Becoming more Attractive. (Alone at home)

[Water]

How do make yourself a more attractive and alpha man through actions you can take alone.

What actions can you take at home alone that would make you noticeably more attractive?

NO PUA products.

Those who read high quality self-help books should be more attractive than their counterpart who watches dumb shows instead of

So, hears the rules and a list of ideas I have.

Rules for what you can list as advice to do:
No inner game adjacent materials or books.
NO improving your physical appearance, be it: posture, tonality, fashion, presence, tonality, etc.
No actual PUA products or drills.

So, what can men do at home to make themselves more attractive (on the inside, personality wise).






Let’s begin:

1. Eat healthy and drink healthy.

2. Stretch daily.

3. Meditate Daily.

4. Cardiovascular aerobic exercise is best for mental health.

5. Read at least 1 hour a day of top self-help book.

6. Journaling.

7. Therapy.

8. Psychiatrist.

9. Try new cool hobbies!!!
— Sky diving.
— Scuba diving.
— Ice Figure Skating.
— Travel around the world.
— Piano.
— Guitar.
— Singing.





__________________

 

[noReason]

Nothing. You’re flushing yourself down the same toilet I flushed myself down in January 2025. Go talk to women.

— Sky diving.

This is the only one I have not tried, but all the others do not work, do not matter. Field tested every line item last year, I am now AFC.

Argentine Tango seems to work for James D as a gambit and pastime.

The only thing that matters in getting women is dick in pussy, the only thing that matters for your own self worth is getting money (and status, maybe looks if you are so inclined) so you can feel good about yourself as a man (survival capability).

 

[Water]

Nothing. You’re flushing yourself down the same toilet I flushed myself down in January 2025. Go talk to women.


This is the only one I have not tried, but all the others do not work, do not matter. Field tested every line item last year, I am now AFC.

Argentine Tango seems to work for James D as a gambit and pastime.

The only thing that matters in getting women is dick in pussy, the only thing that matters for your own self worth is getting money (and status, maybe looks if you are so inclined) so you can feel good about yourself as a man (survival capability).

This was just a theory I wanted input on.

I mean a guy who watches anime all day every day versus his identical twin who reads self help books for several hours a day. Surely the one who reads is more attractive?

 

[noReason]

No, actually the exact opposite. Because the guy who watched all anime is at least living a lifestyle relatable to a hot girl’s.

Will he be better in business? Ehh… only if he’s “wired like that.”

 

[Water]

Interesting perspective. I didn’t think anybody would dispute reading self help books veing better than mindless entertainment.

How is watching anime similar to hot girls lifestyles?

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

This is something I realised which I will share is that action and evidence are superior to feelings.

And i know where you are coming from. I spent years in that place.

And if you have read few of my posts so you know that I was dealing with inner issues which are not discussed by most of puas and even men.

I kept on waiting for the perfect feelings and time to come, READ LOTS AND LOTS SELF HELP, PUA stuff,
etc since late 2016. But it never cans but what actually came was more negativity, escalation of tastes plus desensetization to women due to porn ( which created a fake identity crisis lasting nearly a decade), seeing men who knew less than me, suffered on life less than achieving more success with women while I was worried about weird things about myself.

The only thing here is that I only improved when i focused on taking real action. Hell! I even improved a lot by watching anime too. I no longer consume any pua or self material or video cuz I am saturated.

And i made a big mistake in March 2024 when I was improving at much faster rate whole only doing 5-10 approach per week that I decided to quit pickup to focus on my career and then I did social circle game and then got my heart broken cuz I was in scarcity and fell in love with the first girl who showed direct interest.

Now in 2025… i decided to quit all my addictions and focused on what I was lacking in my life all these years and how much of identity issues were true but tbh the only thing I was lacking is real experience with women. Everything is just a delusion. All these inner game issues, hesitation, etc. are just due to lack of experience and nothing else.

All my Ocds, anxieties were due to lack of experience but I was too blind to see it.

 

[Will_V]

The effect of anything you do at home will be very minimal compared to approaching and talking to women.

