How to deal with angry girlfriend?

[AugusteLoves]

Hello, I am dealing with an angry girlfriend who is constantly spam calling me right now and she was calling me names on the phone this morning so i refused to talk anymore. She has been spam calling me for hours without stopping. She is mad because she had a dream that I cheated. I admit I made some mistakes at the beginning of the relationship because I was talking to some other girls after I met her and she went through my phone and found out and there was one point where she said she didn't wanna see me anymore, so i slept with an ex. and she found out about that too. so she has some legitimate reasons to be upset with me, but i cannot deal with this because she can no longer trust me, when it's going great it's going great tho. we tell each other we love each other everyday, she is freaky and she dirty talks me so good. she cooks me food. she buys me clothes. no other girl has ever bought me so many clothes, gifts, and cooked me so much food before. how do i make my girlfriend stop being so angry with me? how do i make her trust me? also she wants to video call 24/7. also i do feel like i was a little misled by her at first because at first she claimed a body count of 2 then later she told me she used to be a stripper and that she had sex with men at the strip club for money in the past. she no longer does that tho, and i've gone through her phone, so i know she is loyal to me. we have been dating 2 and a half months. thoughts gentlemen? what should i do? one thing i have learned, is that a woman should never know about other women that you've been with in the past. because she uses my past with other women against me, which i don't understand, because i never use her stripper past against her. she also uses religion and god to try to say how what i am doing is sinful, but i don't think she really cares about the religion, i feel she is using the religion to try to do something, im not sure what exactly. because she has lots of freaky sex with me, so if religion was important to her, why would she have freaky sex with me? that doesn't make sense. and she tried to say she regret her past but i dont think she regrets it at all, and i dont think she should, she told me she enjoyed some of the sex with strip club clients, but she wants me to regret all of my past sexual experiences before her. what do i do? how do i fix this relationship? how do i put her in her proper place? how do i make her stop questioning me? how do i make her trust me? or do i just give up and stop trying?

 

[Warped Mindless]

Break up with her and go work on yourself bro.

 

[Warped Mindless]

also https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/25-maxims-on-relationships.25187/

 

[Skills]

I had issues like this in the past:

- first gentle correction
-soft next

If it doesn't work, hard next.. .

 

[Will_V]

@AugusteLoves problems with relationships are problems of leadership and frame control.

Looking over your post:

I admit I made some mistakes at the beginning of the relationship because I was talking to some other girls after I met her and she went through my phone and found out

there was one point where she said she didn't wanna see me anymore, so i slept with an ex. and she found out about that too.

she also uses religion and god to try to say how what i am doing is sinful

Have you been actively going after other girls while leading her to believe that you're exclusive? If so, there ain't a girl on earth who's going to take that well.

If you want to have other girls on the side, you need to a) not go to lengths to hide it and b) have a strong frame of why you are living your life this way. And not all girls are going to be ok with it.

What she's doing here:

- Blowing up your phone
- Trying to prove she's more of a gunslinger than you
- Trying to make you feel sinful for past (and present..?) sexual experiences

is her trying to regain a sense of control in a relationship she feels she has no control over.

You say she cooks for you, buys you stuff, and you tell eachother you love eachother everyday? That sure sounds like a committed relationship to me. How have you set her expectations of what being your girlfriend means? Because right now it comes across like she doesn't know what she can really expect from you.

A leader must be consistent to gain trust. You can't be wishy washy and expect her to follow you everywhere. If you don't have a clear idea of what this relationship is and where you're taking it, if you're wandering along half in and half out, she's going to feel like the ground underneath her is not solid, and she's going to try and push you to clarify things one way or the other.

 

[AugusteLoves]

@AugusteLoves problems with relationships are problems of leadership and frame control.

Looking over your post:







Have you been actively going after other girls while leading her to believe that you're exclusive? If so, there ain't a girl on earth who's going to take that well.

If you want to have other girls on the side, you need to a) not go to lengths to hide it and b) have a strong frame of why you are living your life this way. And not all girls are going to be ok with it.

What she's doing here:

- Blowing up your phone
- Trying to prove she's more of a gunslinger than you
- Trying to make you feel sinful for past (and present..?) sexual experiences

is her trying to regain a sense of control in a relationship she feels she has no control over.

You say she cooks for you, buys you stuff, and you tell eachother you love eachother everyday? That sure sounds like a committed relationship to me. How have you set her expectations of what being your girlfriend means? Because right now it comes across like she doesn't know what she can really expect from you.

A leader must be consistent to gain trust. You can't be wishy washy and expect her to follow you everywhere. If you don't have a clear idea of what this relationship is and where you're taking it, if you're wandering along half in and half out, she's going to feel like the ground underneath her is not solid, and she's going to try and push you to clarify things one way or the other.

