Date has been stalled - Increase odds of meeting

[Wolf]

There's a cute Spanish girl I met in person a while back, but we had a break of contact as I was busy with a couple of other girls. Now that one is over, we've been messaging again, and she seems pretty interested (her texts are longer and she does winks).

She's agreed to go for a drink with me. However, it's been stalled as she had a holiday, and again for a week since she's starting a new job. I'd like to see her and for this not to simply fizzle out. What strategy / phrases could I text that ensure we do go for that drink?

Thanks, you're all awesome!

 

[psheer]

I'd like to see her and for this not to simply fizzle out. What strategy / phrases could I text that ensure we do go for that drink?

I've had this happen before too. I'd recommend something like this:
"Hey X, hope your new job is going well. [Maybe insert something you're currently up to]. Shall we grab that drink we discussed earlier?"

Hope everything works out,
psheer

 

[dcman]

Spanish girls tend to take things slow . so call and talk to her and see if she will meet up with you and push things when she is with you

 

[Wolf]

Thanks for the reply guys!

"Hey X, hope your new job is going well. [Maybe insert something you're currently up to]. Shall we grab that drink we discussed earlier?"

Good idea, though I'll likely shorten it to not seem too keen. The reality is she's a really decent girl, but she can't know this yet

Hope everything works out

I appreciate your wishes, Psheer.

Spanish girls tend to take things slow

I think you're right, Dcman. She shows interest, but things can only escalate by meeting.

I've decided to wait it out a few days before I do anything, since people tend to want what they can't have. And I'm fairly busy anyway, as I've started working out again, reading more, and other responsibilities. Thanks for all your thoughts!

 

[Wolf]

We were going to meet tonight, but she flaked and asked to reschedule for next Friday, as she has furniture being delivered tonight. She’s responsive in texts and I’m avoiding over contacting. But I’ve no idea why she’s flaking. I may do pickup anyway.

Next Friday isn’t that ideal for me. Flake her or give an ultimatum about it being whatever day or not at all?

I realise the longer we don’t meet, the less likely it happens, so putting my foot down seems best to show I’m serious about this. I haven’t replied her as I’m unsure what to say that enables me to lead the situation.

 

[dcman]

Hi Wolf ,

I meet a girl from the Spanish Bosque community who was acting the same she would send messages but when it comes to meeting in person would try for reasons to not meet . I realized Unlike American girls these girls need more comfort to be built before they felt at ease to meet.while I agree it is easy to build comfort in person rather than phone in this case using the phone was the option that worked for me. Normally Spanish and latin girls find it hard to say no in person or in a phone call than by text messages. Instead of asking her out I just called her a couple of times built more comfort then she had no problems meeting me.Pushing her to meet would have just lowered my value. My suggestion is if I were in your situation is I would not respond to her offer to meet Friday . She has already flaked at the last minute and if you agree it would lower your value. Just ignore her for a few days and call her . Talk to her get to know her a bit but do not propose another meet. do it afterwards in a second phone call or message her for a meet to see how she responds.

 

[Wolf]

Thanks for the advice, dcman. It’s useful to hear your story.

Chase’s article on flaking suggests acting like it’s not a big deal will make her feel comfortable to meet, since her agreeing in the first place shows it’s unlikely an issue with interest. So I decided on a hybrid method using both your ideas. I didn’t text her for around 7 hours and I noticed her online a lot more than usual during this time. Then I texted her to say, ‘No need to explain, we’ll reschedule later. You moving flat?’ She seems to text as usual now. I sent a follow up reply to hers, and now the balls back in my court.

I can reschedule on my terms. And I’ve shown confidence we will meet, as I didn’t reschedule on her terms (like you say). I now realise it’s likely a comfort issue, since I’ve been focussed on getting her out. So I’ll build comfort over the next couple of days and plan another day to hang out. Thanks for your help!