If there's one thing I've found to be useful though, it's to keep the same state throughout the day as you want to have when you're with her.

A lot of times when we're at home, we:

- Keep bad posture
- Let our minds become jittery and jumpy
- Let ourselves be reactive to negative things
- Entertain bad habits of body language
- etc

This means that to go out and game, we will need to shift state, which takes time and effort, and may not turn out as well as we'd like.

Particularly if, like me, you're on a computer all day which doesn't care about how cool you are, it's easy to slip into bad habits.

Instead, try and live out the person you want other people to see you as - and which you want to be - all the time. A calm, relaxed, in-control, dominant, expressive, self-aware individual.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

The effect of anything you do at home will be very minimal compared to approaching and talking to women.

If there's one thing I've found to be useful though, it's to keep the same state throughout the day as you want to have when you're with her.

A lot of times when we're at home, we:

- Keep bad posture
- Let our minds become jittery and jumpy
- Let ourselves be reactive to negative things
- Entertain bad habits of body language
- etc

This means that to go out and game, we will need to shift state, which takes time and effort, and may not turn out as well as we'd like.

Particularly if, like me, you're on a computer all day which doesn't care about how cool you are, it's easy to slip into bad habits.

Instead, try and live out the person you want other people to see you as - and which you want to be - all the time. A calm, relaxed, in-control, dominant, expressive, self-aware individual.

I will second this, in fact was ready to write in my journal that this type of state consistency is what I struggle personally a lot.

It seems hard no matter the time of the day and how tired, hungry, sleepy you are or what kind of activity you’ve been performing before to be seductive.

Do you have any practical tips?

Because even if I try to relax and be dominant before lunch my mind and body will be mostly focused on my belly and the lack of food, and similarly after an intensive work session where I go out of it feeling so logical that trying to be flirty or playful feels very off and incongruent.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

where I go out of it feeling so logical that trying to be flirty or playful feels very off and incongruent

I have been feeling numb towards women but I still took action when I can despite feelings empty inside.

I don't see any other way where I can remove my numbness and then game.

Maybe there is, but idk.

 

[Will_V]

Do you have any practical tips?

The main one would have to be meditation. It's the most effective way I know of to get out of a bad mental loop and straight into a stable and calm state.

The other main ones, at least for me, are:

1) keeping good posture, not slumping at the computer
2) maintaining a relaxed and set facial expression when working
3) moving slowly and calmly as I do whatever during the day
4) concertedly maintaining an optimistic and pleasant mood, no matter what

after an intensive work session where I go out of it feeling so logical that trying to be flirty or playful feels very off and incongruent.

That's something I can struggle with too.

Things that I've found to help include listening to music or playing the guitar/singing, reading, enjoying some yt videos of girls singing or dancing, and just anything to get into my intuitive feeling mind and out of the logical mind.

A little of that goes a long way, at some point though you just get out there and game and bootstrap your way to where you need to be.

 

[Water]

This is something I realised which I will share is that action and evidence are superior to feelings.

And i know where you are coming from. I spent years in that place.

And if you have read few of my posts so you know that I was dealing with inner issues which are not discussed by most of puas and even men.

I kept on waiting for the perfect feelings and time to come, READ LOTS AND LOTS SELF HELP, PUA stuff,
etc since late 2016. But it never cans but what actually came was more negativity, escalation of tastes plus desensetization to women due to porn ( which created a fake identity crisis lasting nearly a decade), seeing men who knew less than me, suffered on life less than achieving more success with women while I was worried about weird things about myself.

The only thing here is that I only improved when i focused on taking real action. Hell! I even improved a lot by watching anime too. I no longer consume any pua or self material or video cuz I am saturated.

And i made a big mistake in March 2024 when I was improving at much faster rate whole only doing 5-10 approach per week that I decided to quit pickup to focus on my career and then I did social circle game and then got my heart broken cuz I was in scarcity and fell in love with the first girl who showed direct interest.

Now in 2025… i decided to quit all my addictions and focused on what I was lacking in my life all these years and how much of identity issues were true but tbh the only thing I was lacking is real experience with women. Everything is just a delusion. All these inner game issues, hesitation, etc. are just due to lack of experience and nothing else.

