Socializing How to cut unenjoyable group topics

[Skater]

Last night I was out with some friends and we were talking to some girls. I wasn't in pickup mode as it were, due to my continuing relationship quandries. I was enjoying the vibe however just laughing, joking, teasing, etc. Gotta admit I do love female attention

We were in there for a solid hour or more until the girls got the brilliant idea of asking who we voted for in the 2024 American election. Now this is kinda funny to me since a year ago my girlfriend asked me the same thing when I met her at the bar as one of the first things she said to me. And the girl I had met at that same bar a few weeks before. In both cases I replied "third-party" truthfully then weathered the inevitable shit-storm which abated quickly enough due to my unreactivity, which led to the topic shifting naturally since I basically had nothing more to say after that.

BUT, in this group of last night the girls had several more targets to question who aren't versed in our ways, if you will. One guy with some serious game deficits (e.g. flexing, albeit semi-subtly, his money) set the "third-party" frame before I could and proceeded to shit liberally (lol) over it. Following up on that, my truthful answer shoved my under-deserving body under the proverbial bus. Fanaticism and lectures ensued. One friend, a natural or at least semi-natural, gave the "correct" answer and was showered with adoration. The topic spun about for some more time before dissipating but had a net negative effect on the vibe.

Now last night doesn't matter (then again what night does?) but it certainly made me wonder how I can efficiently cut threads like this when the whole group is engaged. I felt an overt topic-change from my position wouldn't be well received. Perhaps a pattern-interrupt of some sort, some theatrical display to capture attention from the present topic after which I could direct it elsewhere? Say a text I "just received" about some chick-crack subject and lead down that road.

Also I'm pondering whether or not I should have lied. I knew the "correct" answer of course and could easily have acted it out. Then with the less emotional charge generated I could have more easily perhaps redirected the focus. But then again it feels slightly supplicating and of course more emotions means more fun Of course politics is a huge no-no and I hate talking about it, especially with girls, no matter the emotion behind it.

What do you guys think?

 

[Jamster]

Shift in topic might work. I recently found out that 52% of white women voted for Mr Grab-them-by-the pussy in 2016; 55% of them voted for him in 2020; 53% of them voted for him in 2024. Pre-empt the "who did you vote for" discussion with that fact.

The vast majority of white women seem to vocally support the Me Too movement, but...

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

One guy with some serious game deficits (e.g. flexing, albeit semi-subtly, his money) set the "third-party" frame before I could and proceeded to shit liberally (lol) over it.

There's a different way to see this "problem" and I'll get to that later.

But if you want to shut down the topic because you don't like politics, or you don't want your own exposed, lol ..

I can think of a dozen things to do, but right off top,

Where were you on January 6th?

"He lying, he's writing in Trump! Mr Money Bags over here should by the next round of drinks ".

Recategorize him as an amog, and "mog" him.

The key with this is to hit him in multiple directions at once. And have him defend himself on multiple fronts.

Option 2 - The AMOG

I would even throw in "he's just saying that cause he's trying to get into *hottest* girl in the set. You know he's gonna write in Trump. Mr Money Bags over here should buy the next round of drinks".

Only cut his balls off (expose his sexual intent) - if he's been a spoil sport the whole time.

Also, you kinda been to be able to rehab his in the moment rep, "You okay Scrooge McDuck...". The West has this weird thing where people can be "friends" that insult them.

3) Play Reporter

Pretend to have a mic, and turn to any of the chicks and then Mischaracterize what he says,

"So Chica, what do you think he's going to say next to get Vance elected".

Etc, there's lots of ways to turn the group against the topic, and him.

But the real mistakes, I see in this situation is

1) you're rapping with broads for an hour

and

2) you're letting them control the conversation/interaction.

Group scenarios mean you need to hold court, ideally be the center of the action. But even if you don't want to be the main thing, you have to actively be steering the interaction.

Sometimes controlling the vibe is not talking and acting, not reacting over the top. Face change, body language, a sigh or interjection. I once turned completely around during a stand up meeting at work. (It worked, but guess he didn't get moved up the ladder!!)

Or if you're trying to make moves, you eye code the girl you're trying to get at. "Can you believe this dude?!".

4) Collaborators

Turn to the broads, "I see some of y'all nodding your head yes. Who knew I was with a bunch of closet Trump supporters. Who's the biggest Sydney Sweeney fan....

And hijinks will ensue.

...

