Cooling Off Period?

Tanathip

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 26, 2015
Messages
16
Location
Bangkok, Thailand
Hi Guys,

After reading a post back in 2011 about getting girls back, Chase mentioned a few strategies. One of which was to "Let her cool off".

So I have a girl with whom I have met on Facebook. As of writing, this is the 9th day since we first talked.
The first 2 days went on with no hitches and issues. She was excited to talk to me, get on the phone with me, exchanged webcams and all. Oh, and for the first 3 days, she would send me a "Wake up text" (kinda cute, no? This is what a lot of Thai girls I have dated do)

Now, as with other girls I have met so far, I wanted to move fast, and so I asked for the meetup. She was excited at the prospect but when I went on to setup the date, time and place, she became evasive. She would say something along the lines of "My schedule isn't predictable so I'll let you know later."

Red flag.

So I went back to texting her again. This time, I noticed that she was sending mixed signals. At one moment, she would go hot and text me rapidly. Other times, she would go dead silent until I texted her. When I tried to schedule a call (as it was taking forever for her to text back), she would say she'll be available from this time to that time, but when I really called her up, she'd say that she "was with her mother". Well, all kinds of excuses.

Today, I put on the last bet. I went straight and asked for a date, saying that I was "a little too busy to text". She said she wanted to meet, and then would enthusiastically chat with me on the text (with rapid reply).
I decided to cut it off fast before I went into the texting dead-end and went on to say "I'm kinda lazy to type, so call me when you can alright? :)"

As expected, radio silence.

So I decided to deploy the reverse tactic. Reason being, I may have been a bit too pushy trying to get this girls time (a.k.a. calls and meetups) without firstly stacking up compliance. I may have shown some form of neediness with me realizing.

So here is what I did:
I sent her a very vague text, saying this.

"Hey [GIRL'S NAME], I don't think I can meet up with you anymore..."
"Sorry about that, mkay?"

And then I immediately proceeded to block her on the chat app. (This app, fortunately, does not let the other party know if they are blocked. Their messages simply wouldn't go through). I thought that blocking her from our most frequently used app would get my mind out of her the fastest. (We only chatted on Facebook initially before moving to a different chatting app.)

I still, however, leave the Facebook unblocked as it would be too obvious of the sign if I blocked her. I instead unfollowed her so that she would no longer appear on my feed. That would be the only remaining communication channel I left out for her if she really wanted to reach me.

Now comes the real question:
How long should I wait before I reapproach her? What is the optimal time length?

I noticed that with some girls, if I wait too long before reinitiating contact, they'd get really cold and I would lose them forever.

Up until now, I have only been sleeping with rather easy girls. I want to try and outgame girls of this caliber who, as it appears, know what they are doing.
And if there is anything else I should do, please let me know.

Additional Information:
- She could be an attention whore, the way I see it.
- She has only broken up with her boyfriend last month. Seems like she's looking for a rebound boyfriend. (She even told me that the reason she added me on Facebook was because she was lonely).

Please advise :)
Jay
 

Tanathip

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 26, 2015
Messages
16
Location
Bangkok, Thailand
UPDATE: She texted me on Facebook saying:
"Aww, that's too bad :( Are you free on Saturday then?"

Looks like the game is tipping in my favor. Should I:
- Continue to ignore her (does that risk her getting into auto-rejection?)
- Go to the originally planned place of date and time (which is closer to her town than mine)
- Get more investment from her by having her come to my area (I might go and say "Hey, what about you come over to my area then? If you travel all the way here, I'll treat you to a nice meal).

Should or should not?
Thanks
 

Lover

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
419
Location
Europe
Tanathip said:
"Hey [GIRL'S NAME], I don't think I can meet up with you anymore..."
"Sorry about that, mkay?"
"Sorry about that" and no explanation ;D You don't sound like you really mean it haha

Tanathip said:
"Aww, that's too bad :( Are you free on Saturday then?"
And this girl isn't even interested in an explanation.

If you say yes, it looks weird. You said you couldn't meet her anymore, then she proposes a day, and suddenly you're going to meet her? Sorry to put it like this, but she just outgamed you :p

What goes through her head if you say yes now? She knows how easy it is to keep you in the loop. Does this make you attractive in her eyes? Not one bit I'm afraid. Girls don't like when guys are easily "caught" like this.

