Do you think Sigmund Freud was right or do opposites attract?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I want to focus mainly on women here since the forum centers on having success with them.

Sigmund Freud made up the theory of the Oedipus Complex meaning just like how men love women that remind them of their moms, women love men that look like and somehow remind them of their dads. If you apply it, this would mean that some typical hot natural blonde would go for a guy that looks like Chris Hemsworth while a white girl with dark hair and tanned skin would go for an Antonio Banderas lookalike.

Then you have the theory saying opposites attract meaning that women go for men that look their opposite. This means that a hot blonde would go for a dark haired guy with tanned skin and a hot girl with dark hair and tanned skin would ideally prefer a Chris Hemsworth lookalike.

As for why we even care.

I think that to a degree, preferences matter. There is a reason some pale white guy can go to Brazil and swim in pussy while a darker skinned guy can go to Sweden and get laid a lot more than he would in a country where everyone has darker skin.

My thoughts are that opposites attract, see it with my own eyes everyday. I notice that as a dark haired white guy, I tend to attract redheads and natural blondes a lot more easily but dark haired white girls rarely give me the time of the day, fail hard with Italian looking women. At the same time my chubby blonde friend is dating this tanned Italian chick that is close to a 10 and sexy.

I want to hear what you guys have to say about it though.

 

[Michal]

I would say this is deeper than looks. Culture plays a role but not directly but indirectly because it shapes your behaviour in certain way. I am basing this on the fact that only like 5% of black girls from America were interested in me, while pretty much 90% girls from countries like Kenya or Niger were very interested and I am a white European. If a black guy goes to Sweden or Norway, yes he has a different skin color but also attitude and vibe than those cold, distant white dudes who live there.

Another thing I noticed was that you two can be different only in couple of traits. Now, I dont know whether I was not similarly looking as their dad by any chance but the most visible attraction I got was always from girls who were around 165cm tall (5'5 I believe), I am 186 (6'1). And they could have brown hair like me or black hair or whatever, they usually liked me just because I was much taller than them but not excesively tall. Or there was a girl who was like 180 but had hair so curly it looked like old telephone cable and she always gave me 4s eye contact when we passed each other in the hall. And with personality, those were warm, full of energy and touchy girls seemed very interested giving me prolonged eye contact as well while I am more calmer, composed sometimes seem cold and not that bouncy. But sometimes there wil be a a short, calm girl who cannot keep her eyes off of me. At this point, I dont pay much attention to this because all kinds of girls can like you. Even if it were generally blondes who liked you more than black girls, it does not mean you would not find a black girl who likes you. At the end of the day, you just have to ask yourself whether you like the girl and want to get to know her or not and either approach or go by your day.

 

[Fuck This]

I think in our reproductive years we desire a mate who perhaps offers traits to potential offspring we think we lack.

As a teenager I always thought I carried too much weight in my hips and thighs. So I was attracted to tall, long legged women with narrow hips.

As a young man when I started male pattern baldness, I began noticing women with nice voluminous hair.

Now that my child raising years are nearly done, I don't feel that subliminal pressure any more.

 

[Hue]

Research in social psychology has shown that opposites don't actually attract, and that people seem to enjoy being around people they're similar to. This isn't to say there's not attractive things to appreciate about people who are dissimilar to oneself, but people rate others that looks more like them as more attractive, as well as those that share the same traits as them (even people with the same initials) - on average.

My old professor things this phenomena is an egocentric mechanism of some sort, though it could be many things. Nonetheless studies that tested this found this to be the direction of people's tendencies and the deeper meaning behind this outcome is much harder to look at.

To the point that Fuck This made, I agree there's the phenomena of being attracted to people that have what one wishes they had - though sometimes this can be flipped into envy, or be less noticeable in any direction depending on one's outlook, self-esteem, etc.


Hue

 

[Franco]

Along the lines of what Hue and Fuck This were saying, from my personal experience, you're only attracted to opposites when you feel like those opposite qualities are qualities you wish you had yourself. Therefore, you're most attracted to opposite qualities when you're not where you want to be yourself.

On the flip side of the coin, if you've been working very hard on yourself and self-improvement, and you've mostly become the man you want to become, you'll suddenly find that you're attracted to people similar to you (in other words, high-quality individuals who have also worked on themselves and desire the same traits in a partner).

This has been my observation over the years. It probably doesn't hold true for every single individual quality, but I've noticed this pattern among guys who are attracted to women that are very different from them (i.e. the really sheltered kid who was in a strict, religious household growing up and now desiring the tatted up chick with piercings who seems to do whatever she wants).

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Definitely great points throughout by guys who are well respected on the forum but what I was getting more at was appearance in terms of color and ethnicity.

Like I have noticed the phenomenon of a blond haired white guy cleaning up in a place like Brazil or Colombia while a minority or exotic looking guy cleans up in Sweden.

