Cultivating the X Factor

Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
346
How often do you generally do it?
I used to do it almost every night lol, helped me sleep, but lately I've been so busy I don't need much of anything to sleep, so maybe each 2, 3 days, depends (if I'm seeing my girl often I won't even do it).
I'm kinda sick atm so I managed to get one out this morning, makes my mind feel like I'm not tooo sick you know hehe
 

Beam

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Jan 17, 2019
Messages
637
Bro could you give us some pointers on how you approach - like what you use as openers and what you stack with post-opener?

IIRC you were saying something like: "Has anyone ever told you you have a great sense of style?" am I correct?
The first thing I try to do is pre-open – make sure that I’m in her sight first. Something I’m still working on. As for the actual approach, it varies depending on the situation. Generally I like situational openers best. If there is no good situational opener, a comment on what she is wearing/her style/something else about her. Lastly if I can’t think of anything else (she might be beautiful but just wearing normal clothes, nothing exceptional), or she’s walking past and about to disappear forever, I’ll go direct. For the latter two, if we're walking past each other in opposite directions, I'll walk past her and then jog back, as if I've had time to think about it and decided I want to talk to her (as opposed to just straight opening her which might make her think you do this to every hot girl walking past)

Some examples of how I do it:

1. Situational

Infinite options here, it’s different every time

B: "Aren't you cold? I'm wearing a jacket and I'm freezing"
B: "Hey, do you know where the milk is around here?" while in the supermarket directly in front of the milk - then transitioning direct "just kidding, I saw you and thought you were cute"

2. Style opener:

B: “Hey! Girl in the black dress!” (In a commanding yet non-threatening tone) - stop, pause while she registers you
B: “I saw you walking past, and thought to myself “that girl has such a great sense of style, I have to go back and find out who she is. I’m loving the all black”

3. Direct opener (for when I can’t think of anything else, actually used this word for word with my ex and a lot of others:

B: “Hey! Girl in the *whatever she’s wearing* (Again, in a commanding non-threatening tone) - stop, pause while she registers you
B: “I saw you walking past, and thought to myself “that girl is gorgeous, I have to go back and find out who she is.”

For the second and third examples I always frame it with her in the third person – “Thought to myself that girl”. Not sure why I like it, but perhaps it builds more trust when you relay the thoughts going through your head. I like doing it this way.

From here she’ll usually thank you.

Then, immediately I’ll transition to the next golden question (taken from Hectors DG course), simply asking her what she’s doing:

“Going for a walk?”

“Browsing to find out what to cook tonight?”

Purpose of this is to demonstrate that you want to talk to her, that you weren’t just giving her a compliment and then going on your way.

Next will generally exchange names, and then roughly try to hit the following points in the course of the interaction (which is around 5-7 minutes) @GrandPooba put this together initially, I have added a couple of things.

  • Three deep dives (where she works, what she enjoys, where she's from. Try to make an observational cold read on these to make the interaction a bit more interesting.
  • Two qualifiers (single complement on style/appearance, second on personality). Never two on the same topic. Style/Appearance is already sorted on the opener generally, the second is after talking to her for a bit.
  • Share some details about yourself so she knows you on some level, so you aren’t just a random stranger.
  • Push Pull (if she says something that you might not like even in the slightest bit, exaggerate that you hate it and walk away “conversation over” in a jokey way before returning with a smirk
  • We frame (Date idea, idea of us doing something together to plant that idea in her mind)
  • Chase frame
  • Elicitation of values and deep rapport
  • Close physical proximity throughout the entire interaction
  • Double cheek kiss goodbye (to establish more physical contact)
  • Energetic open yet grounded presence throughout interaction. Deep voice.
I have a lot to improve upon, I don’t hit all these points most of the time (including yesterdays number close. But for me it’s a good benchmark to work towards. Would love to here if anyone else has anything that would be useful to add
 
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Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
2,841
Location
South Florida
The first thing I try to do is pre-open – make sure that I’m in her sight first. Something I’m still working on. As for the actual approach, it varies depending on the situation. Generally I like situational openers best. If there is no good situational opener, a comment on what she is wearing/her style/something else about her. Lastly if I can’t think of anything else (she might be beautiful but just wearing normal clothes, nothing exceptional), or she’s walking past and about to disappear forever, I’ll go direct. For the latter two, if we're walking past each other in opposite directions, I'll walk past her and then jog back, as if I've had time to think about it and decided I want to talk to her (as opposed to just straight opening her which might make her think you do this to every hot girl walking past)

Some examples of how I do it:

1. Situational

Infinite options here, it’s different every time



2. Style opener:



3. Direct opener (for when I can’t think of anything else, actually used this word for word with my ex and a lot of others:




For the second and third examples I always frame it with her in the third person – “Thought to myself that girl”. Not sure why I like it, but perhaps it builds more trust when you relay the thoughts going through your head. I like doing it this way.

