My goal on these outings has mainly been to get myself used to game again (I lost some of the things that made me so "magical" to be around, a very alluring and passionate part of myself during my relationship when I let myself go... that's another story though), rebuild some value and preselection for myself on media following my LTR ending (which was noticeable through the media and just by being in my life... she was a huge part of a my life for the past year or so), and to get to get laid (obviously).
In the past week, I've done maybe one approach on my small community college campus (going to a full on university in 3 months, well known for it's parties) and gone out to a college bar on a Friday night once with friends and once alone (both times it was very busy and very crowded). I've also put myself back on dating apps as something passive working for me (although it's mostly dead, I get maybe 4 or 5 likes that I'm actually interested in per week. Whereas with COVID it was booming, about 10-20 likes per day passively. Out of those, I a was able to get maybe one or two different dates set up per week.)
The approach went well, I was able to have a very engaging conversation with the girl at my community college but I noticed she was wearing an engagement ring (as someone who was recently and formerly engaged, I'd rather stay away from those situations) so I didn't really take it anywhere. I felt like I could've though. So as far as I can tell my day game in a calm environment, isn't too shabby. Not very helpful though, considering I live about half an hour from any well populated areas/ cities and half an hour from the nearest bar larger than my small kitchen. And let's keep in mind... that was just one person.
Now that college bar... That college bar was really something. The first time I went there, I was introduced to it by a friend I used to work with (not really in touch anymore since he shifted his lifestyle in a different direction to the one I've been thrown back into (and never really wanted to get back into for the rest of my life, but hey, let's make the best of this). We actually went to two bars, the first was a small bar with two cramped floors full of frat kids and some groups of college girls. We met another group of his buddies there (we'll call them the bulls, as we did). From there, we had some drinks and ran to another bar.
The line to get in was as long as the street but the bulls had a trick to get in quick but it required all of us to be there, so we where able to get in almost immediately. This bar was more like a club. It has two very wide and open floors, every room had another bar, there where two dance floors (but only one of them was ever crowded and that was constant throughout the night until closing). The bulls take us up to the top floor and immediately approach two girls at the bar and end up disappearing somewhere with them for a while. My buddy and I branched off our own ways immediately as well. I was full of nerves at the time and ended up accidentally circling the 2nd floor to the point where it got weird. I got more uncomfortable at that point.... So I got shitfaced and went down to the first floor. Less crowded. I made a few approaches and had some flirtatious conversations that lasted less than a minute (I have no idea how to have conversation in a fast paced environment like this). I went to the outdoor area for some fresh air... very crowded. I turned around and went back upstairs. I got along well with almost every guy in the place but the girls where always hit or miss, and even then I usually only had a few seconds.
As the night started to come to a close, I ended up hanging out at one of the side bars, back away from the center by a support beam (bar sides never have any spaces open here). I got bored after a bit but as I was walking off, I ran into a woman who was just as shitfaced as me (she looked alright, not quite the quality of my ex... but alright). We made eye contact and I motioned for her to come to me with a finger and bedroom eyes. Sure enough, she came. We didn't greet with a handshake or anything, it was an immediate kiss (a peck not making out yet). The conversation actually stuck somehow and we ended up talking for a few minutes, I got to know her quick. We took a picture together for the media (It turned out to be a shit picture as neither of us really posed well, although my angle wasn't too bad), made out for a bit (bad on me but I didn't think there was anywhere to go yet), exchanged numbers, then we ran off to the restrooms to blow chunks briefly (mine ended up being a false alarm and I recovered quick but the men's room was hotboxed.. so I only got further intoxicated). The place started to close shortly after, I became a bit more popular with the women as well as the men. For some reason, I had about a hundred second long conversations just getting down the steps and the first floor hall on the way out. But I also caught up in a conversation for a second with another much more attractive girl by the restrooms on the first floor (one person restrooms) but we ended up having to split to leave with our groups. (I was way too drunk to drive home).
My ex was the first to see my posts of my night out... she was excited for me and very curious about what happened between me and the girl, asking about it in a private conversation in a video chat (we talk on a few rare occasions). A bit on that: We agreed to be friends after the break up, but I didn't want to be an orbiter or anything so I've been keeping distance, just giving enough contact to keep in touch and very friendly. I remained her lover after the break up (as we both loved the sex too much to give it up), but then she got a boyfriend soon after (her second choice to me for a while from what I can tell. But that's a bit more complicated and for the journal). So now we're just distant friends (we where engaged, and first loves to both of us so the connection ran deep and still does from what I can tell.)
