fog talks about women

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: backstory's frontstory

Hey backstory,

Looks very good with this girl.

backstory said:
Me: yeah no kidding, I've never dated another guy and dont want to, but for some reason gay guys are obsessed with me. it's annoying.
Hope: cause youre a cutie
Me: youre just saying that so you can get in my pants :)
Hope: But hey you called me cute too
Hope: Does that mean you're trying to get in my pants?
Me: maybe, you'll have to wait and find out
I've never been reverse chase framed like that, so it caught me off guard. I felt the best way was to just be mysterious about it.
Yes, that was the best thing to do. Good job here.

I've been doing thinking about why she reverse chase framed me like that but can't figure out any reasons why, besides the fact she's interested and intrigued by me.
Yes indeed.

I wasn't sure what that last remark meant. I feel like she was basically saying "let's just fuck and make our own story."
That's exactly what she meant. In general, trust your intuition.

To me, this girl looks very much into you and her latest comment on sex story is a massive escalation window. You have to exploit it as soon as practically possible before it vanishes. The caveat to be aware: just because a girl invites you to approach her (as is the case here) doesn't mean she'll make it easy for you. You will still have to go through her ASD, care about plausible deniability, and escalate her like a boss. She wants to submit but cannot just make it easy. The approach invitation is just the start, you still need to conquer her. So when you meet her, make sure you have a plan to take her to an intimate place.

By the way I want to ask. You mention "I made it up cuz I'm a virgin". In the past year since you started writing this journal, did you lose your virginity? You described several experiences where you went pretty intimate with girls, but I just wonder if you went all the way.

Looking at your journal it seems you are doing many things right, in texting and building tension for instance. I know also that girls have an intuitive sense ("detector") to tell them which guys actually get laid a lot, and which don't. Once you lose it (if not already) your results should skyrocket.

Cheers,
Seppuku
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

Hi Seppuku,

I haven't lost my virginity yet. I'm ready to lose it now and just want to get it over with so I can keep improving. There's only so far I am going to be able to go before I hit a wall because of my lack of sexual experience. I've heard a lot about the "detector" you mentioned. I have a feeling it was painfully obvious to the girls I've been with in the past that I don't get laid. I can't wait to get so good with girls that they just sense i'm good with women.

The fact you think my results will skyrocket once I lose it is encouraging to me. I'm planning to fuck sooo many women to make up for all the years I haven't been having sex.

I hope that this escalation window she has given me won't close before I can get into town and make a move on her. Last night she was talking to me saying things like "I'm horny" and "I want sex all the time and I can't get enough." I told her I liked that she was so honest about that with me! As we talked further, she was putting up a bit of resistance saying that she doesn't have sex when she's not in relationships because she gets feelings too easily. I handled the resistance pretty good in my opinion. You're right, Seppuku, this is going to be a challenge for me.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: backstory's frontstory

Just want to comment on this for now:

backstory said:
As we talked further, she was putting up a bit of resistance saying that she doesn't have sex when she's not in relationships because she gets feelings too easily.
Girls are innate champions at this. They do it intuitively, without thinking, when we really have to learn that stuff. She's doing two things here. 1. "I am not that kind of woman" - building her ASD and rationalizing about her horniness. 2. "Sex only in relationships" - and framing you for a relationship.

Good to know what she is doing, and best to ignore and move forward. Disqualify yourself early on as BF, isolate her, and escalate.

Cheers man!
Seppuku
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

This post is going to be dedicated to some of my recent improvements, strategies I have been developing, and some goals I have for the next 4 months. I'm aiming to improve in all aspects of my life, but of course my main two focal points will be seduction and music. Right now I'm sober, eating healthy, sleeping well, exercising, and otherwise in good health and this is going to be critical for continuing to develop the mindset I need to succeed.

My posture while standing up straight is excellent, however I noticed that my posture was poor while sitting down. At first it was hard as shit and actually hurt and was uncomfortable. As a result of this, I made a plan to do it in chunks. One day I sat up straight for 5 minutes, then I'd just keep doing it longer and longer everyday. And now it doesn't even hurt and it's automatic. I don't even have to think about sitting with proper posture, it just happens. I'm happy I achieved this goal and it's really going to help with looking dominant whatever I do. I bet it was a bit incongruent to people when they would see me standing so straight, then slumping while sitting down. Not anymore though.

I've mentioned that I have synesthesia and part of it is that I can sense colour off of people's vibes. The majority of people I talk to about this are intrigued by this. When I tell women about it, they start asking me questions like crazy about it, asking what their colour is and otherwise trying to figure it out. I used to answer these questions straight up. But recently I've been more mysterious about it and not directly answering questions about it. I realize that this is going to be an incredible way for me to build intrigue. I'm thinking about introducing this early on in my conversations, and having it be one of the only things girls know about me.

I've struggled with having cool hair for the longest time. I could never figure out what to do with my hair. I got it all figured out. :) Lately I've been wearing it semi long and super messy. Kind of like bedhead. It looks pretty good and I feel like it fits me. I've had a few older women say they like it, but I'm not sure what the younger chicks think. I'm going to continue growing it out.

I bought a really cool button up shirt from the 70s a few weeks ago. I got it tailored and it fits so good, even better than all my other clothes I got tailored! I look great in it. It might take a while but I can't wait to build up my wardrobe with sick shirts that fit really well like this one I already have a really cool style (in my opinion), but not everything fits the greatest...I think my problem was that I was getting clothes tailored that didn't even have a chance of fitting well in the first place.

