FR  Fun Night

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
Had a pretty good night tonight. Approached a few girls and made some new friends. I approached this one chick that was hovering around me and she wasn’t interested lol. Then I had a girl open me and feel all over my body, wasn’t really attracted to her at all, but she made the night better. Then I tried to approach this one girl that was walking ahead of me, I tapped her, but she kept walking, probably thought I was just bumping into her.

Later on I see this guy with his girl looking at me and biting her lips. Didn’t approach because that was clearly his girl, she was all over him, but he couldn’t see her looking at me.

Then to make the night full circle, the chick that wasn’t interested earlier in the night ended up showing interest at the end, buuuut, I get cocked blocked by her guy friend. He just grabs her and starts dancing with her, I’m like dude!! Really!?

This club has a majority of girls that dances with their girls not looking for any guys, girls with bfs, girls that don’t wanna be there, and men that outnumber the women by a lot.

So yeah, the club ratios suck, but the club itself is very nice.

Hope to have more good nights at this place.

All in all, it was a pretty good night.
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
@Sub-Zero

Continuing from your other thread on how often to go out:

Now I could be reading too much into this, but compared to what I would do when I was (re-)learning pickup (20 years ago), you have a serious lack of focus.

What was the goal for the night? What was the purpose of going out?

If your goal was to go out and have fun, congratulations you achieved it. But I suspect that you didn't set a goal and tried to just "see how things go".

You will not succeed with anything without discipline and focus otherwise you leave everything to chance and pure luck.

For example when I was learning I would never have a goal of going out to "have fun" or "see how things go". A goal for me would be for example:
  1. I want to create sexual tension with a girl before opening her
  2. I want to put my hand on her waist and seduce her with eye contact without saying anything
  3. I want to give a girl a certain look so that she would approach and open me
  4. I want to get 2 girls to compete for me before approaching or have them approach me
  5. I want to meet a girl and turn her into my wing-woman for the night so we could have a threesome with another girl, worst case take her home
  6. etc
Unless you set goals and focus, you have nothing to aim for nor measure your progress. You can start with small, simple goals and then make them more advanced.
 

Chrance

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 3, 2020
Messages
330
Location
Your Dreams
@Sub-Zero

Continuing from your other thread on how often to go out:

Now I could be reading too much into this, but compared to what I would do when I was (re-)learning pickup (20 years ago), you have a serious lack of focus.

What was the goal for the night? What was the purpose of going out?

If your goal was to go out and have fun, congratulations you achieved it. But I suspect that you didn't set a goal and tried to just "see how things go".

You will not succeed with anything without discipline and focus otherwise you leave everything to chance and pure luck.

For example when I was learning I would never have a goal of going out to "have fun" or "see how things go". A goal for me would be for example:
  1. I want to create sexual tension with a girl before opening her
  2. I want to put my hand on her waist and seduce her with eye contact without saying anything
  3. I want to give a girl a certain look so that she would approach and open me
  4. I want to get 2 girls to compete for me before approaching or have them approach me
  5. I want to meet a girl and turn her into my wing-woman for the night so we could have a threesome with another girl, worst case take her home
  6. etc
Unless you set goals and focus, you have nothing to aim for nor measure your progress. You can start with small, simple goals and then make them more advanced.

How do you mix your PU goals with your desire to get laid? Do you ever say “tonight, my goal is to bang a girl.” Or is that something you avoid dwelling on?
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
@Sub-Zero

Continuing from your other thread on how often to go out:

Now I could be reading too much into this, but compared to what I would do when I was (re-)learning pickup (20 years ago), you have a serious lack of focus.

What was the goal for the night? What was the purpose of going out?

If your goal was to go out and have fun, congratulations you achieved it. But I suspect that you didn't set a goal and tried to just "see how things go".

You will not succeed with anything without discipline and focus otherwise you leave everything to chance and pure luck.

For example when I was learning I would never have a goal of going out to "have fun" or "see how things go". A goal for me would be for example:
  1. I want to create sexual tension with a girl before opening her
  2. I want to put my hand on her waist and seduce her with eye contact without saying anything
  3. I want to give a girl a certain look so that she would approach and open me
  4. I want to get 2 girls to compete for me before approaching or have them approach me
  5. I want to meet a girl and turn her into my wing-woman for the night so we could have a threesome with another girl, worst case take her home
  6. etc
Unless you set goals and focus, you have nothing to aim for nor measure your progress. You can start with small, simple goals and then make them more advanced.
Lmao my first goal was to go out in the first place, my second goal was to approach women, get numbers and sleep with them.

So yes, I did have goals, and I said that I had a fun night because I achieved most of my goals and I indeed had a good fun night.

