How to properly, completely ignore uninterested women?

[Whiteheart]

There was this girl I occasionally met in a semi-social circle. There was always sexual chemistry between us, and some moderate level of connection. However, she turned me down several times when I asked for a date. After the last rejection, when we saw each other again, I started to completely ignore her. I don't want to invest into her anymore or give her any attention. To make her understand that I'm not interested anymore and that I don't appreciate the fact that after all that, she dodged dates to save her life.

The problem is that after I first ignored her, she started ignoring me in the same way. I would like to continue to show how much I don't appreciate her ie. to ignore her more than she ignores me, but that's impossible because literally as soon as she looks at me and before I look at her, she becomes cold bitch. She acts as if I will continue to make an effort around her, so she has to show that she is not interested, even though I don't even think of such a thing.

My question is, how can I ignore her even more so that she realizes that I really don't care about her and that I won't give her any more attention? I don't expect any tactics to win her over, nor do I want to, and I also don't think that women are wonderful beings who deserve all the attention, so I would ask that you don't write that type of response.

 

[Blush]

In my experience, if you try hard to ignore someone who's still on your mind from time to time, this will only come off as trying to hard, like you're white knuckling ignorance. If you write here asking about this girl she probably still has your attention, or occupies your thoughts from time to time. If you think about her because you are disappointed in her behaviour, or because something she did made you annoyed or frustrated with her, of course you can choose to not bring that up to her in long arguments, but don't be afraid to show emotion. Imo it's better to sit with your authentic emotions that girls awaken within you when you are around them. If you try to pretend that she is like air to you, completely unnoticable and uninteresting by demonstrating "extra super ignorance" around her, when in reality you feel a bit hurt by, or pissed off with her, you risk coming off as passive aggressive.

If you want to show you are not interested, treat her as a friend you have no romantic interest in whatsoever. If she don't want to talk, fine. Would you care if some co-worker you are completely neutral to would avoid speaking to you? You would just let them mind their own business and go on with yours. Be polite and brief, but always friendly, and keep pursuing other girls you like more. No need to actively demonstrate disappointment in someone, just next them and move on if they give away bad vibes.

And if they later make contact or want to talk things out, don't be bitter, be Down To Forgive.

 

[Whiteheart]

In my experience, if you try hard to ignore someone who's still on your mind from time to time, this will only come off as trying to hard, like you're white knuckling ignorance. If you write here asking about this girl she probably still has your attention, or occupies your thoughts from time to time. If you think about her because you are disappointed in her behaviour, or because something she did made you annoyed or frustrated with her, of course you can choose to not bring that up to her in long arguments, but don't be afraid to show emotion. Imo it's better to sit with your authentic emotions that girls awaken within you when you are around them. If you try to pretend that she is like air to you, completely unnoticable and uninteresting by demonstrating "extra super ignorance" around her, when in reality you feel a bit hurt by, or pissed off with her, you risk coming off as passive aggressive.

If you want to show you are not interested, treat her as a friend you have no romantic interest in whatsoever. If she don't want to talk, fine. Would you care if some co-worker you are completely neutral to would avoid speaking to you? You would just let them mind their own business and go on with yours. Be polite and brief, but always friendly, and keep pursuing other girls you like more. No need to actively demonstrate disappointment in someone, just next them and move on if they give away bad vibes.

And if they later make contact or want to talk things out, don't be bitter, be Down To Forgive.

I agree with the first paragraph. Although I really don't have that many negative emotions, but I want to ignore her because she doesn't deserve anything else. That is why I cannot accept the second paragraph and treat her as a friend. Women want that too. To friend zone as many men as possible and satisfy their emotional needs through simple conversations. Well, uninterested women won't get that from me. I decided not to have any relationship with women with whom I have no business relationship and who are not interested. Exceptions are some friends and neighbors who deserve it.

 

[MarioTheDom]

I would like to continue to show how much I don't appreciate her ie. to ignore her more than she ignores me, but that's impossible because literally as soon as she looks at me and before I look at her, she becomes cold bitch. She acts as if I will continue to make an effort around her, so she has to show that she is not interested, even though I don't even think of such a thing.

The fact that we are here reading means you are either:

A) Butthurt and want revenge from her turning you down, which I think it's a petty behaviour

or

B) You don't have much else going on in life right now...honestly, if you had 3 other fantastic and loving girls hitting you up, would this thing even cross your mind?

My questions to you is: do you really have something going on in your dating life?

