- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
- Messages
- 346
So, I just wound up back in touch with this Caribbean girl from 3 years back who I might get out for a coffee. Only, the logistics are tricky, between her being married (but no kids afaik), and her and my work and home locations and transportation. Depending on variables I don't know on her end, things could either be fairly conducive to a seduction, or not at all. I don't want to set up a date that is going to wind up nowhere due to logistics, so I'm looking for a way to feel these out without outing either myself or us.
I'm going to use fictitious city names as follows: I live in Boobyville, and she works in the urbanized business district of Cauldrontown, both of which are suburb municipalities of the same metropolis. She lives outside of the metropolis proper, in Littleton, which is actually a fairly quick drive to Boobyville if the freeway is clear.
[Those in a hurry can somewhat safely skip the backstory.]
Backstory
We met at one of the events I'm sometimes involved with. She was there with a girlfriend (nah, it's not yet another lesbian, lol). I fucked up my initial approach in an utterly silly but carefree way, and got rejected, though not harshly. I blew off the rejection with such cocky yet suave style that I turned it right around, reached the social hook point harder and more effortlessly than I usually do even these days, and actually had the girl text me the next morning before I even wrote her - one of the very few times that's happened. I had nicknamed her before I even knew her real name, and had flirty banter, albeit nothing strongly sexual, that she bought right into.
It so turns out she was married, but much the opposite of put it in my face, she would actually avoid making reference to her husband, even in contexts where it would have been normal to do so. She tacitly resisted connecting on social media, but fortunately I took the hint and didn't press for it, and took this to mean I was probably witnessing something first hand I'd only read or heard about before!
(The irony is, I was actually remarkably inexperienced. I would put that to some combination of beginner's luck, having some confidence due to connections with the event's organizers, and a mental model that, while still substantially flawed, was a lot better than that of your AFC. And maybe genetic compatibility.)
I soon after got her on a coffee date close to her work after she got off. She didn't know I live in Boobyville, but when she found out, she said we could have met there. I think we sat around a good 2h. Eventually, she remarked on how late it was, and we mutually decided we should end the coffee. She asked what I was doing after. She also mentioned having to drop something off to a friend in Boobyville. I now think this was a huge escalation window, but alas, at that time, I had no idea that women are more often than not willing to go home with and sleep with a guy on the first date!
I did want her home, but my logistics were just shitty enough that I didn't want to venture it when I (stupidly) wasn't confident she was pullable just yet. So I said I had some shopping to do in Cauldrontown. Dumb, I know!
Although I knew to move fast, I didn't know to move faster! As such, my idea was more or less to try to get her on a fun/entertaining 2nd date, and then home either at the end of that or as a 3rd date. Of course, this sort of slow game was more suited to the provider role - which had already been good and filled. So, not surprisingly, this plan was not met with enthusiasm on her part and wound up falling by the wayside. Perhaps due to the missed window, she suggested a couple friendzoney meet ideas, one of which I just let die because I knew it was bad, and the other I half-flaked on.
Things gradually petered out, but we didn't completely lose touch. She became one of those girls that I keep just closer than stranger. One of us will occasionally text the other out of nowhere and we'll trade like 5 to 20 messages and then it's silence for many months.
Once or twice when we reconnected, I tried to get her to meet up, but this was before reading anything on GC, so my efforts were misguided, with fun/entertaining ideas that of course did not end up happening.
Smarter Now, but Tricky Logistics
I decided to ping her the other day out of nowhere after 8 months of silence. We traded a few messages reconnecting and then I threw out the idea of a coffee meet. Much better idea! At first, she didn't answer, but just under two days later she wrote me back and was positive about the idea. Now comes the tricky part. I didn't set a specific day yet, partly because I want to get a good plan first.
Weekends are generally bad for her. The best opportunities she has to meet are usually after work. She works to 3pm but often does other stuff in the area until 4pm. But (last I knew anyway) she doesn't bring her car, she parks it at a train station in Littleton and takes the train in to work.
Now, I'm presently without vehicle. (I work from home, all necessities are a short walk away, I love to walk maniacal distances, I bike, gas prices are insane, and I've noticed all my car-owning friends are overweight, so it's never been a priority. Game is literally the only reason I'd think to get a vehicle. Alas, my permit is long expired, so I can't even rent... I should at least fix that, but it's a year-long procedure.) Which means that, when she's done work, neither of us have a vehicle, and she's 10mi/17km from me, as the crow flies. She can get to my area in 1h to 1h20m by transit.
By some curse, I don't actually have a coffee shop very close by. I've got a shawarma place right downstairs. The closest coffee shop is just a big chain coffee stand in the food court of the closest mall, a 1mi/1.5km walk away.