I have a little bit of experience under my belt now I feel like, so I actually know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. This is immensely helpful to me, obviously... I can really tell what state my attainability is in. Here's some goals I have for the coming months:

1. Grab girl's asses
2. Tell more sex stories and get better at talking about sex in general
3. Use chase frames in person (I've been using a lot over text, but not in person)
4. Use cold reads more often
5. Continue to work on setting frames properly
6. Work on these facial expressions: the skeptical look, the exasperated look, the cocky look, the "okaaay...." look, and the clueless look. I just want to be able to convey whatever I want without saying words.
7. Start going to the gym.
8. Be more dominant

Lately when I set goals, I have an all or nothing attitude about it. This is detrimental to me. For example, take my goal of sitting up straight. When I first started, I felt like I had to sit up straight all the time, which was overwhelming and unrealistic. It was better to gradually build up to sitting straight all the time so it wasn't such a shock to my back after having poor sitting posture for years. I will keep this in mind when setting more goals.

There's a lot more to talk about but that's about it for now. Probably going to have a nap and then make some music.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

I am currently back in my hometown staying at my parent's place.

My best friend who lives here is very good at sexual joking. I on the other hand, am not, so I am going to make a note to improve in that area and learn from him.

I like coming home because my friends and family are quick to note any changes in my appearance since the last time they saw me. My mom thinks my hair is different looking, but she says it would look more flattering if it was an inch shorter. My best friend on the other hand made these comments: "It looks like a tasmanian devil whipped through your hair" "its really in your face, like boom look at me now!" "it looks like you stuck your head out of a car window." He told me he loved it. I like it yes, but I am getting kind of worried about my image. My hair is wild and out of control, and I wear really bright attention grabbing clothing. So what are people going to think when they see me? They will think I'm some crazy, high energy, maybe even weird, guy. However, I sure am a tad weird, but I am most definitely not crazy or high energy. I consider myself an introvert and am calm and quiet. I don't want this to cause an incongruency in what people are expecting from me, so maybe I will have to adjust my behaviour a little bit. Either way, the fact that I look a little wild would definitely help if I were to start being really unpredictable (which women love).

Went to the bar last night, I was quite drunk. I talked to a few chicks but never got past the hook point with any of them. When I get drunk, I lose control of my facial expressions, so I feel like this definitely played a role in the lack of interest. I probably mentioned this, but I'm realizing that non verbals are so important. The bar is definitely a great place to get some experience, but either way I'm going to be working hard on them the next two weeks. I am currently practising the skeptical look.

Also, sometimes I walk normally, but now I'm going to push myself to walk sexy everywhere I go for a whole week. You know, I see people walking around and it looks like they are expending so much effort just to walk! That is not attractive at all.

No real girls to talk about, I haven't heard from Summer. Hope is acting pretty cold towards me when I text her. Been trying to set some things up with a few other chicks, although theres nothing interesting to report on yet. This week I'm going to be hanging out with this one chick I've known for ages. We used to have a crush on each other (nothing ever came of it) and kissed a few times (shes a terrible kisser, the worst ever...uggh). We text a lot actually, but it's mostly just friendly conversation. When we hang out I'm really gonna turn up the heat and see what happens. I'll report back on that later.

I've been really horny (Friday especially) and I know girls can sense it. On Friday, I caught girls looking at me everywhere I went.

When you just have a thought in your head, it's not really solidified in your reality and you don't really realize the full implication of it. Obviously this is why journalling can be really good to help you realize things. On the other hand, this is why chase framing is so important. It really helps the chick realize she wants you and solidifies it in her reality. I hope that makes sense.

I need a mentor!!!
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

I spent Friday and Saturday night at the bar. This was valuable experience for me as I gained a ton of reference points. A lot of things I did well, but there were also a lot of mistakes I made. I was feeling bold.

Last night I grabbed 3 girl's asses. I really should have looked all three girls in the eye after doing this but I didn't do that! Two of the reactions were neutral, and took place after I was done dancing with them. The other one said, "my ass is not up for grabs." in a semi-serious way. (we were just talking). I want to do this during the daytime too. Is there anybody on the boards that does that? I know Hector does that but its pretty calibrated.

Another thing I did great at all weekend was touch (in general). In the past I have felt a little bit reserved about this. My thoughts were, "it's gonna be weird and seem awkward if I randomly touch her like this at this point in the conversation." But I've found it doesn't even matter..I was touching every girl I talked to consistently and I didn't get any bad reactions. Random shoulder/arm touches and grabs are not a big deal at all. I was sitting down and talking to this one girl I hadn't seen in a while. We were talking about how she has been finding it difficult to get a job. I didn't even realize it but my finger drawing shapes on her upper legs. When I realized it I was kind of surprised that she was letting me do that. It just seems like something girls would be uncomfortable with if it was just randomly happening. I pushed it a little further and rested my hand on her leg. Lately I've noticed I've been pushing myself ever so slightly. It feels good to do this and be outside of my comfort zone, cuz I'm doing things I never thought I would do.

It was a goal of mine to transition from using chase frames through text, to using them in person. I accomplished that this weekend. I'll be honest, my use of them was pretty clunky. My problem was that the majority of the time I didn't use the correct tone of voice or facial expressions. And the actual words I used were sort of weird, a little too direct and could have been better suited to the conversation at hand. Probably made myself look like an idiot but at least I know what I was doing wrong. Reactions to my chase frames were mostly expressions of disinterest.