 

[Wolf]

The good news... I built comfort using a casual WhatsApp voice message and couple texts, we then met for that drink, and had a great chat. The bad news... she was 10mins late so I got a drink and a table. When she arrived we hugged and she sat opposite. Despite this, I escalated kino by touching her hands and arm, but I couldn't do much with the distance / obstacle.

I ensured she spoke more and I looked away a bit to not appear too keen (unless she was looking at me). She was receptive, laughed a lot, and the conversation was great. In fact, she was very easy to talk to... I barely had to make the effort I do with some girls. Next time I should move her to another room / bar / dance floor / a walk, so I can continue escalating, or go to the toilet and come back to a different seat, but it may be less welcome after breaking conversation.

Whilst chatting, I told her in Spanish she's beautiful, and her eyes are windows to her soul. She blushed a bit and had a big smile. I think she's the good girl type and likes to be responsible (though admitted a little crazy is fine sometimes). I asked if she finds me attractive and she said, 'yes, you look good'. It's hard to know if she's being nice or just shy. Many girls say I'm good looking.

After 2 hours, she said she's meeting a friend soon (girl). I should probably ask girls their plans for the night / day, so I know how long I have. She allowed me to walk her to where she'd meet her. We had a nice chat, I pulled her toward me, and we hugged a minute. She told me it had been fun, but... Then we continued chatting. Later I kissed her cheeks with no issue, then went to kiss her lips. This wasn't accepted, which is likely due to not being able to escalate enough before / not making the kiss happen quicker. She agreed to kiss my cheeks, and I finished with a kiss on her forehead. I did it to build compliance.

She seemed happy to teach me more Spanish and I mentioned salsa dancing... she said there are classes, but I told her I'd like to learn the basics from her. At the bar she agreed to see me again, but I'm unsure if she will, since she wanted to wait alone for the last few minutes and hasn't replied my text saying I had a nice time. I'd like to see her again.

- What can I say to get a second date? - And when shall I text it? (We met Friday night).

I think next time I'll take her for a drink on the beach so it's easier to escalate. And she may be more willing on the second date anyway.

 

[Cacc]

The good news... I built comfort using a casual WhatsApp voice message and couple texts, we then met for that drink, and had a great chat. The bad news... she was 10mins late so I got a drink and a table. When she arrived we hugged and she sat opposite. Despite this, I escalated kino by touching her hands and arm, but I couldn't do much with the distance / obstacle.

Call her out on arriving late. Be playful about it, tell her something like, "alright well since you're late you get to pay for my next drink". Doesn't matter if she does it or not, the point is she'll start taking your time seriously, thus she respects you more for it. By not saying anything you tell her you don't care if people waste your time, thus your time must not be important. Her sitting opposite of you is easy to fix. A couple minutes during conversation when she's gotten comfortable, just tell her to sit next to you.

I ensured she spoke more and I looked away a bit to not appear too keen (unless she was looking at me). She was receptive, laughed a lot, and the conversation was great. In fact, she was very easy to talk to... I barely had to make the effort I do with some girls. Next time I should move her to another room / bar / dance floor / a walk, so I can continue escalating, or go to the toilet and come back to a different seat, but it may be less welcome after breaking conversation.

Why next time? Why not then and there?

After 2 hours, she said she's meeting a friend soon (girl). I should probably ask girls their plans for the night / day, so I know how long I have. She allowed me to walk her to where she'd meet her. We had a nice chat, I pulled her toward me, and we hugged a minute. She told me it had been fun, but... Then we continued chatting. Later I kissed her cheeks with no issue, then went to kiss her lips. This wasn't accepted, which is likely due to not being able to escalate enough before / not making the kiss happen quicker. She agreed to kiss my cheeks, and I finished with a kiss on her forehead. I did it to build compliance.

You spoke to her for 2 hours in the same spot and didn't do anything? When you came out to meet her, what was your goal? Did you even have one? You need to have a goal and a plan to execute that goal.

Example: Meet her, make some small talk and deep dive her, start light touching, ask for compliance, connect with her deeper, touch her harder, ask for bigger compliance, move her, take her home, overcome lmr, sleep with her.

