FR A girl triple texted me! And then blocked me.. why?

[TrailBlazer]

Why can't you be genuine?
Why are you afraid of the spotlight shinning on you?

Really good feedback, thanks.

I started with game 7 years ago because I could act as someone else. Someone better.

I have always been extremely ashamed of myself, ever since kindergarten. Felt much worse than other kids. So with game, I could cosplay as Mystery or Julien or whoever, and not have to face the pain of being seen.

Now, for the first time ever, I’m realising that in order to truly become successful, I have to stop hiding.

And to answer your questions:

I can’t be genuine because ever since I was born I’ve repeatedly been rejected and severely punished for anything genuine. I couldn’t talk, laugh or move too much. I was a burden for everyone.

So now I have to perform gimmicks in order to be worthy of attention.

I can’t even imagine any woman who has some standards being interested in the real me. I’m the guy whose parents threw him away and everyone bullied and abused.

I’m trying to change the story now, but I can feel my past and the role that I’ve been given really intensely. I was literally built on these experiences.

And why am I so outcome dependent?

Well because game is my opportunity to finally become worthy of love and attention. It’s me trying to change my story of the rejected one. So I really have to try hard, because every rejections only strengthens the original story - no matter how much I know it doesn’t correlate.

I still haven’t found a way around this.

 

[Mr Mistah]

game is my opportunity to finally become worthy of love and attention. It’s me trying to change my story of the rejected one

You're very honest and self aware - that's a great sign.

A few additional pointers that may aid you;

1. You have an Inner Game problem that you're trying to fix with Outer Game.

One of my biggest criticisms against contemporary game/seduction circles is this.

Every fucking issue is a skill or technique issue.

Nobody care to look under the hood and figure out what the real problem is.

2. The Inner Game problem you have is Mother Wound.

Self Esteem is defined as believing that you are inherently worthy of love (Mother) and that you are capable of dealing and handling life's challenges (Father).

Mother - "I am worthy. And I don't need any proof or skills or competence for that to be true"

Father - "I am capable. Any skills or competency I want, I can get. Rejection means nothing about me personally - it's just data on areas I need to focus on"

3. Your Mother Wound means that you are not internally validated.

You are looking for love outside of yourself.

That's the basis of attachment theory - as children we rely on our parents/caregivers to validate us.

But when they fail to do so we carry that neglect into our adulthood resulting in all these issues.

But truth is we are not kids anymore. You are self sufficient. The neglected child programming is a weight that needs to be let go of.

The men who never do try to fill that hole with money, power, status, titles, women etc to affirm their worthiness.

Healing is simple. Flip that switch from external validation to internal validation.

4. Mother wounds manifest in 3 different ways.

A. Chronic Shame: A baseline feeling that you are "unloveable" or "unworthy" underneath your clothes/personality.

B. Performance Identity: You feel you must "earn" the right to be in a room or worthy of love. Hence the gimmicks and all

C. The Void: A deep, hungry hole in your chest that you try to fill with external validation (women, money, status).

5. To fix Mother wound, psychologists use IFS system.

Give it a read and see if anything changes.

 

[Marty]

Healing is simple.

Self Esteem is defined as believing that you are inherently worthy of love (Mother)

To fix Mother wound, psychologists use IFS system.

Thank you, @Mr Mistah. I listened to a video on this topic and found it interesting and helpful. I plan to explore further.