Deletion Of Phone Numbers - Happier Now

[Troy]

On Monday I got a little upset when I went through my contacts and realized I had hundreds of phone numbers of people I have not spoken to in months or years. And I thought to myself:

"when was the last time any of these people texted or called me?"
"potentially why have they not called me? especially the so called friends?"

I had phone numbers from people I met back in 2012 to now. Here is what I noticed. Back in 2012 - 2015 I was in high school and I used to do a lot of texting. I was out on the streets after school cold approaching, attemping to make friends and build a social life.

When I started my first job in 2016, I was still juggling a social life and I was constantly texting these people in my phone. At the time I was also working on a college campus so I was in regular contact with a lot of college girls.

In 2017 when I launched my business, I got busier. Of course I kept a social life but I scaled way back because I realized 80% of the numbers I had in my phone I was the person who was always initiating the conversation. If I never called or texted. I never heard from these people.

And so that is when I decided to stop focusing so much on other people and focus on building my lifestyle and getting my money right. Fast forward to 2020, sometimes I am social, many other times I am focused on my life purpose and creating my lifestyle.

I use Whatsapp and this app gives crazy amounts of data on what another person is doing or how other people perceive me. The app can help me figure out who still has my phone number saved in their phone and who has dumped my number whether accidental or on purpose.

So on Monday I created a Whatsapp broadcast, basically the app only allows me to send messages to people who still have my phone number. I blast off a couple broadcasts text messages and just as I expected that 80% of people who never contacted me, they had all long deleted my phone number and moved on with their life. It was also apparent this had happened a long time ago.

Now I understand that some of those persons might have lost my number by accident. As for the majority, even while I being very social back in 2016, I was using texting to set up dates witih girls and connect with male friends. Problem was again I was the one who was making contact with these people 9 times out of 10. And I never understood why.

I always had the mindset "I am going to keep these persons phone numbers because I never know who I might have to call on in the future". And while I hanged on to these phone numbers, in hopes one day I might need some of these people, occasionally I got either super depressed or upset that they were not contacting me. Yet they were busy going to parties and other social events and never even saying "hey Troy we would like you to come with us".

This only fed deep into my belief system for years to make me feel unimportant and like a loser to most people who I traded phone numbers with. And I had to put a stop to it someway.

So I waited 24 hours to see who would respond to my message or at least read it. I back up all my contacts to Google so I went to my contacts account, created a export file and got all phone numbers in my phone in an excel document which I have buried deep down into my Google Drive folder. I still have not fully gotten the confidence to delete people permanently, the good thing is I am getting closer to that point.

Once I exported the file, I spent probably 3 hours on Tuesday just going through my phone and

deleting
deleting
deleting
..........................deleting

all phone numbers for both girls and guys who had not contacted me in the last 6-12 months minimum to at least say "hi". Once I was finished I felt a lot more mixed emotions.

When I look at my phone contacts now, its a bit empty so I need to start cold approaching again as soon as realistically possible and this time I need to focus on the quality of my relationships, not the quantity.

I felt mixed emotions, somewhat sad that I had lost so many "friends" and "girls". There were people from high school who I had built such good rapport with over the years who also never chose to contact me the day we left school. And that just kept feeding negative thoughts into my subconscious. For years I kept telling myself

"I am not important"
"No one likes me"
"I am a loser because no one invites me anywhere"

The best feeling I have now is relief, freedom to take control of my life again and to go out there and meet people who will share the same level of interest in getting to know me as I do with them.

Again I am not 100% sure this is the right way to do things. What I know for sure is at the moment I feel a lot more at peace and that has for once in a long time given me the opportunity to work on my self image and that should also help me long term to build true confidence in who I am becoming as a man.

 

[Velasco]

I felt mixed emotions, somewhat sad that I had lost so many "friends" and "girls". There were people from high school who I had built such good rapport with over the years who also never chose to contact me the day we left school. And that just kept feeding negative thoughts into my subconscious. For years I kept telling myself

"I am not important"
"No one likes me"
"I am a loser because no one invites me anywhere"

Its not that none of these people don't like you, it's simply that you don't have anything they want.

