Are guys like us meant to go through life alone and lonely?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Lonely alone, they say you can be alone even around a group of people but you guys get what I mean.

Look at the life trajectory of an average guy.

From 16-22, he is likely getting a feel for life and the fun it can offer. He is old enough to drive and starts to get a taste of drinks, parties, and socializing. Throw him in environments like high school and college where it should come naturally to him, never came naturally to me tbh.

Then somewhere in his mid 20s he gets a serious girlfriend and late 20s, he is getting married. This guy enters his 30s as a married man.

Now look at the life trajectory of the guy who found PUA, this site or communities like it.

Very good chance he graduated college as a virgin or just not with enough experience with women. Then in his 20s he probably started doing cold approaches and learn some game. By his mid to late 20s, he might have started to hit his stride and in his 30s maybe he starts to get laid a lot more by just having more options now.

But it kinda feels lonely compared to the majority!

The married guy, he has other married guys to talk to and can meet friends through his wife. He can be friends and find community with other parents whose kids are friends.

Now think about the other guy who is in his 30s now, single, and still living that player dream.

How would a guy like that find any real community?

How would he ever find his tribe and crew to fit into given that everyone around his age is married with kids?

 

[Cacc]

Seems like you want to settle down and have a house with a white picket fence and a wife and kids?

The men here who are older and don't have families nor have settled down definitely don't feel bad about it. They enjoy the freedom and don't want to settle down yet or haven't found the woman to settle down yet.

We are all different and there's nothing wrong with wanting a normal life and wanting to fit in. If that's what you long for, then what's stopping you from living your dream life?

 

[armit]

Hey man,

I feel your pain--in my mid-30s. Message me and let's figure stuff out.

 

[Sub-Zero]

It's either you want to settle down or you don't. And to be honest the skills you learn from this site is levels beyond what your peers could ever imagine. No one is doing this stuff, no one is cold approaching. Most importantly there are many men that suck with women that marry any girl they can.

I know you don't want to be the outsider, but what do you want ? If you suck with women you better hit the grind get some girls and then get married in a few years. Because if you could get married now, you wouldn't be on this website, so get your skills up, then think about marriage or whatever you want. Like I said earlier, many men suck with women and get married because they're out there getting women like that, they settle. You can always get a girlfriend and get married man at any age, that should be the last thing on your mind tho haha.

Lonely alone, they say you can be alone even around a group of people but you guys get what I mean.

Look at the life trajectory of an average guy.

From 16-22, he is likely getting a feel for life and the fun it can offer. He is old enough to drive and starts to get a taste of drinks, parties, and socializing. Throw him in environments like high school and college where it should come naturally to him, never came naturally to me tbh.

Then somewhere in his mid 20s he gets a serious girlfriend and late 20s, he is getting married. This guy enters his 30s as a married man.

Now look at the life trajectory of the guy who found PUA, this site or communities like it.

Very good chance he graduated college as a virgin or just not with enough experience with women. Then in his 20s he probably started doing cold approaches and learn some game. By his mid to late 20s, he might have started to hit his stride and in his 30s maybe he starts to get laid a lot more by just having more options now.

But it kinda feels lonely compared to the majority!

The married guy, he has other married guys to talk to and can meet friends through his wife. He can be friends and find community with other parents whose kids are friends.

Now think about the other guy who is in his 30s now, single, and still living that player dream.

How would a guy like that find any real community?

How would he ever find his tribe and crew to fit into given that everyone around his age is married with kids?

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

We need to make a "vent" thread where guys can go and bitch about shit.

However, there should be one rule: you have to be specific.

E.g., "I met this girl and this SAME thing happened to me and FUCK is it frustrating...I hate when X happens!!"

You're just mindlessly bitching, Frustration. You don't really listen to advice (e.g., when I commented on your office politics post, you focused on me misunderstanding that he wasn't your boss then asked your question again when I clearly laid out a blueprint of how to approach sociopaths. It's like you purposefully ignore anything that doesn't fit into your worldview).

Let me just give you a heads up..you're starting to sound like Altair and he got the boot.

Stop it. If you're going to bitch, try and think of solutions, not defeatest posts of "waghhhh my life is always going to suck." Call your mom if you're going to be like that. Jesus.

hector

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Looks like I need to clarify then, fair.

I was talking about being lonely in the sense that, how do these guys over 30 who are not married like the majority of people out there find community and not be loners?

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

I was talking about being lonely in the sense that, how do these guys over 30 who are not married like the majority of people out there find community and not be loners?

I think you and other like Oh Pry have been asking the same questions for a long time and we keep giving answers. Maybe we're not being clear enough? Not sure.