From here she’ll usually thank you.

Then, immediately I’ll transition to the next golden question (taken from Hectors DG course), simply asking her what she’s doing:



Purpose of this is to demonstrate that you want to talk to her, that you weren’t just giving her a compliment and then going on your way.

Next will generally exchange names, and then roughly try to hit the following points in the course of the interaction (which is around 5-7 minutes) @GrandPooba put this together initially, I have added a couple of things.

  • Three deep dives (where she works, what she enjoys, where she's from. Try to make an observational cold read on these to make the interaction a bit more interesting.
  • Two qualifiers (single complement on style/appearance, second on personality). Never two on the same topic. Style/Appearance is already sorted on the opener generally, the second is after talking to her for a bit.
  • Share some details about yourself so she knows you on some level, so you aren’t just a random stranger.
  • Push Pull (if she says something that you might not like even in the slightest bit, exaggerate that you hate it and walk away “conversation over” in a jokey way before returning with a smirk
  • We frame (Date idea, idea of us doing something together to plant that idea in her mind)
  • Chase frame
  • Elicitation of values and deep rapport
  • Close physical proximity throughout the entire interaction
  • Double cheek kiss goodbye (to establish more physical contact)
  • Energetic open yet grounded presence throughout interaction. Deep voice.
I have a lot to improve upon, I don’t hit all these points most of the time (including yesterdays number close. But for me it’s a good benchmark to work towards. Would love to here if anyone else has anything that would be useful to add
Ha! Reminds me of back in the day when i got started,

"Girl with the red dress, girl with the red dress" with a fake deep voice to get their attention, the black natural i learned from used to do that a lot....good stuff beam..

P.s. the question follow by nevermind just wanted to meet u blah blah, is not situational more like bait and switch opener works well....
 

Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
346
For the second and third examples I always frame it with her in the third person – “Thought to myself that girl”. Not sure why I like it, but perhaps it builds more trust when you relay the thoughts going through your head. I like doing it this way.
I think it's cool, you put the girl less on the spotlight, less chance she feels startled, I think.

is not situational more like bait and switch
Yeah it's indirect direct, as Chase calls it

Double cheek kiss goodbye (to establish more physical contact)
How do you go for this? Here in Brazil I guess it's more of a girls thing, I think if I try, when I'm going to give the second one, she's already turning her head and I might kiss something else... Could go well, or not, dunno lmao
 

Beam

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
637
P.s. the question follow by nevermind just wanted to meet u blah blah, is not situational more like bait and switch opener works well....
Yeah I sort of paused before using that example because I wasn't sure, thank for the clarification.
 

Beam

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
637
I used to do it almost every night lol, helped me sleep, but lately I've been so busy I don't need much of anything to sleep, so maybe each 2, 3 days, depends (if I'm seeing my girl often I won't even do it).
I'm kinda sick atm so I managed to get one out this morning, makes my mind feel like I'm not tooo sick you know hehe
I'm at once a night average but have cut down in the last couple of days. It's been hard (literally lol)

How do you go for this? Here in Brazil I guess it's more of a girls thing, I think if I try, when I'm going to give the second one, she's already turning her head and I might kiss something else... Could go well, or not, dunno lmao

So a confession, this particular part I was still in the process of field testing myself when I got into the relo - but I did get the suggestion from a seduction channel - I think it was HonestSignalz. The couple of times I did it the girls were a little surprised. I did it in a more exaggerated, almost flamboyant way (picture someone doing an exaggerated "mwuh" kiss sound when doing it) with a sly smile at the end rather than one you'd do at a family gathering. I think it was well received but need to field test more - I think that's how HonestSignalz did it but need to look again as it's been a while.

Even here in Australia it's more of a girls thing - maybe it's showing a touch of feminine which could be sexy. See this article. This is speculation and take it with a grain of salt, I need to field test more.
 