There's a billion ways to handle Party Pooper scenarios, but identifying haters early on, topic prevention, is better than going negative.

But sometimes playing it fast and loose will set you up for big moments like this. You want to develop your game, not just smooth over rough patches on the way to smashing.

Cause you can subvert the political to the personal, and having that type of energy and being able to generate it on the fly, is useful for the pull. You can literally be the most exciting and interesting, and then wield the groups energy to any given individual. That's way more powerful than the typical telling chicks what they want to here.

 

[Ratata]

I think you're too worried about how you look in the group setting, and that you should be less worried about it. In general, never ever entertain a discussion about politics when you're socializing, and least of all when sarging. Or if you do, then do it at your own risk, and for the sake of having a political discussion, and not for "looking good in the group."

If you wanna look good in the group, then - excuse the harsh tone - simply shut your mouth, maybe go "Aha mhm, yeah sounds about right." Then change the topic, or better yet, get out of the group entirely and get one-on-one with some hot girl. Most discussions like that are attention grabbing trolls anyway, and you end up in a pissing contest where it's very hard to know the outcome - while you could have gone one-on-one with the hot girl the entire time, and side-stepped the entire show completely. If that is your goal. I mean... I like a good political brawl from time to time too! Especially when I respect everyone in that group. But I don't do it to get laid.

If it happens when you're one-on-one, however, you can defo use logic and politics to your advantage, though.

Example: If a guy is hitting on your girl. Normally you don't want to give the guy attention at all (e.g. club game). So just block him out. Physically turn her with you and away from him. But in social settings you might have to acknowledge the guy, and perhaps you're even forced to be friendly towards him. Ach this is the worst of both worlds, but sadly it happens from time-to-time and often in group dynamics.

Well, the trick is to briefly, but effectively address the dude like you care. Then get him into a the most logical discussion you can muster. The best case is if you get him to explain something super logical to you, which in PU terms is equal to having him qualify to you. Then simply ignore him and turn your attention to the girl, woo her, while ignoring the guy completely. Boom. He looks like a tool and now he's out. In the best case this causes him to completely lose state as well. And that's where you can thank him for his input (or not even look at him), and just leave with the girl.

Honestly, if there's a group discussion, I just sit and listen. You don't need to be the centre piece of some show, especially not a political one. You just need to connect with one girl one-on-one, and get private with her. That's how you side-step the entire show-off and "gotta hold court" kinda play entirely.

With that said, does it help to be able to hold court? Of course it does! Just like it helps to look good, and have money, it can also help to hold court. But IMHO you can also side-step the entire thing with private charm and escalation. You don't have to be the cool and respected guy in the group to get laid, but sure, it helps. (Hey, btw, during group discussions like that; if you've already connected with some girl, this is a great place to eye code her, make a silly "yawh" face, and point to the door, and then take her with you out of that bs.)

With that said, I really like West_Indian_Archie's answer.

The key with this is to hit him in multiple directions at once. And have him defend himself on multiple fronts.

Reminds me of the friendly "intel analyst" a.k.a. CIA spook Ryan McBeth: "Don't just attack. Nay. Attack in a way that gives the enemy a dilemma."

 

[Will_V]

Now this is kinda funny to me since a year ago my girlfriend asked me the same thing when I met her at the bar as one of the first things she said to me. And the girl I had met at that same bar a few weeks before. In both cases I replied "third-party" truthfully then weathered the inevitable shit-storm which abated quickly enough due to my unreactivity

Wow. Admittedly I don't live in the usa, but I've never been asked on a date who I voted for or who I support politically. In fact no girl has ever initiated a political discussion with me that I can remember, period. Dating over there must be some kind of political minefield.

One guy with some serious game deficits (e.g. flexing, albeit semi-subtly, his money) set the "third-party" frame before I could and proceeded to shit liberally (lol) over it.

What do you mean he shit on it?

Following up on that, my truthful answer shoved my under-deserving body under the proverbial bus. Fanaticism and lectures ensued. One friend, a natural or at least semi-natural, gave the "correct" answer and was showered with adoration. The topic spun about for some more time before dissipating but had a net negative effect on the vibe.

Why didn't you say 'third party' if that's what your goto answer has been up until now?

Typically the way I deal with things like this is to either evade it entirely with some vague answer, or go into a frame battle. There's no point trying to convince the other person that your choice is the 'right one'. But it's fun sometimes to reframe the debate into something that's hard to argue with.

