A new start as a 35 year old Asian man.

[poweroverwhelming9010]

9/23/26. Impacts of growing physique. (only general life updates// no cold approaches)

Time is flying man. I haven't been approaching (probably won't until I'm done w/ classes) but I've been seeing subtle differences.

I force myself to workout every day and I'm progressing very well on my compound lifts very linearly. I switched up my programming from maxing out every set I can to a powerlifter's program. I'm not trying to be a powerlifter, but I'm taking how they strategize their plans. Basically you warm up linearly up to the weight you can max out at for 2-3 reps. You do 1-2 sets then go down about 20% and do about 4-6 sets of 5-8 reps while leaving some reps in the gas tank. This kind of changed the game for me. I was trying to max out every single day going hard and I would be left with no energy. Just exhausted. But I kept going. I went almost every day for the last 2-3 months without a fail. I finally took the past weekend off from lifting and slept in to let my body recover and adapting my program. After changing the program, my overall energy levels are better. Lifts are going up pretty good.

I also started noticing subtle ioi's I haven't really seen in a while. Girls check you out very subtly. When we're walking past each other, they're looking forward. But if I'm also looking forward, they'll try to check me out at the very last second before we cross each other. Idk where I built this habit up but it's kind of like an intuition thing where i'll be walking zoned out but catch em at the last second. For instance I was walking from class to somewhere and this girl (probably like 20-22) looked at me last second and I non-chanlantly looked back at the last second as a gut feeling. I saw her eyes widen a little bit cause she got 'caught' and quickly turned her eye sight forward while walking away. And girls in general are also more 'reserved' or a bit 'neutral/aloof' ish but when I ask for compliance, it's very good. The only thing that really changed about me so far is my physique (and one can argue my internal confidence as well which could translate to my vibe). I wear very loose shirts but because I work out my upper chest/back/shoulder width, those subtly show up right below my face through the 'loose shirts' and I think it's very good in terms of body language as well. In terms of game, standing at 45 degrees while talking to her, she sees my side profile which is comprised of (rear delts + shoulders + arms + upper chest) it boosts something in the vibe to where if she was neutral, it would be neutral + 1 or 2.

Girls in general are also way more feminine. I feel like I get a bit of more hostility from fat girls (lol). But I've also noticed like average girls tend to be more reserved + cute girls tend to be more feminine around me being cutesy etc. This is just from pure presence and meeting her the first time via class or work. Physique really adds some good points. Once I get my money straight + have my style back/get my life together, I think I might even do better than when I was younger.

Anyway, that's it for now.

Edit:// Pretty relevant articles on your physique growing.

What every skinny guy should know...

Smart, fun, and interesting. So why is it that all the beautiful women always seem out of your grasp? Why!? You may even be athletic. You can do karate, can run super fast around the track, along with other things. So why does it seem you can get the average to cute girls but the very...

www.sosuave.net

From the article: "I know many of you guys are saying the same thing, “I get beautiful women too and I am skinny!” But the thing is, all these examples here is based on attraction on the body alone. I am NOT working to get these women. My body is doing 99% of the attracting. I can just be a statue and get a response. (But of course, you have to take action. This is based on doing zilch.)

Rather than work hard to get one woman, why not work hard on yourself and get all the women? I don’t work hard to get women, I work hard on my dreams which gets the women automatically."



(extra fluff i want to remember for later:
Lawliet-

"What about you?" in my experience usually means you're not leading the conversation well enough. She's trying to find some way to keep the conversation going, so she decides to effectively ask you whatever you just asked her... But in a weak way.

If you run the conversation well enough (i.e., active listening), she'll never have the chance to ask what about you, often because you'll already have moved off that initial starter topic in a way it doesn't make sense for her to ask you this by the time she hits a break in the conversation.

If you're getting it quickly, sometimes it's an effort to prevent deep diving, yes. Both the girl and the guy feel more connected when the girl talks about herself, so this is sometimes a not-so-subtle way of putting the spotlight on you to say, in essence, "I am done talking about myself; this connection goes no further." If you're having it happen later into interactions, it may mean you're missing escalation windows and girls are auto-rejecting (or, alternately, just deciding this isn't going anywhere and trying to make their exits).

