to assume good faith after getting the number, build rapport and lead her to the soft close.

Ok so I thought about it and the reason I screen girls right after getting their contact is to not appear needy or too basic. I’m not trying to be some unc who says the basic “cool meeting you, when are we doing the coffee thing?”. I’m sure gen z girls hate this. We have to be creative and aloof. Also I don’t want to come off as too easy to get.

On the street I had an advantage due to my balls to approach, but in the DMs I’m suddenly yet another guy. I need to stand out from the rest of dudes texting her, right?

So you punish her for her interest, by displaying that you are higher value than she is, and that she is impatient for showing interest in you.

I was punishing the toxic “I guess no question” ping, not the follow ups. Also again I’m trying to be unpredictable and allow her to chase me by pushing her away. That’s what it’s all about no?

The rhythm you want to be following in any interaction is as follows:

1. Assume interest/attraction at first
2. Reward interest/attraction/compliance with attention/warmth/interest & compliance asks that escalate the interaction positively
3. Punish lack of compliance with waning attention

I’m not sure I can handle being warm at first. There’s too much risk of being the “good guy” who wears his heart on his sleeve, just wants to be nice and when a girl rejects that, he’s like “ah screw her”. No, I can’t be that. I start cautiously and only when she warms up, I warm up to her. I don’t want to be vulnerable only for that to get rejected. That would hurt much more!

The only time you want to be antagonistic with a girl is if she's being assertively abrasive without any retreat signals. This means she's potentially interested in you, so you reward her with abrasive energy of your own, but backed by a bit of warmth and devil-may-care so she knows how to adjust her energy if in fact she does like you.

So we treat girls nice be default? Again, that seems too basic, too needy aka “I’m nice because I need something from you”, old 30-something unc energy. I’m describing it this harshly because I really don’t want to become that.

I want to be cool and edgy like any other successful gen z guy. I want to play with the girls and have them struggling to figure me out. I want to tease them and push them away just like we did in kindergarten.

But you should know this works, out of all people, so I’m curious what made you give me this type of advice.

 

[OldGuy]

Do not confuse 'polite' guy with 'nice' guy. Having to wait an half hour for the question was impolite. The, you go right into checking her out for cooking skills, auditioning her for wife before lover. (Only half of boomer women could cook, le alone gen z.)

 

[TrailBlazer]

Do not confuse 'polite' guy with 'nice' guy. Having to wait an half hour for the question was impolite. The, you go right into checking her out for cooking skills, auditioning her for wife before lover. (Only half of boomer women could cook, le alone gen z.)

I mean I could have been busy, right? But the real reason it took me an hour to respond was that I couldn’t think of any question to ask her.

Normally I ask “dogs or cats?” but I asked this one irl already. So the cooking question was highly improvised, I don’t care about her cooking at all and as you say, I only wanted her as a lover. But as they say, you have to put the purpose before the words. The purpose was to test for compliance before asking her out, and she didn’t have any of it.

If I had asked her out without testing her first, she wouldn’t value it because it’d be for free. We have to give the date invites as rewards for her compliance right?

 

[topcat]

But you should know this works, out of all people, so I’m curious what made you give me this type of advice.

170 lays worth of experience, texting as I described..

Keep doing what you’re doing if it’s working for you

 

[Skills]

So I approached this girl when I was in a great flow state, there were a lot of intense eye contact moments and nice connection in general.

However I was in a rush so I just took her IG, we said that we’ll definitely meet again soon.

She was way hotter on IG than in reality so I got a bit nervous, but I still texted her my typical message:

me:
7:04 “cool meeting you. but I have an important question”

her:
7:05 yes?
7:21 what question?
7:40 I guess no question

me:
8:20 don’t be impatient xD I was on a call with a friend
8:20 what’s the best thing you can cook?

her:
8:21 I’m definitely not impatient xD
8:22 and I don’t cook for men
8:22 they don’t deserve it

me:
8:52 yeah good mindset anyway I meant in general

- BLOCKED -

Dammit, I put all my years of knowledge of game into this one and still a terrible result. After her triple texting! Can someone give me an outside perspective here?

you are trying to be mr. pua gimmicky... this is totally unnecessary...

Don't go to instagram (try to get phone number) so you don't get intimidated by her insta. (this will happen girl will be couple of points higher than in person which cause intimidation and neediness)

open with something related to the meet... allow her to respond, if she get anxiety for you taking too long to response, apologize and let her save face... Sorry about that i was with a client..... "don't be impatient" was totally off and uncalibrated and rude... you are punishing like topcat said her texting.... the qualifying question can you cook? it was totally off and weird (i know what you are trying to do, but not)...

Forget about "Can you cook" (outdated pua shit)... There are more better qualifying things (but in this case is off) she gave you the number in person no need for qualifiers at that point of interaction...

