Discerning vs FOMO

[Fuck This]

Let's discuss the true essence of abundance via becoming discerning about the women you let into your life.

I think there is too much focus among the people on this board about racking up a high lay count

I found this article to be an interesting counter point to the polar opposite of meet and screw as many women as possible.
an excerpt:
Lately I find that I enjoy the company of discerning men and women more and more. The quiet self-confidence they exude, the gentle warmth they display, the relaxed and effortless way they carry themselves and the sense of laid back elegance they live by, all just seem to put me at ease. There is no competing for attention, no need to impress, no trying to hijack or run a conversation and not a trace of one-upmanship in sight. There are just lovely and lively exchanges, quality friendships, wonderful experiences, comfortable surroundings and a genuine appreciation for the value of a life that is built on quality, rather than one that is merely based on quantity.


For those of you who had a break through in being able to meet and date high quality women, how did you go from a mindset of quantity to quality?

This occured to me today as I ran into a woman who I'd met first while married, and told me she would have asked me out if I wasn't married. I was flattered, but she was carrying too much weight for my taste.

It made me think of other women I'd not added to the rotation. The SNL firefighter from Southern California. The friend who acted like she wanted to break out of the friendzone. The female bartender who screwed me in the parking lot on our first date. Each of them had certain things that kept me from making them first string lovers.

Part of my FOMO is that I worry about whether I'd burned that bridge. There have been some others in the past that certainly moved on and found a man and settled down with him.
Like the hot blonde, I put off at the Christmas party 2.5 years ago. I saw her attraction right away, but never called her. Now she has a child with some guy.

Or the Divorced Yoga Teacher who was friends with my mother and her ex husbands family is a client of my company. That could have been a fun rendezvous. I didn't pursue that due to all those connections. Now she is dating a childhood friend of hers.

Or the slender blonde mother of 3 girls who agreed to meet me for coffee in the middle of the day while her kids were in school. She very clearly wanted another date, and perhaps an afternoon rendezvous that day but I did not pursue her due to multiple reasons like 1) it was the holidays 2) she was moving into her new house in a week. 3) Her kids went to school with my cousin's kids. Plus I was just days away from spending the Week with my #1



Now all of these should make me feel like if I broke things off with my #1 girl, that I could find options quite quickly for physical and emotional intimacy. Truth is the level of connection that I have there beats all of the excitement of new attracted females......Most of the time. A MLTR or OLTR model I think would diminish that feeling.

So how do you reconcile the difference between being Discerning and Fear of Missing Out?

Actually I should have this conversation with my 68 year old MGTOW uncle.....

 

[Cacc]

Sex with novel women feels good. You may be at the point where your appetite has changed and you long for something more than "a sea of worthless pussy".

Truth is the level of connection that I have there beats all of the excitement of new attracted females......Most of the time. A MLTR or OLTR model I think would diminish that feeling

Really? Or have you just lost motivation while in the relationship and settled? And what stops you from finding a new woman who you can connect with just aswell with?

 

[Rain]

FT, the women that you think back to, did they have some physical attraction features that your current woman doesn't have? Eg current woman may have tits but the others have ass or vice versa or something like that?

Sex with novel women feels good. You may be at the point where your appetite has changed and you long for something more than "a sea of worthless pussy".

Truth is the level of connection that I have there beats all of the excitement of new attracted females......Most of the time. A MLTR or OLTR model I think would diminish that feeling

Really? Or have you just lost motivation while in the relationship and settled? And what stops you from finding a new woman who you can connect with just aswell with?

I think maybe FT has already judged these other attractive women as not good enough, so it's unlikely he would feel a connection with them. Otherwise he would be willing to give them a chance. So they may be attractive, but not as attractive in terms of connection or maybe it was because he was taken and he's a one woman man so by chance they then aren't good enough, but I'm just speculating. Does a woman you find attractive automatically equal a connection, in terms of the man feeling a connection or not really?

 

[Fuck This]

FT, the women that you think back to, did they have some physical attraction features that your current woman doesn't have? Eg current woman may have tits but the others have ass or vice versa or something like that?

Sex with novel women feels good. You may be at the point where your appetite has changed and you long for something more than "a sea of worthless pussy".

Truth is the level of connection that I have there beats all of the excitement of new attracted females......Most of the time. A MLTR or OLTR model I think would diminish that feeling

Really? Or have you just lost motivation while in the relationship and settled? And what stops you from finding a new woman who you can connect with just aswell with?

I think maybe FT has already judged these other attractive women as not good enough, so it's unlikely he would feel a connection with them. Otherwise he would be willing to give them a chance. So they may be attractive, but not as attractive in terms of connection or maybe it was because he was taken and he's a one woman man so by chance they then aren't good enough, but I'm just speculating. Does a woman you find attractive automatically equal a connection, in terms of the man feeling a connection or not really?

I'm saying an emotional connection and shared values.
I still get a thrill when a woman finds me attractive enough to pursue. Early on though I ruled out several whom I took to bed, or had clear interest from for various reasons. One snored horribly. One was married, a couple were too old, one had 3 young children younger than mine, one talked too much, another was too heavy, one I didn't like her family, in any case I felt like they lacked in an area that my #1 had covered. #1 leads the pack in sex hands down on all counts. So barring a Super Rich 40 year old fitness model who doesn't want kids but wants to be my Sugar Momma, and adore me, any of these other women would be a downgrade in one area or another.

Now granted if #1 was not in my life, there are a couple of these I would have pursued further at the time. I think it is important to know if ALL your boxes are being checked.

There was a recently replied post where Franco mentioned, if you feel like you could go back out there and attract women, then getting in a relationship could be a good idea. I think that is where I am. Although I will admit.....early on I felt like I lacked in certain relationship skills because of the decline of the previous relationship, and I think I wanted to prove I had those qualities, by maintaining a relationship. Just as a guy wants lots of notches to prove he has the seduction skills...

 

[Big Daddy]

I think there is too much focus among the people on this board about racking up a high lay count

I searched everywhere for an old post from Marty that basically stated the following: imagine a wealthy man talking to a poor one. The wealthy man is trying to convince the poor man that money will not bring him happiness, but having no money to even eat, the poor man can't understand how someone can say such thing.

I will make a slight adaptation from this tale, as to explain why I think that happens, and why I think it should continue happening until a certain threshold is met: Again, the wealthy man is arguing with the poor man how to best spend money in a meal. The wealthy man reasons that they should go to the best restaurant in town, as they have the best steak, and that will bring them both the maximum satisfaction. The poor man then jumps in to disagree; fancy restaurant's dishes are tiny. It had been so long since his last meal that he wanted to fill up as much as possible.

What I'm trying to say is it's quite easy to find satisfaction in high-status women when you already fucked 80 women prior to that. Most people haven't fucked 80 women, and that's the reason they are trying to rack up their lay count. Also, it's way easier to have an objective number that you can shoot for that will help you with your goals, and the transition from "80 average girls" to higher-status is easier than otherwise.

I couldn't pinpoint if you thought focusing on your lay number is a negative thing, but I still wanted to leave my two cents.