It's a simple example but the point is you always need to have a plan or you're bound to not get anything done.

since she wanted to wait alone for the last few minutes and hasn't replied my text saying I had a nice time. I'd like to see her again.

- What can I say to get a second date? - And when shall I text it? (We met Friday night).

I'm 99% sure she it's over. Which is fine, learn from your mistakes.

But if you want to try regardless, my advice is stop talking to her for 2 weeks. Let her forget about the experience. After 2 weeks tell her you've been really busy and set up a date. If she says yes, move faster and push for sex, she gave you a second chance. If she texts you beforehand, tell her the same thing and set a date.

 

[Wolf]

Thank you for your honesty, Cacc. It's the only way I'll improve.

Call her out on arriving late. Be playful about it, tell her something like, "alright well since you're late you get to pay for my next drink". Doesn't matter if she does it or not, the point is she'll start taking your time seriously, thus she respects you more for it.

Great idea, I'll remember this.

Her sitting opposite of you is easy to fix. A couple minutes during conversation when she's gotten comfortable, just tell her to sit next to you.

- If she says she's fine do I insist, or build comfort and try later? How to make the offer harder to refuse?

Why next time? Why not then and there?

It's a fair point. I should learn from mistakes, but also try to not make them. I can't rely on second chances with attractive women.

You need to have a goal and a plan to execute that goal.

Example: Meet her, make some small talk and deep dive her, start light touching, ask for compliance, connect with her deeper, touch her harder, ask for bigger compliance, move her, take her home, overcome lmr, sleep with her.

It's a simple example but the point is you always need to have a plan or you're bound to not get anything done.

- What sort of things could I ask her to do? (compliance).

- Is there a smooth way to initiate a kiss after heavy touching, without leaning in obviously? I figure turn her face by the chin to guide her.

- Tell her what I want to do, or just take it?

I assume the latter, but I'm wary to take her off guard. For example, today I had an instant date with a girl from Italy. We touched each other as is common for Italians. Then I touched her leg and she told me not so near her ass haha. I don't think it was, but I couldn't reach further without it looking forced. We sat next to each other on separate chairs, but not placed right against. She was definitely interested, but didn't want more as she was going home that night. She even said I made her a bit nervous / shy, so I assume I'm learning and was more sexually aggressive. I often get numbers easier than escalating.

I'm sure I'll run into extra lmr, as I can't always bring girls back to my place (sometimes I can). There's the beach, which is harder to pull off first time. Or her place if I suggest a movie and night cap with her, but it'd be hard to invite myself and get her to accept.

I'm 99% sure she it's over. Which is fine, learn from your mistakes.

But if you want to try regardless, my advice is stop talking to her for 2 weeks. Let her forget about the experience. After 2 weeks tell her you've been really busy and set up a date. If she says yes, move faster and push for sex, she gave you a second chance. If she texts you beforehand, tell her the same thing and set a date.

Thanks for the advice. I'll wait and then try, since we clicked on a conversational level. I just have to learn to escalate faster and quicker, towards an actual goal. You may be saving me from several wasted dates, which I really appreciate!

 

[dcman]

The bad news... she was 10mins late so I got a drink and a table.

Spain is a laid back culture and even for business meetings people arrive late different from the USA where punctuality is expected. Normally I plan on arriving around 10 -15 minutes late to avoid needing to wait.

I ensured she spoke more and I looked away a bit to not appear too keen (unless she was looking at me). She was receptive, laughed a lot, and the conversation was great. In fact, she was very easy to talk to... I barely had to make the effort I do with some girls.

use the conversations to find more about her that you can use to build attraction. what kind of men attracts her etc and also introduce sex talk in an indirect manner to see how she responds to it . besides the small talk try to work on building sexual attraction in your interactions. Alex roasted has a podcast about turning conversation sexual it could provide a good starting point.

Next time I should move her to another room / bar / dance floor / a walk, so I can continue escalating, or go to the toilet and come back to a different seat, but it may be less welcome after breaking conversation.

