Going for women that arouse you versus women that actually want you.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

If it was a black and white question it would be a lot easier to answer but I want to lay out more of a scenario on a bigger scale and get your thoughts on it.

We will say you are a guy who likes good looking Latinas, something about them just gets you aroused and makes your dick hard. You love that exotic sexy look that they have and would probably cum buckets to a naked one in your room right now. If you had it your way, you'd fuck latinas for the rest of your life and be a happy guy.

But here's the twist, you don't have any exotic value or additional value to latinas based on your background and the way you look. In most Spanish speaking countries someone with your appearance would be considered the lowest of the low and at best, just another guy if you are lucky. They prefer more of a blond haired Chad or blue eyed prince, your look is the last look they would prefer.

In fact for you to do well with hot latin girls on the regular, you would have to compensate in big ways with money, status, and other means yet have to live with the feeling that deep down inside if any of those go away these women will drop you. The reason being about 80 to 90% of women from that background are programmed to see men of certain backgrounds and looks as the best and anyone who is darker as a lesser person or just not as exceptional.

Then on the other hand, blondes and pale women absolutely love you. If you were to go to Denmark or Sweden right now, you'd be getting gamed by women and have women giving you some strong IOIs, some of these women beautiful. On the flip side a blonde just does not do it for you like a Salma Hayek lookalike would, the arousal is not there to same degree.

So this leaves you with two situations.

1. Go for women that arouse you but deal with the fact that she has been culturally programmed to see men of your background as inferior and you will likely need to overcompensate in big ways to get her.

2. Go for women that have been programmed to love men of your appearance and will pour their heart out to you but deep down inside, know that you are not sexually fulfilled.

Which do you take?

 

[JacobPalmer]

Interesting post Oh Pry. I know exactly what you're talking about. For me, I always seem to attract Asian women relatively easily, whereas I have to put much more work/effort/game into white girls (which are the ones I want).

Given these two scenarios you've posed, and only picking one, I'd still go for the ones that are harder to get but more satisfying to me. Because in the long run, the probability of getting absolutely 0 of the ones you want is small (assuming your fundamentals are good/continually increasing). So you may get less of them, but you'll still get some, and be more satisfied with them in the long run. And it'll feel better getting them too.

Although obviously these options aren't mutually exclusive in real life and we can do both at the same time.

Another possible fix, which may be extreme, would be to condition yourself to like the girls you like less but are easier for you to get, so you become more attracted to them over the long run. An example I can think of would be only watching porn/getting off to a particular type that you normally aren't into (e.g. black girls or girls with tats, could be anything) for a few months. I'm guessing after those few months you'd find those girls who you weren't into a lot more attractive than before. I'm sure there are other ways to do this too but that's an example off the top of my head.

 

[Fuck This]

So it doesn't turn you on to have a woman submitting herself to your sexual will? To be completely under your spell, and putty in your hands?

Believe me I know the feeling...
Maybe it is because I was in a 20 year marriage with an inflexible and cold woman that I find the willing and enthusiastic sex partner to be the ideal. I think our tastes change over time and according to what we feel we LACK. I was always after the tall slender type because I thought I had a "big ass". Then I bedded a shorter athletic girl and I found that the flexibility and athletic advantage to having a smaller partner. It really hit home when I had a 6 ft girl I danced with and she felt less attractive in my hands than the previous woman. Here was a woman nine years younger than me, that was in to me, and gave me every avenue to bed her. And I demurred....TWICE.

I think we create roadblocks in our mind for what makes certain types of women unattainable for us. Once I'd bedded my first blonde, I noticed more blondes showing me interest. Oh BTW, Hair color and nationality does not determine personality. You have to look for personality traits that are receptive to your approach, mannerisms and vibe. Once I'd become a little older, a little more take charge, with a little more authority, I began getting IOI's from more women.

