- Joined
- Nov 18, 2019
- Messages
- 198
Context: Cold approached this girl near the subway and setup a date for the comimg weekend
We de ided to meet after he work hours 2 days later.
Phase 1 meeting:
----------------------------------
Date begins
we arrive at the pizza place and get to the venue
me: lets sit down here by the window
she: okay ( she sits by the booth and I sit right next to her not across form her so I could be touching her)
me: so what are you going to be having, they have pretty good pizzas
she: lett me see , what's good here
me: there are garclic breads, spicy pizzas, you could also have coffee
she: no I don't like cofee, I'll have garlic bread
me: okay cool, I'll have a pizza, I'll just make the order and get it
she: sure, I'll just come back from the bathroom
me: okay, (I make our order and wait for her and she comes from the bathroom)
(she comes back form the bathroom and is sitting besides me)
me: so tell me how did you get into marketing?
she: ohh yeah actually I used to study mathematics a lot and after I graduated I was going to be doing a phd, but my expereince there told me I can't do this I am not enjoying it so I had to change.
me: like what kind of experience?
she: ohh just my years in college helped me see how vast life really was and I was just a very studios girl in my school and I felt like I had missed all the fun so I just had to change my approach to life
me: you were really studios? so you were an academic star right? top of the class?
she: yeahh you could say that
me: okay, so you must be pretty intelligent then
she: yeah
me: cool, so since you were so academcially inclinded, why didn't you enjoy the research you were about to do or your phd
she: well it was because I just had to be at one place, stuck in a lab or college and it was very dull and a fixed routine, I couldn't imagine myself doing that for my life
she: heyy if you don't mind can you sit in front, I jsut feel like I am talking to a wall here
me: (uhh okay i am thrown off by this should I comply or refuse, i change places and sit in front, should have moved a more slowly and taken my time to get up )
me: okay, but how is what you are doing any different marketing analytics and your mathematically research they seem kind off the same branch academeic and intellectual.
she: well it's different becase here I get to work on several different projects and also there is a vibrant social life where we have team bonding excercise we travel with our colleages and I get a lot of exposure and so it's really fun and different
me: I see. you mentioned you completely changed after school in your college. do you miss that time?
she: ohh yeah I really do, I didn't really go to classes . I just had a lot of fun. I would just go to a lot of palces with my friends , I had pretty close freind group and we would do all sorts of things exploring the city.
me: okay, so what were the places you went, what are the palces you have seen city
she: I have seen w,x,y,z ( lissts a few places)
me: have you Q?
she: ohh yeah I have seen Q (monument) I actually went there with my colleages, it was one of the best memoreis of last year
me: what did you do there?
she: ohh it was a week before my mangers wedding so we went there to
celebrate a few days earlier
me: did she have her marraige vows there?
she: laughs no
me: you never no these days people do anything
she: yeahh no she just took here there for lunch, we went there to have lunch and in the evening we went there, and the place had beautifull lighting and looked gorgeous, and the winter time all of it made it amazing.
me: okayy, yeahh that's a pretty good place
me: okayy have you seen A ( I list another fa pretty famous monumentin the city)
she: nooo, Ihaven't seen A
me: You haven't seen A, that's one of the biggest tourist attractionsin the city
she: I know, I want to see it.
me: ohh godd, it's so beautifull, I have been there the architecture of the palce is stunning
she: I Know I have seen it from the outside it looks prety cool
me: no from the inside it's pretty different, it a whole other vibe so majestic, I have seen tourists from out of the country also gush about the place, tell me that was the best expereince of the travel
me: have you seen the special play they have inside that place
she: the gods vs demons play?
me: yeahh, it's amazing you have to see it, so they have this ..