So yes I did actively pursue other women in the first 2 weeks I knew her and then I stopped cuz she got mad about it. And I told her that I only wanna be with her. But I feel like I'm lying when I say that, because yes of course I wanna be with her. But I am in university, and I see all of these other beautiful women at school everyday and I want to fuck all of them. I want to fuck every beautiful woman I meet. So I would like to have a stable long term girlfriend who loves me while I still fuck new pussy, and I want to have 4 or 5 girlfriends who all live with me and have group sex with me everyday. So yes I still want to be with this woman but I want to be with many women, and I don't know how to make her accept that, and I haven't told her that cuz she'd probably get mad anyway. What do I do? I feel like I can't just go around telling women that I want to have 4 girlfriends who all live with me, I think that most women would think I'm dirty or bad somehow if I say that, maybe I'm wrong tho, I know there is definitely a way and a path forward to my dream I just don't know how.

 

[AugusteLoves]

also https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/25-maxims-on-relationships.25187/

Hello, maxim number 5, she is trying to domesticate me and she is saying she hopes i change and never do hookups again. except, me and her met through a hook up, i met her in the street in the daytime at my university campus where we are both students, on the first day of school this semester, she was actually the first girl i talked to in the entire semseter, and i fucked her in the bathroom right there at school like 30 min to an hour after meeting her in the street. that day changed my life. first time i took a day time cold approach to immediate sex.

what do i do that she is trying to domesticate me and ive already agreed to be her exclusive boyfriend? i love her i do, but i want to have sex with other women too and i want to have multiple girlfriends. How do i be more dominant? how do i be the boss?

 

[Warped Mindless]

How to Build a Harem, Pt 1: Queen Theory

In Part 1 of the harem series, we talk about Queen Theory: how women position themselves as long-term partners and jockey for roles and status. Having created a constantly evolving harem for the past three years running multi-dating relationships, as well as having dated some of these women for...

www.girlschase.com

Read the entire series. He does things a little different than me but what he writes is legit.

 

[Francis]

she was actually the first girl i talked to in the entire semseter, and i fucked her in the bathroom right there at school like 30 min to an hour after meeting her in the street.

Possibly karma for not posting this awesome lay report

 

[Will_V]

So yes I did actively pursue other women in the first 2 weeks I knew her and then I stopped cuz she got mad about it. And I told her that I only wanna be with her. But I feel like I'm lying when I say that, because yes of course I wanna be with her. But I am in university, and I see all of these other beautiful women at school everyday and I want to fuck all of them. I want to fuck every beautiful woman I meet. So I would like to have a stable long term girlfriend who loves me while I still fuck new pussy, and I want to have 4 or 5 girlfriends who all live with me and have group sex with me everyday. So yes I still want to be with this woman but I want to be with many women, and I don't know how to make her accept that, and I haven't told her that cuz she'd probably get mad anyway. What do I do? I feel like I can't just go around telling women that I want to have 4 girlfriends who all live with me, I think that most women would think I'm dirty or bad somehow if I say that, maybe I'm wrong tho, I know there is definitely a way and a path forward to my dream I just don't know how.

It's clear to me that you don't know how to manage your relationship frames.

Here you are with a girl who:

- Is cooking for you and buying gifts
- You promised her exclusivity
- You tell eachother I love you all the time

but you also want to sleep with other girls, and you're afraid to tell her.

What's going on here is that this girl is being told one thing and smelling another. Naturally she's going to start trying to clarify things one way or the other, using various methods:

- Fighting with you (direct psychological dominance)
- Guilt tripping you (make you feel like you're a bad person if you want other girls)
- Compete with you (telling you her war stories, which is an indirect threat)
- Blowing up your phone (trying to make you focus completely on her and invest in her).
etc

All of these come from one issue: you haven't set the right expectations.

To begin with, you should never promise exclusivity unless you're sure you want that. That is a major mistake, because it's virtually impossible to go back on and keep the relationship. Girls naturally expect relationship progress in the forward direction, and anything in the reverse comes across to her like being soft-dumped (is that a word .. ?). She's going to feel like she's on her way out.

Secondly, you need to manage your frames. Do you ever talk to her about how you view sex vs relationships? Does she know what she would mean to you as your girlfriend even while you were banging some other girl you'd just met? Does she know exactly what she has from you that other girls would never have? A bit part of what scares girls about non exclusive relationships is that they don't believe that you know the difference between sex and commitment. They think you'll bang some girl at the club and then fall in love with her and break up with them. And considering the way you drifted into the relationship willy nilly from a hookup, she's got grounds for thinking that.

And was she ever given a choice as to whether non exclusivity is something she could accept, before getting committed with you?