I think it is important to have in your mind what the ideal ONE woman will be to take you "off the market" Personality, Looks, Career, Love language and Family. No one woman will be A1 in all but a keeper is top 10% in all. But chasing that white whale that changes each time you get close just leads to frustration. BD calls it being attracted to the "Thrill of the Hunt" . Look for that personality in people that attract you. it will be more fulfilling.

 

[Pitcher]

Thought provoking post and I like what @JacobPalmer & @FuckThis bring up.

My instinct would be to go the middle way. Focus on maximizing your masculinity, whatever that ends up meaning for you. Then, the right women will begin entering your life and you’ll be ready to pounce. And with game you’ll easily bed them.

I’ve had two 3 month periods in the last 2 years where I felt like I was really firing in all cylinders of my life. In that time quite a few women came into my life of varying looks, physiques, and styles, but we really clicked. It was like we were destined to meet and know each other.

I think when your masculine energy is on point you will naturally get what you desire.

 

[DarkKnight]

I was looking for this post expectantly and Jacob and Fuck This sure delivered.

I have pondered this question many times over as well. I had girls chasing me who other guys would kill for, but always was more interested to the one who had that one "unattainable" trait I was after. Fascinatingly the ones who I liked were completely ignored by my friends. Some even went as far as call them "ugly". For me they could be hard cases. With a few surprises left and right.

Well I don't like wasting time and these days I go for the girls who are "green". I do however keep my fundamentals and behaviours in check so if a girl who was ambivelent before suddenly gets interested I don't get surprised. Then I can game them very carefully because I know calibration will be more important. I still test the waters and start with compliance tests. I also prevent myself from drowning in a wishy washy murky swamp of indecision of the girl.

I think preventing one -itis is most important and not forgetting your value as a man. It is really easy to get a skewed perspective of your options when you deal too much with someone who doesn't value you as much as you are worth.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Oh pry dude! A think JacobPalmer an fuck this deliver on this. It makes sense to go after who actually wants ya, within reason.

Providing ya attracted to them it doesn't matter if there not ya ideal. But as ya noted the real world isn't black an white there's a shade of grey.

A thought provoking question is would ya even go with someone ya weren't attracted to just because they wanted ya? Personally a can't. If they are extremely overweight or ugly a would strive for what a actually wanted. This however is a different scenario to that ya described dude.

 

[naturalmikey]

I see a lot of latinas with black guys. I’m a dark hair olive skin white guy and have always done well with them.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I think that this is actually interesting and really relevant too. One of my friends is a Latino guy who kind of looks like Aaron Hernandez and he draws a lot of attention from blondes and redheads. Unfortunately his type has always been the Emily Ratajkowski and Megan Fox type of white girl and those white girls tend to be suckers for the whitest looking guys. A lot of it is because those women feel insecure about their standing in the white world compared to their blonde sisters. Even knew a cute Italian chick that complained wishing she had blue eyes and was not so tanned.

Naturally you can see that my friend is not going to attract attention from his type and whites with darker features tend to be more racist against minorities anyways. There is a reason you see so many blondes and redheads that are hot with black and Spanish and darker guys but you never see it with a more tanned white girl. Even in Europe, the darker countries where the white population is more olive is also significantly more racist towards blacks and Muslims.

What my friend discovered worked is that you should try to get the hottest girls you can get. Don't sacrifice a one night stand with a hot blonde just so you can sleep with a chubby tanned girl. Over a long enough time, as you are seen out with these girls enough and their friends see them liking you, you'll naturally draw women from different types. Lately my friend slept with this Italian chick from assbackwards Florida, probably one of the most racist states in the country, and she had that wonder woman look to her. The way it happened is he was fucking her blonde friend and she had to get a taste.

Only problem that comes into play here is that if you have a big ego, you live with the fact that you are not her type. I say you can always fuck escorts with the kind of look you like in a girl and go from there as well. Fuck enough of these girls to where they lose their allure to you and then the whole game will be more natural.

There is something to all of this though.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I see a lot of latinas with black guys. I’m a dark hair olive skin white guy and have always done well with them.

Yeah and I am a brown guy so we're not the same bro.