I used the skeptical look a lot this weekend. A lot of opportunities came up to use it. Except there was this one time I neglected to use it. This one girl said to me, "shut your mouth zach." All I did was raise my eyebrows at her. It was just automatic. That's what I seem to do a lot in those kind of situations. However, using a skeptical or bored look would have been better. I saw this good looking guy at the bar last night and he was talking to this girl. I saw him use a few facial expressions and they were so good and powerful!

I was pre gaming at my friends house, there were a good amount of chicks there. My buddy told me about this one chick there. He said she got married in exchange for a car, then got divorced. Something like that. So I went up to her and this was the conversation:

Backstory: I heard a rumor about you and I wanna know if it's true.
Girl: What is it?
Backstory: Wait, first...what's your name?
Girl: Haha! Good luck!
And after saying that, she walked away from me. I found it was so weird. My buddy saw it happen and talked to her friend about it. He said that she said that this girl is usually very friendly and never a bitch or anything....he was confused. I have a potential explanation for it. I've been practicing my sexual vibe and wearing a really mischevious/sexy smile. So this lady most likely knew right away what she was getting herself into and probably thought I was a player. but she wasn't interested so she just shut me down. Plus the whole rumor comment could have been received as sexual in nature by her. Anyways, this is powerful to me. If girls know right away what they can expect from me, then it's going to save me a lot of time. There's not going to be any beating around the bush trying to figure out if a girl is into me or not. They're either gonna reject me straight away or they're gonna hang around.

My friend and I made a silly bet that if I hooked up with his ex, he'd give me 200$. I wouldn't doubt it if he told her about that. No biggie, I'm not planning for it to happen. A totally different chick in our friend group came over to my friend's place. And she starts talking to me saying "Why did you make a bet that you could fuck me for 200$" or something like that. I made a mistake by telling her that the bet was for a different girl, not her. By doing this, I defused a fuckload of sexual tension. I messed up even further after. She started saying we were just friends. I said to her, "I'm not your friend." There really could have been a better way to handle this. I could have grabbed her ass and said "Do friends do this?" or I could have just flashed her a naughty look.

These two chicks I've known for a while came to my friend's house last night but they were just standing around at the front door with their shoes. They weren't sure if they wanted to stay or not. I went and sat on the couch and said to one of the chicks "Hey come sit on the couch with me." So she comes and sits on the couch with me and she was sitting right beside me, our legs were touching. She was really aggressive, I guess she was pissed off (or maybe just horny). We were talking with the other people in the room and the conversation in general was sexually charged, especially between me and her. I was chase framing her a little bit and there was lots of touch. She left the house, and came back a half hour later. She had to change for the bar. But she just wasn't all that interested in me. Later I was sitting next to her on the couch and I tried talking to me. But she was more interested in her cell phone. I started talking to her about fucking celebrities but it was a little awkward, I could have brought up the sex talk better.

I approached an older lady at the bar. She started asking how old I was. I said "Old enough." I tried deep diving her but she insisted on me telling her my age. I told her my age, then she says she's 34. She said that shes way too old for me. I said "Age isn't a problem for me" That was my first time handling an age objection, and it was awkward and lame! I'm gonna read some articles on how to deal with that.

Overall, a pretty good weekend like I said. Unfortunately my conversations were pretty dry. I just couldn't have a good conversation this weekend. I didn't know what to say! Made it tough to talk to the girls I approached at the bar.

Summer and I are talking again. I thought she had gone into auto rejection, but I guess not. I forget if I had talked about it or not, but she was being rude and distant towards me through text. After that, we didn't talk for a while. I was kind of hurt to be honest, but I'm really glad I didn't chase. Here's what she said to me recently:

summer: hi backstory. i kinda miss you in my life. idk ur just really cool and i thought we got along but then idk where you wandered to. why don't you ever answer me anymore? it makes me feel sad
This kinda made me mad. Cuz she was acting like it was MY FAULT we stopped talking. oh well, whatever. Seppuku says making the guy take responsibility is a speciality of women. It's just an excuse for her to start talking to me again. Now shes saying this:

summer: when you get back you should come over :) i wanna show you my place. I got netflix and we can chill
lol nice. that's a pretty good escalation window to take advantage of. I'm definitely interested in dating her. I view this as a second chance for me to step up and make some things happen. I need to be more aggressive and assertive. I'm not heading back till next weekend so I'm just gonna keep her on the back burner till then.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

I'm feeling confused right now. Tonight I was at the bar. It was close to closing time. This weekend was a tiring one for me and I was hungover as hell today. I went and sat down on a couch. On the couch next to me, there were two native chicks. I didn't bother opening them, I just wanted to chill. The one girl who was closest to me was looking at me and acting really pumped up by the music. She was actually fist pumping a little lol, then she started encouraging me to do the same. So I took her hand in mine and we were throwing our hands up in the air. Then we stood up and were jumping around. She says, "lets go out to the dance floor." I said "Okay" She says "I'm following you." So we go out to the dance floor. I couldn't establish a rhythm. The DJ was shitty as hell and this chick was doing some weird moves that I couldn't get into. During this time we're looking at each other and she's doing this thing where she raises her eyebrows at me really quickly a few times. There was some sexual tension built because i got really close to her face.