This is all frame control and leadership, which from what I can see is virtually non existent here.

A lot of girls (not all) are open to a relationship that's out of the ordinary, at least for a time. But only if she feels secure in knowing the lay of the land and that she isn't going to get the rug pulled out at some point.

 

[AugusteLoves]

It's clear to me that you don't know how to manage your relationship frames.

Here you are with a girl who:

- Is cooking for you and buying gifts
- You promised her exclusivity
- You tell eachother I love you all the time

but you also want to sleep with other girls, and you're afraid to tell her.

What's going on here is that this girl is being told one thing and smelling another. Naturally she's going to start trying to clarify things one way or the other, using various methods:

- Fighting with you (direct psychological dominance)
- Guilt tripping you (make you feel like you're a bad person if you want other girls)
- Compete with you (telling you her war stories, which is an indirect threat)
- Blowing up your phone (trying to make you focus completely on her and invest in her).
etc

All of these come from one issue: you haven't set the right expectations.

To begin with, you should never promise exclusivity unless you're sure you want that. That is a major mistake, because it's virtually impossible to go back on and keep the relationship. Girls naturally expect relationship progress in the forward direction, and anything in the reverse comes across to her like being soft-dumped (is that a word .. ?). She's going to feel like she's on her way out.

Secondly, you need to manage your frames. Do you ever talk to her about how you view sex vs relationships? Does she know what she would mean to you as your girlfriend even while you were banging some other girl you'd just met? Does she know exactly what she has from you that other girls would never have? A bit part of what scares girls about non exclusive relationships is that they don't believe that you know the difference between sex and commitment. They think you'll bang some girl at the club and then fall in love with her and break up with them. And considering the way you drifted into the relationship willy nilly from a hookup, she's got grounds for thinking that.

And was she ever given a choice as to whether non exclusivity is something she could accept, before getting committed with you?

This is all frame control and leadership, which from what I can see is virtually non existent here.

A lot of girls (not all) are open to a relationship that's out of the ordinary, at least for a time. But only if she feels secure in knowing the lay of the land and that she isn't going to get the rug pulled out at some point.

How do I have frame and leadership? idk how. She also has my location so logistically for me to meet other women without her knowing would be very difficult. She also ocassionally goes through all my phones. So i can't use dating apps. I don't want to make her feel bad I don't want to mistreat her, but I want to have threesomes with her and other girls because I think that would be hot and I think she might even like it. Also how do I make her stop getting mad, because if she keeps getting mad I will walk away eventually for sure.

 

[AugusteLoves]

It's clear to me that you don't know how to manage your relationship frames.

Here you are with a girl who:

- Is cooking for you and buying gifts
- You promised her exclusivity
- You tell eachother I love you all the time

but you also want to sleep with other girls, and you're afraid to tell her.

What's going on here is that this girl is being told one thing and smelling another. Naturally she's going to start trying to clarify things one way or the other, using various methods:

- Fighting with you (direct psychological dominance)
- Guilt tripping you (make you feel like you're a bad person if you want other girls)
- Compete with you (telling you her war stories, which is an indirect threat)
- Blowing up your phone (trying to make you focus completely on her and invest in her).
etc

All of these come from one issue: you haven't set the right expectations.

To begin with, you should never promise exclusivity unless you're sure you want that. That is a major mistake, because it's virtually impossible to go back on and keep the relationship. Girls naturally expect relationship progress in the forward direction, and anything in the reverse comes across to her like being soft-dumped (is that a word .. ?). She's going to feel like she's on her way out.

Secondly, you need to manage your frames. Do you ever talk to her about how you view sex vs relationships? Does she know what she would mean to you as your girlfriend even while you were banging some other girl you'd just met? Does she know exactly what she has from you that other girls would never have? A bit part of what scares girls about non exclusive relationships is that they don't believe that you know the difference between sex and commitment. They think you'll bang some girl at the club and then fall in love with her and break up with them. And considering the way you drifted into the relationship willy nilly from a hookup, she's got grounds for thinking that.

And was she ever given a choice as to whether non exclusivity is something she could accept, before getting committed with you?

This is all frame control and leadership, which from what I can see is virtually non existent here.

A lot of girls (not all) are open to a relationship that's out of the ordinary, at least for a time. But only if she feels secure in knowing the lay of the land and that she isn't going to get the rug pulled out at some point.

i did cold approach for last 2 years and drifted my way through hook ups and situationships to a 20 body count. this is only my second real girlfriend. so while i did cold approach i didn't develop significant relationship skills. most women i have been with were cheaters so i didn't take them seriously. surprisingly, even tho she used to sell her pussy for money, this girl is the only girl that has been loyal to me so far. so that's why i don't want to lose her i know for a fact i can easily meet other women, but i don't think it will be easy to find a woman who is loyal to me.

