Has anyone here ever kicked an addiction?

[Francis]

Hi guys, so my major friction against approaching is pot addiction. It impacts several factors.

Has anyone ever kicked it? I can do some research obviously but it would be interesting it anyone has managed to shift that compulsion to approach addiction.

 

[Francis]

I just did a ~9am approach in a coffee shop. The problem is nights and weekends I am shooting myself in the foot.

Me [over shoulder]: Hi, can I ask you something... Isn't the white coat supposed to stay sterile? Should you be wearing that out in public?

Her: Oh I've never thought about that

Me: So you're not breaking a rule they were supposed to train you on?

Her: It's a good point actually

Me: What sort of work do you do?

Her: Rheumatology... Joints

Me: Oh that's good you are not operating or anything

***

She drifted away with strong eye contact and a smile, which I take to mean "I'm married" or similar. She looked a couple years older than me.

 

[James D]

I've struggled with these addictions:

-Overeating (Large McD order+ Netflix every single night of 2021 after dinner)
-Coca Cola (8 cans on average per day)
-Alcohol (every single day and night of 2021)

Milder ones include entering in lethargic states, so just laying down whole day.

I'm not a smoker and never smoked pot though, so I can't tell if it's the same.

I've kicked every one of my addictions following the 12 steps in Russell Brand's book Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions.

To develop approach addiction, I've found that getting very turned on in person when walking around watching girls basically fires me to approach.

I'm an ass man so all it takes is looking at a few nice butts and legs and being really in the moment and before I know it, there's a fire in my lower body forcing me to approach.

 

[Duff]

I have recently quit porn using this ebook https://easypeasymethod.org/now.html and I have found it to be very good, it is based on Allen Carr's books who seems to have made amazing ones on how to quit smoking and alcohol, I would probably try reading this ebook and just think about it in terms of pot and porn, cause drawbacks are pretty similar imo

I quit pot over 2 years ago as well after every day use for few years, tho I was kind of forced to stop, key thing for me and for most addictions which is basic premise of former books is to know u arent losing anything and are only gaining from quitting, so u dont actually count days or look at it as restraining from it cause u actually made the decision to quit and u believe in it, u probably will feel physical drawbacks from quitting pot in likes of trouble sleeping and loss of apetite, but once u are past those u actually wont have to restrain yourself at all, I am pretty often among friends who smoke and even tho I am not forced not to smoke right now, I dont want to anymore and dont have to restrain myself at all

Anyways good luck man, pot addiction really sucks and can be pretty hard to beat first few weeks, but if u get past physical drawbacks u are good to go

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Hi guys, so my major friction against approaching is pot addiction. It impacts several factors.

Has anyone ever kicked it? I can do some research obviously but it would be interesting it anyone has managed to shift that compulsion to approach addiction.

Internet
Smoking
Porn
Drinking ( controlled it before letting it become one and quit eventually)

And also kicked many Ocds too. Well, even overthinking and catastrophizing can be an addiction.

Just know that even though it's quite mainstream to say but try to realise that why you started smoking pot in the first place.. Cuz addictions generally start when we want to escape reality..it happened to mr years ago..And then it fed me with lies about myself to keep me addicted to all these things.

 

[Francis]

I've struggled with these addictions:

Wow that is a serious shift. Good on your man... that amount of sugar is a LOT.

I think you guys posted in @Atlas IV 's thread I'll have to review. I will definitely check out the book, thanks! Staring at butts sounds like a fine solution. The problem with pot is is makes you lethargic and passive (or chatty in an uncontrolled way), and then also fucks with your REM sleep, which also affects the gym... so I think you can become less of a risk taker than you would be otherwise.

I have recently quit porn using this ebook https://easypeasymethod.org/now.html and I have found it to be very good, it is based on Allen Carr's books who seems to have made amazing ones on how to quit smoking and alcohol, I would probably try reading this ebook and just think about it in terms of pot and porn, cause drawbacks are pretty similar imo

I quit pot over 2 years ago as well after every day use for few years, tho I was kind of forced to stop, key thing for me and for most addictions which is basic premise of former books is to know u arent losing anything and are only gaining from quitting, so u dont actually count days or look at it as restraining from it cause u actually made the decision to quit and u believe in it, u probably will feel physical drawbacks from quitting pot in likes of trouble sleeping and loss of apetite, but once u are past those u actually wont have to restrain yourself at all, I am pretty often among friends who smoke and even tho I am not forced not to smoke right now, I dont want to anymore and dont have to restrain myself at all

Anyways good luck man, pot addiction really sucks and can be pretty hard to beat first few weeks, but if u get past physical drawbacks u are good to go

Thank you Duff - this is a a great reply. Sounds like it's all about psychologically reframing, so it's a strong decision you believe in as you put it. That is good to hear you haven't had to exercise restraint and it's just sort of about getting over the threshold. I'll give it a read!

try to realise that why you started smoking pot in the first place.. Cuz addictions generally start when we want to escape reality

Thanks, yeah it's good to think about. I'll have to reach back in my memory a bit and see. It was age 14 and started social at high school lunch, but I remember just wanting to try it for the sake of it before that, and soon after was happy doing it with others or alone. It was mostly from boredom in class and then became a regular thing after school, especially around age 17, so that really just wasn't that good for the mind, especially given whatever shit quality it was at the time.

It's a really great plant if you experience it with zero tolerance. Very easy to want to chase and hold on to that.