So then we get off the dance floor and the lights come on. We're talking a little bit, and theres a lot of touch going on between me and her. My friend starts talking to the other chick my girl is with. It turns out that this is her sister. I'll call my girl Karly and her sister Holly. My friends name is Dan.

The bouncers kick us out cuz its waaay past two. We're all standing outside just talking. I was talking to Dan about what was going to happen. He said he didnt think that Holly was interested in him, but he was willing to let us all come back to his place if we could get both the girls to come. I did not want to bring Karly to my parents place.

Sooo several times I'm saying to Karly, "hey wanna come back to my place and we can talk some more?" or "Hey wanna come back to my place and we can drink some more!?" But she wasn't really biting. It was cold out. I know I just said I didn't wanna bring her back to my parents place but I was down to do it, kinda, just to be risky.

Dan lives super close to the bar we were at so we ended up convincing both girls to come back to his place. We get to his place and it's just us 4, and we're drinking some more. Karly and I are sitting on one couch, and Dan and Holly are sitting on the other couch. At this point Karly and I are still touching each other. I put her hand on my thigh and shes rubbing it. She leans in and kisses me a little bit. Dan was really sure that Holly didn't want him, but he's got his arm around her.

At this point I'm a little anxious because I know that I should have made a move and isolated her by now, but it hasn't happened yet. I was expecting Dan and Holly to go into Dan's room so that me and Karly could be alone in the living room, but that didn't happen.

Karly needs to look in her purse for something, so we go into the bathroom where there's some light. She starts asking, "are we just friends now?" I said "no we're not friends." She leaves the bathroom and she starts becoming a little bit distant from me. She's just chilling in the bathroom hallway. She says, "we should be best friends." I don't remember what I said. But I persisted a little bit with my touch and we were making out in the bathroom hallway and I was grabbing her ass and rubbing my hands all over her body. She was into it but then she went back into the living room.

This happened a few more times, where she would start ignoring me and being really distant, then we would start touching me again. By this point I was confused as hell! Was I unattainable or too attainable?

Long story short, Dan went into his room with Holly. Karly and I were sitting on the couch in the living room. She was acting really shy and weird. Like she had a blanket over her head. She was sitting on the couch with me, but she wasn't sitting next to me like before. Then she moved all the way to the other side of the couch. We weren't even saying anything to each other. She would look at me every so often. When I looked at her, she would raise her eyebrows a million times like she was doing earlier. She said two things. The first thing I didn't understand. It was.. "Everything is so new and different." Then later she said "Omg this is so awkward." I tried deep diving her but she wouldn't reply at all, and then I knew my goose was cooked!

I was trying to turn off the TV and was kneeling on the ground. And she came up to me and stood behind me and her legs were touching my shoulders. This could have been my last chance but I didn't do anything. Shortly after, she left.....

I don't know where I went wrong! I have a feeling that because I didn't move quick enough, she started to get second thoughts about what was going on and went into auto rejection. Or maybe I didn't build enough comfort? Can anyone offer some advice?

I'll post more about my weekend tomorrow, it's nearly 6AM here and just wanted to get this off my head.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

I'm a little mad at myself for the failed escalation that happened last night. I can't figure out where I went wrong and it's driving me insane. I know in the future when I get more experience, the answer will likely reveal itself to me.

I accomplished my goal of practicing a manly walk for a whole week straight. I've been practising it so much since then, it's basically become second nature to me to walk like that. I don't even have to think about it anymore, it's great! Last night I was at my friend's house for pre drinks before we were going to the bar and I was walking around in the house. Later, my friend, August and I are talking and she says this:

August: Backstory I was talking to everyone earlier about how you have such a big ego
Me: Haha why do you say that?
August: I saw you walking and you were really strutting your stuff. I love it!
I love comments like this because it makes me realize that yes, what I'm practicing is working and people are noticing.

Later on last night, we were at the bar. My friend started talking to this one girl, so I opened her friend by being cocky funny. Her name is Angela:

Backstory: Hey, I like your eyebrows!
Angela: Thanks.
Backstory: They're the fourth best eyebrows I've seen tonight. :)
Angela: ....
Angela: (Huge grin on her face) Are you making fun of me?
Backstory: (Shrugs) I dunno!
Angela: My eyebrows are pencilled on!
I was touching her eyebrows to see if they were real or not and I think that made her a tad uncomfortable. She was laughing a lot though. She ended up running off but I saw her again later in the night and opened her again. When you come into the bar, they give you a stamp on your wrist, except she had gotten two stamps on her cleavage. I said,

Backstory: Hey are those hickeys?
Angela: No they're stamps

I started touching her cleavage and then we stopped talking again. So then I saw her a final third time, but this was were I screwed things up. I was standing near the dance floor and she came up behind me and put her arms around me. I reached behind my back to put my arms on her thighs, except I knocked her beer out of her hand and spilled it all over her. She got pissed and ran off, I did not see her again after that. If I hadn't spilled the beer on her, I was gonna be in a good position to have something happen between me and her. Oh well.