Chase

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/17hjx7w

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

Introduction to Approach Invites/Warm approach (Featuring Corvette aka Illuminatus) - The Skills Method

I quote in my book, posts and in my blog tons of good seducers, why? Cause I do not have a big ego, I put your getting good with women over my originality. This post by a guru named corvette aka Illuminatus is one of the best posts I have ever read and will make

www.theskillsmethod.com

Introduction to Approach Invites/Warm approach (Featuring Corvette aka Illuminatus) - The Skills Method

I quote in my book, posts and in my blog tons of good seducers, why? Cause I do not have a big ego, I put your getting good with women over my originality. This post by a guru named corvette aka Illuminatus is one of the best posts I have ever read and will make

www.theskillsmethod.com

useful note I wanted to keep from Ratata in another journal


Let's start with the bad news. The first 1000 approaches do not count. I mean, they do, but not like you think. You should not mass approach, in my opinion, unless you're trying to build social momentum (and I'm not saying that you do). You should journal, and think that each one counts, although it really doesn't (this is what it seems like you are doing - and that is good! If you learn from it...).

You'll ask yourself questions, and men will try to answer them, and you still won't understand. For at least 1000 more approaches...

That... is your hero's journey.

But!

Congratulations on going out there and braving reality!

Some men are climbing mountains. Some try to go barefoot to the North Pole.

You... You approach hot girls on the street, to prove that you can defeat yourself in battle.

A toast! For thy bravery, good Sir! You are facing a challenge worthy of Odysseus (go see it, it's good - I mean, imagine being such a chad that a woman would wait 20 years only for you!)

Once you have 1000 approaches under your belt - 1000 approaches that never counted - you will (hopefully) have learned some patterns that you easily recognized. (Fair warning, you may also have learned some bad habits that you need to unlearn however, so it doesn't really stop at 1000...) But that's when approaches start to count. Normally. For some it's 10000 sigh... But I hope for you, it's 1000 or less.

What I'm saying here, is that you've intentionally made this very hard for yourself. There may be easier ways.

From my vantage point, it looks like you're begging on the street. If you're well dressed, and charming, it might stop a girl, and make her interested for a moment. But the second she sees that you're actually insecure, that you're actually there to sell something, and it's not mutual, then she will dismiss you. Then you are trash. Then you are a tryhard. A beggar. And someone she needs to reject.

A small test you can make for yourself:

Next time a beggar comes up to you, and asks you for something: What do you feel? Note it down.
Next time someone approaches you and wants to sell you some trash: What do you feel? What do you want to do to that person? Note it down. And learn from it.

Don't be a beggar. Be the one who just wears a Rolex, while driving a Ferrari. Not literally, but figuratively. You have something they want. You don't even need to flaunt it. You can just associate with it. And they want it. So you no longer need to try.

But keep approaching. Keep learning. And keep putting yourself out there.

 

[TimeMachineDAD]

9/23/26. Impacts of growing physique. (only general life updates// no cold approaches)

Time is flying man. I haven't been approaching (probably won't until I'm done w/ classes) but I've been seeing subtle differences.

I force myself to workout every day and I'm progressing very well on my compound lifts very linearly. I switched up my programming from maxing out every set I can to a powerlifter's program. I'm not trying to be a powerlifter, but I'm taking how they strategize their plans. Basically you warm up linearly up to the weight you can max out at for 2-3 reps. You do 1-2 sets then go down about 20% and do about 4-6 sets of 5-8 reps while leaving some reps in the gas tank. This kind of changed the game for me. I was trying to max out every single day going hard and I would be left with no energy. Just exhausted. But I kept going. I went almost every day for the last 2-3 months without a fail. I finally took the past weekend off from lifting and slept in to let my body recover and adapting my program. After changing the program, my overall energy levels are better. Lifts are going up pretty good.

