Help Ninja Find The Target

[LemurKing]

Changing Aim​

The 14 Day Noob Challenge helped me get a better picture of where I am in my Game journey. Having completed 13 out of 14 challenges, and with the new year coming, it's time I sit down and recalibrate my approach to learning Game.

I'm asking the experienced PUAs here to help me decide what the best next step would be for me to take. I'm focused on Day Game but what the hell do I know, maybe I need to get into Night Game. I've laid out where I'm at now and what my ideas are for my next steps.

My worst fear right now is choosing the wrong path, wandering aimlessly, and ultimately going nowhere

TLDR:

1. I have times where I'm super confident, and bad times where it looks like I just started
2. I'm only as good as my baseline performance, which is my "bad times"
3. Approach anxiety and in set fundamentals/frame are my problem points
4. I'm considering Mass Approach (20 approaches a weekend for 1 month) or purchasing a course
5. Skip to Options Under Consideration
6. Ninja says "Thank You"

Important Information And Observations​

1. Fluctuating Performance
   Some days or weeks I perform really well; I go into sets with minimal to no AA, fundamentals quite good, go beyond what the challenge was for the day...
   But other times, I just feel like a terrified little boy who can barely get an approach in and when I do, the most that's said is
   
   "Hello, you're cute, please don't hurt me, good-by"
   
   I can't rely on random good times to Game, and I'm only as good as the average of my worst sets
   
   
2. Weekend Only
   I live in a mid-sized town and get out so late from work that by the time I get home and change, all the venues are almost empty or closed.
   So the optimal time for me to Game is weekends (Friday - Sunday)
   
   I'm also able to and considering driving 1h to a large nearby city with A LOT more people
   
   
3. Momentum Reduces Hesitation and Increases Drive
   As I get approaches in, so long as they don't go horribly wrong, I notice a slight decrease in approach anxiety and increases in general motivation in drive; that's even after the Game practice session is concluded.
   
   
4. Highly Determined
   Within reason - though I can be quite unreasonable at times
   This is not a question of "if" I get good at Game; it's simply a matter of when
   Going back to the AFC I used to be is not an option - period. However long it takes, whatever I must do, however difficult it may get, it WILL happen
   
   Either I'll succeed or I'll be dead
   • Quitting is not an option
   • Doing Game casually on the side is unacceptable
5. Approach Anxiety
   Sometimes I feel on top of the world and have none, most of the time it's crippling and I'm only as good as the average of my worst sets
   
   
6. In Set Fundamentals Suck
   When I don't have that "I'm The Fucking Boss" falling, my in-set fundamentals suck
   As I get into a set, my voice wavers and goes timid, and my frame breaks as I look for the slightest sign of displeasure or discomfort from the set
   
   It's easy to have the frame of being a savage, devil may cry PUA until you're actually in a set

What (I Think) I Need To Work On​

1. Approach (And In Set) Anxiety
   It's impossible to practice more advanced topics when you can barely get an approach in the first place
2. In Set Fundamentals
   Same as above; how are you supposed to get into more advanced topics when all you're thinking of is whether or not the set is uncomfortable and your voice sounds like a 5-year-old asking for permission to use the toilet

What I'm Doing Now​

1. Gym
   Every day for at least 40 min
   Very noticeable muscle growth
2. Diet
   Lost a lot of weight so far, I'm going to lose more
3. Guitar
   Learning to play guitar and sing. Originally just for girls but I find I actually enjoy it a lot
4. Therapy
   About once every two weeks. Really helping me sort some things out
   I'd like to give a special thank you to the U.S Tax Payers - Free full coverage health care for military rocks
5. Career
   Software engineer (likely switching to embedded systems), and most people who get to know me consider me to be intelligent and hyper conscientious
   Unfortunately, I have about 2 years left in the U.S Military but outside of that, I've got my professional and monetary life straight and figured out

Options Under Consideration​

Mass Approach For Approach/InSet Anxiety​

Is this the same as that "massive action" thing I've heard of?​

In order to get to grips with my social anxiety, for 1 month, every week (weekend actually) approach 10-20 women with one of the following canned lines. Follow up each line with a direct open along the lines of "You're cute, I wanted to meet you"

1. "Are you single"
2. "How's your day going
3. Genuine compliment

My thinking here is that this will act as a sort of exposure therapy and get me accustomed to directly opening women. I don't have to say anything after that

​

My concern is that frequent rejections, or a desire for progress, will result in me losing confidence and getting demotivated. Also, I'm afraid it won't work and at the end of it, I'll be where I was at the start.