 

[Warped Mindless]

Mods, do you know… this is “Shuno” the dude who’s been banned like twice on here.

Same guy who told me on discord that he doesn’t understand why rape is wrong.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

because if she keeps getting mad I will walk away eventually for sure.

But what if she walks away first. Can you handle that?

even tho she used to sell her pussy for money, this girl is the only girl that has been loyal to me so far.

Wow

 

[AugusteLoves]

But what if she walks away first. Can you handle that?



Wow

yeah i'd move on. i don't think she's going anywhere tho. she likes me too much for that. me and her have since had a bunch of sex since this post and she sucked my dick at the mall. what does that mean? when a woman is angry at you but still fucks you and she still sucks your dick? ideas? thoughts? advice? how to stop her from getting mad again? cuz its annoying to deal with. and this might be bad, but if she keeps getting mad, i might just start cheating anyway, because i feel like, i do the right thing, and try to do right by her, and i am completely honest with her, but its not working. so it feels like, being honest and doing the right thing doesn't count and doesn't get you any rewards might as well do whatever i want, and then maybe, ironically, she might even respect me more and get mad less often if i just do whatever i want whenever i want, including sleeping with other women, i don''t know, just spilling my mind garbage here.

 

[Bill]

These are emotional issues, not logical ones.
Do not try to logically explain to her the problem, tackle the emotion and change how she is feeling. Does she feel guilty and project it on you, insecure, or is it a congruence test.

 

[AugusteLoves]

It's clear to me that you don't know how to manage your relationship frames.

Here you are with a girl who:

- Is cooking for you and buying gifts
- You promised her exclusivity
- You tell eachother I love you all the time

but you also want to sleep with other girls, and you're afraid to tell her.

What's going on here is that this girl is being told one thing and smelling another. Naturally she's going to start trying to clarify things one way or the other, using various methods:

- Fighting with you (direct psychological dominance)
- Guilt tripping you (make you feel like you're a bad person if you want other girls)
- Compete with you (telling you her war stories, which is an indirect threat)
- Blowing up your phone (trying to make you focus completely on her and invest in her).
etc

All of these come from one issue: you haven't set the right expectations.

To begin with, you should never promise exclusivity unless you're sure you want that. That is a major mistake, because it's virtually impossible to go back on and keep the relationship. Girls naturally expect relationship progress in the forward direction, and anything in the reverse comes across to her like being soft-dumped (is that a word .. ?). She's going to feel like she's on her way out.

Secondly, you need to manage your frames. Do you ever talk to her about how you view sex vs relationships? Does she know what she would mean to you as your girlfriend even while you were banging some other girl you'd just met? Does she know exactly what she has from you that other girls would never have? A bit part of what scares girls about non exclusive relationships is that they don't believe that you know the difference between sex and commitment. They think you'll bang some girl at the club and then fall in love with her and break up with them. And considering the way you drifted into the relationship willy nilly from a hookup, she's got grounds for thinking that.

And was she ever given a choice as to whether non exclusivity is something she could accept, before getting committed with you?

This is all frame control and leadership, which from what I can see is virtually non existent here.

A lot of girls (not all) are open to a relationship that's out of the ordinary, at least for a time. But only if she feels secure in knowing the lay of the land and that she isn't going to get the rug pulled out at some point.

she dumped me again today, she was crying a lot, then she took me back and we had sex again, then she was still up set with me, then she said she wants to break up again, then she took me back again and she's happy with me again right now. this girl has probably dumped me and took me back 20 times in the past 2 and a half months we've been dating, what do i do? and i know she's not dumping me and seeing someone else because she is with me 24 7 and i was with her the whole day today.

 

[Francis]

She also has my location

Ok dude... I don't know your native language, but there's a very important one in the English language you need to learn to use more. Here it is:

"No"

 

[OldGuy]

Picture yourself with a woman who agreed to be exclusive with you and now wants to have sex with other guys.

 

[Francis]

she was crying a lot, then she took me back and we had sex again

this girl has probably dumped me and took me back 20 times in the past 2 and a half months we've been dating, what do i do?

What do you do? Probably hit the kill switch and start over with another girl. What makes you think you "love her"? You obviously are not enamored with this girl and happy here.

You've set some really bad precedent by having makeup sex and obviously have trained her to dramatically break up and get together in cycles.

It took me a while to learn to listen to my feelings, but you will probably in many instances have this nagging feeling like "I really don't want to be doing this" and then you learn to have boundaries and not let girls steer the sails of your boat for you. I don't know how boats work... Will knows more on that too... But you might want to read articles on taming, testing, etc. Girls will whine about stuff to gauge your reaction and then show a different emotion thirty seconds later. Don't let it move you.