My bad for saying I had a good fun night lmfao.

Anyway, isn’t the end goal to get results? I’m trying to get a number or hang with them after the club. Pretty focused goals if you ask me.

I’ll try stuff from your list of goals, but isn’t the end goal to get a number or get laid, that’s my focus going out. I can do the stuff you listed as goals, but I still need to ask her out, which is my whole focus, I’m not trying techniques or anything; I’m straight approaching trying to get a good result.

With your list of goals, could you give an example of how I could do each of them?
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
A serious businessman doesn't say to himself: "our business needs to make more money"

He says something like: "We need to improve our marketing outreach and automate it as well reduce operational costs by 10%"

"Tonight, my goal is to bang a girl" is not a goal, it is wishful thinking. Wishful thinking doesn't get you anywhere.

Pickup is hard, it's difficult, I would say that less than 1% of those who try actually become good at this. It is the same as building a profitable, sustainable business (less than 1% succeed over the long run >10 years)

To become hugely successful with anything, you have to be willing to do things at a level that 99% of people can't, are unable to or don't want to do. So if you don't have any specific goal for the night, that you didn't analyze what you did wrong the last time you went out nor what you need to improve on.

This may sound harsh, but it is the truth:

If you're not willing to put more dedication, time, effort and a serious improvement plan to succeed at PU than the failing 99% then you're just wasting your time and better off doing something else.
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
576
Sub-Zero, you realize that this guy has 20 years of experience or so in the PU community?

You are very fortunate to get his feedback. Please behave accordingly.
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
Dude I just asked if you could give me an example of the goals you wrote down and how I could do them.

I didn’t make a field report to get nit-picked at.

I don’t do field reports at all when I go out and was told I should do it no matter what.

The only reason I made the field report was because others thought I wasn’t going out or anything, so I told them I’ll make a few field reports.

Now you come on here nit-picking everything I do, you don’t like what I did, fine, I took your suggestion and asked how can I make the goals you wrote down achievable? What other goals do you recommend?

You see I’m trying to take your advice and ask for more advice? But you seem to have ignored that and tried to talk down on me even more.

It’s crazy and hilarious at the same time; I don’t make field reports and I hear, “you should make field reports, you have to make them” so I make one and then it’s “you’re not doing it right and you lack focus, you didn’t do this, you didn’t do that, if you’re not going to do this a certain way don’t even waste your time going out, etc.”

Like dude relax this is the first field report I made in a while, I even asked you to breakdown the goals you wrote down, but you nit-picked once again.

Dude, I never had any type of interaction with you before and this is how you starting off?

I didn’t even have people that I have known on here from the boards for years nit-pick on me like this.

All I can say is you can have your opinion and I’ll take your advice, but I don’t need the nit-picking stuff, like I did something wrong by going out.

I’m just happy I had a good night WTF dude.

Wow, my response was to Chrance, not you.

He asked:

"How do you mix your PU goals with your desire to get laid? Do you ever say “tonight, my goal is to bang a girl.” Or is that something you avoid dwelling on?"

If you want examples, I have tons of reports in my mASF archive.
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
Wow, my response was to Chrance, not you.

He asked:

"How do you mix your PU goals with your desire to get laid? Do you ever say “tonight, my goal is to bang a girl.” Or is that something you avoid dwelling on?"

If you want examples, I have tons of reports in my mASF archive.
Ok my bad man.
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
Sub-Zero, you realize that this guy has 20 years of experience or so in the PU community?

You are very fortunate to get his feedback. Please behave accordingly.
I’m not doubting his experience or ignoring his advice. What I just said I thought he said to me, it was a mistake.

I thought he was telling me everything I was doing was wrong, I was just letting him know I would take his advice and he can have his opinion, but I thought he was nit-picking, but didn’t realize he wasn’t talking to me, my bad.

We all make mistakes, but I did say that I was willing to take his advice.

What do you mean behave accordingly? I didn’t call him out by name, brush off his advice, or talk down on him, I just mistook what he said and explained how I felt.

I don’t come on here to start shit with anyone.
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
576
I’m not doubting his experience or ignoring his advice. What I just said I thought he said to me, it was a mistake.

I thought he was telling me everything I was doing was wrong, I was just letting him know I would take his advice and he can have his opinion, but I thought he was nit-picking, but didn’t realize he wasn’t talking to me, my bad.

We all make mistakes, but I did say that I was willing to take his advice.

What do you mean behave accordingly? I didn’t call him out by name, brush off his advice, or talk down on him, I just mistook what he said and explained how I felt.

I don’t come on here to start shit with anyone.

Well you did to some extent brush off his advice about non-specific goals in post #4.