For example let's say someone asks who I voted for. I might start off by saying that all the candidates are weak, they all say one thing and end up doing another. That's already difficult to handle because it's clear that I'm not going to be a fanatic about my answer. Which makes it a lot harder for them to pin me down, and a lot easier for me to steer things toward other adjacent themes.

If someone is looking for a scrap, they're going to want to find your push-button topic so they can really trigger you and win the decisive battle. But if you take them all around the map, now and then making sudden well-constructed points on adjacent topics, it's hard for them to figure out what's going on and how to win. And it makes you look in control.

I felt an overt topic-change from my position wouldn't be well received. Perhaps a pattern-interrupt of some sort, some theatrical display to capture attention from the present topic after which I could direct it elsewhere? Say a text I "just received" about some chick-crack subject and lead down that road.

That would be very hard to pull off. Trying to thread cut a whole group is going to come across like you've something to hide.

 

[Francis]

KJ thoughts, but maybe pattern interrupt? Unexpected answer, total reframe...

I was registered to vote without asking and immediately went to the elections office to shirk my civic duty... Hopefully unregistered before everyone on earth can google my apartment unit number.

I don't know if you guys remember the "suicidal" girl making attention-seeking threats, but maybe it's preselection to need to hide from girls a little bit. And I think hot girls can relate to dealing with creepers. One I had over tonight has had multiple stalkers... Like house broken into, followed home from work, out of court settlement, etc.

 

[Chase]

HER: "Who did you vote for in 2024?"

YOU: "George Floyd."

HER: "No seriously."

YOU: "I don't know. It's so long ago that I can't remember. I never look back."

HER: "Okay, well who would you vote for today?"

YOU: "Volodymyr Zelensky. With his unique brand of insight and pugnacity we'd go far."

HER: "Seriously! Who would you vote for?"

YOU: "I don't know, Luigi Mangione. Look: US politics are completely retarded. You can vote for Military Industrial Complex Candidate A and get one sack of shit or Military Industrial Complex Candidate B and get a different sack of shit. I am so tired of everyone being obsessed with this crap. Can we all just agree the country is falling apart and whoever you vote for is just going to help it fall apart in different ways? All we can do as peasants in a dying empire is do our best to enjoy the decline and wait for something better to hopefully rise from the ashes."

Funny answers for girls who ask once or twice. Pick some left wing heroes who are not political candidates (for the lols) since the girls asking this are universally left wing: Anthony Fauci, George Floyd, etc.

If she's autistically persistent then you need to just grab the frame from. You just have to blow up her frame and show her you're operating at a higher level of understanding than she is.

Then she can try and convince you how "XYZ party really IS different!" or "We really CAN make a difference!" and you can just be like okay yep, sure, I gotcha. So anyway... [change topics]

 

[Skater]

So much to think about, thanks all

Option 2 - The AMOG

I would even throw in "he's just saying that cause he's trying to get into *hottest* girl in the set. You know he's gonna write in Trump. Mr Money Bags over here should buy the next round of drinks".

Only cut his balls off (expose his sexual intent) - if he's been a spoil sport the whole time.

Also, you kinda been to be able to rehab his in the moment rep, "You okay Scrooge McDuck...". The West has this weird thing where people can be "friends" that insult them.

Not sure I understand what you mean here... especially with the McDuck line.

Also, I wasn't really looking to tool this guy out though his lack of game does make me angry at times. In fact, I was trying to get him laid but when he's putting unnecessary blocks in his own way I start questioning whether he's even worthy lol.

But the real mistakes, I see in this situation is

1) you're rapping with broads for an hour

and

2) you're letting them control the conversation/interaction.

Group scenarios mean you need to hold court, ideally be the center of the action. But even if you don't want to be the main thing, you have to actively be steering the interaction.

Guilty as charged. As others have pointed out, ideally I would be one-on-one but in this scenario I wasn't looking to pick up, just have fun in the interaction (by not talking about politics). That said, if I was more on top of the conversation the question may have never arisen, though the girl who brought it up was one testy lil thang but that kinda made her cuter lol.

Cause you can subvert the political to the personal, and having that type of energy and being able to generate it on the fly, is useful for the pull. You can literally be the most exciting and interesting, and then wield the groups energy to any given individual. That's way more powerful than the typical telling chicks what they want to here.

Deep. I'll be thinking about this.

Honestly, if there's a group discussion, I just sit and listen. You don't need to be the centre piece of some show, especially not a political one. You just need to connect with one girl one-on-one, and get private with her. That's how you side-step the entire show-off and "gotta hold court" kinda play entirely.

