Hello community!
I'd like you to help me decoding a girl that I've been meeting.
Sorry for the long post, but I think it's important to describe this situation in more details.
Here's the story:
I met her at work. She has an abusive boyfriend and a little son. At first I did't care about her at all and treated her just as an acquaintance that I enjoyed working and playfully flirt with. She started chasing a little and wanted to go out with me. We've been meeting as "friends" once a week, gym first and then just a coffee in the morning at my place with nothing sexual except some sex talk. Like I said, I didn't think it was even possible to sleep with her. I didn't pursue her - it was her idea to meet.
When her boyfriend went on holidays with her son, we started "dating" and sleeping together. One day before her bf was supposed to come back, she cried and rejected sex, because she thinks that she somehow still loves him. I was slightly disappointed, but I told her it's OK. However I've told her that we shouldn't meet anywhere else except at workplace.
I didn't keep my promise, because I started caring too much... I invited her for a breakfast 2 weeks after...
After that I think I started fu***ng up. I've became kind of a jerk to her at work. I wasn't extremely rude, but still. After a few weeks she was gone for a month to visit different country. I did the famous no-contact rule during this period. She contacted me once, saying that she'll be coming back soon and we'll see each other at work.
After her comeback, she wanted to continue our morning meetings (that's her only available time, when she can meet, because her child is in nursery and bf at work). I told her, following one coach's advice that I only want to meet her, when she has free evening. (so sex can happen).
She started becoming more and more bitchy (jokingly and playfully, but almost disrespectfully. Definitely not as she was before) and I do the same to her (nothing extreme, though).
After a few weeks of me not inviting her to do anything and just being polite, without any form of chasing or contact apart of work, she started being flirty again. She also knows, that I'm meeting different women. Last Friday she complimented me a lot, she was staring at me and touching me a lot. She also asked if I have a girlfriend. I just said that I'm keeping my options open.
After shift she told me that in return of her giving me a lift after work, (she drives me home after work and earlier this evening I told her that I feel bad that she does that with nothing in return) she wants me to do her a massage (I'm also a physiotherapist). I told her "we'll see".
On Sunday I've decided to invite her to make that happen and went to our workplace when she was working (I wanted to invite her in person - not via phone. Besides - I was in this area anyway). She said she is available on Monday and Tuesday mornings. I probably messed up by saying "I'll let you know later if I'm available then". She right away said "No, I'll be busy". I said "well, see you later then" and left.
We are working together, so we meet each other once or twice a week. Now here are some more questions, what do you think:
- How should I act around her at work? Should I be rather cold and distant (without being a dick about it) or be more polite, like nothing really happened?
- Should I tell her that she became disrespectful?
- Is she testing or just looking for attention and lost interest completely?
- If she brings up geting together, (I won't mention it myself) should I stick to the "only evening dates rule" or agree to meet her in the morning, when she is actually available? Would it give a friendship vibe?
I don't think she's a good long term relationship material, but she could be a great girl to have fun with.
Thank you so much in advance for your help, and for your great input in dating advices.
Keep up the great work.
I'd like you to help me decoding a girl that I've been meeting.
Sorry for the long post, but I think it's important to describe this situation in more details.
Here's the story:
I met her at work. She has an abusive boyfriend and a little son. At first I did't care about her at all and treated her just as an acquaintance that I enjoyed working and playfully flirt with. She started chasing a little and wanted to go out with me. We've been meeting as "friends" once a week, gym first and then just a coffee in the morning at my place with nothing sexual except some sex talk. Like I said, I didn't think it was even possible to sleep with her. I didn't pursue her - it was her idea to meet.
When her boyfriend went on holidays with her son, we started "dating" and sleeping together. One day before her bf was supposed to come back, she cried and rejected sex, because she thinks that she somehow still loves him. I was slightly disappointed, but I told her it's OK. However I've told her that we shouldn't meet anywhere else except at workplace.
I didn't keep my promise, because I started caring too much... I invited her for a breakfast 2 weeks after...
After that I think I started fu***ng up. I've became kind of a jerk to her at work. I wasn't extremely rude, but still. After a few weeks she was gone for a month to visit different country. I did the famous no-contact rule during this period. She contacted me once, saying that she'll be coming back soon and we'll see each other at work.
After her comeback, she wanted to continue our morning meetings (that's her only available time, when she can meet, because her child is in nursery and bf at work). I told her, following one coach's advice that I only want to meet her, when she has free evening. (so sex can happen).
She started becoming more and more bitchy (jokingly and playfully, but almost disrespectfully. Definitely not as she was before) and I do the same to her (nothing extreme, though).
After a few weeks of me not inviting her to do anything and just being polite, without any form of chasing or contact apart of work, she started being flirty again. She also knows, that I'm meeting different women. Last Friday she complimented me a lot, she was staring at me and touching me a lot. She also asked if I have a girlfriend. I just said that I'm keeping my options open.
After shift she told me that in return of her giving me a lift after work, (she drives me home after work and earlier this evening I told her that I feel bad that she does that with nothing in return) she wants me to do her a massage (I'm also a physiotherapist). I told her "we'll see".
On Sunday I've decided to invite her to make that happen and went to our workplace when she was working (I wanted to invite her in person - not via phone. Besides - I was in this area anyway). She said she is available on Monday and Tuesday mornings. I probably messed up by saying "I'll let you know later if I'm available then". She right away said "No, I'll be busy". I said "well, see you later then" and left.
We are working together, so we meet each other once or twice a week. Now here are some more questions, what do you think:
- How should I act around her at work? Should I be rather cold and distant (without being a dick about it) or be more polite, like nothing really happened?
- Should I tell her that she became disrespectful?
- Is she testing or just looking for attention and lost interest completely?
- If she brings up geting together, (I won't mention it myself) should I stick to the "only evening dates rule" or agree to meet her in the morning, when she is actually available? Would it give a friendship vibe?
I don't think she's a good long term relationship material, but she could be a great girl to have fun with.
Thank you so much in advance for your help, and for your great input in dating advices.
Keep up the great work.
