"how tall are you?"

[Poseidon]

Hi guys,
I've been giving online dating a shot, tinder in particular, and have had several girls ask me this. At first I thought why lie? and just treated like it was nothing and said the truth. Problem is I'm only 5'8''. So 9 girls out of 10 who asked that unmatched me as soon as I answered.
Obviously not the right thing to do. Any pointers?

PS: I never reply "the right height" or "I'm tall enough". I think those are really lame answers.

 

[Sandman]

I say "hmm I feel like a piece of meat when girls ask this question but I'll answer you it's ...."

or "it's ...., why? did you date a midget before me "

They probably unmatched because you were qualifying yourself. This makes them the superior party, death of attraction. Well I qualify myself as well but my attitude is this is such a silly question but I'll humor you.

Nothing wrong with your height btw

 

[foggy]

I am 16 hot dogs long

I have trouble fitting in a smart car

 

[Poseidon]

They probably unmatched because you were qualifying yourself.

You really think so? It didn't feel like I was qualifying myself. I usually replied something like, "Why? That's a weird question haha. Anyway I'm 5'8''" and tried as best I could to treat it as nonrelevant. And you don't want to get defensive either: I've seen some guys get really mad at girls for this.
Anyhow I find girls on tinder very, very focused on looks and height. Girls I'd have a pretty decent shot with just shut me down. Also, I refuse to use fancy openers and just open with "Hi, what's up?"... which too often gets me no answer. I should forget about tinder and just go out.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Lie about your height and say that you're 6 feet. Wear some nice boots and or insoles that will make you 5'10 on the date. Problem solved haha. Best believe you were not rejected because you qualified yourself. Online is survival of the fittest. A girl won't think twice about ditching a guy if he doesn't measure up since there are thousands more to take his place.

 

[Sandman]

They probably unmatched because you were qualifying yourself.

You really think so? It didn't feel like I was qualifying myself. I usually replied something like, "Why? That's a weird question haha. Anyway I'm 5'8''" and tried as best I could to treat it as nonrelevant. And you don't want to get defensive either: I've seen some guys get really mad at girls for this.
Anyhow I find girls on tinder very, very focused on looks and height. Girls I'd have a pretty decent shot with just shut me down. Also, I refuse to use fancy openers and just open with "Hi, what's up?"... which too often gets me no answer. I should forget about tinder and just go out.

I open with the same thing and I get laid on tinder a lot. The problem isn't openings it's the pics but I agree that going out is more beneficial overal so tinder shouldn't hold you back from going out.

I am the same height maybe just maybe a few inches more, that is never a pretty question but the answers I gave usually gets me the date so try it out, if it doesn't work for you try the other answers problemsolving and songbird fog gave. Hopefully one of them will be a good fit for you.

 

[HereNthere]

My problem with online dating is most require your age. I'm in my late 30s but look ten years younger (I was a shut in growing up never going outside and getting sun much, didn't get my first tan until I was 20!) so I can get away with it when meeting girls in person. In person, not much problem approaching girls in their mid to late 20s. Online? My age is usually an instant disqualifier. Most of the time they'll never even see my profile because they have their age range settings automatically filter me out.

Any solution for that? I'm usually loathe to outright lying (I prefer lying by omission) but the nature of automatic filters online seems to be forcing it. Plus if I ever meet a girl I want to see regularly, it would be super awkward when she eventually found out my real age.

 

[Poseidon]

Well, I agree with you, ProblemSolving, in that it's survival of the fittest. I'd never wear lifts though!
And Sandman, yeah it's the pics. Maybe you're model handsome! Anyway this is what I told her: "Can't remember the last time I got measured, but if it's that important I can check when I get home. Actually why don't you measure me yourself?" to which she replied: "Yeaaah let's do that "...
Guess I did ok this time but height is definitely a problem for me. I sometimes get quite insecure, although I've bedded a few girls who were taller.

Herenthere, guess you'll have to find girls who like older guys, and there are plenty of those. I think the app lets you hide your age, why not do that? If you look younger as you say, they're not likely to ask your age. Then once you're talking with them and develop a strong connection, I doubt your age will be an issue (unless they want to get married...)

 

[Sandman]

And Sandman, yeah it's the pics. Maybe you're model handsome!

I'm handsome but not model handsome I just got some pictures done with a professional camera by a high school photographer, he's pretty good though haha I recommend you do the same

 

[ProblemSolving]

Being 6 feet tall, I've never had to lie about my height, but I would definitely do it if I was below 6 feet. Having said that, not very many girls have asked about my height. It's usually not a good sign if a girl is asking you this because it means she is already trying to find a reason to screen you out. I would guess that you would have fewer girls asking about your height if your pics were better.

My problem with online dating is most require your age. I'm in my late 30s but look ten years younger (I was a shut in growing up never going outside and getting sun much, didn't get my first tan until I was 20!) so I can get away with it when meeting girls in person.

Lie about your age all day. I do the same thing. It only matters how old you LOOK. If you tell them your real age, you'll still probably get laid, but you'll be screened out of boyfriend contention, which means you'll be a pump and dump. When you lie about your age, you'll have much higher odds of retaining girls, and after a month of seeing them, they won't give a shit about your age anyway.