But here it is - unless you're a big social party guy who is purely loved for his personality/charisma/social connections, like the "guy who knows everyone," then you're going to have to find a niche, like you're the volleyball guy in the city. You're good, played in college, etc and are always putting together games on the beach. Make sense?

Or maybe you're the fashion guy - you're involved with fashion, imports from Italy, and host bi-monthly meetings about newest trends in fashion, men and women.

I think you're overestimating the lives of most married people in their 30's. Most people meet their social circles through work, and, occasionally, their hobbies. Their social lives fucking suck and they keep hanging out with their old friends over and over again. It's incestuous.

So your two options are these

1. Become a super social guy who's fun to be around, is ALWAYS at X club, and Y club, meet some people, start going to house parties, adding everyone on FB/Insta, is super chill and makes everyone feel alive - it takes a year or two to build this circle, but once you do, you have a revolving door of new pussy coming in all the time.

2. Get good/experienced in a particular field and grow a social circle through that. Start getting REALLY good at yoga, perhaps. Go to the classes and meet everyone from there. BUT, you have to LOVE the thing. You cant' do it ONLY for the girls, that has to be a secondary concern.

If that isn't sufficiently clear, and it should be, then I have nothing else to offer except for a future book/product on post-college social circle life, and that's for the details. If you don't get started on one of these and start asking technical questions based on experience (I went out, met X social group, am in it now, but can't break through to the top, etc), then I'm going to start reporting your posts. This is your last whining post, mkay? I'm saying this both for the health of the community and for your own well being - you need a kick in the ass and this post is all you need. If it's not enough, then nothing will be enough.

Ohm tat sat.

Hector

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Yo I feel you Hector, I really do.

This shit is really mental for me right now bro and I'll be honest with you man, I have not taken action.

I agree about married people being boring but they seemed to have had their fun really young and got married after they were bored of it, maybe it is because they feared what I fear right now. The worry of mines is when I am that age where most people are getting married, what am I going to be doing with my life to fit in? I mean it would be awkward as fuck hanging with people in their early 20s and college kids when I am in my 30s, how would I even make it work?

You mentioned that guy who "knows everyone" but these guys seem to be the club promoter and club worker types whose life literally revolved around this stuff. I am pursuing a corporate career which will get me six figures when I am in my 30s so I don't even know if I can do this.

You probably right Hector, I don't see you being wrong often. Maybe I cannot be saved.

Maybe the life I had in high school and the fact that I am late to the game coupled in with my need for community yet at the same time being choosy about it (I don't want to make friends with a bunch of boring dads in their 30s lol) may have me in a stage where I am miserable for life.

The thought that I might have to throw away a promising career to get what I want but at the same time, how out of the loop and how much of a misfit I would be in my 30s trying to chase this life. Having to hang out with really younger people because everyone else around my age is married and sucks.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

The Natural Lifestyles just posted a fantastic video on their Youtube channel about a response James Marshall gave pertaining to this exact type of subject, namely people who feel that social and sexual opportunity is practically over after college. Someone in the audience asked this type of question and told his story about how he was a football player in college, had a hot girlfriend, had a cool social circle and that after graduating, he still felt attached to that environment and that identity in college and was feeling down about how he couldn't recreate those "glory days."

James delivered an awesome answer that talked about letting go of the past opportunities and creating new glory days and went on to talk about social circles/social life naturally shrink over time and go through cycles throughout various phases of a man's life. He mentioned that it requires an ACTIVE STRATEGY to seek out new social circles and social activities and that people who complain about social life being over after college and the glory days that may have passed them, are just simply NOT BEING CREATIVE ENOUGH.

Seriously OP, this is you. You're clearly not taking an active strategy and are definitely not being creative enough as evidenced by your posts. There are an abundance of social and sexual opportunities out there, it appears that you're not even trying to seek them out and are just complaining. Nobody respects that, especially not the self-improvement minded individuals like those you will find on the GC Boards. This is coming from someone who is about to graduate college in a few weeks, so it applies just as much to someone like me as it does to someone like you.

For what it's worth, I believe that people who had that coveted college lifestyle and were "popular" and were very well-known in college (like this football player) have it way rougher after graduating than someone like you or the others in the "college years wasted" club. These guys know what they're missing because they lived a rewarding and fun social and sexual lifestyle in a unique environment that they can never go back to and fully recreate. Thus I have a lot more sympathy for them versus someone who was a "loner" or "loser" in college or who didn't have fun social circles that partied and banged a bunch of chicks. At least those types don't know what they're missing because they never even tasted it.

