For the nice people here: what are your hard rules

Illystorm

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 15, 2020
Messages
22
https://www.girlschase.com/content/nice-people-need-hard-rules

I believe what Chase said in this article is 100% right

That being said, what are your personal Hard Rules that help you not being too much of a Nice Guy?

I suffer from the Nice Guy syndrome and am looking for help and inspiration on how to set hard rules for myself

Lots of thanks to those who will answer
 
Last edited:

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,018
If a woman flakes on me, I send out a sympathetic text about something must have come up and then I delete their number. If a man flakes on me I treat them like a woman from then on because their word is obviously worthless

Never text a woman more than twice a week unless she's enthusiastically texting me back AND consistently meeting up with me

Completely ignore everything a woman says and only pay attention to her actions. If she's being super nice, sweet and affectionate in her words but she's not meeting up with me then she's not interested. Time to delete

If a woman doesn't want to have sex with me by the end of the second date then she's not interested in me, time to move on

Try not to text between the hours of 9pm and 11am, because you're more likely to get ignored during that time

If I've asked a woman out twice and she's not gone out with me, time to delete and move on

If a woman seems like she's got her walls up with me then she's probably not interested or comes with too much baggage (I've gotten EXTREMELY good at making people feel comfortable enough around me to spill their secrets rather quickly, so if I can't get someone to lower their walls then it's probably never going to happen without a colossal amount of effort that I don't want to put in)

If she says she's worth it then she's not; follow the rule of show, don't tell

Follow the rule of "show, don't tell"
--> actions speak louder than words. If you have to say it then it's not true

Anyone who says "a real man..." gets completely ignored

Simps are disgusting and are treated like lower class human beings. Because they're dangerous white knights who are fucking retarded. I hate them almost as much as I hate politicians, lawyers, cops, judges and basically anyone that works within the government or the 'just-us'/justice system. Not to be trusted

Follow the Rapport Continuum (giving the same amount of openness in body language as the other person gives to you). If they're giving you their shoulder then you do the same. If someone is giving you their chest then you are free to do the same

If someone has a big mouth and gossips a lot then they're not to be trusted. If they'll gossip with you then they'll gossip about you. They are, however, extremely entertaining to be around as long as you don't give them anything of value about yourself

Anyone who showboats or talks about all the success they have with blank, doesn't have said success --> show, don't tell
1) makes me think of a bouncer who had extreme one-itis for a stripper who constantly cheated on him. All he talked about was how he'd been with women all over the world and had been with over 400 women. Mhmm... sure you have bud
2) also makes me think about someone else I know of that only cares about their image when behind closed doors they're very different than they let on

ALWAYS pay attention to what people care about. It will tell you volumes about that person as a whole. Do they care about a subject? Do they care about people? Do they care about their image? Always ask yourself why that is, and you'll learn a lot about them as a person



________

This is all I can think of right now, but I think that's a good little list
 

HumanWhoLearns

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 25, 2019
Messages
97
I used to be a "nice guy" and in some ways I still am. I would think if you're on this website and asking this question, you're going to naturally start to shift away from your "nice" behavior that was instilled in you. The first step for me was to stop trying to please everybody and start expressing myself more - which is hard if you have negative operant conditioning around that. Then I realized that other people's opinions that I was worried about so much didn't really matter at all, especially if they were not involved in my life, like most of them weren't. I saw that people were frequently wrong about me and I stopped being so effected by their emotions.

Along the way I had an experience where I helped somebody out and they sort of took advantage of me (mostly me being a nice guy) and that was really a wake-up call. That taught me the importance of setting boundaries, even though I've read and listened to that advice before. Funny how life teaches these little lessons.
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,714
Location
Scandinavia - For Now
The only hard rule that applies to pick up is that there are no hard rules aside from consent. If there is consent you can do whatever.

Best,
Teevster
 

Illystorm

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 15, 2020
Messages
22
The only hard rule that applies to pick up is that there are no hard rules aside from consent. If there is consent you can do whatever.

Best,
Teevster

I meant rules for life actually, not just for pickup
 

Warped Mindless

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
393
The rules I have are more for myself than other people.

my main rules are as follows:

Only spend time around those whom I respect and whom respect me.

The majority of my time should be spent working towards my own personal goals.

Lift heavy shit

Eat healthy.

Take responsibility for everything, good or bad, that happens to me.

Always be learning. Always.

Respect time for it is the most important of resources.

Find solutions, never make excuses. I’m not allowed to say “I can’t” or “it’s impossible”

Trying to make rules for others is just going to lead to unhappiness. Make rules for yourself that you have to follow. When you become a man of purpose, drive, and discipline you will naturally have boundaries and people in your life worth having will not be quick to overstep them.
 

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
983
Location
South America
Women:
- 3 dates and no sex? Next
- 2 texts not answered? Next.
- Women who really want you show up. Focus on them.
- Women who are messing around don't show up. Ignore them.
- Always circle back to the girls you have fucked before (if you think they are worth it). If they have spent quality time with you, and the sex was good, they will always come back in the future (field tested countless times).
- Always fuck women like you love them, even if you are just horny.
- Treat them with kindness and respect, but set your boundaries as fast as you can.
- Never enter any relationship without knowing your goals with her.
- Never enter a serious relationship without showing what you are really about.
- Be honest and not afraid to tell your hard truths. It's better to upset her and gain her respect than to lie to avoid pain.

Social:
- Always keep a calm demeanor, even when everything is going to shit.
- Avoid getting triggered as much as you can.
- When you become a leader, lesser people will constantly test you. Be ok with it.
- Avoid showing off, unless the situation requires. Giant men always lead by example.
- Never assume to yourself other peoples problems. Smaller people are afraid to take ownership and just looking for an excuse to push their shit onto better people.
- Learn to say no with kindness.
- Learn to say yes with vigor.
- If you are at fault, say "I'm sorry" as fast as you can. Don't let it dwell a second more than it needs to.

Life and goals
- Smaller actions taken with serious commitment and long term focus trump big jumps all day.
- If it scares you, it's probably worth doing.
- Take ownership of everything related to your life, even if it seems it's not your fault. This will turn you into a better man in the long run.
- Fitness is a job. Learn to love it.
- Healthy eating is a job. Learn to love it.
- Work on shit you love. Liking your work is not enough.
- Birds of feather flock together. So choose to fly with the Top Gun jets.
 
Last edited:

apone

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Nov 13, 2022
Messages
3
-3 strikes and your out. Goes for guys or girls. Sometimes people can use up all 3 strikes at once.
-Never double text a girl. Be prepared to walk if she doesn't respond the first time.
-Don't invest too much in people before they invest in you. Time/energy/favors given too freely become devalued.
-Asking for pity/sympathy is a major red flag and makes me put major boundaries up. This behavior is usually a manipulation tactic.
 
Top
>