 

[Whiteheart]

The fact that we are here reading means you are either:

A) Butthurt and want revenge from her turning you down, which I think it's a petty behaviour

or

B) You don't have much else going on in life right now...honestly, if you had 3 other fantastic and loving girls hitting you up, would this thing even cross your mind?

My questions to you is: do you really have something going on in your dating life?

No, I don't really have anything going on in my dating life. Even when I devoted myself to it as much as possible, there were no major results. That's why I hate all women, because of the time I invested and I got nothing but insults, humiliation, ghosting, flakes and in the best case the friend zone. The time I have for dating at the moment I have devoted to other things. That's why I don't want to give any kind of attention to uninterested women. When they don't give me what I want, I won't give them either.

I'm not interested in advice on how to improve, because I've tried everything alive and there were no results. Of course, some have suggested that I am autistic or otherwise disturbed, but I strongly doubt it. The truth is that I am a quality guy who lives in a country and a world of average, dumb bitches who are looking for even more average jerks and heal their complexes by declaring me unattractive no matter what I do.

 

[Kaida]

You still care about her if you’re trying to “ignore her” to win her back.

Your mindset should be to ignore the girl simply because she has refused time and time again to add value to your life. So, naturally, you’ve moved on to bigger and better things.

You probably would have had more success still talking to her but in very short polite small talk conversations.

You avoid looking butthurt from the rejections (+1)

You communicate to her abundance, because you’re not sticking on one girl
(+1)

You communicate social savvy and confidence, since you’re able to talk to a girl that rejected you
(+1)

You get her mind racing, because now shes wondering why you arent investing as much in the conversations and arent asking her out
(+1)

But by “actively ignoring” in an obvious way, the only point u get is the last one, and its really a (+0.25) instead of a (+1) because she can pretty much guess why you’re not talking to her anymore

because literally as soon as she looks at me and before I look at her, she becomes cold bitch.

I would avoid looking at her at all unless you guys are about to start talking (gives her attention).

Use your peripheral vision and you’ll find the urge to look at her head on reduces significantly

 

[Will_V]

@Whiteheart sorry to see you come back without results, but if all you're looking for is how to reject women harder this is not the place.

But I don't think that's what you really want. What you want is to see her concede to you in some way. But she won't concede to you while you have conceded everything already to her - your attention, your emotions, your peace of mind, all in a fashion in which you have left virtually no possibility for a pleasant or positive outcome. Until you take those back, you will not be able to let go and ignore her. And she will continue to treat you as a guy who cannot take responsibility for his own mind, who she must defend against with her aggressive attitude.

Do you consider yourself to be the leader, the strong man? Then take back your self control and your agency instead of handing it over to some woman with a bad attitude like a leash on your neck. Do you want people to come near you? Then clean up your bitterness and rage that women can smell from a mile away and steer themselves clear of. Do you consider yourself intelligent and adaptable? Then let go of the bullshit story you tell yourself about how the world is full of trash and you are great, and reflect on what it is that people might actually want from you in order to willingly give you what you need.

There are no new secrets. The world has been the way it is for millions of years, and knows more about the truth of things than you ever will. And you have a short time to figure out how to harness all the things it can offer you. You can find a way to do that or you can waste the rest of your life in an emotional tailspin while blaming everything else for your outcome besides your ignorance.

 

[Destiny]

how can I ignore her even more so that she realizes that I really don't care about her and that I won't give her any more attention?

You're auto-rejecting, going down this route isn't gonna help.

 

[Whiteheart]

@Whiteheart sorry to see you come back without results, but if all you're looking for is how to reject women harder this is not the place.

But I don't think that's what you really want. What you want is to see her concede to you in some way. But she won't concede to you while you have conceded everything already to her - your attention, your emotions, your peace of mind, all in a fashion in which you have left virtually no possibility for a pleasant or positive outcome. Until you take those back, you will not be able to let go and ignore her. And she will continue to treat you as a guy who cannot take responsibility for his own mind, who she must defend against with her aggressive attitude.

Do you consider yourself to be the leader, the strong man? Then take back your self control and your agency instead of handing it over to some woman with a bad attitude like a leash on your neck. Do you want people to come near you? Then clean up your bitterness and rage that women can smell from a mile away and steer themselves clear of. Do you consider yourself intelligent and adaptable? Then let go of the bullshit story you tell yourself about how the world is full of trash and you are great, and reflect on what it is that people might actually want from you in order to willingly give you what you need.