Friday night was a good night as well except I got ridiculously drunk and this was the ultimate reason why I was not able to pull any chicks home that night. I was at my friends house again for predrinks. This one girl showed up called Annie and we were sitting on the couch together. Our legs were touching. When we were talking, she would mirror my facial expressions. Both good signs. Later on in the night, I was talking to a different chick on the couch. She was married, but I was being touchy with her anyways and I was deep diving her. It was a really good conversation. Annie comes into the room and sees this happening. She came over and slapped my hand and said "Hey what are you doing" with kind of a jealous look on her face. Preselection works wonders! I quit talking to the other chick and held her hand for a good 20 seconds.

So we get to the bar and by this time I'm just completely wasted. Annie actually grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor to dance with her. Except I couldn't get a good rhythm going. This seems to be a recurring problem. So we stop dancing. After this, every single time I would see Annie, I would not do anything. I wasn't leading and I wasn't being dominant. If I had been doing those things then I could have pulled something off. Needless to say she went and talked to some other guy and went home with him. The next night I saw her at the bar again and went up to talk to her, but she brushed me off. I was totally expecting that though.

That pretty well sums up my whole entire weekend. I saw my ex at the bar and sucked on her tit in the middle of the crowd, I have no idea how that even came about. I thought that was hilarious.

And also, I got a haircut and it's looking way better than before.

What I did good: Touch, use of facial expressions, pushed myself to open random girls, used the triangle gaze. Screened for logistics (asking who are you with, where do you live, etc), and used a purr in my voice.
What I did bad: Didn't close anything properly, at some points I was not leading and not being dominant, my conversations were rather poor. My eye contact could have been more sharp

Goals for this week: Learn the clueless look, continue to use chase frames in person and practice delivering them properly. Work on eye contact (it's pretty good, but needs sharpening.)
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: backstory's frontstory

Hey backstory,

I just read about Karly and want to give you my take on it.

At this point I'm a little anxious because I know that I should have made a move and isolated her by now, but it hasn't happened yet.
Not sure how long you stayed on this couch before she broke off to the restrooms, but I suspect a little bit of time. I think you were very good at building sexual tension with her, prior that. The peak of the tension is you boys taking them to a private place. Her expectation is also now at a peak... And instead of making things happen, you stay on this couch and become anxious. She feels it. Seems to her that you don't know what you're doing... and incongruent with your previous self. It conflicts with the image she had built about you. She's now like "we should be best friends.", escalation window closed, game over.

The higher her excitement and sexual tension, the shorter the escalation window. The more you look like the Lover guy, the higher her expectations, and the less margin of error allowed.

You should have taken her to bed before this "anxiety" builds up. Remember, she's acutely aware of how comfortable you are. All the rest was very good. You're getting there, just need to debug the final phase of seduction.

Cheers,
Seppuku
PS. Did your friend ended up fucking Holly?
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

Daammn Seppuku thats a good response as to why this was a failed escalation. Everything you say always makes so much sense! One of my main goals moving forward will be moving quicker with women.

I found out something about Karly that I didn't know at the time. She has a boyfriend. Holly told Dan the morning after. So that also definitely played a part in how the night turned out. The longer I waited, the more time she had to think about the situation and reconsider cheating on him.

Yes, Dan fucked Holly and he says it was rather boring.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
Middle East, Asia, Africa
Re: backstory's frontstory

backstory said:
Daammn Seppuku thats a good response as to why this was a failed escalation. Everything you say always makes so much sense! One of my main goals moving forward will be moving quicker with women.
You did a good job growing her expectation of it, but somewhat she ended up disappointed when you hesitated to take action. Emotion gone, deal abruptly off.

I found out something about Karly that I didn't know at the time. She has a boyfriend. Holly told Dan the morning after. So that also definitely played a part in how the night turned out. The longer I waited, the more time she had to think about the situation and reconsider cheating on him.
She was letting you taking her to bed without mentioning him. She would have fucked with you, with no second thoughts about him. Yes, he probably returned to her mind, but only after the emotion was gone and she started rationalizing about not doing it.

I had a few cases like this, where the girl already had a boyfriend but "forgot" telling me about him, and happily let me fuck her. Haha. Makes you think, really! But it makes sense. The girls are, first and foremost, sexual creatures. Their loyalty goes to the strongest male, and there could be a stronger one around the corner anytime. That's also why you can never relax afford in a relationship and show your weaknesses to her.

Yes, Dan fucked Holly and he says it was rather boring.
Interesting, right? And he thought she was not much into him. Another food for thought.

Overall, a very interesting experience. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're doing it right 95pct of the way, congrats for that! Even with more experience, we still sometimes fail in the remaining 5pct. I'm looking forward to your first LR, and I guess that's very soon.

Cheers,
Seppuku
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

Hello my friends,

The past few days I have missed a few escalation windows. I didn't even realize they were escalation windows until after the fact.

I borrowed a field recorder from my school's library and was walking around with it, recording my school's atmosphere. It was in the evening. That night there was some sort of event going on at my school. It hadn't started yet so there was a huge lineup outside the room it was taking place in. I was walking through the lineup and these girls were in my way. Here's what was said:

backstory: excuse me
girl: oh, sorry!
backstory: *walking past her*
girl: *pats me on the back once* have a good night.
backstory: *turns around* you have a good night too.
This would have been a perfect opportunity to talk to her some more, but I walked away.

Every day this week I have been getting compliments on my clothing style, even from random strangers on the street. My classmates are noticing as well. The past few days I have been sitting at the back of class, not introducing myself to anyone. I haven't been feeling too friendly. However yesterday I sat in front of two girls. The one girl, a redhead, immediately opened me saying "I love the shirts you wear! They're awesome." I chatted a little bit with the two girls, except it was mostly boring conversation with average eye contact on my part. I am NOT happy about this.

