Etiquette PSA: Don't do these oafish things when responding to someone's thread

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,505
We've had an explosion in etiquette problems on here of late.

I'm not sure exactly why that is. Perhaps the general decline of civility as the West regresses to a state just above barbarism. Or maybe we just every so often need reminders. Not sure.

Anyway, if you do any of these things:

  • Try to social ladder climb, with backhanded remarks about members more advanced than you saying stuff that only applies to beginners or intermediates when you know they didn't mean it like that

  • Dump all over someone's post, that he clearly put a lot of work into, in the FIRST response to that post in his thread (never mind doing it anywhere in the thread... doing it in Response #1 is just beyond tacky)

  • Adopt any kind of extreme position like "Such-and-such is for losers" that you know others here won't agree with and you're adopting just to be provocative, or just because your opinions are that crucial to spread around that you need to spread them so others will know not to do those things lest you think them losers

  • Any kind of passive-aggressive nonsense

  • Any kind of flame-warring, needling, pointless criticism, etc.

... then head over to your local social calibration clinic and ask them for a checkup.

Because no one wants to have to deal with that.

We're all here to learn better calibration.

Part of that is calibration with peers -- not just with women.

Being able to interact with other men, especially high value men with valuable perspectives and the ability and willingness to talk with you, is an absolutely crucial life skill. If all you can do is be a dick to guys who are smart, experienced, and thoughtful, then you are going to find yourself learning alone very quickly.

You also will not be long for the world with this forum.

Don't be extreme about this. You can have opinions. You can disagree with people. Forums are for debate. But if you disagree, you must do so with CIVILITY. Don't condescend. Don't be a dick. Don't be an absolutist. ATTEMPT to see the other guy's perspective. If you cannot understand why he'd say something as silly as whatever it is he said you think is silly, give him the benefit of the doubt and assume (especially if he's a higher ranking member) there's probably a reason, even if you can't perceive it.

Mind your manners.

We're not a band of brigands on here.

This is supposed to be a group of men learning to be highly socially calibrated, to be more successful with women and also with others in general.

I have never met a guy at the upper echelons of skill with women who was not also extremely cool/diplomatic with other men.

You should be striving for this as much as girl success. Sometimes forums are bad environments for diplomacy, I understand (very little social feedback over text).

But strive for it.

And if you can't be reasonably diplomatic... there's always YouTube comments for you.

They still let people be trashy over there.

Might be a better home for you if so.

Chase
 
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