A counter to this concern, are the many stories about men doing such similar things "300 approaches in a month" or "how I got rid of my approach anxiety by getting rejected 100 times"

Another counter is that I've been trying to learn Game for 6 months now and, despite all the shit I've been through, I'm still here, determined as ever

Buy A Course​

I purchase a course with already laid out assignments that gradually build on each other. I've heard many good things about Chases course and some other ones.

My main concern with this is that the course assignments won't be tailored to my needs or won't be enough
And no, paid coaching is not an option, that shit is expensive and the government does not pay me enough.

 

[pancakemouse]

Do mass approach.
Don't buy a course.
Don't do night game. Focus on daygame first.

Last I checked, supermarkets and malls didn't close directly after work. There are always places to do daygame, even at night.

 

[ulrich]

Stick to daygame if you're looking for "quality" girlfriends... go nightgame if you prefer fast lays... or a combination of both depending on your objectives.

I prefer to think of my baseline performance as my average instead of my bottomline.
There is a factor of luck that you can't predict nor control and perfectionism ist't your friend.

Approach anxiety never truly goes away but it becomes less and less debilitating... honestly the main factor is momentum so my advice is keep on approaching. Trust me, it gets easier every day as long as you don't stop.

Given your situation, I think the mass approach is a great idea.
You need to kill that anxiety.

Also you need to make a priority to move to a bigger city as soon as you can.

 

[LemurKing]

Stick to daygame if you're looking for "quality" girlfriends... go nightgame if you prefer fast lays... or a combination of both depending on your objectives.

I prefer to think of my baseline performance as my average instead of my bottomline.
There is a factor of luck that you can't predict nor control and perfectionism ist't your friend.

Approach anxiety never truly goes away but it becomes less and less debilitating... honestly the main factor is momentum so my advice is keep on approaching. Trust me, it gets easier every day as long as you don't stop.

Given your situation, I think the mass approach is a great idea.
You need to kill that anxiety.

Also you need to make a priority to move to a bigger city as soon as you can.

With mass approaching, would you recommend sticking to just a few canned lines, saying whatever so long as it's direct, or is there something other I should be saying that helps advance my Game?

My thinking is that I should keep what I say simple and direct to avoid adding to what is the already difficult task of approaching.

 

[sab]

Great advice. Go for it man. Say Hi and go from there.

 

[pancakemouse]

With mass approaching, would you recommend sticking to just a few canned lines, saying whatever so long as it's direct, or is there something other I should be saying that helps advance my Game?

My thinking is that I should keep what I say simple and direct to avoid adding to what is the already difficult task of approaching.

I use 70% canned openers, 30% situational openers.

I approach about 30 girls a day.

 

[ulrich]

With mass approaching, would you recommend sticking to just a few canned lines, saying whatever so long as it's direct, or is there something other I should be saying that helps advance my Game?

My thinking is that I should keep what I say simple and direct to avoid adding to what is the already difficult task of approaching.

I personally prefer doing indirect when possible, it comes off as more socially saavy and makes interactions feel less stressful.

However, it’s not always easy to come off with relevant things on the fly so I keep a couple of canned direct openers as insurance.

Field test what openers work for you and don’t confuse “going direct” with doing uncalibrated shit that forces girls to make decisions on the spot.

This is the one canned opener that I use the most:
Hey I just saw you pass and I just had to tell you, you have a killer style. I really like what you did with CLOTHING and ACCESORY.

