Break The Touch Barrier Early, and Leading Behavior

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
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Location
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On meets with girls, you’re going to have to break the touch barrier eventually if you’re planning to sleep with her. However, the longer you wait to do this, the more unusual it’s going to feel for her, and the more pressure there’s going to be for both you and the girl to do it, and for what it actually means. Imagine for instance you go on two different dates with two different girls – and for the first girl, you spend the first 90 minutes of the date not touching, then make your first move; whereas for the second girl, you touch her in the first five minutes, and then continue to have touch throughout the date. Which date will feel more natural to the girl? Long story short, if you don’t touch early, you’re dooming yourself to face a bigger uphill battle of comfort to touch later on in the process, rather than her just assuming that touch between the two of you is normal and should be expected.

Generally people make their first impressions of people within the first five to ten seconds of meeting them. Additionally, the first 5-10 minutes of a date is what sets the tone of that date. With both of these things in mind, the best way to break the touch barrier is to do it early. I recommend touching girls when ending your approach set in some warm way, and then it’s also important to touch as the very first moment of your first date, and start the escalation there. In other words, from the moment that you meet her at the venue and greet each other for Date 1, the touch should begin as a form of physical intimacy.

There are two main types of touch to consider – overt touch, and incidental touch. These are both of good use when you’re in a stationary setting with a girl. Finally there’s a third type that’s somewhere in the middle, which is what I call “leading touch,” and is used when you’re moving a girl around between venues.

Overt Touch – This is exactly what it sounds like, touching a girl overtly. Good places to do this are the small of her back, her arms and back of the elbows, and also on her thigh (sometimes having your hand just resting there). Overt touch is best executed after she’s already very comfortable with you and thinking about having sex already – it’s best used after you’ve addressed or destroyed ASD, or if you have a sexual vibe going and she’s already into it. For some guys, overt touch will come across as either too try hard, or will just make her feel too slutty – so you’ve also got to be very calibrated with this one, as some girls will love this kind of touch whereas for others it just feels too aggressive.

Incidental Touch – Incidental touch is in my view the most powerful and discreet form of touch. This kind of touch is where you simply bring your body into close proximity with hers and hold touch. Examples of this might be where you sit next to each other, but pull her in, so that the sides of your body are touching. Incidental touch is used to make her feel close to you, but not forcefully and overtly. Additionally it has the added benefit of conveying touch and sexual intent without actually seeming like you’re trying – if you’re doing this right, no one else can really obviously tell that you’re touching each other, but it seems like the two of you are close and “a thing.”

Leading Touch – This is best used when you’re leading a girl in between venues. Instead of walking alongside each other with or without a gap, or doing some kind of hand holding behavior (which for me sets too romantic a tone), instead as you’re walking grab around her upper shoulder and pull her into you, and walk in sync with her. If you do this correctly she should start to melt into you and comply, whereas if she rejects this move it means you need more comfort with her first. Girls love to be held and also to be led by a strong man, and this is what this lead is supposed to do – make the two of you feel like you’re already a unit or some kind of couple, make her feel held by a strong man, and also dominantly lead her around in between different venues.

Here are my steps in a nutshell:

  • Begin light touch and contact on the approach meet itself.
  • Begin your dates with touch in the first minute or so to break the touch barrier and set that expectation, that touch when she’s with you is just normal. For me, I like to do a double cheek kiss as I grab both her hands, and sometimes I will spin her around.
  • Start with incidental touch and escalate to overt touch if appropriate. Overt touch has the possibility to create ASD, so it’s best used only after she’s already decided she’s going to sleep with you, or is getting aroused herself. Incidental touch is powerful and discreet – keep your body physically close to hers.
  • Leading touch is best used between venues, and conveys you as a strong man and strong lead. Use your entire body to move her around and walk as if you’re a unit – and grab her around the upper shoulder and walk strongly with her to the next spot. You can even do this to lead her directly into your apartment building.
 
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