Generally, don't use such tactics unless you're truly ready to let them go.

If you want to keep playing though... you do one of two things
1) ignore her completely. After all, your frame is that you can't see her anymore, right?

2) tell her that it's kind of her to want to meet up now, but you're moving on.

In both cases, see if she reaches out to you again later. If she doesn't, she isn't interested. She didn't even call you when you asked her to.. don't expect much of her

But if she does reach out, make her reach out at least twice before you consider her an option. In the meantime, meet new girls and see if she is still worth it.
 

Fluxcapacitor

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
299
Tanathip dude she's totally out gamed ya and what's worse is ya put yourself in that position! By messaging an saying ya can't see her ya saying this is trying to get her attention an accepting the date now looks weak an she's in control cause ya easy to play.

Ya provoked a response but she went for the kill with it. Ya need to ignore it really an see if she comes back again. If she comes back she's interested.

There's a third option for me that lover missed an that's saying thanks for the offer but ya busy. Ya don't have to say what ya busy doing but whatever it is ya don't have time for her. Ya can be bold an game with this by saying ya really busy for the next 2 weeks an won't have time. This might provoke her to reschedule in a few weeks if she's interested.

If she does this immediately don't bite! Ya have time an other stuff to be doing. Only set plans up here if she really insists an means it.

Typically speaking a cool of period is about 6 weeks to reengage. Have just asked bout this in the general forum to see thoughts on reengaging is worth it or if ya better off chasing a little to turn it about instead an just how much chasing is acceptable here
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,975
Location
Australia
This does sound a bit like a girl I talked to in my brief foray into Tinder. I did have hopes for this girl because we had a really cool flirt thing going and lots of teasing and sexy stories and some in-jokes, however, became evasive when suggested to move from Tinder messaging to text etc. So, regretfully I decided to cut the cord. Told her I would be deleting Tinder account at a certain time, and then did it, so she could not contact me anymore, since she was attention-whoring as far as I could determine. I believe the thing to do is set a hard boundary so that she knows the consequences of non-compliance, and then stick to that boundary. It is all you can do really.
cheers, Ray
PS. Is the chat app LINE? I've always liked the way the "read" indications and blocking works. Though it was frustrating to get blocked by a girl I laid. Buyer's remorse, and I really liked this girl. It took me a few days to realize I was blocked, then so annoyed :(
 

Tanathip

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 26, 2015
Messages
16
Location
Bangkok, Thailand
Tanathip dude she's totally out gamed ya and what's worse is ya put yourself in that position! By messaging an saying ya can't see her ya saying this is trying to get her attention an accepting the date now looks weak an she's in control cause ya easy to play.

Ya provoked a response but she went for the kill with it. Ya need to ignore it really an see if she comes back again. If she comes back she's interested.

There's a third option for me that lover missed an that's saying thanks for the offer but ya busy. Ya don't have to say what ya busy doing but whatever it is ya don't have time for her. Ya can be bold an game with this by saying ya really busy for the next 2 weeks an won't have time. This might provoke her to reschedule in a few weeks if she's interested.

If she does this immediately don't bite! Ya have time an other stuff to be doing. Only set plans up here if she really insists an means it.

Typically speaking a cool of period is about 6 weeks to reengage. Have just asked bout this in the general forum to see thoughts on reengaging is worth it or if ya better off chasing a little to turn it about instead an just how much chasing is acceptable here
Yup, I was totally blown. I have basically taken my mind off of her and onto tons of other girls. Somehow, she still comes on to my posts on Facebook and reacts/likes them.
I do agree with your cool off period of at least 6 weeks. Just yesterday I re-engaged with a girl I screwed up with last year and BOOM, now we are having sex. Goes without saying that time changes people.

PS. Is the chat app LINE? I've always liked the way the "read" indications and blocking works. Though it was frustrating to get blocked by a girl I laid. Buyer's remorse, and I really liked this girl. It took me a few days to realize I was blocked, then so annoyed :(
Glad to hear that LINE is popular in Australia as well, haha. Yeah, that's the app. I kinda hate it how it hogs my smartphone storage :p
 
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