I'm going to make some moves on the redhead. My plan is to sit beside her in class today and have a deeper, more interesting chat with her with great eye contact. Then on Monday I'll get her number.

I'm going to some parties this weekend. I'll be posting about them later.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

I really impressed myself tonight, but am also quite disappointed in myself.....

I went to a party and it was great! I knew a lot of people, but there were also some people I didn't know. I started off by talking to some guys, then eventually transitioned into talking to girls. When I started talking to girls, I was being cocky-funny, and it was having a good effect. I was really feeling the social momentum. I'd say I had conversations with 4-5 girls. I can't remember (although I should). From this I got two numbers. Here's the conversations:

backstory: put your number in my phone.
girl: why?
backstory: cuz youre a cool girl!
girl: just add me on Facebook
backstory: i dont have Facebook, i deleted it a long time ago
girl: Okay. *adds number into my phone*
This was a mistake - She doesn't know what I want from her now. Saying that she was a cool girl was super wishy washy. I found out after the fact that she has a boyfriend. Probably won't end up texting her, but it's worth a try.

The other girl who's number I got, I didn't even have to finish my sentence. I said "Hey give me...." while handing her my phone and she says "Sure!" and puts it in. Body language played a part here. I'm not really too sure how to text girls the day after giving them my number, so I'll have to do some research on that.

I want to mention that nearly everyone I talked to tonight complimented me on my sense of style, even random people. It feels good yeah. The thing that is the coolest is that even really good looking guys were telling me they loved my style.

So here's the part where I'm disappointed. I was standing around in a group and there was this one chick who would not stop staring at me and she would consistently raise her eyebrows at me. She was into me and we were flirting really hard. She's sitting on this chair and I was thinking about asking her to come outside with me. But there was this nagging voice in the back of my head...I was thinking "No it's too big a move, shes probably not ready yet, it's gonna be awkward" I thought this because I hadn't really touched her yet, even though we were into each other. She was always on different chairs than me... So ultimately in my opinion, things went downhill from there.

I went downstairs, then came back up and she's sitting on the couch. My friend is on one side of her, and her friends are on the other side. I tell my friend and her to make some space so I can sit beside her. Our legs are touching and I periodically rub her leg a little bit with my hand. Her friends are talking about going home. I didn't know what to do! I was wimping out! A part of me didn't want to hook up with her. So when her friends are talking about going home, I'm practically ignoring this chick, and I can sense the awkwardness and uncomfortableness creeping in. She was waiting for me to say something. That's when I knew it was done. She left with her friends. I bet she's pissed at me!!!! I didn't know what to say while sitting on the couch with her and her friends so that we could push things further. Yeah, I'm pretty pissed at myself. I coulda gone home with her but I didn't because I'm scared of losing my virginity and I wasn't sure if I wanted to lose it to her. Next time, I will just have to push myself and ignore this voice in my head.

Used the skeptical look a few times tonight and it worked SO GOOD!!!! I just need to get better at my facial expressions, I feel they were off most of the time because I couldn't stop grinning like a mad man.

On a separate note, I made some comment to a girl saying "Your pants won't be on later." The whole interaction was a little uncalibrated to begin with. She was following me down a flight of 6 stairs and I said to her "Why are you following me!???" She denied it. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I said, "come up here with me" She asked "why?" but I just motioned her to follow me. We were bantering, and then I made the pants comment. Well later the owner of the house comes up to me and says, "Hey there's some girls who told me that you've been making them uncomfortable. If you do that again then I'm going to have to kick you out." I had a good laugh at that, but erred on the side of caution the rest of the night. I don't want to get kicked out from that place because it's a popular spot where my friends hang out. When he said that to me, I was confused. All I was doing all night was teasing and touching (in a barely sexual way). Then my friend told me that the girl who I made the pants comment to, was the one who felt uncomfortable by it. In my opinion, it's good that a girl (or some girls) are uncomfortable by the way that I'm acting. If I don't get in girls faces, and touch them, and make sexual comments, then I'm not going to get laid. The girls who aren't into me won't like that stuff, but the girls who do will love it.

What are my goals for next time? I need to keep doing what I'm doing, it's working pretty good. But I need to focus on my facial expressions. Also, I gotta push myself when it comes to inviting girls home. And, as well, I can't ignore my instincts. I should have isolated that girl when my gut told me to. One of my other goals is to number close a lot more and figure out what to text girls the day after. I also noticed that during the day when I'm sober, I touch girls with the back of my hand. I need to switch this and start touching them with the palm of my hand.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

Last night I had conversations with 7 girls. From this I asked two of them for their number, saying that we should hang out. They both complied. However today I am looking at my phone and seeing that the one girl only put in her name, and not her number. I'm laughing a little bit at that. I'm not feeling any pressure asking girls for their number, so I think that a proper goal would be to ask for the number of every girl I have a conversation with.

I was talking to this one girl and she was pretty unreactive to begin with. We were talking and holding good eye contact but she could care less about me. Then I started teasing her too much and she looked to the side and her interest started waning. I knew it was the result of my teasing and she started going into auto rejection. I knew that I was becoming unattainable. It's good that I understand this but I was also a little confused. I wasn't sure where to take the conversation next so that I could pull her out of auto rejection. Obviously I needed to quit the teasing but I think I needed to start getting to really know her in order to do this. I can easily recognize where my attainability lies, but tailoring my conversations around it at lightning speed and adapting to the situation at hand is something I am looking forward to working on.

