Girl that acted interested is acting superior/uninterested ones I've spoken her

[razir110]

Hi everyone!

So there is is this girl that studies with me, we were exchanging stares for like a month and I never saw her alone to say hi. So last week I finally did, we spoke a for a few minutes and left. Before we spoke she was like always staring at me when we crossed, she would "inadvertently" touch me when she passed next to me, etc so loads of signs of "please say hi"

I clearly noticed that she knows she is hot, she gets a lot of attention from men and she knows she can do whatever she want with men.

Well since we spoke the first time I didn't see her ever since until today, so like 10 days later. She was outside with a friend (girl) so I went to say hi and spoke a bit with them but mostly with the friend. I kinda ignored her for most time and a few minutes later her friends arrived, I introduced to everyone and started talking to another friend of her. So she drifted away with her group and d«stand next to two of us (me and the other friend of her) talking in a pretty closed circle with the rest of the group. Then she left with the group and didn't say goodbye, well I didn't even look at her while she was leaving.

So this is the situation, she acted very interested and now she is like "superior" How should go here? I think I should just do what she does and don't try to get her attention. It would be chasing.

At the same time I don't want this to die because if I just stop talking to her when I see her (which doesn't happen very often already) the attraction if such exists will pass.

So is my only chance here to say her a dry "hi" when I see her? Or should I just shoot the next time I see her and ask her out?

Cheers!

 

[razir110]

Re: Girl that acted interested is acting superior/uninterested ones I've spoken

Hey guys sorry for bumping this but I'd really need your opinion on this case.

Tanks!

 

[Hue]

Re: Girl that acted interested is acting superior/uninterested ones I've spoken

Well since we spoke the first time I didn't see her ever since until today, so like 10 days later. She was outside with a friend (girl) so I went to say hi and spoke a bit with them but mostly with the friend. I kinda ignored her for most time and a few minutes later her friends arrived, I introduced to everyone and started talking to another friend of her. So she drifted away with her group and d«stand next to two of us (me and the other friend of her) talking in a pretty closed circle with the rest of the group. Then she left with the group and didn't say goodbye, well I didn't even look at her while she was leaving.

So this is the situation, she acted very interested and now she is like "superior" How should go here? I think I should just do what she does and don't try to get her attention. It would be chasing.

Hard to say exactly what went on there, but perhaps she saw you not giving her, the girl you're actually interested in, much attention and giving her friends more of the attention - and rather than let that go on she drifted to a safer place for her --> her other friend group.

As in, you kinda ignored her so she's kinda ignoring you (went to a different circle and didn't say goodbye). It's a defense mechanism for attainability.

How do you perceive her as acting superior?

 

[razir110]

Re: Girl that acted interested is acting superior/uninterested ones I've spoken

Hi Hue,

Thank you for your reply.

By superior I mean she is acting like she is ignoring me essentially so perhaps I misused the word here. And about the situation I described, you are right, that's how I feel about it too, she left to her group to sort of safely retreat from the scenario when she was being ignored by me.

I did it because of her general attitude that she is the center of attention, I think this sort of stuff (a bit of ignoring her, so a reality check) works well with these kind of girls. Btw the same day later on, I was going outside of the school for a coffee and the moment when i was leaving the building she and her friend came in, we have one of those revolving doors so they were like "on the other side" of the door and didn't look at me, however I am 100% sure she saw me (we were 1 meter from each other). So again an ignore there (after the situation I described when I spoke to her friend etc) Im pretty sure they saw me coming from the outside and went straight in to avoid me approaching them again (which I wouldn't btw, two approaches the same day is too much) I didn't look at them either, I just followed my way.

I always had this issue when a girl starts to ignore me after giving me signs of interest. Like on one hand I have to move fast, but on the other wouldn't I become weak and needy from her perspective?

The dilemma here is to talk to a girl that is now not giving you signs of attention and becoming a chaser VS just not giving a f and asking her out the next time I see her. My doubt is how will I be perceived? As a confident guy or as a weak chaser?