(I begin describing some detials )
she: noo, don't tell me. you're spoiling it for me. I am going to go and see it
me: ohhh okay okay cool ( i say smiling ) you go wathch it by yourslef
you wil love it.
me: so you where else have you travelled, you mentioned on text you've been to jenji ilsand and kito coast
she: not kito coast, I went to jenji island
me: okayy, so you do you travel to these places with you family and all?
she: noo, they are completely unethesustic about such these things, I really have to push them for these, they just don't like the hassle of getting up, dressing they would reahter have a relaxing day at home.
me: okayy, so you're the funn one in your house?
she: yeahh, they woudln't even travel to the city spots or explore it on weekends or anythig like that
me: okayy that sucks.
me: so the top of the class nerdy girl has been having quite the social life then. studious betty
( a ref. from a famous movie where the girl is pretty studious)
she: ohh yeah, studious betty. You know that movis (bett'ys life)
is one of my favourite movies. I have a whole ritual aroudn that movie
me: a ritual ? what do you do ?
she: I invite all my frineds near the newe year celebrations and we watch the movie together, Ijsut relive that movie again and gain
me: okayy, because that girl betty that's you right? she has a very similar life to you- sutdious nerdy girl in school, then feels missing out on life so transcormsm into a social butterfly trying to have all kinds of fun experiences
she: starts laughing hard . ohhh myyy gawwdd. that's so trueee
you know I have told about this movie to so many of my friends
but you saw this paralllel so clearly , nobody could see this.
me: ohh yeah, it's just pretty obvious that's why you love it.
me: so what do you love specifically about that movie, the theme of freindship, the journey of betty or somethingn esle
she: it's all of it actually, because that movie explores all aspects of life, the responsiblites people have, the freindship, the transformtation of betty form nerdy to the popular girl.
me: okayyy, so you want to live life the fullest
she: yeahh, I don't why peope are just stuck in the past, they are depressed or sad about their past, just move on, there so much to expereince be happy and have the time of you life
me: yeahh that's true
me: so you want to have all the expreiences of life
she: yeahh I have so many dreams and wish lists
me: like what?
she: like I want to travel to so many places, there are some in my wishlist are a bit surrela like I want to have my own bar, I want to work in a large zoo.
me: your own bar, and want to work in a larage zoo, that's pretty intresting.
she: yeahh i know they are pretty dreamy
me: yeahh , but how are going to work in a zoo like waht kind?
she: you know they have these natural habitats in african svanahs, where it's not really a zoo witha cages but an ecnoulsed sancturay with animals living in the wild.
me: yeahh that one requires some work to pull off, the bar one is also intresting you could pull that one off a bit more easliyt
she: yeahh you found the bar one intresing , I have so many more dreamy things in my wishlist I have a whole bunch of them
me: okay so it's pretty coool, your dreams aer pretty unrelated very different form one another but they have this underlying thread of novelty and variety
she: yeahh I just want to experience life to the fullest
me: so you know in that movie you love , there is also a scene where her sister tells her she can be craving all the experinces she wants but she can't live them all, what do you think of that scene
she: yeahh I meann I know that scnee, it's not that I am going to have all the experinces, but I want to have as much as I can have till I have time
me: heyy, you're not going to diee anytime soon, you've got enough time
she: laughs, noo i mean you never know
she: I mean before I get married, you never know how your life changes or everything gets over I have time till then to do all the exploratina nd living of life
me: okayyy, so what time do you have to be home by though?
she: i have to be home by 9 and it takes me an hourform the subway so I will have ot leave by 8 I guess
me: okayy, we have 3o mins more then, we'll leave at that time so you can get home
she: yeahh
me: so what's your routine like, you come from work. get home study some and then sleep
she: noo I get really tired, so I get home- relax a bit wind down, put on a movie and then sleep. I sleep very poorly though.
me: ohh yeahh sleep, who wants to sleep. You proably want to go do something fun or travel
she: laughs hard , ohh my godd. I am not that badd
me: laughing yeahh ofcourse , you probaly think sleep is a waste of time
she: laughing I mean I could do without it tought if it was optional and i could do something fun
me: yeah and what aabout eating. waste of time again , right?
she: you're a roast master, you know that ?
me: smiling
she: smiling - noo I like eating though, that's not a waste of time.
me: waht kind of food do you like junk food
she: yeahh junk food I like those dishes, very appetizing and not healhty
me : okay something is good then, you like food, that's cool
me: so you're pretty tired when you get home.
she: yeahh I mean it's jsut that if I want to do something and it's going much slower or I have missed it I get pretty frsutrated and then I get angry at myself
me: okay so not being able to check off your tasks gets you restless
she: no it's not that I get restless, it's that i get very frustrated that I haven't done anything today
me: okay I see.
she: looks at her phone
( I was a bit concerned her if she was really enjoying th conv. She would have forfotten abt the time, but maybe she want to be hom befire its dark, but tbis has put a little doubt in my mid abiut the date, but I made her laugh at quite a few places and got her talking about her dreams and experiences so maybe she did enjoy)
me: okay what time is it?
she: it's close to 8
me: okay we should go then
she: okay are we going then?
me: yeah let's go we don't want to be late
she: okay
----------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Texting
I am happy overall I progressed and made imorvement had sucessfull physical escalation, betyer from ladt time when the girl refused the kiss.