Totally agree. This interaction definitely drove home the benefits of isolation lol. But here I was more focused on learning to handle a group than pulling a girl.

Well, the trick is to briefly, but effectively address the dude like you care. Then get him into a the most logical discussion you can muster. The best case is if you get him to explain something super logical to you, which in PU terms is equal to having him qualify to you. Then simply ignore him and turn your attention to the girl, woo her, while ignoring the guy completely. Boom. He looks like a tool and now he's out. In the best case this causes him to completely lose state as well. And that's where you can thank him for his input (or not even look at him), and just leave with the girl.

Seems like a solid, general-purpose tactic. Consider it stolen!

What do you mean he shit on it?

I mean he made it "uncool" by not properly handling their shit tests such that when I answered the same thing, I inherited that frame automatically without being able to defend/frame my position effectively. That said, I like Chase's answer which avoids falling into this trap.

Why didn't you say 'third party' if that's what your goto answer has been up until now?

I did, but because he said the same thing I was trapped.

Funny answers for girls who ask once or twice. Pick some left wing heroes who are not political candidates (for the lols) since the girls asking this are universally left wing: Anthony Fauci, George Floyd, etc.

If she's autistically persistent then you need to just grab the frame from. You just have to blow up her frame and show her you're operating at a higher level of understanding than she is.

Then she can try and convince you how "XYZ party really IS different!" or "We really CAN make a difference!" and you can just be like okay yep, sure, I gotcha. So anyway... [change topics]

Love this strategy. Avoiding the trap while having fun in the process. I live in a city where political autism reaches lofty, rarefied heights (acting as a magnet for such girls) so having something like this in my arsenal will be awesome moving forward.

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

Last night I was out with some friends and we were talking to some girls. I wasn't in pickup mode as it were, due to my continuing relationship quandries. I was enjoying the vibe however just laughing, joking, teasing, etc. Gotta admit I do love female attention

We were in there for a solid hour or more until the girls got the brilliant idea of asking who we voted for in the 2024 American election. Now this is kinda funny to me since a year ago my girlfriend asked me the same thing when I met her at the bar as one of the first things she said to me. And the girl I had met at that same bar a few weeks before. In both cases I replied "third-party" truthfully then weathered the inevitable shit-storm which abated quickly enough due to my unreactivity, which led to the topic shifting naturally since I basically had nothing more to say after that.

BUT, in this group of last night the girls had several more targets to question who aren't versed in our ways, if you will. One guy with some serious game deficits (e.g. flexing, albeit semi-subtly, his money) set the "third-party" frame before I could and proceeded to shit liberally (lol) over it. Following up on that, my truthful answer shoved my under-deserving body under the proverbial bus. Fanaticism and lectures ensued. One friend, a natural or at least semi-natural, gave the "correct" answer and was showered with adoration. The topic spun about for some more time before dissipating but had a net negative effect on the vibe.

Now last night doesn't matter (then again what night does?) but it certainly made me wonder how I can efficiently cut threads like this when the whole group is engaged. I felt an overt topic-change from my position wouldn't be well received. Perhaps a pattern-interrupt of some sort, some theatrical display to capture attention from the present topic after which I could direct it elsewhere? Say a text I "just received" about some chick-crack subject and lead down that road.

Also I'm pondering whether or not I should have lied. I knew the "correct" answer of course and could easily have acted it out. Then with the less emotional charge generated I could have more easily perhaps redirected the focus. But then again it feels slightly supplicating and of course more emotions means more fun Of course politics is a huge no-no and I hate talking about it, especially with girls, no matter the emotion behind it.

What do you guys think?

Depends, I have a tough time on the situation shifting topics for example if I’m hosting a party and am in the middle of things. Easier time when I’m out at the club or bar.

For winter this year if you are talking to women as a group I always go for main stream things. *[It was Heated Rivalry in winter, and for the last week or so I’ve been mentioning Love Is Blind how the one guy left the girl day of the wedding women go apeshit about this one]

Another one I’ve used is how I got offended about Sabrina Carpenter naming her song “Manchild” lol. That one I use to demonstrate higher value, *[So I collect Popmart stuff I also keep my house super clean *[Insert what you personally do as a responsible or irresponsible adult]

The thing is mentioning politics to guys is the same dopamine high that women get when you mention unnecessary but super dramatic drama.