Is waiting game ever worth playing? Or should I always just move ahead despite all these mixed signs from her? (I read the article on Mixed Signs and it says I should go forward anyway)

The issues is that I din't get the chance of seing her that often, we cross maybe ones a week, so I can't be ignoring her now forever because of the attraction expiry date.

Extra info: I heard from several people that she is "slutty" Honestly I hate these labels, she fucks whoever she wants, but perhaps it tells me that she likes guys that move fast and confidently on her? She also has Single in her FB. Should I plug in some sort of topic next time we speak that I don't like labels and I am very liberal on sex for ex.? What would you say on this?

 

[Hue]

Re: Girl that acted interested is acting superior/uninterested ones I've spoken

Ash does a good job explaining some concepts you'll need to have a decent grasp on to understand the dynamics going on here in your other post.

I did it because of her general attitude that she is the center of attention, I think this sort of stuff (a bit of ignoring her, so a reality check) works well with these kind of girls. Btw the same day later on, I was going outside of the school for a coffee and the moment when i was leaving the building she and her friend came in, we have one of those revolving doors so they were like "on the other side" of the door and didn't look at me, however I am 100% sure she saw me (we were 1 meter from each other). So again an ignore there (after the situation I described when I spoke to her friend etc) Im pretty sure they saw me coming from the outside and went straight in to avoid me approaching them again (which I wouldn't btw, two approaches the same day is too much) I didn't look at them either, I just followed my way.

I always had this issue when a girl starts to ignore me after giving me signs of interest. Like on one hand I have to move fast, but on the other wouldn't I become weak and needy from her perspective?

The dilemma here is to talk to a girl that is now not giving you signs of attention and becoming a chaser VS just not giving a f and asking her out the next time I see her. My doubt is how will I be perceived? As a confident guy or as a weak chaser?

I would try and ignore it for the most part.

She wants to make it look like you don't even register on her radar because your attainability is too low. You might have made her feel like she didn't really register on your radar during the interaction you talk about in the OP. So, when there's something small like passing eachother through a set of doors where she doesn't necessarily have to acknowledge you, she doesn't. It's to protect her ego and possibly make you feel like "oh, why is she ignoring me?".

The thing with attainability and value is that there's a balance to some degree. Generally speaking, it could look like..

Low attainability + High Value

--> He's out of my league
--> He's great, but doesn't give a fuck about me

High attainability + Low Value

--> I can have this guy anytime I want
--> This guy is chasing me, he really wants me, I'm gonna keep him here because this fuels my ego

Moderate-High attainability + High Value

--> Wow, this guy is awesome and he seems to like me? Yes, please.
--> At first I thought this guy was a douche, but now I'm seeing his other, warmer side He must not hand kindness out to everyone, and probably likes me.



Aim for the sweet spot.



As to how to do that, is much harder to explain, but I highly recommend studying how to persist without chasing and using qualifying (sincere compliments) to raise your attainability.

Is waiting game ever worth playing? Or should I always just move ahead despite all these mixed signs from her? (I read the article on Mixed Signs and it says I should go forward anyway)

Yes, the waiting game is usually worth playing if you're interested in the girl. While doing so, try to preoccupy yourself on different things as to not cloud your mind with shit that doesn't benefit you. Generally speaking, get your game plan and stick to it.

Extra info: I heard from several people that she is "slutty" Honestly I hate these labels, she fucks whoever she wants, but perhaps it tells me that she likes guys that move fast and confidently on her? She also has Single in her FB. Should I plug in some sort of topic next time we speak that I don't like labels and I am very liberal on sex for ex.? What would you say on this?

See, by raising your attainability properly (not chasing), this solves itself. If she happens to be familiar with being called a slut (which, a lot of times the girl isn't actually a slut and it's just shit-talk), she'll be desiring a guy that actually seems to care about her. The topic doesn't necessarily need to be brought up, but if you're familiar with Alek's writing on how to display sexual open-mindedness, weaving this into conversation can be a powerful way to do that.


All of this shit takes practice. You may fail, you may succeed, but always try muthafucka (;