Anyways could you help me understand why she didnt feel connection?
I made sure I got her talking most of the time, made her talk about dreams and experiences, still she felt no connection and refused the second date.
We de ided to meet after he work hours 2 days later.
Phase 1 meeting:
Date day
*I am waiting for her near her workplace to meet her*
I spot her near the subway and tap her on the shoulder
me: hey where you going?
she: oh, hi ( she was on the phone and is winding the call down)
me: lets go this way
(she follows me nad I take her though the crowd to the cafe I am planning
to visit with her )
me: so where were you going?
she: oh no, I couldn't spot you so I was thinking maybe we were going to
some place to eat so I was looking for the exit
me: oh, okay
( we begin walking on a side street towards the cafe at the end of it)
me: so how was you office party?
(She told me in text she would have an ofc party and was packing presents for the same )
she: it was good
me: so you got any intresting gifts, you had an anonymous gift exchange right?
she: ohh yeahh, it was pretty good. everybody got gifts except me though
me: why
she: ohh cozz, the guy who was supposed to gift me, didn't come today
he's going to be coming in a few days and till then I have to wait
me: ohh touhg luck . anyways what kind of gifts did people give?
she: nothing too eye catching, the gifts were quite ordinary. only
the gifts by manager was quite nice. she gifted (something I can't rember)
me: ohh okay
she: where are we going by the way
me: it's a cafe neaby it's called bilane, you know about it?
she: bilane? no I have'nt heard of it
me: you see that big blue board ( I show her , it's visible form thedistance)
she: ohh that?
me: yeahh
she: uhhh, there could some of my colleagues there, a lot of them go there to have food
me: really?
she: yeah (she looks a bit concious now, possible due to reputation concerns )
me: okay ( I am thrown off a little, my plan's gone for a toss, what do i do know)
( I propose a venue shift on the spot)
me: okay then let's not go there, How about we have something at dominoz nearby
she: okay (shes happy nack now again, it disnt mattet to her that we are going to not so fancy place seems like discretion was more important to her)
me: cool
( we take a cab to a dominoz neaby ) ( we are talking in the cab)
me: so you were telling me about the gifts and your manger she must be pretty cool getting involved in the celebrations
she: yeahh she is pretty casual with us
me: that great because a lot of higher management can be a little distant with their employees
she: yeah, no she isn't like that
me: so you like the place working at right now?
she: yeahh it's pretty great we have a lot of fun activities and events
we go to parties, team bonding events
me: ohh that's nice
she: yeah i think our manager also invited us to her wedding celebrations few days before that she took us out for lunches and dinner, we had a lot of fun
me: okay
she: I am actually the entertainer in the office, that' is the tag that i am given
me: so you're the funny one
she: yeahh me and there is this other guy he is also hilarious, he says some ridiculous things as well.
----------------------------------
Date begins
we arrive at the pizza place and get to the venue
me: lets sit down here by the window
she: okay ( she sits by the booth and I sit right next to her not across form her so I could be touching her)
me: so what are you going to be having, they have pretty good pizzas
she: lett me see , what's good here
me: there are garclic breads, spicy pizzas, you could also have coffee
she: no I don't like cofee, I'll have garlic bread
me: okay cool, I'll have a pizza, I'll just make the order and get it
she: sure, I'll just come back from the bathroom
me: okay, (I make our order and wait for her and she comes from the bathroom)
(she comes back form the bathroom and is sitting besides me)
me: so tell me how did you get into marketing?
she: ohh yeah actually I used to study mathematics a lot and after I graduated I was going to be doing a phd, but my expereince there told me I can't do this I am not enjoying it so I had to change.
me: like what kind of experience?
she: ohh just my years in college helped me see how vast life really was and I was just a very studios girl in my school and I felt like I had missed all the fun so I just had to change my approach to life
me: you were really studios? so you were an academic star right? top of the class?
