an interesting text exchange with past lover

[mindful]

Hi guys,

I'm back in my old college town visiting and decided to hit up a girl I previously hooked up with but haven't talked to in months. I didn't expect a response but she did end up responding warmer than expected:

me: Hiiii xxx, im back in town house sitting, what are you up to?
her: hey! got a friends party not really sure yet -- seems like an opening here to hang out
me: sounds like funnnn. Do you wanna hang out later? I can come pick you up
her: Yeah i think I might be able to but it depends what my friends are planning I'll text you later if I'm free! - she put in some effort here, so idk if it was a total rejection
me: Cool. You better (with tonguey face)
--3 hrs later...
her: I have to wake up super early tomorrow so I may just call it a night im sorry :/
--went for push here
me: im downtown let me come get you. We can hang out for a little bit you will still get your beauty rest
her: sorry I am really tired and not in a good mood
me: ok, fair enough -- prob didn't need to respond here but didn't wanna appear like a total ass

Now, I already have a past with this girl so I wasn't trying to beat around the bush, and she knows whats up anyways. Also, I texted her at 7 PM on a Sat so I honestly wasn't expecting to really see her.

I was gonna leave it alone for a few days before texting her again, but my coffee date with another girl ended early and the girl I was supposed to see at night bailed on me, so i decided to text this girl again around 6:30 PM the next day.

me: come over tonight - movie and delicious popcorn, you can also tell alexa to play us some tunes
her: im sorry i kinda have feelings for someone right now and I dont think I can physically hook up with someone else at this point
her: sorry if I led you on I didnt mean to just working things out internally
me: Its fine, i assumed you were seeing someone anyways
me: but yeah i did think you were at least a little bit interested to see each other with your response
her: yeah im not in a relationship or exclusive so its more just confusion on my part that I had to work out. sorry about that

Soooo.... it sounds like she is dealing with a fuck boy haha. Typical 22 yr old girl right guys?

Anyways, I have a date tonight with another girl, but I told her I still wanted to grab food and would behave. So we are doing that in a few days, grabbing lunch. She was receptive of this and said she was down for chilling.

I've never really been in this position before... especially with a girl i've slept with multiple times to just going and getting food. I know it might seem beta or whatever but it's just something to do when im visiting so I dont care too much honestly.

My question is...how should I be when we get food? I think im still gonna be flirty and playful just wont make a move. Anyone have any advice?

 

[Seppuku]

Hey mindful,

It's simple, if the lunch happens and you harmlessly chat her and attempt nothing, there's a serious chance to end up as "just friends". Your chances in the future will be even lower. Are you fine with that?

I would suggest you be flirty and playful, have a sexual tone and attempt to pull / escalate anyway (if you have the logistics). You may get a barrier of "No" but at least you stay on the good side of the Friend Zone frontier.

Seppuku

 

[mindful]

Thanks for the response. I told her I'd behave so wouldn't that be a dick move on my part to try something? Her thought process would be like wow this guy didn't even care what I said and he told me he wouldn't make a move and here he is trying to sleep with me.

She obviously has feelings for a guy, and I remember reading an article where if a girl is really feeling a guy (although not exclusive yet) then she won't do anything to jeopardize that...

 

[mindful]

So I met this girl yesterday.

I picked her up and we grabbed sushi. She was a little guarded at first and not really making too much direct eye contact with me. But then she started to warm up when we got in a good conversation flow. I noticed she was looking at me more sexually and caught her looking at my lips a few times. She also started twirling her hair some too.

good signs.

So after wrapping up lunch, she asked if i wanted to grab a coffee. Also to note, during lunch, I asked her if she knew how to play piano (had one back at the house), and she said she did! I wasn't expecting that. So I started asking her about it and such. I kept that in mind for later...

Anyways so yeah, we grab coffee and then get back into the car. I start driving and shes playing music on my phone, being the DJ. After a few minutes I tell her I want her to teach me to play piano. And she's like I'm not a good teacher blah blah. Then I was like well I have a piano where im staying, I want you to teach me. I forget the details of the convo but i'm pretty much driving her back to the crib without telling her lol.

Once she realizes we are going back she was like "oh I thought you were taking me home". No worry or hesitation though... she tells me she only has like an hour.

So we get to the crib and such and she plays the piano. She actually gets really into it since she hasn't played in a while. It was hard for me to make a move on her. After a while I tell her lets go sit in the living room... and we do so. I sit down first which was dumb since she went and sat on the other couch LOL.

She still has her jacket on too. Never took it off. I tell her to come sit with me but she says she is fine where she is. I told her I'm gonna come and sit on her and shes like no dont do that... or something.

Anyways, we werent sitting down long then she said she had to go since she had shit to do. I felt it slipping away and knew I had to make a move, but it all felt.... sloppy to me i guess and I just couldn't do it. We were standing in the kitchen for a minute and I was finishing my coffee. She was looking at me likee "are you ready?" "you're driving me back right?". I looked and playfully laughed, telling her let me finish my coffee.

Anyways then we head to leave, the opportune moment was to pull her in for a kiss... but I just couldn't do it. UGH.

So yeah, I pussied out and didn't make a move. I was defintely in my head a little bit and my ego was taking over since I didn't want it to be awkward if she rejected me thinking I wasn't going to make a move on her before we met for lunch.

Al-in-all, I do regret not making a move, but I honestly got a lot further with her than I even expected. And i did enjoy the time with her.

 

[Fuck This]

Ok you made your call. Either accept the friend zone or drop her. Anything else is going to make you frustrated and hold you back in life.

I can honestly say looking back, there are no exes I would take back. Why? because I always moved on to something better....