 

[strictlyincreasing]

I don't know what the correct answer is, but DO NOT answer this question. At all costs. I had one who was super excited to meet me (even once sent me the old "I have no plans tonight...what are you up to?") but then asked my height with the excuse of whether she'd wear heels or not during our date. On the day of the date, she asked and I said "no need to wear heels at this informal bar" but she persisted and I told her. Inflated my height by 2 inches and I turned out to be 5 inches taller than her. Date was canceled and then she went silent within 2 hours. Yet, in person there would be no problem. What's the difference to her between 5 inches taller and 10 inches taller?

Just avoid it. I even had one say "I only find jerks and short people" and ignored it outright, continuing with the conversation as usual. Obviously, don't prioritize the ones who discuss height on your dating rotation, if you can get a date with them at all.

 

[Sandman]

So weird girls ask this question outright haha imagine us asking their bra size... well I actually did a few times for experimentation lol and they answered! but I didn't get the date shallow bitches haha

 

[HereNthere]

I'm 6'2" and I make damn sure to state that right at the beginning on my profile. For a while, my Tinder profile text was nothing but my height!

I also found it weird since it felt like up front declaring your bra size or dick measurements.

 

[Regal Tiger]

I am 16 hot dogs long

I have trouble fitting in a smart car

Haha came on here to say that this is a shit test and you should answer with something absurd. Songbird knocks it out of the park

Women who are interested but just doing this on impulse will let it go. But the ones who hound you about it aren't talking to you because they're attracted to you, they have an agenda.

 

[Regal Tiger]

My problem with online dating is most require your age. I'm in my late 30s but look ten years younger (I was a shut in growing up never going outside and getting sun much, didn't get my first tan until I was 20!) so I can get away with it when meeting girls in person. In person, not much problem approaching girls in their mid to late 20s. Online? My age is usually an instant disqualifier. Most of the time they'll never even see my profile because they have their age range settings automatically filter me out.

Any solution for that? I'm usually loathe to outright lying (I prefer lying by omission) but the nature of automatic filters online seems to be forcing it. Plus if I ever meet a girl I want to see regularly, it would be super awkward when she eventually found out my real age.

Change your age on the Facebook/Tinder profile and then put in your bio that you aren't actually blank years old at the very end. If it's a true disqualifier then people will unmatch you for it but most women aren't going to actually give a shit.

Well, I agree with you, ProblemSolving, in that it's survival of the fittest. I'd never wear lifts though!
And Sandman, yeah it's the pics. Maybe you're model handsome! Anyway this is what I told her: "Can't remember the last time I got measured, but if it's that important I can check when I get home. Actually why don't you measure me yourself?" to which she replied: "Yeaaah let's do that "...
Guess I did ok this time but height is definitely a problem for me. I sometimes get quite insecure, although I've bedded a few girls who were taller.

Herenthere, guess you'll have to find girls who like older guys, and there are plenty of those. I think the app lets you hide your age, why not do that? If you look younger as you say, they're not likely to ask your age. Then once you're talking with them and develop a strong connection, I doubt your age will be an issue (unless they want to get married...)

I wouldn't do that simply because if you hide your age or hide anything on your profile women will see it as a red flag. "Oh, he has something he's insecure about and needs to hide".

 

[HereNthere]

Hmmm...I figured "oh by the way I'm actually 10 years older than what my profile says I just lied to bypass your preferences" would be an instant rejection. There's a big difference between a girl who's met you, spent time with you, is into you, and will let slide when she finds out you're a lot older than she thought, and a girl who's looked at a profile of you for 15 seconds.

I was going to try making a profile saying I'm a lot younger. If it's some chick I just want to bang, I never reveal the truth. If she seems long term quality, then right after we arrange a first date, I'll let slip "Oh by the way I'm actually X years old. My friend made this profile for me and decided to fib on my age, but I always tell the truth before we meet up! We still on? "

 

[Regal Tiger]

Hmmm...I figured "oh by the way I'm actually 10 years older than what my profile says I just lied to bypass your preferences" would be an instant rejection. There's a big difference between a girl who's met you, spent time with you, is into you, and will let slide when she finds out you're a lot older than she thought, and a girl who's looked at a profile of you for 15 seconds.

I was going to try making a profile saying I'm a lot younger. If it's some chick I just want to bang, I never reveal the truth. If she seems long term quality, then right after we arrange a first date, I'll let slip "Oh by the way I'm actually X years old. My friend made this profile for me and decided to fib on my age, but I always tell the truth before we meet up! We still on? "

Tinder messes up on age all of the time so it’s not seen as you lying. It’s you not understanding how to change your age back to what it really is. That’s why you just put it on your Tinder bio and when women ask you tell them. That way you say the truth but also bypass those filters. If they don’t ask then you simply don’t tell them (it’s on your bio which they will read before meeting up with you which means if they don’t ask then they don’t care).

Just don’t actually put your age on the bio, give them something to be curious: “not actually 25” as an example.