I also started noticing subtle ioi's I haven't really seen in a while. Girls check you out very subtly. When we're walking past each other, they're looking forward. But if I'm also looking forward, they'll try to check me out at the very last second before we cross each other. Idk where I built this habit up but it's kind of like an intuition thing where i'll be walking zoned out but catch em at the last second. For instance I was walking from class to somewhere and this girl (probably like 20-22) looked at me last second and I non-chanlantly looked back at the last second as a gut feeling. I saw her eyes widen a little bit cause she got 'caught' and quickly turned her eye sight forward while walking away. And girls in general are also more 'reserved' or a bit 'neutral/aloof' ish but when I ask for compliance, it's very good. The only thing that really changed about me so far is my physique (and one can argue my internal confidence as well which could translate to my vibe). I wear very loose shirts but because I work out my upper chest/back/shoulder width, those subtly show up right below my face through the 'loose shirts' and I think it's very good in terms of body language as well. In terms of game, standing at 45 degrees while talking to her, she sees my side profile which is comprised of (rear delts + shoulders + arms + upper chest) it boosts something in the vibe to where if she was neutral, it would be neutral + 1 or 2.

Girls in general are also way more feminine. I feel like I get a bit of more hostility from fat girls (lol). But I've also noticed like average girls tend to be more reserved + cute girls tend to be more feminine around me being cutesy etc. This is just from pure presence and meeting her the first time via class or work. Physique really adds some good points. Once I get my money straight + have my style back/get my life together, I think I might even do better than when I was younger.

Anyway, that's it for now.

Edit:// Pretty relevant articles on your physique growing.

What every skinny guy should know...

Smart, fun, and interesting. So why is it that all the beautiful women always seem out of your grasp? Why!? You may even be athletic. You can do karate, can run super fast around the track, along with other things. So why does it seem you can get the average to cute girls but the very...

www.sosuave.net

From the article: "I know many of you guys are saying the same thing, “I get beautiful women too and I am skinny!” But the thing is, all these examples here is based on attraction on the body alone. I am NOT working to get these women. My body is doing 99% of the attracting. I can just be a statue and get a response. (But of course, you have to take action. This is based on doing zilch.)

Rather than work hard to get one woman, why not work hard on yourself and get all the women? I don’t work hard to get women, I work hard on my dreams which gets the women automatically."



(extra fluff i want to remember for later:
Lawliet-

"What about you?" in my experience usually means you're not leading the conversation well enough. She's trying to find some way to keep the conversation going, so she decides to effectively ask you whatever you just asked her... But in a weak way.

If you run the conversation well enough (i.e., active listening), she'll never have the chance to ask what about you, often because you'll already have moved off that initial starter topic in a way it doesn't make sense for her to ask you this by the time she hits a break in the conversation.

If you're getting it quickly, sometimes it's an effort to prevent deep diving, yes. Both the girl and the guy feel more connected when the girl talks about herself, so this is sometimes a not-so-subtle way of putting the spotlight on you to say, in essence, "I am done talking about myself; this connection goes no further." If you're having it happen later into interactions, it may mean you're missing escalation windows and girls are auto-rejecting (or, alternately, just deciding this isn't going anywhere and trying to make their exits).

Chase

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/17hjx7w

Yep, it's pretty addicting when you actually start getting second looks. Especially when it's totally new experience for you. Remember that it's at least 50% because of your vibe, not completely about your guns.

1. Keep your outcome independence. I have honestly fished for that kind of attention and it's really weak.
2. This attention is of zero value if you don't act on it.
3. No worries, you'll get used to it

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

@TimeMachineDAD appreciate you bro. What's been the biggest differences for you in terms of game before being muscular and getting a good physique?

 

[TimeMachineDAD]

@TimeMachineDAD appreciate you bro. What's been the biggest differences for you in terms of game before being muscular and getting a good physique?

Sorry, no idea, because I had lifted for awhile for before stumbling to ASF and later mASF and never stopped lifting. Basically I have never been under 210lbs at ~6'1" for the two and half decades. And most of this time I have been in LTR, so no f-closing. Reason to join forum was this: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/how-to-teach-a-son-to-be-good-with-women.32214/

BUT, I have been fat fuck (focused on powerlifting) and in decent shape ( sub 10%bf) over the two and half decades.
High muscle mass combined with leannes absolutely gets most looks. Leanness just makes your face look so much better and with higher muscle mass that look is pretty good, because there is muscle in your face too.

To put it simply you get much more attention and surface level attraction, when you are hot.

Worst part in my experience is that if you are actually clueless the disconnect and disapointment can be crazy, because she expects hot player and meets an afc. Honestly that disappointed used to be sometimes disheartening.

