Her pleasure or mine

Danny

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2016
Messages
46
Hey everyone I just read No More Mr.Nice Guy And I realized I am still struggling with some nice guy traits the most important of which is focusing too much on my girlfriends pleasure. Our sex life has taken a hit and I think part of it is me trying out chases techniques too literally and focusing so much on rhythm that it becomes boring and I don't take charge. On the other hand, when I focus on my pleasure I finish and we are done and goes against chase article on sexual pride of pleasuring girls. How do I figure out how much to devote to my pleasure and her pleasure how do I make sex natural and mutually beneficial because right now our sex sessions are her trying to finish and is stopping or the other time where I finish and we stop. Thanks everyone
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,553
Danny,

A rough idea on your sexual history will help though. Like how you get together and the sex. Basically, the momentum from starting until now.

or

Communication. :) If she's selfish. Chop her head off. :p

Zac
 

Danny

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 14, 2016
Messages
46
We started out having really good sex but she said she can only finish on top so I started implementing techniques like crazy and focused so much on pleasing her that I lost the notional prt of sex and was anxiety ridden of helping her finish and it didn't work so I focused on my own and that still didn't work. She's pretty inexperienced and so am I and she has a weird idea of making sex a means to an end with one of us finishing
 

Marcellus

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
297
Danny,

I was just reading the Alabaster Girl and this came up.

The greatest lovers please only themselves in bed. (Again, goes back to objective and subjective reality)…There are three stages in the sexual experience of a man. In stage one, he is a little lost in bed… Later in life, if he has paid attention and has a desire to learn, he eventually moves on to stage two. He is now considered to be “good in bed.”… The best lovers are the ones who did their time in stage one, then moved on to stage two, spending years punching that particular time-clock, and now have moved on to stage three. This is a stage very few men will ever attain, but when one does, it is remarkable indeed! A man in stage three pleases himself, not her. For he has come to the profound realization that by pleasing himself, he is ultimately pleasing her.

I'm not sure wether this helps or not but I thought it was pretty cool, you're in stage two and it's mostly about pleasing her at the moment. Keep working at it and you'll reach stage three and become the ultimate lover.

Marcellus
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,553
Danny,

Danny said:
We started out having really good sex but she said she can only finish on top so I started implementing techniques like crazy and focused so much on pleasing her that I lost the notional prt of sex and was anxiety ridden of helping her finish and it didn't work so I focused on my own and that still didn't work. She's pretty inexperienced and so am I and she has a weird idea of making sex a means to an end with one of us finishing

I think some music will help. But to think about it, she's inexperienced but she is glad that only she is pleased? Hmm.... kind of selfish. I am not sure if talking will helps but if you talk to her and she is adamant about herself, i guess a breakup is inevitable, unless i explain more ugly things which i prefer not to.

Zac
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,465
Location
NYC
Danny said:
most important of which is focusing too much on my girlfriends pleasure.
I think most very experienced men focus on their own pleasure when fucking, because they also know that their own pleasure = the girl's pleasure.
 
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