No Kino escalation in public has its limit. It alone cannot be used for building sexual tension in a public place. In night places or when a girl is physically attracted in a strong manner just Kino esclation is sufficient. But in situations like these use a combination of visual , verbal and touching to build attraction.

Whilst chatting, I told her in Spanish she's beautiful, and her eyes are windows to her soul. She blushed a bit and had a big smile. I think she's the good girl type and likes to be responsible (though admitted a little crazy is fine sometimes). I asked if she finds me attractive and she said, 'yes, you look good'. It's hard to know if she's being nice or just shy. Many girls say I'm good looking.

you should know and feel confident about yourself . do not ask for a validation from a girl that you are trying to attract. personally in most cases I like to wait till I am sexually escalating to tell a girl how attractive I find her. till then I like to keep them guessing if I like them or not .
ask her to explain meaning of seductive , sexual words in Spanish as these help to build attraction.

After 2 hours, she said she's meeting a friend soon (girl). I should probably ask girls their plans for the night / day, so I know how long I have.

the advantage of a laid back culture is girls change or cancel plans with friends. I have made girls modify or cancel their plans with others to be with me with ease once I had them attracted. work on building the attraction process and you will find girls will always have time for you.

Later I kissed her cheeks with no issue, then went to kiss her lips. This wasn't accepted, which is likely due to not being able to escalate enough before / not making the kiss happen quicker. She agreed to kiss my cheeks, and I finished with a kiss on her forehead.

the attraction was not there or may be she was not ready to kiss there . If it is a public place and her friend was near it could be a reason for holding back. during the walk try next time to have her hold hands . It would give a good indicator of the sexual attraction she has as I feel that in this interaction you did not build it.

- What can I say to get a second date? - And when shall I text it? (We met Friday night).

Personally I would not bother trying to meet a girl that has not bothered to reply to my message. group hang outs/ dates are common in Spain that can be used as option.

I think next time I'll take her for a drink on the beach so it's easier to escalate.

work on building your verbal game as you cannot be hoping to be on the beach always to build attraction.

 

[Wolf]

Use the conversations to find more about her that you can use to build attraction. what kind of men attracts her etc and also introduce sex talk in an indirect manner to see how she responds to it . Alex roasted has a podcast about turning conversation sexual.

Thanks for your thoughts Dcman, I'll check it out! What are some good indirect sexual questions I can ask her?

In situations like these use a combination of visual , verbal and touching to build attraction.

I assume visual is eye contact. I'm starting to realise this, as not every time I touch a girl they touch back... especially in daygame or reserved cultures.

I had a drink with an Italian woman and I think I was more sexually aggressive, since she said I make her nervous, then laughed. All I did was touch beyond hands or arms... I touched her back and leg. And I said I liked her body now I see it better without the coat, etc. She was leaving that night and I wasn't super attracted as I prefer younger women, but it was great escalation practise.

I figure excuses to touch her is better than just touching... e.g. asking to see her jewellery / watch, wanting to see how she feels / how good her hugs are, removing fluff from her hair / outfit, saying to sit near / this side so I can hear clearly, holding her hand and saying it's soft and if she moisturises it, asking for a back / shoulder rub as it aches after exercise, saying I want to tell a secret and whispering a compliment, etc...

You should know and feel confident about yourself . do not ask for a validation from a girl that you are trying to attract. personally in most cases I like to wait till I am sexually escalating to tell a girl how attractive I find her. till then I like to keep them guessing if I like them or not.

Thank you, Dcman. Most of the time I'm sure of myself. I assumed it was a good way to bring up sexual conversation. I also use it as an opener in daygame... I used to indirectly ask directions and then small talk, but that led to numbers with no dates. Then I tried indirect openers and saying I like them, which works pretty well. And recently I open directly with 'Hi, I love your outfit / (clothing item) / (hair), it looks great on you / you're beautiful'. Not ideal for Asian cultures, and no approach is 100% perfect, but I'm getting numbers and some interest due to making my intent clear. Although this takes away some mystery of liking them or not, as you say...

ask her to explain meaning of seductive , sexual words in Spanish as these help to build attraction.