So you will get free attraction, but basic social skills are still must. Since you don't have to usually run that hard attraction game, you have room for more warmth and just playfullness. This is the part I personally like, you can simply be warm, social, build up kino and focus on logistics instead.
Also qualifying chick was really powerfull for managing attainability. Basically when you are in conversation getting to know her, find something about her that you really like and let her clearly know that. "Oh, you are into martial arts? How absolutely cool is that! Where do you train?"

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

So you will get free attraction, but basic social skills are still must. Since you don't have to usually run that hard attraction game, you have room for more warmth and just playfullness. This is the part I personally like, you can simply be warm, social, build up kino and focus on logistics instead.
Also qualifying chick was really powerfull for managing attainability. Basically when you are in conversation getting to know her, find something about her that you really like and let her clearly know that. "Oh, you are into martial arts? How absolutely cool is that! Where do you train?"

This is actually on point and parallels with what I've experienced. I'm very warm and playful but when I was skinny-fat + plain clothes , it just didn't hit. Most of the reactions to me playful for very lukewarm.

But the difference is start as I'm getting bigger, girls respond very positively to the warm + playful persona I have. And you can decrease the attraction part of the game (or arousal). Interesting point. Thanks!

 

[TimeMachineDAD]

And you can decrease the attraction part of the game (or arousal). Interesting point. Thanks!

Of course with calibration.
Btw James Tusk has lots and lots of infield footage and he is someone who is built and good looking.

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

10/1/26. General Reflections. (These days I have almost 0 time to go out cold approaching so until this semester is over, it'll be reflection of what interactions I do have)

Man, I just had a realization. I 'judged' girls a lot in a negative sense. For example, I was at this fashion event before and met this beautiful caucasian girl. She was obviously interested and was telling me about her travels. I looked at her instagram and saw it was the most typical travel spots like Paris, London, Etc. I've been to those places, but at that time, I was all about traveling to spots that aren't visited frequently. When I asked her what she liked about her travels, she told me 'their culture'.

I remember thinking 'wtf does that even mean' and just translated it to 'I'm just looking for men in those countries' or 'Idk I just do it cause everyone else does it' and made this judgmental look without even thinking about it. I tried to move the conversation on, but the convo died right then and there.

Just few interactions

Classmate

I still have this problem. I was talking to a girl classmate about the nursing pathways we're taking. We both graduated a top undergrad in the states and now she's going for a top nursing program w/ name prestige. Me on the other hand is shooting for a program based on length (shortest time) and low tuition. When she mentioned that she's looking to go to X (Harvard type) for a nursing program, I kind of gave this look of judgement. My first instinct was why? Second instinct was why pay all that money just for the prestige? Cause in the field of nursing (Medical schools prestige matter for their specialty), no one really cares where you got your degree. It might matter if you're looking to go into advanced nursing (like NP or etc) but anyways, that's besides the point. I was thinking why rack up 100k debt to get a job that we're gonna get paid same in?

That was my thought process and it reflected in the convo.

Me: so what are you in the class for?
Her: I'm planning do to advanced nursing pathways (master's or above+)
Me: Oh really? where at?
Her: Hopefully an Ivy league program.
Me: Interesting. Is the name prestige good for nursing? (it's gonna take her 3 years + 6 figure debt)
Her: I think it just depends on what field of nursing you wanna go to. (from what she's telling me, I can sense she's just doing it for the prestige)
Me: Ohh I see. (kind of gave a judgemental vibe like, huh?)
Her: Yeah I'm taking like 5-6 classes right now to hurry up and apply for this program.
Me: You sound just like all my peers that was in undergrad. (continuing the judgement vibe)
Her really?
Me: yeah 'omg im taking 10 classes this semester. yeah me too! im taking 11." (I kind of joke but sounded little sarcastic and I catch myself) but I respect it. That's what it takes.
Her: (Smiles a little bit)

I don't really have time to deep dive as I get off the bus in one stop and it's about 2-3 minute convo. It's kind of funny how we started interacting though. I didn't know her but asked for an answer for one of the tests we were taking. She wrote me the answer on a paper and slid it to me while taking a pop quiz. And so I helped her out the next time by giving her a quiz question then we finally talked when we got on the bus at the same time. But the main point is, I need to stop being negative or judgemental. If I am, I just need to be more curious + end on a positive note and keep the positive to negative ratio of the convo balanced. Another helpful thing would be to have a conversation that's pattern interrupting. Everyone in class talks about oh what degree -> what job -> blah blah blah. I need to get out of that convo (that people have 20x) and provide something new that makes me stand out. I got her number but I know I didn't have any impact on that.

