How Does One Deal with Naysayers?

mmamegadethfan

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
40
Hey guys,

One thing I have come across is a few people in my life that have a negative view of pickup/game, and say negative stuff about it like "douchebag" or "sleazy". I think it's total bullshit and it honestly pisses me off and gets a little under my skin.

After all, all we are trying to do is live the best way we can right? This is a very positive thing in my view. I believe you can be an outstanding human being and have all the skills of a PUA.

Should we just try to cut these people out of our lives? My therapist is actually a really nice/great guy, but maybe I just shouldn't share this part of my life with him and/or other people that view game negatively (like one cousin of mine).

With all this in mind, I am really glad we have this forum so we can be around like minded people that want to get a positive edge in life.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Yeah man its kind of something you want to keep on wraps to "normal" people. At the very most you just say it like a natural. "Ah yeah if I see a cute girl I just can't help but go talk to her" if anyone asks in person. There's definitely no reason to ever talk about it with girls. As for guys if they see you approach and are like damn I wish I could do that you can gently introduce the topic. But even then most guys don't actually want to learn it seriously its just something they wish they had the ability to do.

Its great you've found the forums then. Talk all you want about it here! No judgement, just support. When you have this "Secret" thing you do sometimes you just want to get it out of your system, especially when your just discovering how awesome and cool it is.

So do all that here! No reason to go talking about it to everyone in your life. They're just going to think you've gone off the deep end if you do it wrong. It can even hurt relationships in circumstances where people think what you're doing is evil or wrong. So best to just learn to be a cool guy with good social skills, and if anyone asks well "eh I just go talk to pretty girls if I see one I like".

Welcome aboard man ;0
 

mmamegadethfan

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
40
Yeah man its kind of something you want to keep on wraps to "normal" people. At the very most you just say it like a natural. "Ah yeah if I see a cute girl I just can't help but go talk to her" if anyone asks in person. There's definitely no reason to ever talk about it with girls. As for guys if they see you approach and are like damn I wish I could do that you can gently introduce the topic. But even then most guys don't actually want to learn it seriously its just something they wish they had the ability to do.

Its great you've found the forums then. Talk all you want about it here! No judgement, just support. When you have this "Secret" thing you do sometimes you just want to get it out of your system, especially when your just discovering how awesome and cool it is.

So do all that here! No reason to go talking about it to everyone in your life. They're just going to think you've gone off the deep end if you do it wrong. It can even hurt relationships in circumstances where people think what you're doing is evil or wrong. So best to just learn to be a cool guy with good social skills, and if anyone asks well "eh I just go talk to pretty girls if I see one I like".

Welcome aboard man ;0

Thanks man, those are encouraging words! I'm glad to have found the forums. Awesome to have a community of people that can help each other out through this medium
 

Pitcher

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
123
Location
North Carolina, USA
Zan Perrion says this in the Alabaster Girl:
Seduction is not manipulation. It is not base trickery or uncouth deceit. It has nothing to do with getting you to do what you don’t want to do. It allows you to do what you already want to do. It smooths the path, picks up the stones, lays down a cloak before you in the mud.

The more you get to know women, the more you realize that they have desires that they have to suppress because of societal/community/family judgement and self-shame. As seducers, we are placing the cloak over the mud, which allows people to fully express themselves and enjoy doing so.

When I first started my journey in PUA/seduction/becoming more outgoing + charismatic, a lot of people I knew hated on me for it. People don’t like change, especially when a person they know starts bettering themselves and it threatens their fragile ego. Some of the hating is called for, at least it was in my case. I was doing things in an incongruent way. I was acting like a seducer without fully being a seducer. But often times you have to fake it before you make it as the cliche goes.

When it started being more of a way of life and who I am, I began getting less and less shit for it. And by way of life I don’t mean that my sole focus became picking up girls. I mean that every interaction with another person became a dance where I could choose to be charismatic/outgoing/mystery/seductive/lively. Sharpening my social sword to connect better with others, forge deeper relationships, and enjoy life more. Still an ongoing process, but one I find worthwhile.