Dammit, I put all my years of knowledge of game into this one and still a terrible result. After her triple texting! Can someone give me an outside perspective here

who taught you that crap... nobody here uses shit like that "can you cook" is 20 years ago pua crap...

p.s. i explain dynamics of taking long to respond on your end:

Calls & Texts - How to address when you are busy and you are the one that takes long to text back

Guys i explained in this post how important is from a game stand point to keep momentum is one of those epiphanies that i wish i knew sooner (please take the time and review that post).... I also talk about how to deal with flakes and radio silence..... I even touch about this there, but...

www.skilledseducer.com

p.s. 2 90% of gen z don't cook, show you are not Intune with the gen.

 

[TrailBlazer]

What I’m getting from these replies is “you tried to look cool and pull off something amazing with her chasing hard, but you failed”.

If we compare it to extreme sports, I tried to do many tricks ant once and fumbled it. But is that a bad thing? Should I stop trying the cool tricks altogether?

I mean, wouldn’t it be cool if she replied to “don’t be impatient” with “sorry but I really wanted you to tell me the question, I was afraid I did something wrong”? I’ve had girls in the past respond well to my borderline rude texts with a “trying to make it up to me” energy and it sets a great dynamic early on.

Your and topcat’s advice is solid and I’ll calibrate based on it, but I’m really afraid I’ll become too safe, too boring and predictable. I want to constantly be testing the limits of what’s possible in seduction, to move the field forward, develop new techniques, I don’t want to just get girls… I want them to chase me without me having to be too warm at first.. we have the law of least effort right? And the most aloof guys have the most girls chasing them.

 

[Skills]

What I’m getting from these replies is “you tried to look cool and pull off something amazing with her chasing hard, but you failed”.

If we compare it to extreme sports, I tried to do many tricks ant once and fumbled it. But is that a bad thing? Should I stop trying the cool tricks altogether?

I mean, wouldn’t it be cool if she replied to “don’t be impatient” with “sorry but I really wanted you to tell me the question, I was afraid I did something wrong”? I’ve had girls in the past respond well to my borderline rude texts with a “trying to make it up to me” energy and it sets a great dynamic early on.

Your and topcat’s advice is solid and I’ll calibrate based on it, but I’m really afraid I’ll become too safe, too boring and predictable. I want to constantly be testing the limits of what’s possible in seduction, to move the field forward, develop new techniques, I don’t want to just get girls… I want them to chase me without me having to be too warm at first.. we have the law of least effort right? And the most aloof guys have the most girls chasing them.

brah! testing limits is not being uncalibrated and off!

you can constantly test limits with baby steps, "can you cook" is not testing limits is dumb shit! uncalibrated... "don't be impatient" came across off..

nothing to do with being "safe" or "testing limits" and you have a wrong understanding of both concepts...

 

[alexlaguma]

you are trying to be mr. pua gimmicky... this is totally unnecessary...

Exactly this. Its way too "gamey".

It sub-communicates that you are trying hard to be clever / witty. Girls pick up on this stuff.

Don't sweat it, we've all done it. Just listen to topcat - that is good advice.

 

[mirror]

8:22 they don’t deserve it

me:
8:52 yeah good mindset anyway I meant in general

- BLOCKED -

Dammit, I put all my years of knowledge of game into this one and still a terrible result. After her triple texting! Can someone give me an outside perspective here?

You hit on her, and then took it back. Bad move.

You could either have gone with her frame or negged her.

like maybe you should have gone with her frame and then reset it later on.
Maybe you could have apologized to her for the men she met.
maybe something like ´ok. well, as an apology for the terrible men you met, I can cook for you.`

Or, something like:
'you really hate men huh'

or something like:
'didn't take you for a manhater'' (risky, she could block for this too)

or something like:
'ok whoa, no need to shoot me down. i was just curious.'

 

[TrailBlazer]

brah! testing limits is not being uncalibrated and off!

you can constantly test limits with baby steps, "can you cook" is not testing limits is dumb shit! uncalibrated... "don't be impatient" came across off..

nothing to do with being "safe" or "testing limits" and you have a wrong understanding of both concepts...

God I wish there was some template for this.. I understand that I shouldn’t be too gamey, but what instead?

Yesterday I got another contact, this time I only texted “fun meeting you” (so no question), of course she replied “glad to hear, you too”.

..And what now? This happens all the time, I just don’t know what to text! There was nothing interesting in the approach, so now I need to build attraction - or at least some compliance before asking her out..

 

[Skills]

God I wish there was some template for this.. I understand that I shouldn’t be too gamey, but what instead?

Yesterday I got another contact, this time I only texted “fun meeting you” (so no question), of course she replied “glad to hear, you too”.

..And what now? This happens all the time, I just don’t know what to text! There was nothing interesting in the approach, so now I need to build attraction - or at least some compliance before asking her out..