Classmate 2:
hmm... we start texting about class related stuff. She takes an exam and sends me pictures of the exam (lol) via text. It's like 10 pages and she proceeds to put it into doc form when she noticed the pictures doesn't upload. My point is this is a huge investment from her end. But is this her just being a good classmate? or investment due to attraction? Idk I'm kind of cautious in classroom settings cause one wrong move could get me in some stupid shit. So i play safe. For now.

I arrive in class, sitting on a second row. There's empty seats next to me. She arrives. I half-expect her to sit next to me. But she sees me and goes to the other side of the room. (hmm interesting. maybe she's just being friendly)

I get partnered with a guy and have to sit in front of her during the experiments. I sit down but she doesn't really say hi or turn to acknowledge me so I just do the same. (weird) I continue with the experiments without talking to her. Then as we're grabbing equipment, she's walking towards my path. She looks up at me, giggles, acts girly shy, and continues. (Okay maybe she's just being shy. she is young). Then we take a quiz after. She finishes up w/ her partner first. She walks by my desk and tells me "check your phone" me: "now?" her: yes now. She texted me saying since she finished first, wait for her to leave and she'll text me what the quiz was about. Granted I did this for her before and she texted me saying next time she's gonna do it for me. So is this a compliance thing or she's just returning the favor? idk. It's a weird one. I don't really like making moves on classmate/co-worker environments unless I know for sure it won't make it weird. TBC.

Things to work on: - Be non-judgemental. If I am negative, make sure it's something that's true so that it's a bit funny I'm pointing out + end things on a positive note.
- Work on lifestyle that's different so that you have different conversational topics

Co-worker -

I come into my work late after running around all day w/ my head cut-off. I call her ahead and tell her I'm running late. She responds and is upbeat "Okkkkk".

I've been kind of been neutral with her because my co-worker (a good guy) was going after her. He shot his shot and asked her out to eat somewhere and she kind of side stepped by saying she's a lesbian. (idk if that's true). Regardless, he hasn't really updated me on it so I'm guessing nothing really happened.

Now when I'm switching shifts with her, she always inserts this burst of 'feminine cuteness' into our interaction. Examples: I come in - "Hiiiiiii" (uppitched voice) and then when she's trying to leave after I come in, the door closes before she slides through without her having to open it she makes this 'dramatic pout' and go nooooo my life is over. (just being silly and cute) and then kind of looks at me to which I roll my eyes at her playfully and say 'youre so silly'. Tons of this stuff over and over where she's being girly-cutesy. I stayed neutral the whole time to give my co-worker to try his thing + trying not to get with a co-worker rule (i haven't broken it yet).

So the other day, I arrive late. I was thinking she would wanna go home asap since it's near the end of her shift. Instead she's slow to move etc. She tells me a customer left some food and I should eat it. I ask her you didn't like their food? To which she does this cute thing where she stands on one leg while peering over at me and says 'mmm idk. i dont wanna be a food thief' (giggles) to which I just playfully tease her. I ask if there's any messages for me to know about before she leaves, and she says noooo not really, same old same old. (usually this is where people would say have a good night and leave) but instead she asks randomly if I wanna see her paintings that she drew. Ofc I say yes and she pulls out her literal art painting (lol). As I look through it, I'm genuinely shocked by how good her paintings are. I naturally "gasp" and say 'omg, i didn't know you could draw like this. I'm impressed!' and she's looking at her phone but she lights up and smiles to herself while looking at her phone. Then she continues showing me her other work and where she got her inspirations from etc. She goes isn't this sooo cute? To which I kind of pattern interrupt it and say 'YOURE cuter'. She kind of gets quiet and shyly looking at her phone sliding through her pictures. Then the phone starts to ring and I hand wave her to go catch her bus so she's not late. TBC.