Who can hate on that?
 

mmamegadethfan

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
40
Zan Perrion says this in the Alabaster Girl:


The more you get to know women, the more you realize that they have desires that they have to suppress because of societal/community/family judgement and self-shame. As seducers, we are placing the cloak over the mud, which allows people to fully express themselves and enjoy doing so.

When I first started my journey in PUA/seduction/becoming more outgoing + charismatic, a lot of people I knew hated on me for it. People don’t like change, especially when a person they know starts bettering themselves and it threatens their fragile ego. Some of the hating is called for, at least it was in my case. I was doing things in an incongruent way. I was acting like a seducer without fully being a seducer. But often times you have to fake it before you make it as the cliche goes.

When it started being more of a way of life and who I am, I began getting less and less shit for it. And by way of life I don’t mean that my sole focus became picking up girls. I mean that every interaction with another person became a dance where I could choose to be charismatic/outgoing/mystery/seductive/lively. Sharpening my social sword to connect better with others, forge deeper relationships, and enjoy life more. Still an ongoing process, but one I find worthwhile.

Who can hate on that?

I think you are 100 percent correct. For me too, my goal is not just girls, but also the attainment of charisma which will help in all walks of life. I'm looking forward to get out there and take some steps. I recently read one of the emails from Chase where he mentions that the best way to get an abundance of choices for one's dating life is to do some cold approach. I get the feeling that the skillset of cold approaching is invaluable, even though it may be hard to hone. I look forward to hearing from the rest of the guys here on their journeys so we can all help each other
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
576
Hey guys,

One thing I have come across is a few people in my life that have a negative view of pickup/game, and say negative stuff about it like "douchebag" or "sleazy". I think it's total bullshit and it honestly pisses me off and gets a little under my skin.

After all, all we are trying to do is live the best way we can right? This is a very positive thing in my view. I believe you can be an outstanding human being and have all the skills of a PUA.

Should we just try to cut these people out of our lives? My therapist is actually a really nice/great guy, but maybe I just shouldn't share this part of my life with him and/or other people that view game negatively (like one cousin of mine).

With all this in mind, I am really glad we have this forum so we can be around like minded people that want to get a positive edge in life.

You will have haters no matter what you excel at. Often this takes the form of framing oneself as morally superior or using "concern troll" tactics.

Also you will never get acceptance from most people other than other PUAs for doing PU.

I generally just don't talk about such things with outsiders. And if somebody is hating on me I just cut them out if they aren't close familiy etc.

I dunno about your therapist. More details? Generally I would not tolerate moralization from doctors or psychologists, it is a violation of their role and can actually prevent people from seeking help.
 

mmamegadethfan

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
40
You will have haters no matter what you excel at. Often this takes the form of framing oneself as morally superior or using "concern troll" tactics.

Also you will never get acceptance from most people other than other PUAs for doing PU.

I generally just don't talk about such things with outsiders. And if somebody is hating on me I just cut them out if they aren't close familiy etc.

I dunno about your therapist. More details? Generally I would not tolerate moralization from doctors or psychologists, it is a violation of their role and can actually prevent people from seeking help.

I have been seeing my therapist for about a year and a half. He is a good man, and he says he is on board to work with me on my journey to improve myself. I am thinking instead of cutting him out, I only share part of my story/development with him. For example, he is an ex wrestler and I love mixed martial arts/boxing, so I can focus our future sessions on physical fitness/accomplishing gym goals.

In terms of self improvement, what he mentioned is to "be careful" doing pickup type stuff where I know the people/community, but I wasn't going to do cold approach there (like at the gym) anyway. He recommended apps like match and bumble to meet girls but like Chase mentioned in one of his emails, you might not get the kind of girls you want by limiting oneself to those dating apps. Instead, getting good at cold approach will open options.

So, I am thinking ignore his comments/opinion on pickup and keep pursuing it, and if I share anything related to this with him, it will be about general improvement of social life/people skills
 

Carousel

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
576
In terms of self improvement, what he mentioned is to "be careful" doing pickup type stuff where I know the people/community, but I wasn't going to do cold approach there (like at the gym) anyway. He recommended apps like match and bumble to meet girls but like Chase mentioned in one of his emails, you might not get the kind of girls you want by limiting oneself to those dating apps. Instead, getting good at cold approach will open options.