So should I only ask for Spanish word meanings, or also to translate words from English? Her explaining means she has to think about sex. The great thing is when I said Spanish before was the only time she leaned across the table to hear properly. This could be a sneaky way to get compliance.

If it is a public place and her friend was near it could be a reason for holding back. during the walk try next time to have her hold hands . It would give a good indicator of the sexual attraction she has as I feel that in this interaction you did not build it.

The gist is we hugged and kissed cheeks upon meeting, had very easy flowing conversation, I touched her hands and arm across the table, I gave compliments in Spanish and she had a big smile. After more conversation, I went to the toilet and seconds later she was texting a Spanish friend... they may be old plans. She let me walk her there, I touched her arm, squeezed it gently, and pulled her towards me now we were closer... I did it a few times and the last time she said, 'It was fun, but...', then we continued chatting. We arrived, I hugged her a few seconds and kissed her cheek, we chatted more, I brushed her hair and she brushed it the moment I moved my hand away. We chatted more, she said she'd prefer to wait for her friend alone, we hugged a final time and kissed each others cheeks, then I felt a very soft push on my chest.

I know it's not great haha. But was it an immediate lost cause, or could I have built the verbal, visual and touch, then kept it ramping up so she felt more? I prefer to be in control of the outcome somewhat.

How do you suggest touching / hugging smoothly? And going for a kiss without chasing? I assume getting close and having my face near her hair / cheek / neck without actually touching it.

Personally I would not bother trying to meet a girl that has not bothered to reply to my message. group hang outs/ dates are common in Spain that can be used as option.

I see your point. Though she was flaky with texts until I sent an ultimatum about it being my final text and miraculously she started texting more than me, and they were mostly lengthy, with emojis... Showing I wouldn't stick around changed her. I haven't texted a second time, as I'll wait another week then say I've been busy and try to set up a date in a better bar.

One good thing is when I suggested meeting again, she said next time should be closer to her side of town... Who knows whether she was just saying. I realise plans should be on my terms, but I'll suggest the bar we go to and I've found a better one.

work on building your verbal game as you cannot be hoping to be on the beach always to build attraction.

I agree, I wish to make every step smoother... I'm improving fast since finding the forum. Thanks for your help, Dcman!

 

[dcman]

Use the conversations to find more about her that you can use to build attraction. what kind of men attracts her etc and also introduce sex talk in an indirect manner to see how she responds to it . Alex roasted has a podcast about turning conversation sexual.


Thanks for your thoughts Dcman, I'll check it out! What are some good indirect sexual questions I can ask her? 

I would bring them in the context of the topics being discussed instead out of the blue. For Instance in this case I would talk about how I am going to a Spanish English tandem to improve my Spanish and would do a few minutes of fluff talk about the group. Then I would tell her how a Columbian girl at the group mentioned that Columbian girls are more passionate and spontaneous lovers compared to Spanish. I would smile and see how she responds. Based on her response it would set me up to probe more about if she is spontaneous and adventures in this department. It is effective that after a few minutes of sex talk to change the subject then later again do more sex talk then change it rather than being fully focused on this subject of sex talk. Also it is important to read her response always in deciding on how to proceed.

In situations like these use a combination of visual , verbal and touching to build attraction.



I assume visual is eye contact. I'm starting to realise this, as not every time I touch a girl they touch back... especially in daygame or reserved cultures.

It is an astute observation for instance with Brazilian woman a direct physical game is effective rather than a verbal to build attraction. The Asian girls that I have more data on is Japanese and I found visual to be more effective in public areas. They do not like a lot of touching in public areas even if they are into you.It is why I had suggested in addition to Kino to improve other aspects to help improve the attraction.

I

had a drink with an Italian woman and I think I was more sexually aggressive, since she said I make her nervous, then laughed. All I did was touch beyond hands or arms... I touched her back and leg. And I said I liked her body now I see it better without the coat, etc. She was leaving that night and I wasn't super attracted as I prefer younger women, but it was great escalation practise.

