A Post on Sexual Framing and Creating Vibe

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
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Mar 1, 2013
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More on Sexual Framing and using it as a Beginner

Between Zphix and I, we had quite a few people asking how to start sexual framing in their conversations. So on this, I'd like to expand more on using sexual framing/sex talk as a beginner.

If you haven't already, here's a list of articles and posts to discuss the role of sex in conversation -

- How to Use Sex Talk to Set a Sexual Tone and Mood
- How to Use the Sexual Frame to Turn Women On
- Sexual Tension: 7 Ways to Make Women Excited and Randy
- Secrets to Getting Girls: Chase Framing
- The 9 Secrets to Being a Sexual Man

(As a side note: Verbals are not the only way to increase sexual tension. Tension can be created via non-verbals and "vibe"; this is simply another technique for your toolbox.)

So this here post isn't about why to use the frame, since there are so many resources on that around here. The aim is more of a nudge to push past limiting beliefs and to start using frames.

How to start using sexual framing when you've never done it before

As we discussed in Push Past Beginner and Start Getting Results, there are certain Comfort Zone Walls we must overcome for each new step in a seduction process. So, example: Bantering is a different skill than building rapport, and involves hopping over different Comfort Zone Walls to learn. If you've never learned how to banter before, the process of learning it can be an intimidating process! You can no longer be that "super friendly guy" you were before, and you ask yourself "what if the girl no longer likes me after I say it?" or "doesn't she get terribly offended by jokes like that??" Somehow you find the courage to forge ahead and learn...and with a little calibration... MAN, girls are responding so much better to you!

It's the exact same learning curve and results with sexual framing/sex talk!

So if you're meeting new women regularly, you've improved your repartee/rapport skills, and girls are hooking into your conversation (each one of those is an important prerequisite!) BUT you're not getting results or a lot of flaky numbers, try this:

Next time you're out, make a sexual frame within 2 minutes of every girl you cold approach. This is some homework, so just try it with at least 3 girls next time you're out. And here's the deal: If it feels weird, good, forced, or WHATEVER, you MUST say it. You'll find that with each new girl you attempt to use this with, you're calibration becomes more finely tuned, and the frames become really smooth/easy to think of.

If you think it will help, think of a few sexual frames that'll apply generically to any conversation before you head out, just make sure you do it! ;)

I pretty much let Jake run his course with sexual framing, he's thrown together a lot of useful information, from here on out, it's time to talk vibe!

VIBE!
Over the past few days, and starting about 2 weeks ago, I've been getting PMs like crazy! It's nice to have your opinion wanted and your advice sought, but I figured I'd tackle this monstrosity for the majority of you. The two biggest pieces I've been getting PMs about have been sexual framing, and how to create a vibe. Jake did his thing with sexual framing, now I'll do mine with vibe.

Currently, everybody has a vibe, or aura if you will.

Think of a few famous actors: Bruce Lee, Sean Connery, and Kevin Hart. All of them very attractive to women, right?

Each of them has a different vibe they give off... take a crack at them...

Bruce Lee is dynamic and bad-ass! Sean Connery is smooth! Kevin Hart is funny, and easy-going!

You,too, have a current vibe that you give off, and it changes with the situation you're in. With family you're probably relaxed and cracking jokes, with the "guys" you're probably discussing women and doing guy shit! with women you might be funny, might be a charmer, might be mellow and warm ( I am), you might be nervous as all hell! (I was)

Before you decided to effectively change your vibe, it's best to master one you have now. The natural you in one way or another is probably going to be attractive to women in one way or another. I've always been a mellow, easy-going, and warm person and because of that it's easy to put people at ease, easy to open people up, and people feel comfortable around me. I never had to work on that with family and friends, but did have to get myself to be that way with women.

Should you decide that you want to "construct" a new vibe. You can go about it a few ways, you can:
-Internalize a mindset
-Model yourself after someone
-Tweak your conscious gestures until they become habitual

INTERNALIZE A MINDSET
Pretty self-explanatory here. You can develop any kind of mindset you want, it could be an abundance mentality, could be that you're perceived as sexy, could be that you're a mellow fella who is laid back in a sexy way. Whatever you wish to be, tell yourself that you are that way, and internalize that thought or belief because it will show up in your body language, and will give you an air of confidence to you.

MODEL YOURSELF AFTER SOMEONE
This one also pretty self-explanatory. I first picked this idea up from our beloved Light. Anyway, choose someone you aspire to be like, not just with women but in general. Who is someone who has reached a dream that you have, who is someone that has already walked the path that you are walking?

Pick that person, and model yourself after him or her. How do they walk, or breathe, or speak, or carry themselves? What did they do to get where they are? Movement speed, tone of voice, speed of speaking?

The problem with this is, you'll want to keep your natural vibe because if not, you'll be perceived as fake.

To take Light's exact example he wrote this out for me:

Ever come across a guy who everyone just thinks "Oh, he's just trying to act cool.." vs a guy who actually IS cool? - That's the difference.
Or someone who tries too hard to be funny and ends up making a fool of himself, vs a guy who actually is funny? - That's the difference.

Get the point?

TWEAKING YOUR GESTURES
Your physiology has a lot to do with your thought processes, and in turn, your physiology or your body language gives off different vibes to women. This is why Chase has you notice other's body composition in the newbie assignment. Guys who are dominant carry themselves one way, guys who are average carry themselves another.

By changing your physiology you'll change your mood, and you'll change how you're perceived. Dual purpose!

Well triple purpose because if you consciously remind yourself to walk or talk or move or speak a certain way, it starts to become natural after about a month, and is solidified after 3 months. If you walk more slowly, it will become habitual and you'll feel more dominant and confident in your natural life, and will then be perceived as such.

By changing your physicality, you'll be changing your internal mindsets as well. This certainly is a fun little loop you can tweak to your benefit.

At the end of the day though, I find it best to take a vibe you already have and master it then use it. If you're a naturally funny guy, stick to it, be the guy who is the right amount of funny.

Even if you're someone who has never even touched a woman, if you're a hardcore introvert! you still have appealing vibes. Mystery, intrigue, and confidence in yourself. If you're a hardcore extrovert, you're a lot of fun, vibrant!

If you want more in-depth information on who you are as a ladies man now, check out this book: "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene. I was introduced to this book recently, and it's simply amazing, and now I'm passing it on to you guys.

Enjoy,

Zphix&PrettyDecent

If you have any feedback, questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to post!
 

Dern

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 11, 2013
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281
Great post! Makes me think of Ricardus' article on the success factor. Think about times where you were say, calm and relaxed / mellow and warm. These two combinations would be MY type of vibe. Add sexuality to it, that's all I need to do. Then internalize it, like you said. Ricardus says to think about times where you are say, calm and relaxed and as a result, you will be more calm and relaxed. Pretty weird, pretty interesting huh? Pretty hard to do too. Sometimes I can't think of times where I was extremely sexy. Oh well, I just need to internalize that I AM mellow and warm. Because I am, it's just harder to do sometimes around women.
 
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