Honestly dude just watch the video. Hopefully it will strike some sense into you so that you can move on with your life and stop being obsessed with missed opportunities in the past because THE PAST IS DEAD.

Here it is: https://youtu.be/KvfyE_Y1C5o

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

So I did see that video,

it hit me real hard when started talking about people being unattached in high school and college, like wtf, why did I not feel any of that shit? I was even social in college too but I did not get to experience any of those highs or meeting cool people despite being outgoing.

You say be creative but be creative for what? Try to see where I am coming from after watching that video.

He says so many people get married, tied down, buy houses and have kids after getting into the workforce. So what exactly am I hunting out there? If most people around my age are in that situation then that sucks hard cock for me because I am not in that situation and the likelihood is, women and social circles I meet not in that situation won't offer me what I actually wanted.

Here is what I am gathering from watching the video and reading the post, that no matter what I do afterwards, nothing will rival what I could have had.

Like talk about quality of hot girls right, just how would I be able to get that in my 30s given that most women my age are taken and damaged but having a tough time fitting in with people in their young 20s or those in college?

What I am stuck in my own head about is what is out there? There like really no guarantee or even signal of something quality out there for those of us who want to be single in our 30s because so many people our age did not get the message, they had their kids and settled into the boring life. How many people are left who remained single and quality people (hot and fun)?

I don't think I am going to make it to my 30s at this point, I think that having to take all this in, someday I am just going to give up on life.

It is such a bitch.

I can't control the parents I had or the environment I was in for high school but yet those years matter so much socially.

I can't control the fact that I was young as fuck, dumb, busy, and trying to get good grades in college so my social life mostly suffered, yet those were the peak years for meeting lots of people.

Yet now when I am realizing it, the best I could have had is down the toilet and gone....

Like fucking shit, life should not work this way at all. Life should grant you social opportunities for working hard and improving yourself in your 20s and 30s. Life should grant you access to cool quality single people around that age instead of being a total bitch and having those people get married with kids before 30 because society is a shithole that tells them to.

It should not be like this, it fucking shouldn't.

College should not be the peak of social opportunity.

 

[foggy]

bruh (altair?) you are spending waaay too much time worrying about the past and the future. you should be worrying about now. All the energy you're wasting on worrying about WHAT CAN'T BE CHANGED or hasn't happened yet could be better spent towards improving now.

WHAT have you done to improve in the past few days? HAVE you talked to any girls in the past few weeks?

We are not your emotional tampon, go talk to a counsellor or something...

 

[Cacc]

It's a tough world. Some people just aren't meant to handle it much less thrive in it.

In the end, Darwinism wins.

 

[radeng]

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=18128&p=91124#p91124

Just a link to the other post you made where I wrote you a book. You’re not gonna find better answers than that. Both Hector and I feel the same, if we don’t see some field reports and positivity from you, maybe this community isn’t a good fit. We want you to succeed, we really do. But we are all about action here.

For the record I am 30, my wing is 28, we picked up 2 19 year olds, one of them was the sexiest girl in the bar(unfortunately my wing got her in this case) and took them back to our hotel. I rarely chat with women over 26 and if I’m chatting w a woman in her 30s she better be a stunner.

I’m not special, and I’m maybe a little above average looking on a good day, 5’10.

I go out and I take action. Socializing is a skill that takes practice. You’re not putting in any practice. Stop sitting around speculating.

Ps I’m not lonely I have a big social circle, I do want to get married someday, I don’t want to settle down for a long time tho. There is nothing sad about my life. My friends who are in relationships are jealous as fuck of my lifestyle and or just got mad respect for it. They don’t feel sorry for me lol.

There’s nothing you can’t have if you put in the work. There’s also nothing you can have if you don’t.

It’s not all rainbows, I could Bitch about the other early 20s girls who rejected me to find one that didn’t. But idc at all. I’m happy to take home the ones that like me. Get over your ego and your unwillingness to fail. Your fear of failure will cause you misery. And if you want to be scared your whole life than you don’t deserve to have the good things you dream of.

Let’s see a FR from you next time.

Radeng

 

[Ambiance]

We need to make a "vent" thread where guys can go and bitch about shit.

However, there should be one rule: you have to be specific.

E.g., "I met this girl and this SAME thing happened to me and FUCK is it frustrating...I hate when X happens!!"
hector

I think this could be a solution to the race poll we are having. But then again, I can see some posters thinking their own "crisis" supercedes the categorization of venting...

 

[ResentMasculinity]

it seems to be more common among the millennial generation for there to be more perpetually single guys