Haha, nothing wrong with your therapist. In fact, you would get the same advice from any advanced guy, doing PU where you spend a lot of time is usually a bad idea. If you screw up everybody will know and if you succeed you may have clingy girls around. Neither are fun. In fact we have even had problems with this in nightgame - going for the club regulars will often create drama if this is a place you frequent often.
 

Cody Lyans

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
140
I would say the following "do you like music" they will say yes "do you like rock" they might say yes "do you like classical" they might say yes and then I'd ask if they like something I know they don't like "do you like jazz?"

"OK so you like music but you don't like jazz... But I thought you said you like music, doesn't that mean all music"

They will explain like, yeah but I like most music
"so you listen to what you like best yeah, and don't listen to what you don't."

They agree, and you say, it's the same with everything man, I dunno what you have heard about what u think pu is and honestly I don't care, but if you think all music is jazz and I am listening to rock, whyyyyy would I listen to you shitting on music as a whole, that makes no sense.

Then set a hard boundary
All you want is to stand up for your view, get benefit of the doubt, and get them to leave you be
This is just one way to do it

Also, your therapist should know better than to be an a hole about your interests, right move from him is to look into it, ask questions and be open. Therapy is not about some opinion, they should know better
 
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mmamegadethfan

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
40
I would say the following "do you like music" they will say yes "do you like rock" they might say yes "do you like classical" they might say yes and then I'd ask if they like something I know they don't like "do you like jazz?"

"OK so you like music but you don't like jazz... But I thought you said you like music, doesn't that mean all music"

They will explain like, yeah but I like most music
"so you listen to what you like best yeah, and don't listen to what you don't."

They agree, and you say, it's the same with everything man, I dunno what you have heard about what u think pu is and honestly I don't care, but if you think all music is jazz and I am listening to rock, whyyyyy would I listen to you shitting on music as a whole, that makes no sense.

Then set a hard boundary
All you want is to stand up for your view, get benefit of the doubt, and get them to leave you be
This is just one way to do it

Also, your therapist should know better than to be an a hole about your interests, right move from him is to look into it, ask questions and be open. Therapy is not about some opinion, they should know better

Yea man I agree with you about my therapist. I don't know what I will do just yet but I will see if I can connect with him better next time which will be next week. If not I will keep it going a few weeks and maybe slowly switch or stop seeing a therapist for a while. I think I'll be ok. Thanks for the advice
 

Watts

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 23, 2019
Messages
157
Should we just try to cut these people out of our lives? My therapist is actually a really nice/great guy, but maybe I just shouldn't share this part of my life with him and/or other people that view game negatively (like one cousin of mine).

Freud said the highest goal of therapy is to teach the patient to love and to work. They can't complain if you're earnestly seeking the former, which happens to require women want to enter into relationships with you. And no one said monogamy needs to be the ideal, or that it needs to be the goal from the start (as opposed to casual phrases).

Also not sure what school of thought your therapist is from, but Albert Ellis the guy who created REBT (very similar to CBT), and who was also honored by Obama with a lifetime achievement award for his contribution to psychology... did mass pickup of women to get over his shyness, essentially exposure therapy very early in his career (and also dated many of his students once therapy concluded, as well as married a woman 40 years his junior! haha).

"I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public."

And to address what you said about the therapist suggesting online game, and not developing a rep where you go a lot (and to add and agree with @Carousel), that's socially conscious blue pill advice, which there is nothing wrong with and which has elements even an advanced guy will agree with such as pumping the breaks in a place you want to frequent and not burning every set to the ground (many people screw this up and also give pickup a bad name). There is a corollary, which I strongly subscribe to if I have a period of time off of game, which is to drive out to a place 30 minutes to 1 hour away and game like it's your last night on earth. Essentially "out of town" game. You may also want to find some places near you that you can do that as well.

Edit: And, if someone calls out pickup as sleezy or whatever, ask them if they think "love is love". I mean, does "love is love" apply to heterosexual, penis in vagina baby making sex or just when a guy wants to bang another guy in the butt! lol

(nothing against or any judgement towards gay people or the acts, but the point is expose liberal bias, particularly the feminist sour grapes where they are really just mad you don't agree to their terms of sex and dating, and are trying to shame you to enforce them!)
 
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