On the way to work

I spot this hispanic girl sitting down waiting for the next bus. I get to the bus stop, position myself in front of her (unknowingly) and the ETA sign says - machine broken. I walk up to the girl. She looks up as if she was expecting me to talk to her. I ask her bout the bus. She says something and vibe says she's completely open to being opened. We start to talk. I find out she just turned 18. I eject. Lol

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[AspiringStoic]

Hey @poweroverwhelming9010

Went through your journal.

I see you are doing a major life rebuild in multiple areas. Props on that. Takes a lot of courage.

I also see that you have almost 6 pages of your journal and quite lengthy posts analysing interactions with co-workers, classmates etc.

Hugging the Polish girl with a boyfriend, many she "ignored" me but then said this and then did that and therefore I conclude that it was this etc kind of posts.

That is a lot of time and mental investment which is mostly unproductive because you cannot take it to its logical conclusion. And even if you can, WOULD YOU WANT TO?


Because the only sure fire way to tell if x or y girl likes you or is sexually open to you, is to try and fuck her!!

If you succeed, you have your final incontrovertible proof, if you don't, you have data to work with depending on where things went south, what the issue might have been.

Since you cannot do that with co-workers and classmates (presuming your work and studies are important to you and you dont want to fuck things up) its not much use spending so much time and energy analysing or writing about these things.

Instead, take just 5-10 mins of your day and do a cold approach. Approaching a girl who is a complete stranger and where there are no consequences to how the interaction goes.

Even if you get DOWNRIGHT IGNORED or get a 20 sec interaction, it will help you grow more than these interactions with co-workers and classmates.

And taking that 5-10 mins per day and doing at least 1 cold approach/day will provide you the perfect base from which to launch your cold approach blitz you plan to do next year that you have mentioned.

That is just my 2 cents.

All the best on your journey!

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

@AspiringStoic Yessir very good points. I plan getting back to cold approaching very soon. I can def do an hour a day (probably the maximum I can do for now). I need to do that instead of all these mental gymnastics about the class/coworker situations. Appreciate you.

 

[AspiringStoic]

@AspiringStoic Yessir very good points. I plan getting back to cold approaching very soon. I can def do an hour a day (probably the maximum I can do for now). I need to do that instead of all these mental gymnastics about the class/coworker situations. Appreciate you.

Start with a very small goal like 1 approach/day or giving yourself a 10 minute window in which you will attempt an approach if not you come back and try the next day.

You can give yourself the OPTION to do more approaches after the first one is done or to extend the time window while you are out and the 10 mins are done.

But the brain is a funny object. It can trick you and tell you, you cannot approach today cause you dont have 1 hour but if your goal is super small it is hard for your brain to stop you and convince you that you dont have time for 1 approach or 10 mins.

And once you have started, the same brain will whisper to you that now that you are here, I guess you can do another one or be out for some more time.

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

But the brain is a funny object. It can trick you and tell you, you cannot approach today cause you dont have 1 hour but if your goal is super small it is hard for your brain to stop you and convince you that you dont have time for 1 approach or 10 mins.

Kind of. It's cause my schedule for my weekdays are jam packed from 1pm to 7am. (1pm - 9pm classes all day then I go straight to gym + work over night 11pm - 7am) and then weekends I spend my time catching up on sleep then work overnight + repeat. But I'm sure I can find an hour in there somewhere.

Regardless, appreciate your advice. I'll start back small.

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[poweroverwhelming9010]

10/1/26 -

I get off my night class and take the night commute to work. Between the stops (around 10:30pm), there's a family arguing about which way to go. "No this way's X, no I think it's that way". I notice a daughter around 25-27 and their parents arguing. I eventually inject that it's that way and the dad is saying it' so confusing why the train is labeled destination X but it's actually going to Y. And I just say yeah welcome to america. And they all just laugh.

I sit down and the daughter next to me, obviously open to being opened. But idk, with the parents being there I didn't open. Need to brush up on that part a bit. Also a lot of questions will come up related to what I do (im wearing a suit) and I'm not really the most proud of my current transitional job. Things to think about and work on.

- how to approach girls with families around
- how to answer questions about my current situation (35 years old + transitioning to new career field)

 

[Jamster]

[snip]

. But the main point is, I need to stop being negative or judgemental. If I am, I just need to be more curious + end on a positive note and keep the positive to negative ratio of the convo balanced. Another helpful thing would be to have a conversation that's pattern interrupting. Everyone in class talks about oh what degree -> what job -> blah blah blah. I need to get out of that convo (that people have 20x) and provide something new that makes me stand out.