There are no new secrets. The world has been the way it is for millions of years, and knows more about the truth of things than you ever will. And you have a short time to figure out how to harness all the things it can offer you. You can find a way to do that or you can waste the rest of your life in an emotional tailspin while blaming everything else for your outcome besides your ignorance.

Thank you. I don't think the world is full of shit, only women. Believe me, there was a long period in my life when I was in the best mood and was communicative, flirtatious and so on, so the results are the same or worse. Now, since I feel so bad, I don't interact with women anymore. I'm sick of them. They broke a significant part of the optimism I had towards life.

If I correctly understood the essence of your advice, I need to relax and sort out my inner emotions, which I will do, but not for the sake of women, but for myself. The only thing I don't understand is why women need some special, alien skill that I obviously don't have or can learn, nor why they often treat me like shit.

 

[Whiteheart]

You still care about her if you’re trying to “ignore her” to win her back.

Your mindset should be to ignore the girl simply because she has refused time and time again to add value to your life. So, naturally, you’ve moved on to bigger and better things.

You probably would have had more success still talking to her but in very short polite small talk conversations.

You avoid looking butthurt from the rejections (+1)

You communicate to her abundance, because you’re not sticking on one girl
(+1)

You communicate social savvy and confidence, since you’re able to talk to a girl that rejected you
(+1)

You get her mind racing, because now shes wondering why you arent investing as much in the conversations and arent asking her out
(+1)

But by “actively ignoring” in an obvious way, the only point u get is the last one, and its really a (+0.25) instead of a (+1) because she can pretty much guess why you’re not talking to her anymore





I would avoid looking at her at all unless you guys are about to start talking (gives her attention).

Use your peripheral vision and you’ll find the urge to look at her head on reduces significantly

Yes, maybe short conversations would be better, but over time I concluded that uninterested women (who don’ provide other important value) don't deserve that either. I have convinced myself that when someone is not interested, then she is not interested. I'm just feeding her ego and accepting her friend zone. Because women want attention and these days they rarely get it, they are satisfied with a little. Well, they won't get even anything like that from me.

I agree with the last paragraph. I should definitely learn to look less openly at such.

 

[TheEcho]

The Shiniest Object; the Hottest Girl

Owen, an average guy living an average life, faces continued frustrations getting girls. It seems like every girl he wants isn’t interested, or is too hard to get! Owen, frustrated with his difficulty finding success with women, begins his day. After his commute, he arrives at work. Owen has a...

www.girlschase.com

 

[MarioTheDom]

I'm not interested in advice on how to improve, because I've tried everything alive and there were no results. Of course, some have suggested that I am autistic or otherwise disturbed, but I strongly doubt it. The truth is that I am a quality guy who lives in a country and a world of average, dumb bitches who are looking for even more average jerks and heal their complexes by declaring me unattractive no matter what I do.

I'm sorry to hear you are this enraged.
I was about to write a different post but I think it doesn't matter what I will tell you, you don't want to change your POV, I'm right?

So I just wish to you all my bests and I hope you can find some serenity

 

[Wick]

Taking responsibility seems like taking on weight. Yet some how, paradoxically, it is empowering.

You can’t do a thing if it’s all “dumb bitches in the world”. Which is factually incorrect, by the way.

However you can do so much if you are able to pinpoint your role in these situations, because it is you that needs to change. And with that change, you’ll start to find wonderful women. But that’s completely ON YOU.

Do not become the victim. There is only more pain for you down that route.

Man up, fix whatever shit you think you already have figured out, and join us in the world of wonderful women.

Ask better questions, look deeper into these issues, put yourself out there with new perspectives, and you have a winning strategy.

But come here in pain, unwilling to let it go, unwilling to learn anything new because you think you have it figured out, unwilling to take responsibility and have COURAGE. Well that’s failure, and I hope you do not fail yourself.

By the way, when you fully embrace this path in this way. It is invigorating, like a sparring match or going to the gym or racing down a hill on a skateboard or performing in front of a huge crowd. All these things take work, and maybe a little scary at first. But if you’ve prepared and put in the work, it becomes some of the most fulfilling things in life.

Don’t blame the weights because you cant lift, don’t blame your opponent if you can’t throw a punch, don’t blame the crowd if you didn’t learn your song, and don’t blame women if you can’t pick them up. Take it upon yourself to do better. And forget “I’ve tried everything”. Obviously you’re missing something. Find it

 

[Whiteheart]

Taking responsibility seems like taking on weight. Yet some how, paradoxically, it is empowering.