I agree with RJ, I also think you would benefit from having a more specific agenda for your outings. And write more specific reports. The goal of field reports is to get out information about what works and what you must improve, the more specific your reports are, the more both you and others will benefit from them.
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
Ok my bad man.

No worries, it's cool. It's just an internet forum, there's no ego here man.

Here is my point:

Anyway, isn’t the end goal to get results? I’m trying to get a number or hang with them after the club. Pretty focused goals if you ask me.

No, those aren't goals, those are wanted results. You have no control over results, you only have control over your own actions (goals). You run a perfect seduction game and still not pull ass or get a number due to logistics, her being on her period etc

A professional golfer, his goal would be to make a target focused swing / stroke / putt every time, whether the ball goes in the hole or not is a result of his focus combined with a bit of luck. The professional golfer knows that not every shot will go where he wants it to, but focusing on making a target focused swing / stroke / putt each and every time will improve the chances of the ball ending up where he wants.

In PU, my goal was to always improve on what I did wrong last time or where I though I needed to improve. After a certain point in my learning journey, it was to always put myself in a position to pull ass that night, now whether I actually succeeded or not was dependent on logistics, her not being on her period, luck etc. But I knew that by putting myself into a position to score every night improved the chances of me actually doing it that night.
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
Well you did to some extent brush off his advice about non-specific goals in post #4.

I agree with RJ, I also think you would benefit from having a more specific agenda for your outings. And write more specific reports. The goal of field reports is to get out information about what works and what you must improve, the more specific your reports are, the more both you and others will benefit from them.
Getting laid or a number, even approaching women isn’t a specific goal? Should this be put in the journal thread then?

So if I wrote what I could have improved on, that’s a field report? Or if someone says a certain thing and I report back how it worked?
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
No worries, it's cool. It's just an internet forum, there's no ego here man.

Here is my point:



No, those aren't goals, those are wanted results. You have no control over results, you only have control over your own actions (goals). You run a perfect seduction game and still not pull ass or get a number due to logistics, her being on her period etc

A professional golfer, his goal would be to make a target focused swing / stroke / putt every time, whether the ball goes in the hole or not is a result of his focus combined with a bit of luck. The professional golfer knows that not every shot will go where he wants it to, but focusing on making a target focused swing / stroke / putt each and every time will improve the chances of the ball ending up where he wants.

In PU, my goal was to always improve on what I did wrong last time or where I though I needed to improve. After a certain point in my learning journey, it was to always put myself in a position to pull ass that night, now whether I actually succeeded or not was dependent on logistics, her not being on her period, luck etc. But I knew that by putting myself into a position to score every night improved the chances of me actually doing it that night.
I get what you’re saying. And it is very true that you don’t have control over if you get laid or not and that you should focus on actions that you know you have control over.

I mean I do have those goals in mind as well, like I try to approach a certain amount of attractive women, be social, etc.

Would approaching more women be a goal?

I know there’s goals like this:

1. Be social
2. Talk to a girl
3. Move her
4. Deep dive
5. Ask her out
6. Try to hang with her after if possible or get her number

I can’t think of anything else besides approach more women a night and see if they’ll be down to see you later or not.

I’m in the numbers game mentality now. I’m just approaching to see if I can get one that is down for me.

Thanks for the advice, and my bad once again.
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
576
Getting laid or a number, even approaching women isn’t a specific goal? Should this be put in the journal thread then?

So if I wrote what I could have improved on, that’s a field report? Or if someone says a certain thing and I report back how it worked?

Does any of this really matter?

Ask yourself the question, is your report written in a way that makes it easy for people to 1) LEARN what you are doing correctly and 2) ADVISE you on how to progress further towards even better results?

I would say no.

Post the routines/verbals/techniques you used in various sets and the outcome of those interactions instead..
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
Does any of this really matter?

Ask yourself the question, is your report written in a way that makes it easy for people to 1) LEARN what you are doing correctly and 2) ADVISE you on how to progress further towards even better results?

I would say no.

Post the routines/verbals/techniques you used in various sets and the outcome of those interactions instead..
Got you
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
No worries, it's cool. It's just an internet forum, there's no ego here man.

Here is my point:



No, those aren't goals, those are wanted results. You have no control over results, you only have control over your own actions (goals). You run a perfect seduction game and still not pull ass or get a number due to logistics, her being on her period etc

A professional golfer, his goal would be to make a target focused swing / stroke / putt every time, whether the ball goes in the hole or not is a result of his focus combined with a bit of luck. The professional golfer knows that not every shot will go where he wants it to, but focusing on making a target focused swing / stroke / putt each and every time will improve the chances of the ball ending up where he wants.