OK.

I put that excerpt first, because it shows you are moving to a better orientation to bonding with your colleages. On the philosophic level, you know the issues

Fixing them? Different, but you see where you want to go and are moving there.

[snip]

Classmate

I still have this problem. I was talking to a girl classmate about the nursing pathways we're taking. We both graduated a top undergrad in the states and now she's going for a top nursing program w/ name prestige. Me on the other hand is shooting for a program based on length (shortest time) and low tuition. When she mentioned that she's looking to go to X (Harvard type) for a nursing program, I kind of gave this look of judgement. My first instinct was why? Second instinct was why pay all that money just for the prestige? Cause in the field of nursing (Medical schools prestige matter for their specialty), no one really cares where you got your degree. It might matter if you're looking to go into advanced nursing (like NP or etc) but anyways, that's besides the point. I was thinking why rack up 100k debt to get a job that we're gonna get paid same in?

That was my thought process and it reflected in the convo.

Me: so what are you in the class for?
Her: I'm planning do to advanced nursing pathways (master's or above+)
Me: Oh really? where at?
Her: Hopefully an Ivy league program.
Me: Interesting. Is the name prestige good for nursing? (it's gonna take her 3 years + 6 figure debt)
Her: I think it just depends on what field of nursing you wanna go to. (from what she's telling me, I can sense she's just doing it for the prestige)
Me: Ohh I see. (kind of gave a judgemental vibe like, huh?)
Her: Yeah I'm taking like 5-6 classes right now to hurry up and apply for this program.
Me: You sound just like all my peers that was in undergrad. (continuing the judgement vibe)
Her really?
Me: yeah 'omg im taking 10 classes this semester. yeah me too! im taking 11." (I kind of joke but sounded little sarcastic and I catch myself) but I respect it. That's what it takes.
Her: (Smiles a little bit)

THIS just puzzled the hell out of me. I mean, even if you were right, it's too judgy.

But I've worked on a tiny part of CRNA (Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist) training. It isn't easy getting in the program I worked with.

I haven't gone over the entry stats for SRNAs (Student RNAs) , so I'm just taking a guess. But it is an educated guess.

SRNA admissions: Prestige will help there. Impress profs at Ivy X? A smoother road to acceptance.

"Shooting for a program based on length?" Maybe not.

Maybe she can get away with a B or even two B's. (Jamster shakes his sorry old GPA 2.5 head.)

Then in my day - and likely now, too - to apply to become an SRNA, you needed two years work (well paying work) in a critical care environment. Two years. I dunno, but I'm thinking a prestige school helps finding that.

You mentioned before wanting to do some kind of Advanced Nursing Pathway? Good goal. Different ways of achieving it and I'm not suggesting the Nursing School you chose couldn't go that way.

But that fucking "Y" branded on her chest means something.

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

OK.

I put that excerpt first, because it shows you are moving to a better orientation to bonding with your colleages. On the philosophic level, you know the issues

Fixing them? Different, but you see where you want to go and are moving there.





THIS just puzzled the hell out of me. I mean, even if you were right, it's too judgy.

But I've worked on a tiny part of CRNA (Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist) training. It isn't easy getting in the program I worked with.

I haven't gone over the entry stats for SRNAs (Student RNAs) , so I'm just taking a guess. But it is an educated guess.

SRNA admissions: Prestige will help there. Impress profs at Ivy X? A smoother road to acceptance.

"Shooting for a program based on length?" Maybe not.

Maybe she can get away with a B or even two B's. (Jamster shakes his soory old GPA 2.5 head.)

Then in my day - and likely now, too - to apply to become an SRNA, you needed two years work (well paying work) in a critical care environment. Two years. I dunno, but I'm thinking a prestige school helps finding that.

You mentioned before wanting to do some kind of Advanced Nursing Pathway? Good goal. Different ways of achieving it and I'm not suggesting the Nursing School you chose couldn't go that way.

But that fucking "Y" branded on her chest means something.