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Beam

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
637
Went out with some mates last night. Was pretty dead for the most part. Earlier in the night opened a few tables where the girls looked at me like I was a freak and clearly just wanted to go back to talking to their friends. Feelsbadman. Getting such dismissive reactions from these women after working out like a madman ,wearing my new style of clothes (which my guy friends have complimented me on) and feeling open and warm feels like shit. Though there's probably something they're sniffing out on my approach. In fact now I write it out it's clear. I'm expecting a good reaction rather than going into it not caring about the outcome. One of my biggest struggles.

Later on, started warming myself up a bit and went to the d floor with two mates. Two girls introduced themselves to me - they were both close and one was literally throwing herself at me (reached for my dick within 1 minute and wherever I was would appear in front and back right into me. She was clearly drunk though which was a shame because she was super cute.

Last place we went to had a d-floor and pool tables. Opened two girls sitting near the pool table and they were polite but nothing more. Then my mate and I started playing pool against the guys they were with (who had been playing when I approached them). I was on fire and noticed when I would sink impressive shots the girls would just be staring at me afterwards with that look. Lol. A bunch of others nearby were dancing and one in particular would come up right in front of me dancing and staring while I was angling the shot. She was clearly an attention seeker though. Ended up winning but by then we were all buggered and left.
 
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Beam

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
637
Style upgrade -more jewellery. Started doing this with a single necklace ages ago . Last night decided to add a second necklace and ring I had lying around. Went out - IOIs like crazy from the moment I walked out the door. Met up with a group - strong signs of attraction from the girls in the group but the one I really had my eye on (who I also noticed kept trying to get closer to me) had a boyfriend (my mate told me this - I spent a lot of time talking to her but didn't find this out - obviously that's a problem - could have spent that time on other available girls. Need to screen for this early.

My ego started getting in the way. This always happens when I suddenly start getting much more attention. I start acting like an aloof hot guy not talking to as many people instead of being open and making an effort and talking to as many people as possible. I don't know what it is - it's like I want to maintain an image - I'm afraid that with all eyes on me I'll look extra foolish if blown out. My ego needs to be destroyed because it is holding me back like crazy.

A while back in this post I told a story of how I wore a disco outfit out last year and felt like a celebrity, and trying to think of ways to stand out like that normally. Last night based on the positive response I learnt that jewellery and other accessories can play a big part in that (well deep down I knew that, I just didn't believe I could really rock the look but I proved myself wrong) As a result I went out today and bought some more jewellery (watch, ring and bracelets).

5 DG approaches today:

1. Girl in activewear. Not getting too much back - by the end it was like I was interrogating her to get anything out. 5 mins all up.
2. Walking in front of me. Didn't see her face but she looked hot from behind. Opened (startled her by accident) but noticed she was not really that cute. I felt bad ejecting because she seemed genuinely flattered and I feel expected me to keep talking. I didn't want to for fear of missing out on other opportunities.
3. Had a boyfriend - she looked familiar and had an almost knowing smile about her too - I feel like I might have approached her before, last year.
4. Stylish in all black. Fumbled open a bit. Wanted to keep the conversation going but she had to get to work. I told her "Tell them that you met an attractive and sexy man on the way over and that's why you were late, they'll understand". She laughed and told me I'd made her day but then left. Delivery of the last line could have been more commanding and playful - I sounded quite monotone when saying it.
5. Sitting down waiting for food. Super gorgeous tanned blonde in a leather jacket with tatts and piercings. Had quite a long conversation - but I was standing and she was sitting waiting for her friend to come back and there wasn't anywhere nearby to sit down so was quite awkward. She was an actress (without any roles yet apparently). Interaction was less man to woman - she was clearly the one with the power in the situation and I supplicated a bit "I won't be here too long". As if I was bothering her. Went for an insta at the end (knew number wouldn't work) but she still politely declined.

Still too time inefficient. Walked around for hours. Could have approached 20 girls in the time it took me to do 5. Especially now with so many other parts of my life that I neglected still being a problem, I need to really become more efficient and just talk to more damn girls instead of skipping out on so many opportunities. Fuck my ego
 
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Beam

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
637
1 DG approach and number close yesterday, 5-8 minute interaction. No response to ice breaker again. Obviously something very wrong. She was cute, but I think Will Vs recent posts may explain it. I still am on some level seeing it like work, and most girls I see aren't as attractive as my ex was, there's less excitement from me as a result and they can probably tell I'm partly just going through the motions.
 
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