 

[Francis]

I just did a ~9am approach in a coffee shop. The problem is nights and weekends I am shooting myself in the foot.

Me [over shoulder]: Hi, can I ask you something... Isn't the white coat supposed to stay sterile? Should you be wearing that out in public?

Her: Oh I've never thought about that

Me: So you're not breaking a rule they were supposed to train you on?

Her: It's a good point actually

Me: What sort of work do you do?

Her: Rheumatology... Joints

Me: Oh that's good you are not operating or anything

***

She drifted away with strong eye contact and a smile, which I take to mean "I'm married" or similar. She looked a couple years older than me.

And I have way too much potential to not fix this.

The barista saw it happen. We've always been slightly flirty, but when I went back in the afternoon she was fully leaning over to show her cleavage and straight up gave me my coffee for free. It's a shit at work situation but was a major shift.

If I can flip to positive momentum of approaches with intent, it should really start to take off.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Wow that is a serious shift. Good on your man... that amount of sugar is a LOT.

I think you guys posted in @Atlas IV 's thread I'll have to review. I will definitely check out the book, thanks! Staring at butts sounds like a fine solution. The problem with pot is is makes you lethargic and passive (or chatty in an uncontrolled way), and then also fucks with your REM sleep, which also affects the gym... so I think you can become less of a risk taker than you would be otherwise.


Thank you Duff - this is a a great reply. Sounds like it's all about psychologically reframing, so it's a strong decision you believe in as you put it. That is good to hear you haven't had to exercise restraint and it's just sort of about getting over the threshold. I'll give it a read!


Thanks, yeah it's good to think about. I'll have to reach back in my memory a bit and see. It was age 14 and started social at high school lunch, but I remember just wanting to try it for the sake of it before that, and soon after was happy doing it with others or alone. It was mostly from boredom in class and then became a regular thing after school, especially around age 17, so that really just wasn't that good for the mind, especially given whatever shit quality it was at the time.

It's a really great plant if you experience it with zero tolerance. Very easy to want to chase and hold on to that.

Same with me. Initially, cuz of people and young age but later it was just to numb myself out.

But hard to think i would have gotten addicted if I wasn't lonely and serious lack of women.

My root cause of all my addictions was lack of women and then failure to achieve my ideal life and career in teenage. May sound weird but st that time, everything was life shattering.

 

[justonemoreperson]

Me [over shoulder]: Hi, can I ask you something... Isn't the white coat supposed to stay sterile? Should you be wearing that out in public?

Her: Oh I've never thought about that

Me: So you're not breaking a rule they were supposed to train you on?

Her: It's a good point actually

Me: What sort of work do you do?

Her: Rheumatology... Joints

Me: Oh that's good you are not operating or anything

***

She drifted away with strong eye contact and a smile, which I take to mean "I'm married" or similar. She looked a couple years older than me.

This interaction seems really platonic. Could that be a reason why she drifted away? Maybe she's not sure why you're talking to her. Instead of "What sort of work do you do?", you could have turned the interaction flirty by being playful with something like, "So tell me... in what other ways in life do you usually break the rules?" with a big smile on your face. And when she responded to that, you could follow it up with, "you can add talking to sexy strangers in the coffee shop to that list", then extend your palm and introduce yourself.

 

[Francis]

This interaction seems really platonic. Could that be a reason why she drifted away? Maybe she's not sure why you're talking to her. Instead of "What sort of work do you do?", you could have turned the interaction flirty by being playful with something like, "So tell me... in what other ways in life do you usually break the rules?" with a big smile on your face. And when she responded to that, you could follow it up with, "you can add talking to sexy strangers in the coffee shop to that list", then extend your palm and introduce yourself.

Yep you're definitely right I need to do more to introduce sexual frames and get much better at flirting.

Reading her body language though she was closed off, so I didn't want to chase or plow at all partly because my coworkers are constantly streaming in and out of this place. It was sort of like a ping but she didn't really engage much.

I do like cocky/funny and especially grandmaster style sometimes. But part of me sees it as dangerously close to Johnny Bravo game:

Sky high attainability

 

[mirror]

I just did a ~9am approach in a coffee shop. The problem is nights and weekends I am shooting myself in the foot.

Me [over shoulder]: Hi, can I ask you something... Isn't the white coat supposed to stay sterile? Should you be wearing that out in public?

Her: Oh I've never thought about that

This is the moment you need to step up your game. she didnt give you a sign of interest at all. Meaning you need to pull back and then give a small opening to her to pick up upon. You did not do that and just continued, which is enough to know it wouldnt work in 99 out of 100 cases

Back to the topic of addiction. Discipline, self-talk helps a lot too.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Few more addictions I kicked out of life.

The thing is in school i was heavily molested by other guys for 5 years that I became addicted to my own abuse by the 5th year.

Hell after that, even started re- enacting it with myself alone.
Did it for like 4 years which later lead to lot of identity confusion.

And even that became an addiction of mine.. constantly stressing over my sexual identity.

But eventually learnt a lot about myself. And recently learnt how to live my life the way i really want and not by whatever fucked up happened.

Pretty heavy stuff, i know. But as I told you, i have recently addressed lot of my issues and past and have decided to let go of it so that it doesn't become an obstacle in my path to success with women... And i no longer feel like overanalyzing if I get some confused thoughts and feelings.

Don't want to talk here much as it would become off topic and not something you hear from someone in pickup. But felt like sharing it cuz overthinking about identity was an addiction of mine.