Now in my late twenties, I'm starting to get to a point in my life where I kinda have my act together. (About time, right?) Maybe years of hard work are starting to pay off, or maybe I'm just finally getting to the "right age". I look at myself objectively and damn, I'm a pretty attractive, high value dude all around.
And as you would expect, the kind of women I tend to get close to these days are pretty high value. But they're also almost always 7-8 years younger than me. While this is largely consistent with most of the models of dating/mating we use frequently here, it does make me feel a little weird, simply because I feel like I have an "unfair advantage" because of my life experience.
In some ways, I can accept that it's just the circle of life. I used to be a dipshit kid with no chance with the best girls of my own peer group. Now I watch as the male peers of the girls I date run around like headless chickens, obliterating themselves for trying, just like I used to do. But it's also probably true that there are guys younger than me who are far more attractive than I was at their age, even if I'm more attractive than them now.
Now, there's no guarantee that even a younger guy who is "further along" than I was at the same stage of life will continue to grow and improve at the same rate. For any number of reasons, he might plateau. But it still gives me almost a weird, minor sort of impostor syndrome. High value women say that want to be with me, and later, in the back of my mind, I think "Really? I think you could do better than me". Not because they're actually better than me side by side, or higher value overall, but because their value is more innate, whereas I've had to work for mine.
Do I have 10/10 genetics? Hell no! I'm probably above average, but I'm definitely not as good looking as the women I date. Not to mention, I have to work fairly hard in the gym and in general to keep my looks up. The women I date, on the other hand... Well, honestly, they probably put more effort into their looks than I do, but at the same time, they could totally quit and still be really attractive. If I quit trying, oh boy, I'd be a sorry sight in a hurry.
Do these women have money in the bank, social connections and business connections like I do? No, but there are tons of men out there with more money, connections, social position than me. I might be in the top 10%, maybe, but I'm certainly not top 1%, and that's still a lot of men out there. Most of the women I date tend to come from far more high-bred upbringings than mine (not saying much considering I grew up lower-middle class) -- some much have much higher social pedigrees than me, to the point that I feel like Aladdin some times, like the guy who high class women go slumming with while waiting for a proper suitor. However, maybe I'm underestimating what I bring to the table because of the aforementioned time factor.
I could keep going, but I think you guys get the point. Has anyone else felt this way, and do you thing it's well-founded? I've noticed I've developed a tendency to auto-reject some women who ask me for a more serious relationship, even if I'd probably be selfishly quite interested, because I don't want them to get with me and then resent me in a few years when they realize they "married down" or something. Or, I feel like they only want something serious because they feel "in love", i.e. because I have some skill in romance and because I keep them at a distance, in which case, as soon as I give in and agree to something serious, they won't want it anymore.
However, I'm at a point in my life where I am starting to think about starting a family. I could find some decent, somewhat-above-average woman who I know would be loyal and happy with me for me a long time, but it's hard to give up the fantastic relationships I have with some of these top-tier women.
What do you guys think?
Thanks
And as you would expect, the kind of women I tend to get close to these days are pretty high value. But they're also almost always 7-8 years younger than me. While this is largely consistent with most of the models of dating/mating we use frequently here, it does make me feel a little weird, simply because I feel like I have an "unfair advantage" because of my life experience.
In some ways, I can accept that it's just the circle of life. I used to be a dipshit kid with no chance with the best girls of my own peer group. Now I watch as the male peers of the girls I date run around like headless chickens, obliterating themselves for trying, just like I used to do. But it's also probably true that there are guys younger than me who are far more attractive than I was at their age, even if I'm more attractive than them now.
Now, there's no guarantee that even a younger guy who is "further along" than I was at the same stage of life will continue to grow and improve at the same rate. For any number of reasons, he might plateau. But it still gives me almost a weird, minor sort of impostor syndrome. High value women say that want to be with me, and later, in the back of my mind, I think "Really? I think you could do better than me". Not because they're actually better than me side by side, or higher value overall, but because their value is more innate, whereas I've had to work for mine.
Do I have 10/10 genetics? Hell no! I'm probably above average, but I'm definitely not as good looking as the women I date. Not to mention, I have to work fairly hard in the gym and in general to keep my looks up. The women I date, on the other hand... Well, honestly, they probably put more effort into their looks than I do, but at the same time, they could totally quit and still be really attractive. If I quit trying, oh boy, I'd be a sorry sight in a hurry.
Do these women have money in the bank, social connections and business connections like I do? No, but there are tons of men out there with more money, connections, social position than me. I might be in the top 10%, maybe, but I'm certainly not top 1%, and that's still a lot of men out there. Most of the women I date tend to come from far more high-bred upbringings than mine (not saying much considering I grew up lower-middle class) -- some much have much higher social pedigrees than me, to the point that I feel like Aladdin some times, like the guy who high class women go slumming with while waiting for a proper suitor. However, maybe I'm underestimating what I bring to the table because of the aforementioned time factor.
I could keep going, but I think you guys get the point. Has anyone else felt this way, and do you thing it's well-founded? I've noticed I've developed a tendency to auto-reject some women who ask me for a more serious relationship, even if I'd probably be selfishly quite interested, because I don't want them to get with me and then resent me in a few years when they realize they "married down" or something. Or, I feel like they only want something serious because they feel "in love", i.e. because I have some skill in romance and because I keep them at a distance, in which case, as soon as I give in and agree to something serious, they won't want it anymore.
However, I'm at a point in my life where I am starting to think about starting a family. I could find some decent, somewhat-above-average woman who I know would be loyal and happy with me for me a long time, but it's hard to give up the fantastic relationships I have with some of these top-tier women.
What do you guys think?
Thanks