I continued using cocky-funny lines last night. To one brazillian I said, "You're pretty cute....for a brazillian." She said "Thanks!" Then moments later she says "Wait are you saying that all brazillians are ugly?" I shrugged and changed the subject. Is it better to address these questions and joke around some more? The cops kicked us out of where we were so we were walking around. I gave her my number and invited her and her friend to come back to my place to drink some more. She said she had to go home and change first, which was an obvious no to me.

All of my openers were indirect. I am going to start using direct openers. Girls don't realize my intentions because of my indirect openers and I don't like that.

Towards the end of the night I went to a quieter party. I talked to one girl but my energy levels were way off compared to hers. I was a little bit hyper and on edge, and she was totally relaxed. After a few minutes I could sense her going into auto-rejection. Her body language just got more and more closed off. I think if I was a little bit more relaxed then this would have gone better. In general I needed to be more relaxed. This weekend girls were asking how drunk I was/what kind of drugs I was on. I only had one beer and a few sips of wine the entire weekend and was completely sober.. I guess you could say I was being quite expressive especially in my vocal tonality and volume.

All the girls were willing to hold solid eye contact with me and their attention was 100% focussed on me. It was like we were in a little bubble. But at the same time, I felt like they didn't have an interest in me. They were not very emotional at all. I felt like they wouldn't be disappointed if I were to just walk off and talk to someone else. Maybe they were attracted, but I didn't build enough of a good connection and didn't display my interest correctly. Part of me ask thinks I didn't offer any value to them. Also, I didn't move any of the girls. I considered it, but in my head I was wondering what I would say..? "Hey let's go walk around the party?" or something like that? There was no where to sit or anything!

I feel like there is something wrong with my conversations but I'm not sure what. I was doing most of the talking last night and feel that I didn't reach a hook point with a lot of the girls.

I wish I was able to put my thoughts together in a way that made sense to me and I could figure out what I was doing wrong. Since I'm not sure I'm just going to try out the direct openers next time and see how girls react differently.

My touch was good, I am starting to touch girls for longer. For example I now put my hand on a girls shoulder and just leave it there. Now what I need to do is use more riskier touching consistently.

Soooo to recap: I need to calibrate my energy levels, start using direct openers, ask for a lot more phone numbers, invite more girls back to my place, improve my touch more, move girls around (even if it's just to walk around or do something stupid like that), and work on being flexible on improving my attainability.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

This is a report on my recent improvements.

I've been putting a lot of work into my facial expressions. I've been spending time practising new facial expressions, and I'm also putting in an effort to overall just be more facially expressive in my interactions. I was struggling with the "I know you want me" look for a long time. I wasn't sure whether I was pulling it off correctly, but now I got it down. I can't seem to figure out the sexy pouty look quite yet though. I'm going to start using bedroom eyes and seductive looks on girls a lot more often and observe their reactions. Today I used a seductive look on a girl in my class, and she started mimicking my facial expression. This is not a girl who uses a lot of facial expressions. Summer wasn't very facially expressive either, but when I would use seductive looks, she would mimic them as well. Why would they not use facial expressions when talking to me (or in general with other people) but as soon as I pull out the bedroom eyes, they copy that? I think it might be totally unconscious on their part as well as a sign of attraction. Can't wait to experiment.

One of my goals was to start touching women with my palm instead of the back of my hand during the day when I'm sober, and I have been doing that. My next goal in terms of touching is to squeeze arms. Another goal of mine is to get women to feel comfortable with touching me. Today in class I was in a group of 3 (one other guy, one other girl) working on a project. I was sitting pretty close to the girl. Lately I've been getting into close proximity with girls, I'm going to sit/stand/be as close to them as they let me. In this case, this girl was touching me a lot and seemed to be actively making opportunities for herself to touch me. At one point our legs were touching and it might have seemed like accidental touch to her, but really I just set myself up in a position that our legs were going to be touching. It's tough to explain. I noticed in the past that leg touching is a great sign. From now on I'll call this "touch flirting." Yeah, sooo..... I'm gonna try to set up vibes/moods/environments with girls that will allow them to touch me freely. Idk how I'm gonna do this.

When I'm wearing nice clothing, my hair is perfect, and my other fundamentals are solid, I feel sexy. I feel like girls are way more receptive and warm when my fundamentals are at their best. If any one of my fundamentals is off, I start feeling like girls don't even care about me. I'm not sure whether this is an illusion of my own perception or whether this is actually true in reality. Either way, I need to get in the habit of feeling sexy even when I'm not at my absolute very best.

I'd say my 90% of my tangible fundamentals are nearly, if not already, at an intermediate level. My clothing fits well and stands out, now i just need to focus on layering. I can consistently use purr in my voice, now I just need to work on making my voice deeper. My facial expressions are good, I just need to use them at appropriate times. My walk is good, all my body movements are slow. The only tangible fundamental I am lacking in is my physique (I just need to buy a pair of running shoes so I can start going to to the gym), although this isn't a big problem, I'm naturally pretty built. From now on I am going to be putting a lot of effort into eye contact. It needs to be more dominant. And I need to be more flirty with my eye contact. A weak point of mine is that I struggle with holding eye contact till the other person looks away WHEN IM ON AUTOPILOT. This needs to change.