Your point for SRNA admissions is true yes. But HER goal isn't to become a CRNA, she stated her goal is to be a nurse (doesn't know what nurse exactly either) and she just wants to stay a nurse. So the judgement (which I shouldn't have) came from her reasoning for choosing the path of prestige + 6 figure debt + 3 years to become a nurse through a graduate program. Like why? You can graduate in 1 year and use those 2 years to build up your experiential resume as a nurse. A friend of mine got a degree from a no prestige nursing program but she built up her experiences for 2.5 -3 years and now getting paid GOOD money as a charge nurse (250K+)

On top of that, if she wants to go to a graduate program, she should do it because she wants to become NP/CRNA not to become a nurse. To me that doesn't make sense either. Why go 3 years + 6 figure debt to become a nurse? You could literally get the same degree for 1 year + gain 2 years of relevant experience + go for leadership roles.

So this is the source of my judgement, I can articulate now that I'm thinking it through, although in that moment it's few seconds.

As far as your other points about CRNA, prestige is one factor. For example, if I applied to a med school, there's variety of factors they count for. In order your GPA/MCAT scores, how much experience you have in a hospital setting, letters of recommendations, than your extra achievements like research publications, what school you went to, etc. What school you went to gives you a +1 in admissions.

Now would I wanna go to some shitty ass CRNA school? Probably not. But MY goal as a CRNA is to get into a CRNA school that trains you to be independent so that I can work whether I work under a MD or not. So if you look at Duke university for CRNA's, it's actually horrible for that goal. Why? Duke also has a MD program. Hence every complicated procedure gets sent to the MD residents while the CRNA's don't get much of priority. So my goal is mid-tier CRNA schools without MD/DO programs (close to the programs I'm shooting for) but known for giving CRNA's complex procedures in order to train the independent model.

My point is, these years I'm spending on education, I'm not just going "oh i wanna get into X school because it's DUKE or BAYLOR or whatever prestigious program', it's multitude of reasons. But when I meet someone that's like oh I wanna go to "HARVARD" my first thought is why? cause it's harvard? okay but is the name the only reason? Then I do some digging and it's like okay, so youre thought process is 'I want prestige'. And my judgements begin like you cant be serious? You might ask me can you even get into Harvard? IDK. But I did get into one of the most prestigious undergrad college in the world full ride scholarship. So I wouldn't even have done it if I didn't get a full ride.

But are these thought processes helpful for seduction? probably not.

Also I appreciate your response. It made me think about where the source of my condescension or judgements are coming from. I can tackle that head on.

 

[Jamster]

Look, I'm just saying - her goals might be totally sensible, even if they are different than the rational goals you have for yourself.

[snip]
. But HER goal isn't to become a CRNA, she stated her goal is to be a nurse (doesn't know what nurse exactly either) and she just wants to stay a nurse.

Me: so what are you in the class for?
Her: I'm planning do to advanced nursing pathways (master's or above+)
Me: Oh really? where at?
Her: Hopefully an Ivy league program.

Have I conflated two different classmates?

Or do you have to always win a dick measuring contest? Even against my old, tiny, soft private parts?

.

 

[poweroverwhelming9010]

Look, I'm just saying - her goals might be totally sensible, even if they are different than the rational goals you have for yourself.





Have I conflated two different classmates?

Or do you have to always win a dick measuring contest? Even against my old, tiny, soft private parts?

.

I guess my reply came off hostile like I'm trying to argue, which wasn't my intention. No, I wasn't trying to have any sort of contest with you. lol Your reply kind of helped bring out my thought process out (which was the point) although it sounded like I was opposing you. My bad

Regardless I think we're both getting to the same conclusion, this condescension isn't helping when it comes to seduction (as I admitted is something I need to work on).

After jotting down that thought process down, what I thought was, there's no need for you to judge how she made her life choices because some people will also think you becoming a CRNA/nurse is a dumbass choice. Instead of judging, learn to spot things I can appreciate about it. It's something I def need to work on.

IVLVS Field Journal

Wanted to post an update since I'm supposedly meeting a 22-year-old girl next Sunday. We matched on Tinder, talked for a bit, she asked for my number, and we've been texting since. I asked her out last week, but I guess she was busy because we never managed to lock down a date. Then, out of...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Jamster]

Yeah, my response was ego-driven, too. Something we see too much of on this board.

In nursing, most of the people involved will have a WAY different orientation from you, on a lot of things.

.