she: yeahh you could say that
me: okay, so you must be pretty intelligent then
she: yeah
me: cool, so since you were so academcially inclinded, why didn't you enjoy the research you were about to do or your phd
she: well it was because I just had to be at one place, stuck in a lab or college and it was very dull and a fixed routine, I couldn't imagine myself doing that for my life
she: heyy if you don't mind can you sit in front, I jsut feel like I am talking to a wall here
me: (uhh okay i am thrown off by this should I comply or refuse, i change places and sit in front, should have moved a more slowly and taken my time to get up )
me: okay, but how is what you are doing any different marketing analytics and your mathematically research they seem kind off the same branch academeic and intellectual.
she: well it's different becase here I get to work on several different projects and also there is a vibrant social life where we have team bonding excercise we travel with our colleages and I get a lot of exposure and so it's really fun and different
me: I see. you mentioned you completely changed after school in your college. do you miss that time?
she: ohh yeah I really do, I didn't really go to classes . I just had a lot of fun. I would just go to a lot of palces with my friends , I had pretty close freind group and we would do all sorts of things exploring the city.
me: okay, so what were the places you went, what are the palces you have seen city
she: I have seen w,x,y,z ( lissts a few places)
me: have you Q?
she: ohh yeah I have seen Q (monument) I actually went there with my colleages, it was one of the best memoreis of last year
me: what did you do there?
she: ohh it was a week before my mangers wedding so we went there to
celebrate a few days earlier
me: did she have her marraige vows there?
she: laughs no
me: you never no these days people do anything
she: yeahh no she just took here there for lunch, we went there to have lunch and in the evening we went there, and the place had beautifull lighting and looked gorgeous, and the winter time all of it made it amazing.
me: okayy, yeahh that's a pretty good place
me: okayy have you seen A ( I list another fa pretty famous monumentin the city)
she: nooo, Ihaven't seen A
me: You haven't seen A, that's one of the biggest tourist attractionsin the city
she: I know, I want to see it.
me: ohh godd, it's so beautifull, I have been there the architecture of the palce is stunning
she: I Know I have seen it from the outside it looks prety cool
me: no from the inside it's pretty different, it a whole other vibe so majestic, I have seen tourists from out of the country also gush about the place, tell me that was the best expereince of the travel
me: have you seen the special play they have inside that place
she: the gods vs demons play?
me: yeahh, it's amazing you have to see it, so they have this ..
(I begin describing some detials )
she: noo, don't tell me. you're spoiling it for me. I am going to go and see it
me: ohhh okay okay cool ( i say smiling ) you go wathch it by yourslef
you wil love it.
me: so you where else have you travelled, you mentioned on text you've been to jenji ilsand and kito coast
she: not kito coast, I went to jenji island
me: okayy, so you do you travel to these places with you family and all?
she: noo, they are completely unethesustic about such these things, I really have to push them for these, they just don't like the hassle of getting up, dressing they would reahter have a relaxing day at home.
me: okayy, so you're the funn one in your house?
she: yeahh, they woudln't even travel to the city spots or explore it on weekends or anythig like that
me: okayy that sucks.
me: so the top of the class nerdy girl has been having quite the social life then. studious betty
( a ref. from a famous movie where the girl is pretty studious)
she: ohh yeah, studious betty. You know that movis (bett'ys life)
is one of my favourite movies. I have a whole ritual aroudn that movie
me: a ritual ? what do you do ?
she: I invite all my frineds near the newe year celebrations and we watch the movie together, Ijsut relive that movie again and gain
me: okayy, because that girl betty that's you right? she has a very similar life to you- sutdious nerdy girl in school, then feels missing out on life so transcormsm into a social butterfly trying to have all kinds of fun experiences
she: starts laughing hard . ohhh myyy gawwdd. that's so trueee
you know I have told about this movie to so many of my friends
but you saw this paralllel so clearly , nobody could see this.
me: ohh yeah, it's just pretty obvious that's why you love it.
me: so what do you love specifically about that movie, the theme of freindship, the journey of betty or somethingn esle
she: it's all of it actually, because that movie explores all aspects of life, the responsiblites people have, the freindship, the transformtation of betty form nerdy to the popular girl.