Even in the US I notice this a bit to where you might see a hot blonde with a dark haired exotic guy a good bit then the vice versa. I wonder if this can be applied when running game too, like if you're a white guy with dark hair, should you target redheads and blonde women a lot more compared to a Gal Gadot lookalike?

That is what I was getting at when I said opposites attract, whether for a one night stand, women prefer a guy who doesn't resemble their family members in any way.

 

[Franco]

In terms of looks and physical appearance, the answer is "no."

When it comes to looks, women might develop an initial taste in their teens, but their preferences change immensely depending on the men they actually end up sleeping with.

For example, a girl who likes blonde-haired, blue-eyed, clean-shaven guys in high school and had a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, clean-shaven boyfriend for awhile will like that type of guy. But let's say some sexy, dark-haired, bearded, chest-haired man seduces her one night and takes her to bed. The quality of the sex is completely mind-blowing, and he causes her to scream with orgasms all night. All she can think about the next day is how insanely sexy that man was... and suddenly, there's a shift in preference. All of her next boyfriends are dark-haired, bearded, chest-haired men. There's a reason why you'll notice a girl will often date guys that look like her ex-boyfriend -- it means he was good in bed, and dominant. So she's tied those good feelings and emotions to that "look."

Obviously, if a girl has an initial preference for a different look when she meets you, you're going to have to work a little harder to bed her because the physical attraction won't be there (which is where "game" comes into play). But if you manage to bed her and give her the best sex of her life, you can completely change the way she views men of your background/look/ethnicity.

This is why I have no problems approaching any type of woman. I know the key to her heart is through my dick.

- Franco

 

[Lover]

When it comes to looks, women might develop an initial taste in their teens, but their preferences change immensely depending on the men they actually end up sleeping with.

For example, a girl who likes blonde-haired, blue-eyed, clean-shaven guys in high school and had a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, clean-shaven boyfriend for awhile will like that type of guy. But let's say some sexy, dark-haired, bearded, chest-haired man seduces her one night and takes her to bed. The quality of the sex is completely mind-blowing, and he causes her to scream with orgasms all night. All she can think about the next day is how insanely sexy that man was... and suddenly, there's a shift in preference. All of her next boyfriends are dark-haired, bearded, chest-haired men. There's a reason why you'll notice a girl will often date guys that look like her ex-boyfriend -- it means he was good in bed, and dominant. So she's tied those good feelings and emotions to that "look."

Wow! This does explain some things Nice, Franco!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

In terms of looks and physical appearance, the answer is "no."

When it comes to looks, women might develop an initial taste in their teens, but their preferences change immensely depending on the men they actually end up sleeping with.

For example, a girl who likes blonde-haired, blue-eyed, clean-shaven guys in high school and had a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, clean-shaven boyfriend for awhile will like that type of guy. But let's say some sexy, dark-haired, bearded, chest-haired man seduces her one night and takes her to bed. The quality of the sex is completely mind-blowing, and he causes her to scream with orgasms all night. All she can think about the next day is how insanely sexy that man was... and suddenly, there's a shift in preference. All of her next boyfriends are dark-haired, bearded, chest-haired men. There's a reason why you'll notice a girl will often date guys that look like her ex-boyfriend -- it means he was good in bed, and dominant. So she's tied those good feelings and emotions to that "look."

Obviously, if a girl has an initial preference for a different look when she meets you, you're going to have to work a little harder to bed her because the physical attraction won't be there (which is where "game" comes into play). But if you manage to bed her and give her the best sex of her life, you can completely change the way she views men of your background/look/ethnicity.

This is why I have no problems approaching any type of woman. I know the key to her heart is through my dick.

- Franco

So game is definitely the X-factor alongside things like status and to a small degree money too.

But in today's society where it seems like social media and dating apps have taken over, I think looks are starting to matter more in how women evaluate a man.

Then that becomes a topic of another thread, how to break her out of her "type". I don't think it is really that easy to do and will require tight game, my thoughts are if it is even worth it at that point given how much available women are out there. TBH, I never invested much in putting in a lot of effort to get one particular girl that has that strict of a type.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Franco I think I am like that too.

I've had such a great experience with natural blondes and redheads that they always get primary attention from me. Most brunettes I've met have been bitches, especially Mediterranean women, so I automatically assume they are cunts and they have to prove themselves to me more for me to even give them a chance.

The X-factor for me has been dating apps, I always assume that if we match and chat, its good to go and my guard is lowered a lot more now. Thankfully I do well on them and but I feel so much going to my massive ego when it comes to women. Its like the worst rejections I've had have been from brunettes and dark haired girls so I try to treat them like shit from the get go, ignoring them often and paying them little to no mind. Weird thing is that somehow it does work on some occasions where these girls try to get my attention.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

One other thing, I know we say "tall dark and handsome" a lot but it seems like blond guys are having a field day these days with hot girls. Might be due to the Hemsworth brothers but a lot of hot girls I see, especially non-blondes and darker skinned white girls, are crazy for blond dudes in the younger age. Could be confirmation bias on my end too so others can comment on what they see.

