@Train,
Yes!
More literally than perhaps you intended (or maybe you did intend it when you worded it that way).
It starts with schooling and parents.
Schools are corporate training grounds. They've adjusted their rules and itineraries over time to coincide with the demands of the professional world. The constant refrain from everyone involved in the school system is, "You need to do this if you ever want to have a job!" or "If you behave like that, no one will ever hire you!" Parents support the school system, because they want their kids to be able to support themselves as adults.
That's not to knock schools or parents. What they're telling kids is reality. Most people are going to work for someone else. And what you do not want in an employee is someone who is overly rambunctious, overly outspoken, picks fights, breaks too many rules, can't get the right answer or follow protocol properly, etc. It just makes the manager's job difficult.
But the side effect of training children to be good little cogs in the corporate system also makes them extremely un-assertive. There's been a lot of debate on "Why are so many guys who do well in school and succeed in their careers bad with women?" and the converse "Why are so many deadbeat failures at life good with girls?" The behavioral modifications you undergo to adapt to the adult workforce is part of the cause.
Back in my 9-to-5 days, when I'd go out gaming after work, it felt like I was having to shift out of one personality and into a completely different one. During the day: follow orders, try to look busy, don't piss anyone off. By night: be a rebel, be a rogue, lead, flirt, challenge. There was this constant feeling all the time of "I am being half real, half faking." When I no longer had a corporate job I finally got to be the same person all the time. Perhaps not coincidentally, I hit my best stride with girls after I left the "holding down a job" world.
I can't say that everyone experiences this. I know a few guys who hold down 9-to-5s and are nevertheless inveterate gamers. So maybe it depends on the guy how much this affects you or not.
But, to your point, Train -- yeah, nice guys really ARE "made" for the corporate world.
They're made that way by school and parents, who only want the best for them.
They're trained as well as they can be for job success.
Unfortunately, their social success, in the process of all that, is neglected.
With all the social sanctions over what you cannot say and the sex harassment witch hunt in workplaces now, and how they are training kids for this in school, I just would not want to be a kid coming up in today's education system. There's more and more stuff to selectively deprogram yourself from every year.
They've done a lot over the past couple decades to cut out gym classes, recesses, and all the other already-limited opportunities school students had to socialize and develop better social skills during school, too. It's not to be malicious -- it's because the working world keeps getting more competitive, and they are trying to make students more competitive hires, by training them even more and deeper in "corporation-approved" skills and strategies.
One thing I'd note here -- girls who go through the school system also change. They adapt their mate-search criteria to look for guys who are still reasonably sociable, but also are their peers and have done similarly well in school/work. There has always been this claim in the red pill / manosphere communities that educated career women are all secretly seeking after / chasing down illiterate third world guys as the ultimate sex machines. Well, I will tell you this... I like educated career women (so long as they are
young and
attractive educated career women
), and I have bedded a lot of them, talked to a lot of them, and befriended a lot of them. I have seen a lot of their sexual histories, and even among the hypersexual ones there is nary an illiterate third world poverty guy to be found. These girls will go for unemployed guys sometimes if those guys still have that "can succeed in the system" aura about him -- like a he's a talented painter or he's a guy who travels the world or has some other interesting thing about him. But they are not shagging the hillbilly auto mechanic who works for 8 bucks an hour. Nor are they shagging the 30-something guy who just got here from Somalia and is living in public housing and can barely speak English.
So -- if you went through that system, it is not like you need to forget everything you know and go be a plumber.
You just need to re-learn some of the instinctual assertive stuff the school system trains out of you, just enough that you can appeal to women, flirt with them, lead them, bed them, and handle them in a relationship.
Of course, if you do leave the corporate world and do something where you're no longer following orders all the time, it gets easier to appeal to a broad range of women.
But yeah... nice guys are
literally made for the corporate world (by parents and schools).
They are made that way because their parents and schools want them to succeed professionally, because someone who is pliant, rule-following, a "team player", and all that other stuff corporations say they want and schools say you have to be really IS what corporations want.
In pretty much every role other than date coach or writer, I also look for these same qualities when I'm hiring for GC. I have hired somewhere north of 200 people over the past 9 years (obviously not all at once). And whenever I hire, in the back of my head I am asking myself, "Is this guy going to be punctual? Is he going to be professional? Am I going to have to deal with any drama or sloppiness with him? Is he going to be capable of following the protocols I set out for him?"
Sort of ironic -- I'm running a site that teaches guys how to let go of being a nice guy.
But when I hire, except when hiring coaches, I am diligently looking for all those "nice guy" qualities.
That's just how the world goes round, ain't it?
Chase