That's really the premise behind almost all decisions we make. I do X to get Y.

I text X (girl), to get Y (sex). Does answering my text and inviting me over benefit her? yes? then we both get our Y (here we both want sex with each other, so our Ys are the same).

I text X (cool guys/girls) to get Y (be perceived as cool socially proofed guy to girls at Z). Does answering my text and agreeing to come out benefit them (they get to go to Z, spend time with me (a cool guy myself) and other cool guys/girls (maybe one of the guys I contact will only agree to come out with me, if a specific girl agrees to be there. So there's also a meta X-Y transition going on here) and potentially meet other cool guys/girls) yes? then we'll all get our Ys. In this specific scenario tho, you wouldn't be one of the guys I'd text, because you wouldn't make me look good (my Y). Or maybe I would, but only because you have something else I want (future Y). So I'd be following the principle of reciprocation. By bring you to a cool party (that you'd probably never be invited to), you'll be more susceptible to a future request of mine. Having remembered this favor I did for you.

I contact X (guy I've built a good relationship with) with connections to high value people) to get Y (meet with a specific high value person). Then when I meet specific high value person. the process begins again. I talk with X high value person, to get Y (job opportunity, discount, social proof etc).

So really you'll want to start thinking in terms of what do I bring to the table. And what do they bring to the table. Rather than thinking, people should just give me what I want just because.

 

[Troy]

Its not that none of these people don't like you, it's simply that you don't have anything they want.

That's really the premise behind almost all decisions we make. I do X to get Y.

I text X (girl), to get Y (sex). Does answering my text and inviting me over benefit her? yes? then we both get our Y (here we both want sex with each other, so our Ys are the same).

I text X (cool guys/girls) to get Y (be perceived as cool socially proofed guy to girls at Z). Does answering my text and agreeing to come out benefit them (they get to go to Z, spend time with me (a cool guy myself) and other cool guys/girls (maybe one of the guys I contact will only agree to come out with me, if a specific girl agrees to be there. So there's also a meta X-Y transition going on here) and potentially meet other cool guys/girls) yes? then we'll all get our Ys. In this specific scenario tho, you wouldn't be one of the guys I'd text, because you wouldn't make me look good (my Y). Or maybe I would, but only because you have something else I want (future Y). So I'd be following the principle of reciprocation. By bring you to a cool party (that you'd probably never be invited to), you'll be more susceptible to a future request of mine. Having remembered this favor I did for you.

I contact X (guy I've built a good relationship with) with connections to high value people) to get Y (meet with a specific high value person). Then when I meet specific high value person. the process begins again. I talk with X high value person, to get Y (job opportunity, discount, social proof etc).

So really you'll want to start thinking in terms of what do I bring to the table. And what do they bring to the table. Rather than thinking, people should just give me what I want just because.

I would say 80% of the reason I decided to stop doing a lot of dating and socializing was to focus on building my business and making more money was so I could focus on bringing more value. Not to say I am looking to buy friends or anything. It's just that I never really had any defining "swag factor growing up". At the moment though I don't have a car or my own house so I can see where some guys would not want to text me to invite me to events and I can see where some girls would not want to date me.

Say I had my own place and another guy still lived with his parents, yet he was really good at getting girls. There could be an equal value exchange where he invite me to parties and at the end of the night we both pick up girls and go back to my house to have sex with those girls. It would be a good value exchange.

Or say I had my own car (Mercedes Benz, Porsche, BMW, other luxury car), then really hot girls, think Instagram models with thousand of likes, they would more likely say yes to go on date with me. At the moment though if I texted them for a date, I would be taking public transport to take them to and from date locations. So they might not even want to go on a date because they would have to take public transport too to come see me. I even see this happening on a large scale with girls who are not big into social media or popular in my country.

A lot of people I meet are materialistic so that is a bummer!

So I see your point @Velasco . They all want more value from me in order to see it worthy to contact me.

And that leaves me in a very difficult situation at times. Its a chicken vs egg situation. Which comes 1st I always ask myself the chicken or the egg.

