FR  A Night of Premature Ejection

Chrance

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 3, 2020
Messages
330
Location
Your Dreams
Started the night at a dance club with a quick open: “Hey, do you guys know when this bar closes?” The girl (who I was not attracted too) got a little too ecstatic with the question and later on began following me around. But anyway, it got me talking and moving.

Opening the second set with: “Yo, how are you guys doing?” this was another intentional warm up approach, since it had been a couple minutes since I talked to that first girl. I joked around about the music, then decided to leave. Neither girl interested me very much.

Now I was ready to talk to those girls that actually mattered to me. It took me a long time however (about 20 minutes). I finally approached a group of three that were dancing on the dance floor. My dance floor skills are not the best. I opened with: “I like your dance moves. They’re pretty cool. How are you doing?” they kept dancing and I was moving my body a little bit as well. She responded with “pretty good” and we chatted a little, exchanged names, basic stuff. I turned to her friend, asked her how she was doing and her name, then I teased her third friend saying “You look really tough” which she laughed at. I got her name as well. At this point I had no clue what to do since they were all dancing and weren’t contributing anything. However, they were accepting of me talking to them and I knew instinctually that this was a solid set. I didn’t get any “get away from us” vibes. But at the same time, I had no idea what else to talk about since the girl I had first approached seemed shy. So stupidly, feeling self-conscious, I decided to leave. So I left. Damn.

I approached two more groups pretty weakly, but I didn’t get any severe blowouts or anything. I did however get this self-conscious feeling like the preivous 3-set, so I ended up ejecting prematurely. This was the theme for the night I – premature ejection and self-consciousness.

Since I had talked to all the girls that interested me at this club, I left to another one immediately in order to not waste my time.

At the second club there was a group of three girls, very similar to the first 3-set of tonight. I was dancing on the dance floor, doing my thing. The three girls rolled up by me, one of which was a real babe. So I opened her:

Me: “Yo, I really dig your hair style. It’s cool.”
Her: “Thanks!”

Her response was positive, but I was feeling self-conscious again all of sudden, so I pulled away to think. After a second, I turned back and asked her a teasing question regarding her style and ethnicity. She responded positively, then mentioned she worked at a club nearby.

Me: “Club X? I went there on new years.”
Her: “At the Y show?”
Me: “Yea”
Her: “Do you have an instagram?”
Me: “No” [pretty bluntly]
Her: “Oh”

Here I had no clue what to do. I think I lacked a certain mental aggression tonight to keep me going when the sets aren’t thrown into my lap. So I stupidly turned back to myself, danced, then left. Now while writing this I feel a lot of regret. When I came back from the restroom they were gone.

At this point I called it a night and went home.

What blew about tonight was I could approach 3-sets fine, but once the whole weight of the conversation was thrown on my shoulders, I locked up, and got stuck in my head (mid-set!). It was like AA but post-open-anxiety. Also, the sets could have turned more my way if it wasn’t for my incompetence, so I was disappointed in myself for having (1) wasted a great opportunity with several babes and (2) not doing as well as I know I could have.

Although one slight improvement was that I actually approached two active 3-sets very confidently, which I don’t do too often (usually two sets, or a girl who is lingering by a group of friends, or a three set where I’ll just dive in and dance with the girl without acknowledging her friends). Groups of three where I really need to engage all three - these are still pretty intimidating to me, especially when I get this feeling that I’ll be carrying the whole weight of the conversation, all three of them staring at me blankly, waiting for me to say something cool. This kind of pressure gets into my head.

I had several routines in mind, but I didn’t use any of them, which was a fuck up as well; probably would have helped me climb out of the self-consciousness.

N.B.
In both of these 3-sets, dancing could have been appropriate. I generally just do the bare minimum with dancing (spin her around, grind from behind). I actually don’t know how significant dancing is to seduction – what is its role? – but I may make a post on that.
 

Velasco

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
1,059
I opened with: “I like your dance moves. They’re pretty cool. How are you doing?” they kept dancing and I was moving my body a little bit as well. She responded with “pretty good” and we chatted a little, exchanged names, basic stuff. I turned to her friend, asked her how she was doing and her name, then I teased her third friend saying “You look really tough” which she laughed at. I got her name as well. At this point I had no clue what to do since they were all dancing and weren’t contributing anything. However, they were accepting of me talking to them and I knew instinctually that this was a solid set. I didn’t get any “get away from us” vibes. But at the same time, I had no idea what else to talk about since the girl I had first approached seemed shy. So stupidly, feeling self-conscious, I decided to leave. So I left. Damn.

Talk to the most receptive one of the group. which in the case, might be ThirdFriend. Just don't put your hands up on her, or ShyGirl, might think you're actually interested in ThirdFriend. As she warms up to you, talk about ShyGirl with ThirdFriend, "so what's ShyGirl's story? yeah she's a good dancer but she looks a bit shy haha".

As you talk with ThirdFriend, ShyGirl will be able to see that your cool, because ThirdFriend likes you/not telling you to fuck off. So that when you reapproach ShyGirl, she may be more receptive than just giving you the bare minimum to work with.

Now reopen ShyGirl with a tease, while smiling, "Hey ShyGirl, ThirdFriend was just telling me some really embarrassing shit about you. I hope its not true" (bait). Then, when she takes the bait, use that as leverage to isolate her, "I wanna get a drink first. Come with me for a sec, and I'll tell you" Then turn to ThirdFriend, "hey ShyGirl, wants to get a drink. We'll be right back" (because she likes you, and the fact that you said ShyGirl wants to, instead of you, she'll let you. She's got SecondGirl to keep her company on the dance floor). Then lead her to the bar. Now that you've got her isolated, run your routines.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
Get more comfortable with dancing, you had higher odds with dancing in all of those situation.... i was last night with a 3 set dancing and had my pick of the 3...then after hook up and investment you can isolate...
 
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