The food court could work, but I'm just slightly concerned that, on the odd chance she wasn't just making up the friend in Boobyville, there could be some chance of her getting caught by someone she knows, so I might be a little less inclined to get cozier with her there. Mind you, Boobyville isn't small, so this might not be a huge risk.
The shawarma place is more convenient: steps away from home, buses stop right at it, and it's a much smaller environment than the mall food court, so the chances of a girl getting caught are pretty slim unless she's from my immediate neighbourhood. But I prefer not eating, because it could tie us up longer, she may not feel like eating, and it's a bit of a bait-and-switch when the idea I presented was coffee. It's not much of a coffee place, either.
There's also a family-run diner place an 0.3mi/0.5km walk, and they do have coffee but the place is often busy and not very private, although the chances of the bulk of the people in there knowing her are pretty slim I'd say. But it seems strange going to a family diner for coffee when there are coffee shops all over the place. (Just not a very short walk from me, UGH!)
And then there's how the girl gets home. I'm a 1.4mi/2.2km walk from a station from which she can catch a train to rendezvous with her car in Littleton. But it's almost a mandatory walk, because the bus routes required to do it would be much more indirect (two buses totalling 2mi/3.2km, about a half-hour counting the two waits). The walk cuts through some small streets so I'd be best to walk her there.
My biggest concern is timing. She might not even get to my area until 4:30-5pm. So it could be 5:30pm before I even put out the idea of coming over, and 5:45pm before we get there, and she's going to be well aware of the added time required to get to a train station after. Ordinarily, I would consider this ok, but this girl is married, so I don't know what kind of time constraints she's operating under. It could be that she'll readily make up an excuse to get home as late as she feels like. Or it could be that she's expecting to just do a brief meet and then find her way straight home early enough to not arouse suspicion.
Another option would be to meet her near her work and then take an Uber to my home with her. That's about a half-hour drive maybe, but I'm not sure how long an Uber would take to show. And that still doesn't necessarily buy enough time if she had assumed it was just a short meet.
Ideally, she knows what this is about and is not going to schedule something that isn't going to work time-wise. Indeed, science says that she's quite likely to want sex with a man other than her husband, but she's not necessarily aware of this consciously, so I can't necessarily trust her to do the right thing and make sure we have plenty of time.
Thus my main question: is there some way I can screen for meet opportunities having enough time? I'm almost tempted to write her, "when do you have to be home on X?" Hahahaha, but that's a little too bait, no?! Or do I just go in blind on the pretence of meeting for coffee and hope she'll stretch the time as needed?
I'm going to use fictitious city names as follows: I live in Boobyville, and she works in the urbanized business district of Cauldrontown, both of which are suburb municipalities of the same metropolis. She lives outside of the metropolis proper, in Littleton, which is actually a fairly quick drive to Boobyville if the freeway is clear.
[Those in a hurry can somewhat safely skip the backstory.]
Backstory
We met at one of the events I'm sometimes involved with. She was there with a girlfriend (nah, it's not yet another lesbian, lol). I fucked up my initial approach in an utterly silly but carefree way, and got rejected, though not harshly. I blew off the rejection with such cocky yet suave style that I turned it right around, reached the social hook point harder and more effortlessly than I usually do even these days, and actually had the girl text me the next morning before I even wrote her - one of the very few times that's happened. I had nicknamed her before I even knew her real name, and had flirty banter, albeit nothing strongly sexual, that she bought right into.
It so turns out she was married, but much the opposite of put it in my face, she would actually avoid making reference to her husband, even in contexts where it would have been normal to do so. She tacitly resisted connecting on social media, but fortunately I took the hint and didn't press for it, and took this to mean I was probably witnessing something first hand I'd only read or heard about before!
(The irony is, I was actually remarkably inexperienced. I would put that to some combination of beginner's luck, having some confidence due to connections with the event's organizers, and a mental model that, while still substantially flawed, was a lot better than that of your AFC. And maybe genetic compatibility.)
I soon after got her on a coffee date close to her work after she got off. She didn't know I live in Boobyville, but when she found out, she said we could have met there. I think we sat around a good 2h. Eventually, she remarked on how late it was, and we mutually decided we should end the coffee. She asked what I was doing after. She also mentioned having to drop something off to a friend in Boobyville. I now think this was a huge escalation window, but alas, at that time, I had no idea that women are more often than not willing to go home with and sleep with a guy on the first date!
I did want her home, but my logistics were just shitty enough that I didn't want to venture it when I (stupidly) wasn't confident she was pullable just yet. So I said I had some shopping to do in Cauldrontown. Dumb, I know!