 

[Toby2030]

Approach (And In Set) Anxiety
It's impossible to practice more advanced topics when you can barely get an approach in the first place

Your idea of 20 approaches a week seems like the best option. At first, it will seem like a lot but with time it will be come easier and easier. I wouldn't focus so much on making shit indirect as the guys mentions - that's only stuff that will put you even more in your head from the start. Focus on your biggest sticking point, and use time on the rest later on. A lot of guys have a fear of showing interest and being sexual, going direct will help with fixing this problem as well (not sure you have it but very often seen).

20 approaches a week. Go direct until you feel like your AA isn't the biggest problem anymore and that just opening isn't the biggest problem anymore. When you feel like you can open without any problem,you can consider, moving to indrect types of openers.

Another goal you should implement is breaking down your approaches in the FR section on this site. It will first of all, give you room to evaluate how you did and what to do better next + you will get the opportunity for more experienced guys to give you feedback and push your learning progress.

Always consider in which transition phase you are losing the most girls. https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-master-transition-phases-and-be-smooth-women
Then ask yourself which advice, tactic or technique that can overcome the problem + how you can implement it so it becomes actionable in field.

I'm looking forward to your first FR.

 

[LemurKing]

Your idea of 20 approaches a week seems like the best option. At first, it will seem like a lot but with time it will be come easier and easier. I wouldn't focus so much on making shit indirect as the guys mentions - that's only stuff that will put you even more in your head from the start. Focus on your biggest sticking point, and use time on the rest later on. A lot of guys have a fear of showing interest and being sexual, going direct will help with fixing this problem as well (not sure you have it but very often seen).

20 approaches a week. Go direct until you feel like your AA isn't the biggest problem anymore and that just opening isn't the biggest problem anymore. When you feel like you can open without any problem,you can consider, moving to indrect types of openers.

Another goal you should implement is breaking down your approaches in the FR section on this site. It will first of all, give you room to evaluate how you did and what to do better next + you will get the opportunity for more experienced guys to give you feedback and push your learning progress.

Always consider in which transition phase you are losing the most girls. https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-master-transition-phases-and-be-smooth-women
Then ask yourself which advice, tactic or technique that can overcome the problem + how you can implement it so it becomes actionable in field.

I'm looking forward to your first FR.

Really love the "Transition Phase" article. My biggest fear after getting control over approach anxiety is what to work on next. That's why I was considering purchasing a course

If this were any other discipline, I'd just stick to the lesson plan but Game seems different. It looks like you have to CONSTANTLY, like ALWAYS, be re-evaluating where you are and what your sticking points are and pivoting

Also, yesterday, Wednesday, December 29th 2021, went out and got 7 approaches in the span of 1.5h. The first was soo difficult but after that, it was mostly smooth sailing. I think it's a combination of momentum from yesterday's approaches (did a few yesterdays that sucked) and a realization that there's no way out of it (I'm going out whether I want to or not).

 

[pancakemouse]

7 approaches in an hour and a half is fantastic! I do about five approaches an hour here in Miami.

 

[LemurKing]

oaches in an hour and a half is fantastic! I do about five approaches an hour here in Miami

7 approaches in an hour and a half is fantastic! I do about five approaches an hour here in Miami.

Wow, looks like I'm not as far back as I thought
.

 

[Train]

7 approaches in an hour and a half is fantastic! I do about five approaches an hour here in Miami.

Just for context (for myself and readers), is this high-traffic venues at peak times (i.e. daytime shopping areas?)

I've done similar but only in college campuses.

 

[LemurKing]

Just for context (for myself and readers), is this high-traffic venues at peak times (i.e. daytime shopping areas?)

I've done similar but only in college campuses.

No, it was a Target and TJMax in a mid sized community around the downtown area at 6PM on a Wednesday. Was pretty empty

 

[pancakemouse]

Just for context (for myself and readers), is this high-traffic venues at peak times (i.e. daytime shopping areas?)

I've done similar but only in college campuses.

High-traffic at peak times, yes. But I'm picky. Other guys I know do 10 sets/hr at the same place in Miami I game.