All my Ocds, anxieties were due to lack of experience but I was too blind to see it.

Well worded.

 

[Water]

The effect of anything you do at home will be very minimal compared to approaching and talking to women.

If there's one thing I've found to be useful though, it's to keep the same state throughout the day as you want to have when you're with her.

A lot of times when we're at home, we:

- Keep bad posture
- Let our minds become jittery and jumpy
- Let ourselves be reactive to negative things
- Entertain bad habits of body language
- etc

This means that to go out and game, we will need to shift state, which takes time and effort, and may not turn out as well as we'd like.

Particularly if, like me, you're on a computer all day which doesn't care about how cool you are, it's easy to slip into bad habits.

Instead, try and live out the person you want other people to see you as - and which you want to be - all the time. A calm, relaxed, in-control, dominant, expressive, self-aware individual.

Note: I am not trying to be lazy or take short cuts.

This is a purely hypothetical topic.

I know taking action and going out is infinitely better than most of what you can do at home alone.

But, IF Hypothetically 2 identical twins with same experiences and personalities… Clones.

If one watches random streaming services all day every day, versus the other who reads self-help books, and journals and meditates,

Surely the one reading and stuff is going to be noticeably more attractive?

Note: I am also removing any usage of community or PUA materials.

And something everyone knows makes you more attractive while alone at home, exercising and maxing out your looks and presence. But I am exckuding that for this discussion.


Surely a guy who trains himself to think positively and reads positive self-help books and applies them and takes detailed notes.

Or even attends Tony Robbins events or listens to Tony Robbins audios or watches his videos.

 

[Will_V]

Note: I am not trying to be lazy or take short cuts.

This is a purely hypothetical topic.

I know taking action and going out is infinitely better than most of what you can do at home alone.

But, IF Hypothetically 2 identical twins with same experiences and personalities… Clones.

If one watches random streaming services all day every day, versus the other who reads self-help books, and journals and meditates,

Surely the one reading and stuff is going to be noticeably more attractive?

Note: I am also removing any usage of community or PUA materials.

And something everyone knows makes you more attractive while alone at home, exercising and maxing out your looks and presence. But I am exckuding that for this discussion.


Surely a guy who trains himself to think positively and reads positive self-help books and applies them and takes detailed notes.

Or even attends Tony Robbins events or listens to Tony Robbins audios or watches his videos.

In my experience I don't get an 'aura' lift by reading self help books and such. I get it by expressing myself strongly according to my identity, and doing the things I love with gusto.

I'm kind of suspicious myself of the majority of the self help movement, which seems to me to veer toward a compulsive self-consciousness and loss of touch with oneself, as opposed to a positive self-awareness and self-acceptance, which are good and valuable things.

The way I see it, Man is an animal of action, and he knows himself and becomes himself through action, and builds his concept of himself by watching himself in action and seeing his effects upon his environment. The most useful reflection a man can do is that which follows his decisive action, taking into context the results and evaluating them.

The idea of filling his head with abstract notions and concepts that are not related to his immediate experience, in order to shift his reality in some positive way, is (again in my humble opinion and experience) a very ineffectual enterprise.

 

[Water]

In my experience I don't get an 'aura' lift by reading self help books and such. I get it by expressing myself strongly according to my identity, and doing the things I love with gusto.

I'm kind of suspicious myself of the majority of the self help movement, which seems to me to veer toward a compulsive self-consciousness and loss of touch with oneself, as opposed to a positive self-awareness and self-acceptance, which are good and valuable things.

The way I see it, Man is an animal of action, and he knows himself and becomes himself through action, and builds his concept of himself by watching himself in action and seeing his effects upon his environment. The most useful reflection a man can do is that which follows his decisive action, taking into context the results and evaluating them.

The idea of filling his head with abstract notions and concepts that are not related to his immediate experience, in order to shift his reality in some positive way, is (again in my humble opinion and experience) a very ineffectual enterprise.

