FR Back to School: The Rust is Real

[TwoNameGame]

Context:

I started approaching at my university campus. I haven't approached since last semester and I notice that I am making clumsy mistakes. I tried iterating to fine tune my approach and pinpoint the exact issues, so this is more repetitive than my first FR. I also just go for a specific kind of girl, which is unfortunate as all 3 were busy today.​

Spoiler: Set 1: Back in the Goof

Overview

Ethnicity: White​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Overall dress, socks, Mary Janes,​

Duration: 1 min​

Result: nothing​

Background:

First approach of the semester. I got out of class and saw her walking on a busy path.​

Notable moments:

• I approach her as we walk into a bottleneck. I pull ahead of her. I turn my head and open over my shoulder.
• "Real quick, do you know where the Fashion Building us on campus?"
• She stops and thinks for a moment before saying, "Uh, I have a map in my bag..."
• I smile, turn to face her and say, "Actually, that was just an excuse to come talk to you, but I thought you'd know; you're very stylish."
• She giggles and says, "Thank you."
• "I saw you walking from over there (*I point back and she looks in the direction*) and I asked myself. 'Who is she?'"
• She smiles. Unsure of herself, as if she had no response ready, she says, "My name is HB. I'm a 3rd year. What year are you?"
• I say, "I'm a third year too."
• She asks, going back to the opener, "Did you really want directions or did you just want to talk to me?"
• I say, "I just wanted to talk to you; the directions were an excuse."
• Then, she says, "I gotta get to class."
• I calculated that her class was about 1-2 minutes away. I panic and go for the number using a method from an old thread I can't find. "I'm interested in getting to know you better. So, let's talk some other time you aren’t busy or feeling pressured. Why don't you tell me your number?"
• She walks away as she says, "I have a boyfriend."

Let me guess; I should have just walked with her and tried to hook? Also, I don't like how going indirect-direct confused her and probably messed up the communication, but it's not like I can always go direct on campus, right?

Spoiler: Set 2: Too Slow

Overview:

Ethnicity: White​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Sundress, cardigan​

Duration: 2 mins​

Result: nothing​

Background:
Second approach of the semester, a few minutes later in a different place. I see her walking to the parking structure from quite a distance away. No doubt she is leaving, but I want a girl like her, so I feel pressured to try and learn fast.


Notable moments:

• I take a shortcut and get am walking up the path shoulder to shoulder when she turns the corner. I'm texting when she pulls ahead and I turn my head. I give a double take she doesn't notice, then smile.
• I open, "Hi there."
• She smiles warmly and says, "Hi' as we continue walking.
• I tell her, "I saw you walking from back there (*I gesture and she looks in the direction*) and I thought, 'You're stylish' and I wanted to know who you are."
• She giggles and says. "Thanks."
• I put up a neutral expression and but lift my eyebrows like 'Well?' to prod her into telling me who she is.
• She tells me her name, then asks mine. I extend my hand and she takes it. I squeeze but don't let go until she starts to pull back, all while maintaining eye contact behind my sunglasses.
• She tells me her major (English), then asks mine I reply (International Business).
• "You indeed look like a 'read poetry next to the fire' kind of girl". She giggles.
• I ask where she is headed and she tells me, "I'm headed to work."
• Silence. I expect her to talk to me, but she doesn't.
• We get near the parking lot and I panic again. I once again say, "I'm interested in getting to know you better when you aren’t busy or feeling pressured. Let's swap numbers."
• She declines politely because she has a boyfriend. The second she says thus I pull back and say I respect that. At this exact moment, we hit a crossroads and I walk away wishing her a good semester.

Maybe I should have gone for a high five or some other kino, then started a deep dive before going for the number? I just feel nervous following women into the parking lots for some reason.

Spoiler: Set 3: Confirming Suspicions

Overview:

Ethnicity: Latina​

Position: Walking​

Outfit: Jean skirt, black tank top, sneakers​

Duration: 1 minute​

Result: nothing ​

Background:

Same day. I began to notice my insecurity on the previous interaction, but associated it with an incident in my previous FR at the same place where I lost her the second I sought compliance. This time, I went tested something with someone I wasn't as interested in. I headed to a far part of campus I rarely frequent.​

Notable moments:

• I am walking down a path and see the HB walking in my direction. We exchange glances.
• Once she is near, I say, "Hey, real quick. I was wondering if you knew where the Fashion Building is."
• She stopped to think about it but said, "I don’t know." so she pulled out her phone.
• I reveal, "Really? I thought you'd know since you're so stylish." She laughs and I say, "I saw you walking from back there (*I gesture and she looks in the direction*) and I wanted to know, who is this stylish chick?'"
• She giggles and tells me her name and her major (Business). I tell her my name and offer my hand. She gives me her hand, I squeeze it, and hold on while making eye contact until she tries to pull away.
• She then asks my major and I tell her "International Business". She smiles and points out that she just came from the business part of campus we both attend but was on her way up here for another class.
• I notice a lull in the conversation, then test my theory. She is looking at me with a joyous expression and she hasn't indicated any haste. I ask her, "Why don't we go talk in the shade?" I point to the shaded benches 2 feet away.
• Predictably, she says, "Sorry, I should get to class soon."
• I wish her the best and say it was nice meeting her. She says, "Likewise," and we part on good terms.

I learned here that asking to move a set too soon kills an interaction if I don't have enough compliance. I am sure that she would have kept talking to me had I stayed put.

Questions:

1. Is it realistic for me to try to get a number after a 2-3 minute cold approach?
2. How could I try to escalate without talking too much? I'm used to going silent and letting the girl continue the conversation.
3. Should I just follow girls to their classes/cars or should I try to recover after a failed attempt at compliance?

 

[TwoNameGame]

I realized that instead of moving fast like that, I could have built intrigue! I could've said "I just noticed something about you" or told a funny story or deep dived her while remaining mysterious. Damn. I'm rusty. None of this occurred to me in the moment.