Getting Girls to "Hook"

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,955
One of the biggest things you'll run into starting out is getting girls to the hook point, where they hook into the conversation and start contributing and really want it to go on. You'll go through a lot of conversations that frustrate the heck out of you because they don't go anywhere before you start figuring out how to get this one regularly.

Reaching the hook point is dependent on two things, primarily:

  • Her attraction to you
  • Her mood

Obviously, fundamentals help you out a good bit here; the more attractive you come across when first meeting her, the warmer she'll be, and the faster she'll hook. The main things that help you hook faster are:

  • Being attractive (solid fundamentals)
  • Good banter in repartee (unless she's already super warm)
  • Acting a bit aloof if she doesn't hook right away

Being attractive is everything from your hairstyle, to your fashion, to your physique, to your eye contact, to your facial hair, to your posture, to your smile and facial expressions, to your movements, to your walk, to your voice tone, to your approach and how you open and interact and touch her or don't.

Good banter is picking out something quickly and easily, some observation that HASN'T been noticed by every single guy to talk to her all day (e.g., she isn't wearing a coat - You: "Aren't you cold?" => not good banter, because everyone and his brother has already asked her this; she isn't wearing a coat - You: "How's the weather in the Arctic Circle these days?" Her: "What do you mean?" You: "Oh, I just figured based on your attire you clearly hailed from somewhere up north." => good banter).

Acting aloof is things like calmly and disinterestedly turning your head away as if you're bored if she isn't very responsive on your initial approach, and waiting a moment to see if she'll reengage you.

Mood is the other one you'll run into a lot; mood is mainly determined by:

  • What's happening in her life right now in general
  • What's happening in her life in that moment specifically
  • Whether she has obligations or concerns to mind

What's happening in her life is things like she just got a promotion, just got accepted into a degree program she really wants to attend, just broke up with her boyfriend, just found out her boyfriend is cheating on her, just heard that her mom has breast cancer, just realized she wants to be a trapeze artist, etc. There are things happening to her that you do not know and may well never know, and all these will have varied effects on her mood.

What's happening in that moment is things like her friend just ditched her, she just realized she's out of money, someone just paid her a really nice compliment, she just bought something on sale that she really likes, she just finished a great meal and is feeling a bit of a food coma coming on, she just had sex, she hasn't had sex in a long time and is feeling horny, etc.

Whether she has obligations or concerns is things like she's in a hurry to get somewhere, she has to keep an eye on her drunk friend, she's worried that her boyfriend's friend over there is going to tell him about her going home with you, she wants to make her boyfriend / ex-boyfriend angry by flirting with you or hooking up with you, her friends have been pushing her to be more open about men and she wants to show them she is, etc.

Mood you have much less control over than attraction. You can influence it a little bit - if, say, she isn't in a very social mood, sometimes simply by approaching, disengaging for a moment and being aloof, and then reengaging, you can give her mood time to reset to something more conducive to the two of you having a conversation together. But not always.

Mood ends up being the biggest one you've got to look out for. Attraction is secondary. If she isn't all that attracted to you but she's in a good mood, you can get her following you, complying with you, and doing things with you. Even if she's attracted to you, if she isn't in a good mood you'll have a tough time changing that unless she gives you enough time to work with her and you're good enough at influencing women's emotions that you can help her change her mood.

What's the best mood to look for when you're out meeting women?

If you said "excited"... you'd be wrong. Rather, it's calm, normal, and content. That's when you know she's in control, she isn't worried about anything, but she isn't going crazy in a totally unmanageable emotional state either that's going to see her bouncing from man to man like some crazed wild thing, or off to whatever next engagement she has during the daytime.

So, if you want to hook more:

  • Upgrade your fundamentals
  • Get your banter down cold
  • Get good at acting disinterested / aloof for a few seconds after a mediocre opening performance to try and impel her to take action and keep your interest
  • Keep an eye out for what moods women seem to be in and target your approaches to the most suitable-looking girls

Chase
 

Flames

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
430
Location
England, UK
I have a question about this in that I seem to be either hooking girls like crazy, or I'm misreading them being hooked, but you mean essentially when they're showing investment right?

Also it seems to be happening a way lot easier than before, as if making very little effort is actually making them hook easier, does that sound right?

I think possibly I went through a stage when I got girls checking me out a lot and I thought it was a chance to move, maybe too early and now I've got used to it I'm not biting quite so quickly, and so theyre making more of an effort.

Thoughts?
 

Light

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 7, 2012
Messages
427
Location
United Kingdom
Hi Flames,

The hooking point that Chase is talking about is when the girl you're talking to is totally into it (showing investment correct).
The hooking point is when you know that shes no longer paying attention to her surrounding or where she is at, but is solely focused on YOU.
She is smiling more, you are building rapport with her, and getting to know her from her telling about herself.
This is when you should take her phone number, and move her.


Light
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,955
Howdy Flames,

Light already covered the rest; here's my comment on this part of your question:

Flames said:
Also it seems to be happening a way lot easier than before, as if making very little effort is actually making them hook easier, does that sound right?

Yes, absolutely. The more a guy pursues a woman, the less invested she is, and the more she's forced to flee, getting further and further from the hook point. And the more he's able to attract her while not investing much, or anything, the more she's forced to pursue if she's interested, and the more hooked she becomes.

So, as you reduce the effort you put in while still focused on getting results, hooking tends to become easier and easier.

Cheers,
Chase
 
Top