The format would be i am here doing "high value activity" what are you up to...

ex.- I am at work just finished with a client, what are you up to?

she goes "blah blah" probably ask you what you do or if you are the gym what gym you go to etc...

you go "cool" and/or you expand on her answer, then ask another question

then soft close, hard close...

^ i got a good feeling about you we should meet for coffee to get to know each other better? (or tacos or bobba or icecream)

then find out her schedule, then follow up with pings till meet then confirm...


Brother plenty of texting guides...

 

[TrailBlazer]

The format would be i am here doing "high value activity" what are you up to...

ex.- I am at work just finished with a client, what are you up to?

she goes "blah blah" probably ask you what you do or if you are the gym what gym you go to etc...

you go "cool" and/or you expand on her answer, then ask another question

then soft close, hard close...

^ i got a good feeling about you we should meet for coffee to get to know each other better? (or tacos or bobba or icecream)

then find out her schedule, then follow up with pings till meet then confirm...


Brother plenty of texting guides...

That sounds good, I wrote:

“just finished my dance class, one more to go. what u up to?”

And she wrote, 3 hours later:

“had a long day at work, and did some cleaning”
“what kind of dance class?”

Now I’m having a REALLY hard time thinking of the second question to ask. It’s now been 20 hours since her last message, I’ve been thinking about it actively the whole time, and I still don’t know.. I didn’t even answer her question.. this is why I was wishing for a template with literal messages to send, this is ruining my life… I don’t want to mess this one up..

 

[topcat]

That sounds good, I wrote:

“just finished my dance class, one more to go. what u up to?”

And she wrote, 3 hours later:

“had a long day at work, and did some cleaning”
“what kind of dance class?”

Now I’m having a REALLY hard time thinking of the second question to ask. It’s now been 20 hours since her last message, I’ve been thinking about it actively the whole time, and I still don’t know.. I didn’t even answer her question.. this is why I was wishing for a template with literal messages to send, this is ruining my life… I don’t want to mess this one up..

Bruv have a genuine conversation:

“what kind of dance class?”

“kizomba classes..such a great work out?
have you ever heard of it?”

“noo what’s that all about..?”

*trailblazer explains it in a way that shows some passion*

- girl gives a positive answer

(trailblazer) “yeah it’s such a fun way of expressing yourself.. we should grab a coffee sometime, i’ll tell you all about it”

—done—

don’t overthink it

 

[Skills]

Bruv have a genuine conversation:

“what kind of dance class?”

“kizomba classes..such a great work out?
have you ever heard of it?”

“noo what’s that all about..?”

*trailblazer explains it in a way that shows some passion*

- girl gives a positive answer

(trailblazer) “yeah it’s such a fun way of expressing yourself.. we should grab a coffee sometime, i’ll tell you all about it”

—done—

don’t overthink it

Yeah or i will teach or show you couple steps... You take the teacher role and easy to escalate... Look at James d last lr for context...

 

[TrailBlazer]

Bruv have a genuine conversation:

Yeah or i will teach or show you couple steps...

Okay guys so I did it, it was really difficult for me to have a genuine conversation because I NEVER do that, it’s techniques 100% of the time. But I wanted to try your approach.

But I’ve been stuck thinking about the reply for over a day, so I had to address that time gap as well. Also she’s just visiting my country and leaves in a few days so maybe I should have replied sooner, but I really tried my best:


So, her: what kind of dance class?

Me (1.5 days later) : sorry for writing late, had too much stuff, but I still think you’re cool
kizomba, best dance ever, ever heard of it? (I actually dance it haha)

Her (9 hours later) : yeah I know it
and it’s fine

Me (15 hours later, here I couldn’t keep the “genuine conversation” mode and had to throw in a compliance tester) : are u spontaneous?

Her (1 hour later) : why?

Me (1 hour later) : I’m organising a dance event tonight, you can join us

Her (1 hour later) : I can’t today, I’ll be in town tommorow

Me (6 hours later) : tomorrow could be, I may have some time after 5pm, you seemed interesting so it could be fun

Her (20 hours later) : I can’t make it


So yeah, during the approach she was quite interested, but there I was my “PUA self”, so I guess this “genuine style” isn’t for me after all? It felt really weird, like too basic, I started studying pickup at 14 years old to become interesting, not a normal conversation guy. I want to be super controversial with the girls, for me what works is bait bait bait, nothing genuine at all.

I actually wish I could be genuine, but then it’s like two humans talking, there’s not that wall of techniques hiding me.. treating seduction as a genuine human interaction and not a game makes me feel too vulnerable.. I want to change this but I also don’t want to become mr genuine good boring guy..

 

[topcat]

Okay guys so I did it, it was really difficult for me to have a genuine conversation because I NEVER do that, it’s techniques 100% of the time. But I wanted to try your approach.