There are ultimately 2 ways I could do things right now:

1. I could just keep burying myself in my business hoping to make some decent money so I can get that house or car to be more valuable to both guys and girls. That however leaves me vulnerable to becoming depressed at times. It leaves me vulnerable to being lonely and not having girls to regularly have sex with. It does leave me vulnerable to spend so much time attempting to acquire more "value items" or "value lifestyle" that by the time I end up making the money or acquiring these things or skills, my social skills would be way behind everyone else and that could be a hit to my self esteem if I am not careful.


2. Or I could spend more time out there cold approaching, probably coming across as low value to a majority of people for not having a large part of my life handled already. Mainly because I don't have access to: a cool social circle, cool events to invite people to, a car, a house, some cool skill that others want to learn, e.t.c... Basically I would have to be very careful to not repeat my past mistakes so I dont end up doing hundreds of cold approaches only to end up with mediocre results at best. I have heard of guys on forums doing like 5,000 cold approaches and ending up with less than 50 girls in bed. I would not want to be that guy...that is a total crush to one's self esteem in my opinion. And I could end up doing so much of this, that other parts of my life fall apart example: my finances.

Ultimately I have to make very difficult decisions in my life at the moment. I chose option 1 above as my best bet for success. Again I totally get your point @Velasco about looking into how I can bring more value to them. At the moment my best bet is to delete their numbers so I dont have that constant reminder every time I open my phone that majority of them don't even care one bit about me (at the moment). Maybe they will in the future once my intristic value increases.

 

[Velasco]

At the moment though I don't have a car or my own house so I can see where some guys would not want to text me to invite me to events and I can see where some girls would not want to date me.

Not having a car or your own place isnt why people wouldnt invite you to events or girls want to date you.

People would invite you, solely on the fact that you are an entertaining social dude. Their benefit from inviting you, is they get to laugh and have a kickass awesome time because you are there (or you could help them get laid if they know you've got game). And girls, if we are talking instagram models like you say, they might not want to date you if you dont have your own place. But besides them, if you can show girls you have the potential to do something big with your life (which you, as an entrepreneur pushing yourself to make it big, have) girls would be open to it.

Say I had my own place and another guy still lived with his parents, yet he was really good at getting girls. There could be an equal value exchange where he invite me to parties and at the end of the night we both pick up girls and go back to my house to have sex with those girls. It would be a good value exchange

Exactly. He has a place to bang girls and you have a great wingman who invites you to parties. Great value exchange.

Or say I had my own car (Mercedes Benz, Porsche, BMW, other luxury car), then really hot girls, think Instagram models with thousand of likes, they would more likely say yes to go on date with me

I am not sure about that. One of my wings way back drove a BMW (not sure the model), and it did not help with chicks at all. I think they thought he was a provider because of it so they wouldnt put out right away. so for him it was a net negative lol. They would be more likely to go on a date with you, if you yourself have an even cooler instagram page then theirs. Photos of cool places you been to / people you hang with etc.

So they might not even want to go on a date because they would have to take public transport too to come see me.

Just go to their place lol.

But I think what you want is a high quality girlfriend. Rather than a couple fuckbuddies. If that is what you want, then yeah I'd lean more towards the 1st option. Where you bury your head and work on your business (just want to take this time to remind you again about that other thread where I explained that this is not the only way to make good money ). Just to have your own place and a car if you need it (I'm assuming there is Uber or the equivalent of it, in your city). Then once you've got your own place near a good area for pickup. I'd focus on daygame to find yourself a quality girl.

If however, what you want right now is fuckbuddies and then wayyy later down the line (35+) you want a quality girlfriend, then I'd lean more towards option 2. And just bang all sorts of girls (with or without gf potential). And bring them back to their place, just to get it out of your system (or ad-infinitum lol. Its your life), while you save money from your regular job towards getting an apartment.

 

[Troy]

Not having a car or your own place isnt why people wouldnt invite you to events or girls want to date you.

People would invite you, solely on the fact that you are an entertaining social dude. Their benefit from inviting you, is they get to laugh and have a kickass awesome time because you are there (or you could help them get laid if they know you've got game).

That makes sense now that I think more about it.

