FR Dating struggles

[AJAK]

Hey fellas, I have been struggling on my dates and I would like some advice.

I am based in London, UK.

I went out on a date tonight with an Iranian girl from HInge. The meet/greet and small talk went well but when she started deep diving me is when the date started to nose dive. She asked me about my educational qualifications and I said I didn't go to university. She looked down for a second and it was clear as day that she was disappointed to hear that. I just wanted to drink my tea as fast as possible at that point and leave. Other things that disappointed her were my occupation and living arrangements since I live with my mum. Then she asked about my religion and again my answer disappointed her. The date turned into a job interview basically.

A few of my dates seem to be turning out like this. I'm starting to think i'm dating the wrong girls or I need to change my strategy. Basically lie or something. My looks are getting me dates, but looks alone aren't enough.

I can't get out of the 2nd stage of the date (deep diving) into the 3rd stage which is when you would interject sex talk into the convo. Its starting to become demoralizing.

I would really appreciate your advice fellas.

 

[Rancorous]

Too many people (both men and women) just date random people and hope to have compatibility. You need to talk to the person first a bit and get to know them and then go on dates with them. I call this "pre-screening". This will save both you and her a lot of time. So you can ask her the basics like what do you like to do for fun? What do you believe in(as in religion)? What are you looknig for in a partner? etc.

Try to go to places where your hobbies and activities are going on and approach and talk to the women there. This way both you and her have something in common.

Certain types of people that hang out in certain types of places are generally of a certain type of mentality. Certain people do certain scenes.

Hang out around the scenes that you enjoy and you find appealing.

 

[AJAK]

Too many people (both men and women) just date random people and hope to have compatibility. You need to talk to the person first a bit and get to know them and then go on dates with them. I call this "pre-screening". This will save both you and her a lot of time. So you can ask her the basics like what do you like to do for fun? What do you believe in(as in religion)? What are you looknig for in a partner? etc.

Try to go to places where your hobbies and activities are going on and approach and talk to the women there. This way both you and her have something in common.

Certain types of people that hang out in certain types of places are generally of a certain type of mentality. Certain people do certain scenes.

Hang out around the scenes that you enjoy and you find appealing.

I'm just looking for a hook up, i'm not looking for a relationship. Obviously I can't say that to my potential daters.

I seem to be mostly meeting girls that aren't even remotely dtf. They seem to be looking for a husband/provider. Their profiles display that they're looking for a long term partner. Actually, most girls choose that as their relationship preference.

I always deep dive them on their hobbies and interests. Whatever they like to do for fun as you said. As I said, I cannot get out of this stage because they don't like my answers to their questions.

If I ask "what are you looking for in a partner?" wouldn't that put me in the boyfriend zone? I want to be in the lover zone, not boyfriend zone. I don't want to frame myself as a potential boyfriend.

For me personally, getting a date doesn't seem to mean anything. I have no excitement going into a date because I feel the result is most likely going to be the same and I want this to change.

 

[Rancorous]

I'm just looking for a hook up, i'm not looking for a relationship. Obviously I can't say that to my potential daters.

I seem to be mostly meeting girls that aren't even remotely dtf. They seem to be looking for a husband/provider. Their profiles display that they're looking for a long term partner. Actually, most girls choose that as their relationship preference.

I always deep dive them on their hobbies and interests. Whatever they like to do for fun as you said. As I said, I cannot get out of this stage because they don't like my answers to their questions.

If I ask "what are you looking for in a partner?" wouldn't that put me in the boyfriend zone? I want to be in the lover zone, not boyfriend zone. I don't want to frame myself as a potential boyfriend.

For me personally, getting a date doesn't seem to mean anything. I have no excitement going into a date because I feel the result is most likely going to be the same and I want this to change.

That's your problem. Your doing day game/dating and not night game / hookup. You need to go to party bars around 9:30 at night and start approaching. If you want my guide look in my profile it goes over everything.

 

[D. Gately]

You are going out with the wrong girls, it's that simple.

Also the date should never ever turn into an interview. You must lead and set the frame.

 

[AJAK]

You are going out with the wrong girls, it's that simple.

Also the date should never ever turn into an interview. You must lead and set the frame.

Thanks for your answer. You're right. I was trying to extract info from her about her hobbies and interests but she always answered vaguely. She was just there to screen me and find out if I could be a potential husband/provider.

I think i'm going to start sexualizing the convo over text and see what kind of reactions I get as (@HeartOfChaos) stated in his thread. Allows me to find out if a girl might be dtf or not. I think @Skills also wrote a thread on that too. Sure i'll lose numbers but I don't care. Its better than going out on a date that is destined to go nowhere and wasting my time and money.

Word for warning for people based in London. Do not ever plan your dates to be at Canary Wharf/Jubilee lane shopping mall. It is an absolute maze and you will have a lot of trouble finding your date and you will be stressed out.