Then I went out again to that very same large bar last night, alone. It was a rough start. I was all nerves again, and a little overdressed for a college bar so I felt very out of place but I forgot to switch out clothes before leaving my place. Getting in wasn't hard. I got there early enough and the line was almost none existent. I spent less time walking around the bar this time and instead tried finding places to post up. I found a few alright places but most of the ideal ones where very crowded and when I did post up, I had to force myself to stay because I felt very uncomfortable.
I tried getting shitfaced again to help with this, spending god knows how much but this time I just couldn't get drunk enough. So I had to force myself into conversations with women and would more often than not just come up with nothing to talk about after introductions, but at least the interactions usually lasted longer. I ended up having most conversations with other guys and making a lot of single serving friends. Even ended up meeting the owner of the place on the dance floor and hanging out with him for a while (cool dude), couldn't hear him for shit though. (Apparently I accidentally recorded him on my post trying to hook me up with someone, saying "I can get you laid" which is hilarious to me but I'm not sure how that'll come off online).
There was one girl I met off on her own away from her group when we where both taking breaks from dance floor (the most active part of the bar, cramped shoulder to shoulder). We had an alright casual conversation and she gave me an opportunity to walk out with her so I led her to the stairs to the first floor but then she said she had to go find her guy friend to leave. So I let her go and figured she wasn't coming back. I moved on to the calmer dance floor and ended up dancing with another girl, I was a bit buzzed though (still not able to get shitfaced, was annoyed with myself for that) so the dancing was somewhat clumsy. But we had fun, lots of physical contact. More romantic than sexual fun though and talked a bit during the dancing. It was cute little conversation, we got to know each other. But it didn't hit a sexual note outside of a few moments dancing. After the dance ended, she turned to her group of friends for a minute. I was pretty much left just standing there and felt really awkward, so I told her it was fun and walked away. The rest of the night was really uneventful. The place started to shut down and I just walked out with nothing more on my live post than the crowded dance floor, a one man band playing at another place (which I just had drinks at, it was severely under populated and very early in the night), and the owner saying her can get me laid with me not understanding him and just going on to party on the dancefloor more.
I passed out in the car for about half an hour then drove home much more sober. A little ashamed I went home empty handed, only to be gut punched when I noticed that my ex (who playfully teased me in a previous conversation saying she doesn't think I can get laid on my own anymore) saw my story (that did not include any women) and so did her friend (who I don't formerly know and doesn't follow me).
Some things I'm trying to work on (this is the part where you should give advice if you have any
):
In the past week, I've done maybe one approach on my small community college campus (going to a full on university in 3 months, well known for it's parties) and gone out to a college bar on a Friday night once with friends and once alone (both times it was very busy and very crowded). I've also put myself back on dating apps as something passive working for me (although it's mostly dead, I get maybe 4 or 5 likes that I'm actually interested in per week. Whereas with COVID it was booming, about 10-20 likes per day passively. Out of those, I a was able to get maybe one or two different dates set up per week.)
The approach went well, I was able to have a very engaging conversation with the girl at my community college but I noticed she was wearing an engagement ring (as someone who was recently and formerly engaged, I'd rather stay away from those situations) so I didn't really take it anywhere. I felt like I could've though. So as far as I can tell my day game in a calm environment, isn't too shabby. Not very helpful though, considering I live about half an hour from any well populated areas/ cities and half an hour from the nearest bar larger than my small kitchen. And let's keep in mind... that was just one person.
Now that college bar... That college bar was really something. The first time I went there, I was introduced to it by a friend I used to work with (not really in touch anymore since he shifted his lifestyle in a different direction to the one I've been thrown back into (and never really wanted to get back into for the rest of my life, but hey, let's make the best of this). We actually went to two bars, the first was a small bar with two cramped floors full of frat kids and some groups of college girls. We met another group of his buddies there (we'll call them the bulls, as we did). From there, we had some drinks and ran to another bar.
The line to get in was as long as the street but the bulls had a trick to get in quick but it required all of us to be there, so we where able to get in almost immediately. This bar was more like a club. It has two very wide and open floors, every room had another bar, there where two dance floors (but only one of them was ever crowded and that was constant throughout the night until closing). The bulls take us up to the top floor and immediately approach two girls at the bar and end up disappearing somewhere with them for a while. My buddy and I branched off our own ways immediately as well. I was full of nerves at the time and ended up accidentally circling the 2nd floor to the point where it got weird. I got more uncomfortable at that point.... So I got shitfaced and went down to the first floor. Less crowded. I made a few approaches and had some flirtatious conversations that lasted less than a minute (I have no idea how to have conversation in a fast paced environment like this). I went to the outdoor area for some fresh air... very crowded. I turned around and went back upstairs. I got along well with almost every guy in the place but the girls where always hit or miss, and even then I usually only had a few seconds.
