FR  An other sh**y night! (Help a bro out)

abond0082

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 31, 2019
Messages
83
So I went to a Salsa party today.

Lots of attractive women, luckily I work out and dress decent, have nice perfume on so I kind of am set.
I have done this for several years so I have some experince dancing, noticed few nice ladies (I live in Finland by the way) but NOTHING COMPARED to the Adrican queen that ghosted me in OCtober last year (I HATE THIS), no matter how provocing they are and good looking they were they dont compare to her.

So since forever I have perved on women dancing (Currently I am 35 years old), 90% of the time they seem compfortable with it atleast initially.

Few things I noticed that is VERY STRANGE...Women are more willing to shake their asses against my crotch than their thighs/legs(VERY STRANGE)....I have an intimate moment on the dance floor where it really felt one woman was willing to kiss me, was nice grinding on her, she had a decent ass (Still nothing compared to the African queen). An other one was a tall red head with beautiful ass (NOTHING COMPARED TO THE WEST AFRICAN QUEEN)....but I kept shaking her hips left and right, sometimes making her face me or let her shake her ass, but again I feel resistance if I let the legs hump my crotch. I was scared that because they are young they might feel what does this 35 years old perv is doing sliding his crotch against my thighs (Something that in the past a lot of the women seem comfortable with just NOT ATELY FOR SOME REASON).

THen comes this foreginer, never seen her in that scene( I have been in that scene for a decade but still not connected to most and not very close friend to the top players "Salsa instructors", I come dance and get the fuk out, I go to dance for practice to meet women outside that scene. She is half Finnish and half from a neighboring country to me (My country and her country are like FRIENDS, THEY LIKE EACH OTHER), her father is from such scene and even though she is not what I fully find attractive ON PAPER she IS EXACTLY MY TYPE, big tits (I am a boob man and of all women I hate failing with it would these women), big ass, thick waist despite that, she is not what I go specifically face wise (I am not into middle Eastern women that much for most part)......In the beginning she seemed friendly and I told her that she Gorgoeus, I wished I never said it because I like to reserve this compilment to women that I really LIKE....She said thank you, I got close to her or tried and she resisted NO PROBLEM.


An other song comes by I ask her again and she comes along but I feel she is slightly resistant...and then a call to "Rueda is called upon" it is a CUban style of dance where people change partners constantly and suddenly she DOESNT WANT TO TOUCH ME, I HAVE NEVER EXPERINCED SUCH DISRESPECT AND INSULT IN MY LIFE, even when my turn comes along she refuse to let me even touch her hand which is extremely RUDE; DISRESPECTFUL etc...

At the end of the night when the place was closing down I told her "You know it is ok to say No to dancing with someone" and she said "I know, luckily it is the case" and if I was connected and someone who respects himself I would want to tell her "THat she is avile human being" but in this scene they will proabably side with her, I am so scared of confrontation, especailly as a skinny guy, not connected, who is unemployed loser (BY the way CHASE PLEASE MAKE AN article about extremet Negative self talk especially for guys who have not much to back up, or accomplished anything, young and old REALLY NEEDE I D).

THe sad part is not her, I am really ok of being rejected by her, what angers;
1) "I realized I dont have much options",
2) I dn't care about most options I would rather have few success with my "10s" African queens in my case and that is it
3) It seems I became slightly disentised to women's body and THAT terrifies me, it seems I am bored of the women in FInland somehow
4) I am angry about my skinny body(I have very athletic body; fuck I have 2x my body weight deadlift(Hook grip, no belt, no wrist bands) I am not a weakling but skinny as hell. Yesterday I was couched and I even had a small wrestling session with "Kimmo Kimmunen" and he is a Finnish olympic gold medalist in Javelin throwing World championship, DUDE IS STRONG.
5) I was angry for not confronting the woman, I was scared, I was scared she screams and gets me in unnecessary trouble
6) WHAT I HATE the most is that NOW I am really scared that the African girl that ghosted that I attracted for a long time and been on dates with makeouts and even talking about relationship WAS JUST LUCK, I hope it isnt. THis scared me the most, they nasty girl had similar body and so reminded me of her slightly.

I have no purpose, I an not skilled, I dont believe in myself and I am getting older, the African girl was a luck fluke(And EVEN if I would bedded her, I proably would be able to manage her and even the psychiatrist has retired and I really liked the man(Atleast he was a MAN)...

Finding the Redpill suks because now I started thing about sh*** things like my height, my weight, my job situation, if I am ugly or not These things I NEVER EVEN though off in the past, sometimes ignorance is BLISS: ANd I dont Ever want to you, I prefar puas where it is my personality that is the problem.

Aaaah

Sorry for complaining, I need uplifting....What happens during these nights hurt when I remember the African girl that I dated as it seemed now that I though I was mr Big shot and I hope I was....I dont want to date a lot but I want to be a man who is respected and dates his 10s that is it, they can be few.0
 

Protean

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
115
Hey man, I can sense that you’re feeling really frustrated right now. Things didn’t go your way that night and you’re frustrated, you’re super pissed off.

I totally get it.

Just a couple weeks ago I posted a thread just like yours out from the same place of frustration. In my case, it was a girl that I was really attracted to but I botched the approach. I was furious with myself. And like you, a torrent of self l-doubt and negative thoughts bore down on me.

Luckily with advice from this forum I was able to make a complete turn around.

I’ll share the advice with you in a second, but just promise me this: Don’t post another thread on the forum before really trying to make these tips work for you.

It’s important that you implement this advice. Merely thinking about things isn’t enough. Help yourself. Take action.

Okay here are the tips:

Get into cognitive behavior therapy right now. It will teach you how to manage your thoughts and not allow negative self-talk to bring you down.
@Carousel wrote two great articles on the subject that are fantastic introduction:

I also recommend picking up a copy of Feeling Good by Burns. The book goes far deeper on the subject and taught me to separate my self-worth from my results.

Get into meditation. Meditate for at least 10 minutes every morning. Chase has an article on this I think but meditation will strength your mind so you have better discipline over your thoughts.

Get into TRE
Once again @Carousel has THE thread on this subject. It’s basically exercises designed to make your body tremble and release tension that i stored in your muscles. It may sound weird, but man it works

Again, I’ve been in your shoes. I know what you’re going through. Take my advice and it’ll help you like it helped me.

- Protean
 
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