I'm going to start working on my intangible fundamentals.

I've been getting more female attention than normal. I notice girls staring at me sometimes or trying to sneakily look at me. And I was feeling very competitive this week. I kept my social momentum from the weekend going and pushed myself to talk to more people in my class. Except midway through the week, I started getting a lot of social anxiety. I was thinking about approach anxiety. In my opinion, approach anxiety comes from operating outside of one's social comfort zone. If I'm going to continuously push myself, then I'm going to constantly have a lot of approach anxiety. Soon I will do some cold approaching, but right now I'm sick and not feeling social. I know I said I would do cold approaching in the past, but now I'm actually feeling confident that I will be well received by girls. I also realize that the only way to get better quickly is to do cold approach. I want to get better SO BAD!

Got lots of stuff to work on, and I'm realizing more than ever how important the small details are.

I'm a little bit hung up on how to advance these relationships with the girls from class though. I feel like it'd be weird if I just asked them for their number and started making moves on them. Everything I've had trouble with in the past, I thought it was weird at first.

The articles by Chase & friends on here have been great lately. For a while they were pretty dry.

One last point: a girl told me I look like Macaulay Calkin today. This is not the first time I've been told this. Not sure what to think of this.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

Some quick thoughts on my resistance towards hooking up with girls from my class:

I am afraid of being rejected and then having it be awkward between them and I. My class is pretty small and it would be impossible to avoid them. Also, I view meeting girls in a classroom as a strictly platonic thing. My prior views were that you shouldn't hook up with chicks from class. And the transition from the classroom to the bedroom would feel weird.

Those are problems in my mindset that are preventing me from moving forward. Up until last night I wasn't even planning on trying with any of these chicks I'm getting to know from my class. But then I started thinking, WHY NOT take the risk and get some experience? why not try it out and see what happens? I'm going to regret it if I don't try.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

I've been practising doing physically indirect openings. When I open a girl, I make sure I don't physically face her head on. Instead, my body is turned away from her a little bit as I open her. After some conversation, I start facing her head on. I need to pair it with the technique where I get them to look at me first, then I make eye contact with them. I am also looking forward to pairing physical and verbal direct openers. Up until now, I've mostly been using indirect physical + verbal openers.

I love building social momentum and getting into a mood where opening is just so easy! I ignore approach anxiety when I'm getting warmed up because I am so eager to build social momentum. The great feelings and fearlessness I get from opening with ease is worth the initial awkwardness and worrying.

My voice is deepening and people are noticing.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

I was lying in my bed, and doing some thinking.

I realize how inhibited I am, and I don't like it! There are so many inhibitions I have, particularly social inhibitions. They are really holding me back. I'm glad I'm conscious of these inhibitions, because that's the first step to actively working on removing them. I would just like to say that I actively hold back who I am and prevent myself from expressing myself to the world! It sounds ridiculous i know! My journal on here is probably such a boring, factual read most of the time, because I'm afraid of showing myself to the people on here. I'm afraid of getting judged. From now on I'm just gonna be my actual self.

I'm thinking that if I remove some of these inhibitions, I'll be A) able to come across as more warm and B) my conversations with women will get a lot better. I was watching Zootopia tonight, its a disney movie. The vibe of the characters and the tone of their voice was perfect in every situation. Anyways, so I've been having a lot of trouble in my conversations with women lately (all of my life?) ! They're really robotic and don't go with the flow. Like a lot of the time I don't know what to say so I just fall back to lines that I use all the time. It sounds so ridiculous when I think about it, but I just realized it tonight. I really need to just chill out and be myself, instead of being this robot who doesn't have fun. Something that goes along with that is my vocal tone. Lately I'm scared to alter my vocal tone in conversation because I think that I'll come across as gay or something. Thats ridiculous though.

Whenever I read what Drexel Scott has to say, I think "wow THIS MAN IS BRILLIANT!" he's always talking about how women don't even listen to what you have to say, they are only really focused on the vibe. I really need to work on that. and the other things he says really make me realize things about myself, like the whole robot thing.

Anyways, yeah.......I just need to be more myself if I'm gonna get anywhere with women. Vibe, conversation, and vocal tone, gonna spend probably the next 6 months working on this shit....im so determined to get better.

btw, im scaling back my skeptical look to make it more subtle.
 

fog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,028
Location
a forest
Re: backstory's frontstory

hi friends, I'm back to talk about some thoughts regarding opening

Drexel Scott mentioned somewhere on the forum that he has some sort of 4 step opener and dropped some hints as to what he does to open. He didn't tell me the full process, but after doing some digging in the website archives, i can speculate as to what he does.

1. Situate yourself where the girl will be walking towards you. This is good because you're already in her field of vision.
2. When she gets close, use a pre-opening line, like "excuse me." this is just to get her attention before you go into your actual opener. You could even say "pssst."
3. Make eye contact with her before she makes eye contact with you
4. Deliver your opening line with indirect, but positive body language (turned away from her a little bit, with a smile).

If you do all this, you're gonna come across as friendly and not intimidating.

I'm interested in how the enunciation of the pre-opening line will influence the interaction (or if it will even influence it at all). I think if one were to say "excuse me" with a bounce upwards, then that would be quite interesting and ear-catching for the girl.
 
Top