But I’ve been stuck thinking about the reply for over a day, so I had to address that time gap as well. Also she’s just visiting my country and leaves in a few days so maybe I should have replied sooner, but I really tried my best:


So, her: what kind of dance class?

Me (1.5 days later) : sorry for writing late, had too much stuff, but I still think you’re cool
kizomba, best dance ever, ever heard of it? (I actually dance it haha)

Her (9 hours later) : yeah I know it
and it’s fine

Me (15 hours later, here I couldn’t keep the “genuine conversation” mode and had to throw in a compliance tester) : are u spontaneous?

Her (1 hour later) : why?

Me (1 hour later) : I’m organising a dance event tonight, you can join us

Her (1 hour later) : I can’t today, I’ll be in town tommorow

Me (6 hours later) : tomorrow could be, I may have some time after 5pm, you seemed interesting so it could be fun

Her (20 hours later) : I can’t make it


So yeah, during the approach she was quite interested, but there I was my “PUA self”, so I guess this “genuine style” isn’t for me after all? It felt really weird, like too basic, I started studying pickup at 14 years old to become interesting, not a normal conversation guy. I want to be super controversial with the girls, for me what works is bait bait bait, nothing genuine at all.

I actually wish I could be genuine, but then it’s like two humans talking, there’s not that wall of techniques hiding me.. treating seduction as a genuine human interaction and not a game makes me feel too vulnerable.. I want to change this but I also don’t want to become mr genuine good boring guy..

Jesus christ man, stop diagnosing yourself and approach this with a bit of curiosity and resilience…

Being genuine wasn’t your problem. You were genuine for a sum total of one message and then descended into your old slop..

Her (9 hours later) : yeah I know it
and it’s fine

She’s complying and interested (see those emojis? good), so there’s no need for a compliance test..

Her you should’ve asked her if she’s ever tried kizomba, deep dive her in dancing in general. Reply with your own situationally relevant knowledge, where appropriate.

Once you’re engaged in a good conversation, then you invite her for a drink or bite, as a REWARD for her compliance. Not dance class that’s just overcomplicating things before you get to isolate her. ISOLATION is the goal here.

Me (6 hours later) : tomorrow could be, I may have some time after 5pm, you seemed interesting so it could be fun

Bad practice 1: giving her a specific time
- you want to ask her what her schedule is like, before suggesting a day so you can avoid schedule clashes..

Bad practice 2: taking hours to respond - you’re ruining the flow of conversation and killing momentum.

—

In short, stop assuming you know what you’re doing when it’s clearly not working. Put what elders tell you into practise. Test test test & get sufficient feedback before assuming it doesn’t work. And ask process informed questions…

 

[topcat]

Another question, do you know how to have a good conversation with a non-sexual acquaintance?

Seductive conversation is the same, except you covertly raise the sexual tension, and ask for compliance towards increasingly more intimate behaviour and activity until she’s in your bedroom…

None of this gamey clown stuff you seem to think seduction is..

 

[Mr Mistah]

This is an interesting one.

I like it.

OP is attempting to avoid boring, predicatble normie conversation - very valid and sensible cause.

But his conversational rolodex only has;

1. Edgy asshole ragebait game - You see this with streamers like Clav. Be rude to the bitch and she still swoons.

2. Qualification Attempts - Do you like cooking/Are you spontaneous etc

From where I sit, you need to:

1. Expand you conversational skillset i.e Work on wit, banter, cold reads, roleplay etc to avoid boring conversationalist

Ragebaiting & trying to make her qualify to you aren't the only pathways to being a good conversationalist

Go watch PWF on Youtube and see how he does it. Best in the game

2. Really interrogate why conversations are such high stakes events for you.

Manifests like:

- Noooooooo. I put my whole mind, body and soul into this but she left me on read. Nooooo

- Mulling for hours on end what to text her (over investment)

- Acting tough but immediately breaking character and chasing at the first sign of pushback

Too much investment.

Too much outcome dependence.

And potentially not enough leads in the pipeline.

Okay guys so I did it, it was really difficult for me to have a genuine conversation because I NEVER do that, it’s techniques 100% of the time. But I wanted to try your approach.

I actually wish I could be genuine, but then it’s like two humans talking, there’s not that wall of techniques hiding me.. treating seduction as a genuine human interaction and not a game makes me feel too vulnerable.. I want to change this but I also don’t want to become mr genuine good boring guy..

This too.

Why can't you be genuine?
Why are you afraid of the spotlight shinning on you?
Why must you perform all these gimmicks and tricks to be worthy of the spotlight?

Don't you have interesting talents/hobbies/routines to talk about?

Also the secret to being interesting is being interested.

Stop looking inwards - look outwards.

Yeah. That's all from me now. Hope this totally unsolicited advice sparks a lightbulb for you

Cheers