Did she go into Auto-Rejection

[HumanoidSnow]

Hi everybody, I had a girl at work starting To give me plenty of signals of interest like she told me i was cute, handsome, gave me a nickname ( like one you would use for a boyfriend) touched my arms and hands a few times , prolonged eye contact , playful pushes and all that kind of things but a few weeks ago after we were done working she told me Hey wait for me i'll show you where i live and im 99% sure this was Her escalation window, i didn't make a move because i had a girlfriend and since then she started getting colder and colder until she almost completely ignores me today. Am I right? It is auto-rejection ?

 

[BigPapa]

Yep , sounds And looks like auto rejection

 

[HumanoidSnow]

Thanks you for the answer, I learned Alot from this experience ! It wont happen again but Hey a super cute girl wanted To sleep with me so that a huge confidence boost

 

[BigPapa]

I never really managed to turn around an auto rejection myself , and from what I read on gc and the forum is super difficult

with that particular girl that you mentioned , you can start being more friendly with her to see where it goes . You can message her on the company chat to see how things are going and then ask her to grab a coffee the 2 of you during working hours and then just tell her that you had a lot of things On your mind and you did not wanted to seem rude and see where this goes . if you go out just grab the coffee , have a smoke , tell her this and see where it goes , but do not spend more than 15 - 20 minutes with her .

if she is in auto rejection and likes you she will be glad that you are moving things forward

 

[HumanoidSnow]

It's too late with Her sadly, i already asked Her out and she gave me the excuse that she doesn't go out with co workers which is obviously a lie since she was all over me before and now she wont even say hi to me at work like 90% of the time also she even denied flirting with me which is complete bullshit so yeah it's too late with Her

 

[BigPapa]

I think you played it bad
You should have just asked her to grab a coffee during working hours , like coworkers do . But you had to talk to her a little bit on the company chat , like how is your day , I have all this meetings lined up , bla bla , then tell her to grab a coffee during office hours .

when she is in auto rejection ofc she will not agree with anything , that is why you need to calibrate and play it socially smart . Is nothing wrong grabbing a coffee with a coworker during working hours , hell you do this even with colleagues you do not like .

after she opens up to the idea of talking with you , then you start escalating things like asking her after work , deep diving , etc

 

[HumanoidSnow]

Yeah you're right. But it's still too late with Her sadly. But Hey you gave me a few new tricks for the future girls if i ever fuck up again hahaha, but it was mostly bad timing with Her i had a girlfriend and since im loyal i ignored all of her flirting and touching and basically anything that you woudn't do to somebody you wouldn't be interested, anyway thank you again for the answer my friend!

 

[BigPapa]

Right now you are auto rejecting yourself

It is better to try it and see what happens , rather than not doing anything at all . You are not yet the guy who all the girls want to date , so you need to buckle up as much experience as possible under your belt , good or bad

just do this Monday, and come back on the forum and share your results .now , she might might be slow to reply to you at the beginning , etc so do not get discouraged . I would try to talk to her Monday on the company chat and when you feel her warm just tell her to grab a coffee in the morning with you the next day on your way to work somewhere close to the office . Something like that .

 

[BigPapa]

Chasing is when you are not outcome independent , not when you persist like a guy that knows what he wants

 

[HumanoidSnow]

To be honest friend this story is about 6 months old, She was interested back in july til beginning of september and that when i missed Her escalation window, that why i told you it was too late oh and now we never work the same shift either

 

[HumanoidSnow]

I mostly wanted To Her a opinion if it was auto rejection and now im sure of it

 

[BigPapa]

Ah ok

I though it was still fresh as I saw the post in January . Next time Calibrate socially better and do not eject yourself too soon . I also did stupid things like this and even years after I regret it , that is why I persisted with you in order not to make the same mistake I did .

Regret is worst than a straight rejection on the long run

 

[HumanoidSnow]

Yup trust me i learned Alot from this next time i'll also be Warmer To girls that show me obvious signs of attraction and make a move when she opening up the escalation window haha man... "Hey wait for me i'll show you where i live" when i think about it it was a obvious fuck me at my place dont you think ?

 

[BigPapa]

Yeah

we all did stupid things , but it takes courage to admit them and try to fix them after .

when pain meets love ,they turn to game

 

[HumanoidSnow]

You're so right! This experience needed To happens for me To get better and i learned so much ! Thank you again i Feel so much more at peace now that i know that it was 100% auto rejection. Thank you

 

[HumanoidSnow]

One more question friend : is it also normal that the last time she texted me she told me that she never gave me any signs ? It's part of her auto rejection right?

 

[BigPapa]

Auto rejection means that she closes to you to save her ego being hurt . It is in human nature. Guys do it too

it also means that she will never admit that she is in auto rejection and will deny everything , including that she ever liked you in the first place, as since you bruised severely her ego and sense of self worth in her eyes now you are a despicable human being and hates you .

you also need to understand that she is hurt and butt hurt , and people that are like this will sometime be rude when asked things about the cause of this bad emotions

Did you start talking with her again ?

 

[HumanoidSnow]

Nope, I was just wondering if denying that she was flirting with me pretty hard was also part of her auto rejection. Thank you again i Feel like i learned Alot from you

 

[BigPapa]

As I was learning things , it was frustrating not to have to whom to talk about and give me a proper feedback on where I was messing up .

like Gandhi said , be the change You want

glad I could at least ease your mind

 

[Hue]

She gave you a window to fuck her and you didn't do it. Women will take that as a rejection. Sounds like she made it pretty obvious that she wanted you to take her home and you didn't.

So, that will make her feel bad / hurt. What happens after that is they blame you for the negative emotions. Now that she recognizes you as someone who did that to her, you're officially an asshole in her mind. So, she autorejects, and turns cold.. she doesn't want to be hurt by you again.

Since it's your coworker, she might come around eventually. You get many chances in social circle.


Hue