And girls, if we are talking instagram models like you say, they might not want to date you if you dont have your own place. But besides them, if you can show girls you have the potential to do something big with your life (which you, as an entrepreneur pushing yourself to make it big, have) girls would be open to it.

Exactly. They might not want to date me without my own place. I do have a few experiences with letting girls know I have a lot of potential. I remember in 2019 I met this hot girl in a bookstore, she happened to be a 21 year old cashier and also helped with printing and laminating documents for customers.

For about 3 months I was a regular customer. I had a lot of business documents outlining different techniques to close sales, prospect, network with people and I had even my vision board of the things I wanted to accomplish. I did not even have to say a word. She printed and laminated my documents all while reading the cool stuff I had on them and she became very intrigued by who I was. I did not ask her for her number though.

About 2 months after that, I ran into her at my job. She was interviewing for a call center position. That is when things really kicked off with me and her. She remembered my full name even though I never really talked to her in the bookstore. When she moved from training on the job to the real production floor, she skipped all the other guys on the floor who she could have sat with to learn the job and she came and sat right next to me for 1 month. This girl was so hot I just completely lost my senses sad to say. I ended up coming across as less confident than I usually am and she went a bit cold. I asked her out one day on the job and she said "I am seeing someone".

She was very nice about it though. That said, after training ended and she was put to also do her job, I realized a lot of other women at work started taking more interest in me, flirting with me and such. I suspect she told all the other girls what big plans I have in my life and so all the women became a lot more flirty with me.

This hot girl has 19,000 Instagram followers and it growing very fast. She got about 2,000 likes on 1 photo alone. If only I could have calmed my nervousness around her I probably would have gotten her on a date. With that said, even to this day whenever she sees me, she is always very nice to me. I happen to have a very strong sense for fashion and women regularly compliment me on my looks. I could tell this hot girl wanted to get to know me better (maybe even go out on a date with me) if I were a little bit different in a good way. I can tell she still likes me even to this day.

But I never asked her out again... I just friend zoned her since it's a work environment. I have also entertained other girls before who saw potential in me to do big things. And then things would fall apart because other key elements of my game were missing. So with that lengthy story, I went off tangent a bit there lol. I agree with your point.

I am not sure about that. One of my wings way back drove a BMW (not sure the model), and it did not help with chicks at all. I think they thought he was a provider because of it so they wouldnt put out right away. so for him it was a net negative lol. They would be more likely to go on a date with you, if you yourself have an even cooler instagram page then theirs. Photos of cool places you been to / people you hang with etc..

Mhmm...I see your point. Speaking of a cooler Instagram page, I definitely am planning to update with some nicer pictures of me going to nice places. That does require some expendible cash flow to go to nice places for nice pictures so I gotta get that going 1st.

But I think what you want is a high quality girlfriend. Rather than a couple fuckbuddies. If that is what you want, then yeah I'd lean more towards the 1st option. Where you bury your head and work on your business (just want to take this time to remind you again about that other thread where I explained that this is not the only way to make good money ). Just to have your own place and a car if you need it (I'm assuming there is Uber or the equivalent of it, in your city). Then once you've got your own place near a good area for pickup. I'd focus on daygame to find yourself a quality girl.

If however, what you want right now is fuckbuddies and then wayyy later down the line (35+) you want a quality girlfriend, then I'd lean more towards option 2. And just bang all sorts of girls (with or without gf potential). And bring them back to their place, just to get it out of your system (or ad-infinitum lol. Its your life), while you save money from your regular job towards getting an apartment.

You are correct. What I want is a high quality girlfriend. Yeah I am leaning more towards the 1st option. I am already there. In fact just last night at 10PM EST, I held a meeting with my business partners and right now a lot of systems and tools are being built so we can be more efficient. I had to prepare detailed presentations. So a high quality girlfriend is most suited to my situation right now.

Regarding the other thread, yeah I remember your advice to me over there. What I do whenever I ask a question on here is I keep a notebook and write down all the advice I get. I wrote your name down in my book so I keep good tabs of what I actually need to focus on. So I appreciate the advice you gave on that other thread.