 

[Sprezzatura]

As a dark haired, brown eyed guy I can attest that opposites do attract. However we are just talking about raw attraction here - fascination without game.
Just these past two days I had three instances where blondes have made it real easy for me - two looked at me from 30 meters away with deer in headlights look and smiled like idiots in the street, the
third positioned herself right next to me (1 m) in the gym immediately after entering and looked at me expectantly. However with no game all this attraction would be for nothing. I think over time
I started to give off a certain vibe - not player or womaniser - but as a decisive man and women pick up on it. Brunettes and redheads also dig me a lot.

I don't know about blonde guys - but I can tell you with zero game they don't get very far. There is a personal trainer in my gym, 2 m tall, very athletic, blonde hair, blue eyes, pretty face and women are lining up
to train with him. All the hot chicks want him initially.The guy is swamped and he could get any pussy he wants, but since his game is shit, he doesn't see much success. Too polite, talks a lot, no action. He trains women usually at the time I go to the gym so I can observe the process of specific women with him, so allow me to demonstrate:
Week 1: they are ecstatic, they laugh like crazy at the lame talk, wear full make up, dress in the most revealing clothes, preen their hair, touch their lips, lean forward at him, look only at him all the time
Week 2: same as the above, yet now they are growing a little bored, start looking around and noticing other guys
Week 3: their positive reactions have cooled down a lot, now they check out other guys regularly, their conversation is merely polite now
Week 4: they are really bored now, the attraction is still there, hope however is not, so they start looking for other options
Week 5: now here is the split - after seing no (romantic) progress with him they either stop training with him or they give in and still train just for kicks.
Week 6: the girls who quit training with him are back and are now training alone, seeking other guys attention - this is where I come in

Now imagine this - if a sexy tall blonde guy with a ton of compliance (as a trainer) cannot compete with me - a not so tall dark haired guy, athletic, good fundamentals + game, then you know it is not all about looks.
After having first hand experience and reading Chase's article on fascination I learned this lesson first hand. Forget hair color, eye color, bad prior experience with women of certain looks and turn a new leaf.
Funny this is - I had the WORST experience of my life with a girl who was very much like me lookwise - dark haired, brown eyes and after I got nowhere with her, I did a lot more cold approaches
and here is the funny part - I found a girl who looked just like her, but her personality was more suited to me and we got together. After the first woman got wind of this, she started chasing me like crazy
but too little too late...

 

[Fuck This]

Quit putting so much emphasis on your frigging phenotype!
Definition to head off the questions.

phe·no·type
ˈfēnəˌtīp/
noun
the set of observable characteristics of an individual resulting from the interaction of its genotype with the environment.

Is doesn't account for her past experiences or curiosity about people who look different than her. That's a big part of it....Same goes for hobbies, profession, neighborhood, etc.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Commenting on Spez's post, initial attraction makes things ten times easier, especially in our modern age of dating apps.

As for this thread, I think there might be some truth to it. I see a ton of hot tanned brunettes with fat or ugly pale guys, often blond too. Now I know for a fact that in a lot of brown countries like those in South America, there is this perception that the whiter you are the richer you are. Then again I see this with white women that have a tanned appearance to them as well, there is definitely some sort of hunger for something "different" going on. I mean look at that Emily Ratajkowski chick, she dated ugly ginger Ed Sheeran and then her current husband looks like an absolute troll.

IMO, I think girls that want to climb the social ladder and care a great deal about status will want to date a blonde haired guy because blonde hair has been associated with higher class.

The other thing I see is Northern European looking women mixing it up with minorities, not just blacks these days either. Just the other day I was at the mall walking around and I saw this sexyass blonde with a nice fat ass and slim waist walking hand in hand with a brown guy that could have been either a Mexican, Indian or Middle Eastern. Blonde girls with darker guys is most definitely a thing as well and redheads LOVE darker skinned dudes.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

The other thing I will note is that it is mainly white and Caucasian women that care about this sort of shit.

A lot of my ethnic friends do just fine with other ethnic women. One of my friends is Indian and a hit with latina women, would not have it any other way.

On the flip side I do notice that darker featured or dark haired white women tend to be more bitter and defensive than blondes and gingers. My theory is that the darker someone who is white is, the more they feel like they need to compensate for their lack of whiteness. It is no mystery why countries like Spain and Italy are among the most racist countries in western Europe, because these are also the countries with the swarthiest people. Same with Eastern Europe, the more darker skinned countries are also those that have some of the most hateful people in them.

So the reason you might see some knockout chick with dark hair going for a pale guy is because she is trying to compensate for her lack of whiteness. Now the Jenner twins seem to be an exception to this rule and the way I see it, it is because they grew up adoring their kind of look which led to them being more open minded.