Just figure out the right amount of Kino that would work for a woman . Touch them in a sporadically manner so that it does not appear you are interested only in this with her and not appear as prevert. Do kino continue with talking and return back to Kino again. Do it in this manner and always see how she responds as this is most important. Her response to the Kino is extremely important for you to give an idea if you need to escalate more . Also I would suggest if logistics permits to move out of public places to a place with more privacy.

I figure excuses to touch her is better than just touching... e.g. asking to see her jewellery / watch, wanting to see how she feels / how good her hugs are, removing fluff from her hair / outfit, saying to sit near / this side so I can hear clearly, holding her hand and saying it's soft and if she moisturises it, asking for a back / shoulder rub as it aches after exercise, saying I want to tell a secret and whispering a compliment, etc...

This is a good method. Keep continuing it but just learn to read her response.

You should know and feel confident about yourself . do not ask for a validation from a girl that you are trying to attract. personally in most cases I like to wait till I am sexually escalating to tell a girl how attractive I find her. till then I like to keep them guessing if I like them or not.


Thank you, Dcman. Most of the time I'm sure of myself. I assumed it was a good way to bring up sexual conversation. I also use it as an opener in daygame... I used to indirectly ask directions and then small talk, but that led to numbers with no dates. Then I tried indirect openers and saying I like them, which works pretty well. And recently I open directly with 'Hi, I love your outfit / (clothing item) / (hair), it looks great on you / you're beautiful'. Not ideal for Asian cultures, and no approach is 100% perfect, but I'm getting numbers and some interest due to making my intent clear. Although this takes away some mystery of liking them or not, as you say...

Next time instead of doing a phone close see if they are free at that time. If they are free propose to have drinks or even take a walk etc at that time. Build the attraction and if logistis permit move them to your place . If you or the girl are not free at that time plan a time to meet and then get the number. Woman are emotional so use the time when they have an emotional connect with you to push to move them further as much you can instead of settling for a phone number. Having them to rebuild the same emotionally on phone is not as easy as doing in person.

ask her to explain meaning of seductive , sexual words in Spanish as these help to build attraction.


So should I only ask for Spanish word meanings, or also to translate words from English? Her explaining means she has to think about sex.

The idea of the interaction is to have her thinking about you sexually , romantically and when they think in their native language the emmotions run more stronger so ask them to translate words that would have this effect when they are explaining the meaning or translating for you. Look for words and sentences that would have more of an effect.

The great thing is when I said Spanish before was the only time she leaned across the table to hear properly. This could be a sneaky way to get compliance. 

I am not clear on what you mean by this .

If it is a public place and her friend was near it could be a reason for holding back. during the walk try next time to have her hold hands . It would give a good indicator of the sexual attraction she has as I feel that in this interaction you did not build it.


The gist is we hugged and kissed cheeks upon meeting, had very easy flowing conversation, I touched her hands and arm across the table, I gave compliments in Spanish and she had a big smile. After more conversation, I went to the toilet and seconds later she was texting a Spanish friend... they may be old plans. She let me walk her there, I touched her arm, squeezed it gently, and pulled her towards me now we were closer... I did it a few times and the last time she said, 'It was fun, but...', then we continued chatting. We arrived, I hugged her a few seconds and kissed her cheek, we chatted more, I brushed her hair and she brushed it the moment I moved my hand away. We chatted more, she said she'd prefer to wait for her friend alone, we hugged a final time and kissed each others cheeks, then I felt a very soft push on my chest.

The amount of Kino that would be needed varies so figure it out as I had mentioned earlier. Always read her response to see if she is ready for a kiss or if you need to build more attraction before going for the kiss.

I know it's not great haha. But was it an immediate lost cause, or could I have built the verbal, visual and touch, then kept it ramping up so she felt more? I prefer to be in control of the outcome somewhat. 

It looks like she did have interest. Did she mention earlier about needing to meet a friend or did she bring it up in the middle ? This would answer your question.