In PU, my goal was to always improve on what I did wrong last time or where I though I needed to improve. After a certain point in my learning journey, it was to always put myself in a position to pull ass that night, now whether I actually succeeded or not was dependent on logistics, her not being on her period, luck etc. But I knew that by putting myself into a position to score every night improved the chances of me actually doing it that night.

This is a true story. I once played in a professional golf tournament, just for fun from my side, but the guys I was playing against did it for a living. Winning determined whether they would have enough money to play in the next tournament or if they would need to call it quits for the season, find a job save up enough money and try again next season.

One of the guys I played with was ranked #2 on the tour. On one hole, he hits his ball towards the flag, it takes a bad bounce and ends up in one of the worst spots you could be in, ends up making double bogey taking him out of contention. This didn't bother him one bit.

Next hole, remember he is already out of contention, hits what looks like a perfect shot down the middle and he is yelling at himself. I later asked him, what was wrong with that shot, it ended up fine.

He said: he wasn't mentally focused where he needed to be and it was pure luck on that shot.

I then asked him about that bad bounce where ended up with a double bogey and lost the tournament. He said he was focused mentally and that he did everything right, just bad luck on the bounce.

Moral of the story: This guy knows that the difference between success and failure is about maintaining focus on the things you can control, not the result you end up with. His goal was to stay mentally focused when he needed to, if he did that it was a success. Where the ball ended up he had no control over and was never his goal.
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
576
@Razorjack this is very interesting. I can relate, if I go out and run good game but no girl follows me home due to logistics or similar, that is actually a rather good feeling of mastery, however I do feel shitty if I 1) screw up due to lack of effort or focus or 2) actually get laid but after having gone for sub-par results in some way.

@Teevster also noted that our thinking is similar to professional gamers of Warcraft and similar games - they do NOT freak out in-field even when major losses occur and keep fighting to the bitter end.
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
This is a true story. I once played in a professional golf tournament, just for fun from my side, but the guys I was playing against did it for a living. Winning determined whether they would have enough money to play in the next tournament or if they would need to call it quits for the season, find a job save up enough money and try again next season.

One of the guys I played with was ranked #2 on the tour. On one hole, he hits his ball towards the flag, it takes a bad bounce and ends up in one of the worst spots you could be in, ends up making double bogey taking him out of contention. This didn't bother him one bit.

Next hole, remember he is already out of contention, hits what looks like a perfect shot down the middle and he is yelling at himself. I later asked him, what was wrong with that shot, it ended up fine.

He said: he wasn't mentally focused where he needed to be and it was pure luck on that shot.

I then asked him about that bad bounce where ended up with a double bogey and lost the tournament. He said he was focused mentally and that he did everything right, just bad luck on the bounce.

Moral of the story: This guy knows that the difference between success and failure is about maintaining focus on the things you can control, not the result you end up with. His goal was to stay mentally focused when he needed to, if he did that it was a success. Where the ball ended up he had no control over and was never his goal.

I’ll try this way of thinking.
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
@Razorjack this is very interesting. I can relate, if I go out and run good game but no girl follows me home due to logistics or similar, that is actually a rather good feeling of mastery, however I do feel shitty if I 1) screw up due to lack of effort or focus or 2) actually get laid but after having gone for sub-par results in some way.

@Teevster also noted that our thinking is similar to professional gamers of Warcraft and similar games - they do NOT freak out in-field even when major losses occur and keep fighting to the bitter end.

The most interesting thing I've noticed is that people who usually succeed at one thing can succeed with other things as they understand what it takes to succeed and carry that discipline over to another field. So what you've learned in terms of discipline and focus in running PU game can be carried over to anything else you want, like business, sports etc.

For me, I worked my butt off to become a professional musician (guitar player) in my teens and early 20s and that carried over to learning PU in my early 30s and which carried over to business in my late 30s, early 40s. Not to brag, but I think I would be considered successful in these fields by most people's standards.
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
I’ll try this way of thinking.

One final piece of advice.

Again, it may sound harsh, but I'm trying to give you the brutal honest truth:

If you want to succeed with anything, don't "try", either make the commitment to do whatever it takes to succeed or find something else that you're passionate about and put your efforts there.

Compare these 2 statements:
  1. "I'm going to try to lose weight and get into shape this year"
  2. "I've hired a personal trainer, a nutritionist and booked a physical check up with my doctor for his/her assessment of my weight loss program. I'm going to cut my calorie intake by 30%, cutback on carbs to 30g a day and increase protein."
Which one sounds more serious? Which one sounds like he/she will succeed?

Our time on this planet is short, please don't waste it on "trying", figure out what it is you truly desire (whether it is PU or something else) and then go out there do whatever it takes to actually achieve it.
 
Top
>