As the night started to come to a close, I ended up hanging out at one of the side bars, back away from the center by a support beam (bar sides never have any spaces open here). I got bored after a bit but as I was walking off, I ran into a woman who was just as shitfaced as me (she looked alright, not quite the quality of my ex... but alright). We made eye contact and I motioned for her to come to me with a finger and bedroom eyes. Sure enough, she came. We didn't greet with a handshake or anything, it was an immediate kiss (a peck not making out yet). The conversation actually stuck somehow and we ended up talking for a few minutes, I got to know her quick. We took a picture together for the media (It turned out to be a shit picture as neither of us really posed well, although my angle wasn't too bad), made out for a bit (bad on me but I didn't think there was anywhere to go yet), exchanged numbers, then we ran off to the restrooms to blow chunks briefly (mine ended up being a false alarm and I recovered quick but the men's room was hotboxed.. so I only got further intoxicated). The place started to close shortly after, I became a bit more popular with the women as well as the men. For some reason, I had about a hundred second long conversations just getting down the steps and the first floor hall on the way out. But I also caught up in a conversation for a second with another much more attractive girl by the restrooms on the first floor (one person restrooms) but we ended up having to split to leave with our groups. (I was way too drunk to drive home).
My ex was the first to see my posts of my night out... she was excited for me and very curious about what happened between me and the girl, asking about it in a private conversation in a video chat (we talk on a few rare occasions). A bit on that: We agreed to be friends after the break up, but I didn't want to be an orbiter or anything so I've been keeping distance, just giving enough contact to keep in touch and very friendly. I remained her lover after the break up (as we both loved the sex too much to give it up), but then she got a boyfriend soon after (her second choice to me for a while from what I can tell. But that's a bit more complicated and for the journal). So now we're just distant friends (we where engaged, and first loves to both of us so the connection ran deep and still does from what I can tell.)
Then I went out again to that very same large bar last night, alone. It was a rough start. I was all nerves again, and a little overdressed for a college bar so I felt very out of place but I forgot to switch out clothes before leaving my place. Getting in wasn't hard. I got there early enough and the line was almost none existent. I spent less time walking around the bar this time and instead tried finding places to post up. I found a few alright places but most of the ideal ones where very crowded and when I did post up, I had to force myself to stay because I felt very uncomfortable.
I tried getting shitfaced again to help with this, spending god knows how much but this time I just couldn't get drunk enough. So I had to force myself into conversations with women and would more often than not just come up with nothing to talk about after introductions, but at least the interactions usually lasted longer. I ended up having most conversations with other guys and making a lot of single serving friends. Even ended up meeting the owner of the place on the dance floor and hanging out with him for a while (cool dude), couldn't hear him for shit though. (Apparently I accidentally recorded him on my post trying to hook me up with someone, saying "I can get you laid" which is hilarious to me but I'm not sure how that'll come off online).
There was one girl I met off on her own away from her group when we where both taking breaks from dance floor (the most active part of the bar, cramped shoulder to shoulder). We had an alright casual conversation and she gave me an opportunity to walk out with her so I led her to the stairs to the first floor but then she said she had to go find her guy friend to leave. So I let her go and figured she wasn't coming back. I moved on to the calmer dance floor and ended up dancing with another girl, I was a bit buzzed though (still not able to get shitfaced, was annoyed with myself for that) so the dancing was somewhat clumsy. But we had fun, lots of physical contact. More romantic than sexual fun though and talked a bit during the dancing. It was cute little conversation, we got to know each other. But it didn't hit a sexual note outside of a few moments dancing. After the dance ended, she turned to her group of friends for a minute. I was pretty much left just standing there and felt really awkward, so I told her it was fun and walked away. The rest of the night was really uneventful. The place started to shut down and I just walked out with nothing more on my live post than the crowded dance floor, a one man band playing at another place (which I just had drinks at, it was severely under populated and very early in the night), and the owner saying her can get me laid with me not understanding him and just going on to party on the dancefloor more.
I passed out in the car for about half an hour then drove home much more sober. A little ashamed I went home empty handed, only to be gut punched when I noticed that my ex (who playfully teased me in a previous conversation saying she doesn't think I can get laid on my own anymore) saw my story (that did not include any women) and so did her friend (who I don't formerly know and doesn't follow me).
Some things I'm trying to work on (this is the part where you should give advice if you have any
):- Trying to approach groups of girls at the club/bar as that's pretty much all there is and I have no idea what I'm do there.
- Conversating and escalating better in the club/bar.
- Hitting a sexual note/ vibe more and being a little less full of nerves, without the assistance of substances.
- And any ideas on what kind of places for day game? Anything in a city I should drive out to for practice/ game? (I'm referring to Philadelphia if it matters)