How do you suggest touching / hugging smoothly? And going for a kiss without chasing? I assume getting close and having my face near her hair / cheek / neck without actually touching it. 

The method you have been using like you had explained earlier would be fine for touching. Seeing how she responds to your touching would give an idea if she is ready for kissing. Personally once I built attraction to a girl I prefer brining them over to my place and then escalating. However if logistics do not walking in a park or a street that is empty would be better for going for a kiss than where everyone is looking.

Personally I would not bother trying to meet a girl that has not bothered to reply to my message. group hang outs/ dates are common in Spain that can be used as option.


I see your point. Though she was flaky with texts until I sent an ultimatum about it being my final text and miraculously she started texting more than me, and they were mostly lengthy, with emojis... Showing I wouldn't stick around changed her. I haven't texted a second time, as I'll wait another week then say I've been busy and try to set up a date in a better bar. 

One good thing is when I suggested meeting again, she said next time should be closer to her side of town... Who knows whether she was just saying. I realise plans should be on my terms, but I'll suggest the bar we go to and I've found a better one. 

Give it one more short other ways just wish her good luck and move on.

work on building your verbal game as you cannot be hoping to be on the beach always to build attraction.


I agree, I wish to make every step smoother... I'm improving fast since finding the forum. Thanks for your help, Dcman!

I had the same issue when I was younger and did not know about visual and verbal process of attraction. I used to take my dates to places where we could dance to build escalation as I thought this was the only way to build attraction. It took me years before I learnt about verbal and visual aspects could be used to build attraction.

 

[Wolf]

So you won't believe... I waited two weeks before texting as suggested. She replied the next day, but it was long, she asked how I was, and told me about another trip away soon. This is possibly a good sign. I assume either my texts are good, or she enjoyed the conversation.

I would bring them in the context of the topics being discussed instead out of the blue. For Instance in this case I would talk about how I am going to a Spanish English tandem to improve my Spanish and would do a few minutes of fluff talk about the group. Then I would tell her how a Columbian girl at the group mentioned that Columbian girls are more passionate and spontaneous lovers compared to Spanish. I would smile and see how she responds. Based on her response it would set me up to probe more about if she is spontaneous and adventures in this department. It is effective that after a few minutes of sex talk to change the subject then later again do more sex talk then change it rather than being fully focused on this subject of sex talk. Also it is important to read her response always in deciding on how to proceed.

Great idea, vary it and judge based on her reaction. I can even tell her about recent events that show my interest in the culture.

A girl I met last week (has a longterm bf, but agreed to be a wingwoman / friend) introduced me to her group of mostly Spanish / South American friends. I hope to meet them again. There was a Hungarian guy who welcomed me immediately... very cool guy. He told me to join him for Salsa classes, and that there are beautiful women there. I'm thinking he could be a potential wingman. He's a beginner, but they also do advanced classes and general salsa dancing after. The girl this thread is about also told me to try it out, and that she goes sometimes. If I see her, it may be a chance to talk or dance with her. She knows I don't know salsa, but I learn quickly if I enjoy something.

I am not clear on what you mean by this.

Whilst I said nice things in Spanish, she leaned across the table so she could hear better. Perhaps as I don't have the Spanish accent... but it's good to get her to do things like this... her leaning, rather than the other way around. The only issue is some phrases online are for South America, and not the same as the Spanish spoken in Spain. I can get around this by asking her to tell me phrases.

Also I would suggest if logistics permits to move out of public places to a place with more privacy.

I assume a quiet booth in a bar / the park / beach / empty street as you say is best for initiating a kiss privately. But how to bring it up? I can suggest a walk, though she may think it's me hinting at the end of the date. I'd find most resistance taking her home, but I can suggest a movie.

Next time instead of doing a phone close see if they are free at that time. If they are free propose to have drinks or even take a walk etc at that time. Build the attraction and if logistis permit move them to your place . If you or the girl are not free at that time plan a time to meet and then get the number. Woman are emotional so use the time when they have an emotional connect with you to push to move them further as much you can instead of settling for a phone number. Having them to rebuild the same emotionally on phone is not as easy as doing in person.