Good perspective.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Surely a guy who trains himself to think positively and reads positive self-help books and applies them and takes detailed notes

Sometimes, it becomes a refuge and comfort zone which people don't want to leave.

 

[Conquistador]

In my experience I don't get an 'aura' lift by reading self help books and such. I get it by expressing myself strongly according to my identity, and doing the things I love with gusto.

I'm kind of suspicious myself of the majority of the self help movement, which seems to me to veer toward a compulsive self-consciousness and loss of touch with oneself, as opposed to a positive self-awareness and self-acceptance, which are good and valuable things.

The way I see it, Man is an animal of action, and he knows himself and becomes himself through action, and builds his concept of himself by watching himself in action and seeing his effects upon his environment. The most useful reflection a man can do is that which follows his decisive action, taking into context the results and evaluating them.

The idea of filling his head with abstract notions and concepts that are not related to his immediate experience, in order to shift his reality in some positive way, is (again in my humble opinion and experience) a very ineffectual enterprise.

IMO thought is an action if and only if it leads to a durable change in one’s reality (including state of mind)

Again, for sure being infield is very important. That doesn’t negate the value, to my mind, of certain kinds pf thought.

In terms of majority of self-improvement being BS, you’re not wrong. You first have to develop or find and accept a general framework that works, and then build on that. Many guys skip that first step and take whatever they read/listen to on faith.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

How do make yourself a more attractive and alpha man through actions you can take alone.

What actions can you take at home alone that would make you noticeably more attractive?

NO PUA products.

Those who read high quality self-help books should be more attractive than their counterpart who watches dumb shows instead of

So, hears the rules and a list of ideas I have.

Rules for what you can list as advice to do:
No inner game adjacent materials or books.
NO improving your physical appearance, be it: posture, tonality, fashion, presence, tonality, etc.
No actual PUA products or drills.

So, what can men do at home to make themselves more attractive (on the inside, personality wise).






Let’s begin:

1. Eat healthy and drink healthy.

2. Stretch daily.

3. Meditate Daily.

4. Cardiovascular aerobic exercise is best for mental health.

5. Read at least 1 hour a day of top self-help book.

6. Journaling.

7. Therapy.

8. Psychiatrist.

9. Try new cool hobbies!!!
— Sky diving.
— Scuba diving.
— Ice Figure Skating.
— Travel around the world.
— Piano.
— Guitar.
— Singing.





__________________

Hey Water.
Some advice from an older guy with a lot of experience IRL.
this is a very interesting post to me to think about and explain/advise on .
Re your objective of making yourself a more attractive and alpha man.

Definition-
simply put, an ‘Alpha Man’ is a Dominant Male. That meaning
He dominates other men
and earns / is awarded the Lead of those men. He has high Status & Dominant Status/position above other , lesser men

With that definition as a basis… almost nothing you listed will lead to /result in that happening.

you must start with controlling your environment ,
then exert that control outward in your environment, into also ‘controlling’ the people in your environment.

so to be an Alpha man , you must compete with , outsmart . Manipulate, and generally Dominate other men. Your competition.

So just rewrite your list with that in mind and as a basis . And go forth , stick to the gameplan and become an Alpha man . who is very attractive to women.

Simples!
Good luck and you’re welcome
James.

 

[OldGuy]

Start with leading men. If a group is undecided and clueless, lead them to do something! The manipulation techniques work better if you are already seen as a leader.

 

[BeGoodJohnny]

Hey Water!

I'd rec doing yoga at home or mobility exercises in general/ kegels to improve posture (don't be put off because they're "feminine").

Actually, go to yoga classes to meet cool girls too

 

[Dylweed]

I was gonna say meditating. Interesting what you wrote about hobbies. Do they make you more attractive to women? I have so many fucking hobbies. Creating music, filming and editing videos (skits, informational vids, cinematic vids, music videos, storm time lapses, etc) and doing photography and going to the gym, and hiking. I feel like these are actual flaws though because they keep me distracted from my career and im like the jack of all trades but a master at none. Omg I never get bored tho I have too many hobbies lol