me: okayyy, so you want to live life the fullest
she: yeahh, I don't why peope are just stuck in the past, they are depressed or sad about their past, just move on, there so much to expereince be happy and have the time of you life
me: yeahh that's true
me: so you want to have all the expreiences of life
she: yeahh I have so many dreams and wish lists
me: like what?
she: like I want to travel to so many places, there are some in my wishlist are a bit surrela like I want to have my own bar, I want to work in a large zoo.
me: your own bar, and want to work in a larage zoo, that's pretty intresting.
she: yeahh i know they are pretty dreamy
me: yeahh , but how are going to work in a zoo like waht kind?
she: you know they have these natural habitats in african svanahs, where it's not really a zoo witha cages but an ecnoulsed sancturay with animals living in the wild.
me: yeahh that one requires some work to pull off, the bar one is also intresting you could pull that one off a bit more easliyt
she: yeahh you found the bar one intresing , I have so many more dreamy things in my wishlist I have a whole bunch of them
me: okay so it's pretty coool, your dreams aer pretty unrelated very different form one another but they have this underlying thread of novelty and variety
she: yeahh I just want to experience life to the fullest
me: so you know in that movie you love , there is also a scene where her sister tells her she can be craving all the experinces she wants but she can't live them all, what do you think of that scene
she: yeahh I meann I know that scnee, it's not that I am going to have all the experinces, but I want to have as much as I can have till I have time
me: heyy, you're not going to diee anytime soon, you've got enough time
she: laughs, noo i mean you never know
she: I mean before I get married, you never know how your life changes or everything gets over I have time till then to do all the exploratina nd living of life
me: okayyy, so what time do you have to be home by though?
she: i have to be home by 9 and it takes me an hourform the subway so I will have ot leave by 8 I guess
me: okayy, we have 3o mins more then, we'll leave at that time so you can get home
she: yeahh
me: so what's your routine like, you come from work. get home study some and then sleep
she: noo I get really tired, so I get home- relax a bit wind down, put on a movie and then sleep. I sleep very poorly though.
me: ohh yeahh sleep, who wants to sleep. You proably want to go do something fun or travel
she: laughs hard , ohh my godd. I am not that badd
me: laughing yeahh ofcourse , you probaly think sleep is a waste of time
she: laughing I mean I could do without it tought if it was optional and i could do something fun
me: yeah and what aabout eating. waste of time again , right?
she: you're a roast master, you know that ?
me: smiling
she: smiling - noo I like eating though, that's not a waste of time.
me: waht kind of food do you like junk food
she: yeahh junk food I like those dishes, very appetizing and not healhty
me : okay something is good then, you like food, that's cool
me: so you're pretty tired when you get home.
she: yeahh I mean it's jsut that if I want to do something and it's going much slower or I have missed it I get pretty frsutrated and then I get angry at myself
me: okay so not being able to check off your tasks gets you restless
she: no it's not that I get restless, it's that i get very frustrated that I haven't done anything today
me: okay I see.
she: looks at her phone
( I was a bit concerned her if she was really enjoying th conv. She would have forfotten abt the time, but maybe she want to be hom befire its dark, but tbis has put a little doubt in my mid abiut the date, but I made her laugh at quite a few places and got her talking about her dreams and experiences so maybe she did enjoy)
me: okay what time is it?
she: it's close to 8
me: okay we should go then
she: okay are we going then?
me: yeah let's go we don't want to be late
she: okay
----------------------------------
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Texting
I text at night
Me: Had a good time todayhope you reached home safe
She: no response
Next day
Me: Hey studious betty
You lost in your work papers, how was your day?
Betty: Hey arnav! It was nice talking to you but I didn't feel connection with you, Thanks for your time and vest of luck for your future.
Also, if you want to split the bill, send me the details. I don't want to cause any monetary loss.
[Yikes!! I was bit surprised after seeing this]
Me:Nah it's totally , I just like getting to know new people. Thanks for being honest.
Betty: Thanks for understanding
Me: sure no problem, take care betty
Betty: You too Arnav.
** sigh**
that sucked she texted me like an hr rejecting a interview candidate lol.
I am happy overall I progressed and made imorvement had sucessfull physical escalation, betyer from ladt time when the girl refused the kiss.
Anyways could you help me understand why she didnt feel connection?
I made sure I got her talking most of the time, made her talk about dreams and experiences, still she felt no connection and refused the second date.