I've come to a similar conclusion... I think my conversion rate would improve! Though the good thing is it's helped my text skills having to re-engage. I realise it's better to avoid it. What if they can't give a date or say they're busy? It may be a polite turn down, but some will be busy / disorganised too.

I know about looking at girls from the side, but what's the best expression when first approaching? I assume approach with a neutral look or slight smirk, then build into side eyes or sticky eyes. When's best to do side eyes naturally? I'm thinking after she says something silly as a kind of tease.

Anyway, let's see if I can pull it off this time... If not, I'll at least learn from it!

 

[dcman]

So you won't believe... I waited two weeks before texting as suggested. She replied the next day, but it was long, she asked how I was, and told me about another trip away soon. This is possibly a good sign. I assume either my texts are good, or she enjoyed the conversation.

play it cool like you have been doing so far and see where it leads.

I assume a quiet booth in a bar / the park / beach / empty street as you say is best for initiating a kiss privately. But how to bring it up? I can suggest a walk, though she may think it's me hinting at the end of the date. I'd find most resistance taking her home, but I can suggest a movie.

I live in a city where the weather is warm and plenty of parks. Usually I get some tea or coffee along with some dessert from a coffee shop near to the park. Afterwards we take a walk in one of the parks (I check to make sure she is not wearing heels  ) and sit down at an empty bench. This makes it easy to execute and helps to build the attraction. Just come up with something that is simple to execute near to your place. Always plan logistics to be close your house as it makes it easy to move there later. Being near the beach I suppose you must have a warm climate that probably gives a number of simple options. The problem with movies is you cannot talk and not conductive to build attraction.

When I have a sit-down interaction and the place is not conductive for building attraction rather than waiting till the end I would propose going to get ice cream or just take a walk to enjoy the weather something simple. Even if a girl has objections it is easy to convince them by saying taking a walk and enjoying nature is better than sitting in a stuffy place.

I do not wait till the end of my interaction to propose spending more time rather I do it based on her attraction levels to me. Once I find a girl is sufficiently attracted by seeing how she is looking at me, responding to Kino, sexual talk I would suggest going to my place to get a drink, watch a movie or let us go to my place it is near here. In my experience once a girl is attracted I rarely had them give me any objections to coming over to my place. If I felt the attraction levels were not there or if I sensed she is a rules-girl that would not come to my place that evening I would probably move her to a different location like a lounge or maybe even call it a day with her. This is why I suggested that just learn to gauge from her actions if you have the appropriate attraction to invite her home, go for a kiss r. From reading the earlier reports you wrote this might be an area where you need to improve.

I've come to a similar conclusion... I think my conversion rate would improve! Though the good thing is it's helped my text skills having to re-engage. I realize it's better to avoid it. What if they can't give a date or say they're busy? It may be a polite turn down, but some will be busy / disorganised too.

In most cases when a girl is not willing to even agree to a time to meet it is primarily I did not screen her well (i.e. if she has a boyfriend etc.) or did not build attraction. Rather than settling for a number unless either one of us has a time constraint I would see if I can recover from this to build attraction otherwise I would move on without bothering to get the number. Girls thought process is emotional with mate selection rather than logical so When a girl is attracted to a guy they will always make time.

know about looking at girls from the side, but what's the best expression when first approaching? I assume approach with a neutral look or slight smirk, then build into side eyes or sticky eyes. When's best to do side eyes naturally? I'm thinking after she says something silly as a kind of tease.
I approach girls maintaining eye contact with a neutral look.

From what I see if you are cold approaching girls and getting numbers so this part of the process I feel that you are doing well. Make your learning process an incremental one rather than one where you keep changing your style frequently. This could confuse and make it hard to progress. If I were you I would not be worried about my approache method but improve inr other areas like gauging a girls interest, verbal skills , going for more than a number close at the initial interaction.

Hope this helps