Although I knew to move fast, I didn't know to move faster! As such, my idea was more or less to try to get her on a fun/entertaining 2nd date, and then home either at the end of that or as a 3rd date. Of course, this sort of slow game was more suited to the provider role - which had already been good and filled. So, not surprisingly, this plan was not met with enthusiasm on her part and wound up falling by the wayside. Perhaps due to the missed window, she suggested a couple friendzoney meet ideas, one of which I just let die because I knew it was bad, and the other I half-flaked on.
Things gradually petered out, but we didn't completely lose touch. She became one of those girls that I keep just closer than stranger. One of us will occasionally text the other out of nowhere and we'll trade like 5 to 20 messages and then it's silence for many months.
Once or twice when we reconnected, I tried to get her to meet up, but this was before reading anything on GC, so my efforts were misguided, with fun/entertaining ideas that of course did not end up happening.
Smarter Now, but Tricky Logistics
I decided to ping her the other day out of nowhere after 8 months of silence. We traded a few messages reconnecting and then I threw out the idea of a coffee meet. Much better idea! At first, she didn't answer, but just under two days later she wrote me back and was positive about the idea. Now comes the tricky part. I didn't set a specific day yet, partly because I want to get a good plan first.
Weekends are generally bad for her. The best opportunities she has to meet are usually after work. She works to 3pm but often does other stuff in the area until 4pm. But (last I knew anyway) she doesn't bring her car, she parks it at a train station in Littleton and takes the train in to work.
Now, I'm presently without vehicle. (I work from home, all necessities are a short walk away, I love to walk maniacal distances, I bike, gas prices are insane, and I've noticed all my car-owning friends are overweight, so it's never been a priority. Game is literally the only reason I'd think to get a vehicle. Alas, my permit is long expired, so I can't even rent... I should at least fix that, but it's a year-long procedure.) Which means that, when she's done work, neither of us have a vehicle, and she's 10mi/17km from me, as the crow flies. She can get to my area in 1h to 1h20m by transit.
By some curse, I don't actually have a coffee shop very close by. I've got a shawarma place right downstairs. The closest coffee shop is just a big chain coffee stand in the food court of the closest mall, a 1mi/1.5km walk away.
The food court could work, but I'm just slightly concerned that, on the odd chance she wasn't just making up the friend in Boobyville, there could be some chance of her getting caught by someone she knows, so I might be a little less inclined to get cozier with her there. Mind you, Boobyville isn't small, so this might not be a huge risk.
The shawarma place is more convenient: steps away from home, buses stop right at it, and it's a much smaller environment than the mall food court, so the chances of a girl getting caught are pretty slim unless she's from my immediate neighbourhood. But I prefer not eating, because it could tie us up longer, she may not feel like eating, and it's a bit of a bait-and-switch when the idea I presented was coffee. It's not much of a coffee place, either.
There's also a family-run diner place an 0.3mi/0.5km walk, and they do have coffee but the place is often busy and not very private, although the chances of the bulk of the people in there knowing her are pretty slim I'd say. But it seems strange going to a family diner for coffee when there are coffee shops all over the place. (Just not a very short walk from me, UGH!)
And then there's how the girl gets home. I'm a 1.4mi/2.2km walk from a station from which she can catch a train to rendezvous with her car in Littleton. But it's almost a mandatory walk, because the bus routes required to do it would be much more indirect (two buses totalling 2mi/3.2km, about a half-hour counting the two waits). The walk cuts through some small streets so I'd be best to walk her there.
My biggest concern is timing. She might not even get to my area until 4:30-5pm. So it could be 5:30pm before I even put out the idea of coming over, and 5:45pm before we get there, and she's going to be well aware of the added time required to get to a train station after. Ordinarily, I would consider this ok, but this girl is married, so I don't know what kind of time constraints she's operating under. It could be that she'll readily make up an excuse to get home as late as she feels like. Or it could be that she's expecting to just do a brief meet and then find her way straight home early enough to not arouse suspicion.
Another option would be to meet her near her work and then take an Uber to my home with her. That's about a half-hour drive maybe, but I'm not sure how long an Uber would take to show. And that still doesn't necessarily buy enough time if she had assumed it was just a short meet.
Ideally, she knows what this is about and is not going to schedule something that isn't going to work time-wise. Indeed, science says that she's quite likely to want sex with a man other than her husband, but she's not necessarily aware of this consciously, so I can't necessarily trust her to do the right thing and make sure we have plenty of time.
Thus my main question: is there some way I can screen for meet opportunities having enough time? I'm almost tempted to write her, "when do you have to be home on X?" Hahahaha, but that's a little too bait, no?! Or do I just go in blind on the pretence of meeting for coffee and hope she'll stretch the time as needed?
