Avoiding Violence In Seduction?

[Hue]

Yo,

Twice in 7 days now, I've had guys in the social circle of girls I'm talking to tell me to leave their group while out at the bar. Both these times I wasn't even pressing hard on either of the chicks I was talking to, so I'm assuming it's my general vibe / fundamentals that are making them perceive me as such a threat / issue. I attempt to be nonreactive and tool them a little bit by asking what their name is.

Depending on my delivery it works in a few ways because it both attempts to build a bridge with them and disengages their dominance somewhat. I also know a lot of different types of people if you catch my drift but I'm not getting into that. At the very least it changes the direction of conversation, even if minutely.

I've taken one class in Krav Maga and plan on taking more, now that this is becoming a recurring issue.

While I'm not skin and bones, I'm not exactly the most built seducer out here. Though I hit hard and have fought before.


This is especially a problem for when I'm working with groups because I tend to go in alone, and often times groups of girls are waiting on a few / a group of guys to meet them out.


Either as general advice, or some verbal techniques that I can utilize, what advice can you guys give to not allowing seduction to turn into violence?


Hue

 

[Tony D]

I've taught pickup professionally in bars for ten years, and have never been in a fight. If guys start to act violent, sometimes it's better to just walk away. Fighting isn't worth it. It's the only seduction strategy they know. Most guys if you have good game, don't even understand you're attracting their girls. Most likely you're still learning this bar game thing. Patience. Be Zen. If someone messes with you and wants to fight, just walk away and live to game another day.

 

[Hue]

Tony,

My bad on taking so long to respond to this, thanks for the feedback. I received similar feedback about almost getting in a fight because of a pool game and kinda facepalmed like, "duh - I've been over this before".

It's the only seduction strategy they know.

Eliminate the surrounding competition and you're more likely to win, sure.

Most guys if you have good game, don't even understand you're attracting their girls.

Could you comment on what this looks like or how to accomplish this? I'd really appreciate it.


Hue

 

[razir110]

Can you please elaborate on how to break into a group with guys and girls?

 

[Hue]

Can you please elaborate on how to break into a group with guys and girls?

Assume the guys are not sexually related to the girls, and treat them as any other person. A lot of times they will back off at your social confidence and dominance, I've literally had guys wait 15 minutes staring at the girl I opened for me to finish talking, only to stay for about 2 minutes and let me return to gaming her.

Sometimes it's best to befriend the group (and I'd like to more know about this, per my question to Tony), but generally what I've done in the past is not really give the guys that much attention unless they begin talking to me. In that case, and it depends, I'd either not give them much attention (if they're not a threat to my seduction) or try to befriend them (if they obviously have some sort of grip or control in their group).


Hue

 

[Big Daddy]

I've been going out a lot with some girl friends to pretty much observe what they do and how they behave around guys (and promptly ask them why they did what they did).

Most of the time it'll be me and two or three more girls, and most guys just break in and assume I'm not sexually involved with any of them. Some ignore me, others try to make funny remarks to me while talking to the girls.

Since I've decided to do nothing, I'm mostly passive but even if I weren't I'd wing the guy a little bit if he seemed cool. I know the struggle lol. But honestly I don't feel like there's a good way to do this, so just do it without being a complete asshole. If it's loud as fuck and you can talk to the girl on the fringe of the group and ignore everybody else do it.

Even if I don't care if they talk to my friends, it's annoying to have other men inserting themselves in my groups. Girls can be annoying too but if they're hot I'll let it pass. After I conclude my note-taking, I should probably find a way to mark my territory more decisively though. Just for reps.

 

[Fuck This]

I guess that I'm a big enough and intimidating enough guy that women have used me to "scrape off" unwanted advances from creeps. I mean I did get called "Steve Austin" at the grocery store by a complete stranger!

I've also taken a woman home from the bar as another guy was trying to make out with her on the dance floor. I thought that could have gotten complicated but I swept her out of there so fast he didn't know what to do...

I think the key is to be aware of what the other guy's vibe is. If he's not smiling, and Mad-dogging other guys around one woman, chances are she is his date. I once went up to a guys girl while he was in the bathroom, and said to her "First date?" She smiled and nodded. "Last date? " she shook her head. That's all I needed to know she was going home with him and I was wasting my time. If she hadn't been so positive, I would have slipped her my number.

If a woman gives me eye contact over the guy's shoulder, I'll make a note to talk to her in passing a some point during the night. I might ask her to dance or go up next to her when she comes to the bar for a drink. I won't bull into a guy's set unless she motions me over.

I've also been that guy with the girl who has guys circling like sharks. When she realizes I'm not threatened, she becomes that much more attracted.


If you are getting frequent aggressive responses from guys bigger than you, you are missing some social cues. Most big guys won't need to lose it and make a show. We canusually give a glance, and fuck boys slink away.