You can’t do a thing if it’s all “dumb bitches in the world”. Which is factually incorrect, by the way.

However you can do so much if you are able to pinpoint your role in these situations, because it is you that needs to change. And with that change, you’ll start to find wonderful women. But that’s completely ON YOU.

Do not become the victim. There is only more pain for you down that route.

Man up, fix whatever shit you think you already have figured out, and join us in the world of wonderful women.

Ask better questions, look deeper into these issues, put yourself out there with new perspectives, and you have a winning strategy.

But come here in pain, unwilling to let it go, unwilling to learn anything new because you think you have it figured out, unwilling to take responsibility and have COURAGE. Well that’s failure, and I hope you do not fail yourself.

By the way, when you fully embrace this path in this way. It is invigorating, like a sparring match or going to the gym or racing down a hill on a skateboard or performing in front of a huge crowd. All these things take work, and maybe a little scary at first. But if you’ve prepared and put in the work, it becomes some of the most fulfilling things in life.

Don’t blame the weights because you cant lift, don’t blame your opponent if you can’t throw a punch, don’t blame the crowd if you didn’t learn your song, and don’t blame women if you can’t pick them up. Take it upon yourself to do better. And forget “I’ve tried everything”. Obviously you’re missing something. Find it

But for the past 12 years, I've tried to take responsibility for my own success with women. This led to the point where I tried various strategies to win them over while they could behave as they wanted towards me (mostly like bitches or attention whores). I have changed my mindset and I no longer experience women as an audience or judges who will evaluate me and weigh whether I am attractive enough for them, while it is enough for them to exist and do nothing. Thanks for advices anyway.

 

[Skills]

There was this girl I occasionally met in a semi-social circle. There was always sexual chemistry between us, and some moderate level of connection. However, she turned me down several times when I asked for a date. After the last rejection, when we saw each other again, I started to completely ignore her. I don't want to invest into her anymore or give her any attention. To make her understand that I'm not interested anymore and that I don't appreciate the fact that after all that, she dodged dates to save her life.

The problem is that after I first ignored her, she started ignoring me in the same way. I would like to continue to show how much I don't appreciate her ie. to ignore her more than she ignores me, but that's impossible because literally as soon as she looks at me and before I look at her, she becomes cold bitch. She acts as if I will continue to make an effort around her, so she has to show that she is not interested, even though I don't even think of such a thing.

My question is, how can I ignore her even more so that she realizes that I really don't care about her and that I won't give her any more attention? I don't expect any tactics to win her over, nor do I want to, and I also don't think that women are wonderful beings who deserve all the attention, so I would ask that you don't write that type of response.

This is exactly why i advice against social circle, usually guys that are not good enough looking for an easy way short cut, since they are not competent experience enough they fuck it up, now they have to keep seeing constantly the girl that rejected them....

 

[Wick]

But for the past 12 years, I've tried to take responsibility for my own success with women. This led to the point where I tried various strategies to win them over while they could behave as they wanted towards me (mostly like bitches or attention whores). I have changed my mindset and I no longer experience women as an audience or judges who will evaluate me and weigh whether I am attractive enough for them, while it is enough for them to exist and do nothing. Thanks for advices anyway.

Yeah right there you are talking about some bad strategies. “Winning over” is not how you would describe good game.

Even in your OP you mentioned asking this girl out. I would bet you did it in a way that is not good game.

Good game is learnable. Already I’ve found areas you can improve. You need to learn real game, drop everything you think you know, empty your cup.

what are you going to do otherwise? Give up on women and be an incel monk?

Come on man, get back in the ring. I understand you’ve had loss after loss, but it’s because you’ve had losing strategies.

Give us a detailed FR (field report) with as much detail as possible and we will find where the problem is. You’re on the best dating forum on the planet, we have the best of the best experienced guys here.

 

[TheEcho]

Now imagine having been pretty good with girls, being in a nice relationship for years, then being completely shut out for almost a year? My approach is to reevaluate EVERYTHING especially mindsets and fundamentals.

 

[Chase]

The problem is that after I first ignored her, she started ignoring me in the same way.

Classic dual auto-rejection:

1. Guy likes girl
2. Girl likes guy
3. Guy tries to get girl out
4. Girl plays hard to get
5. Guy gives up and auto-rejects, feeling bitter toward her
6. Girl detects guy's bitterness, also auto-rejects, feeling bitter toward him

You can't get a girl to chase you who is in auto-rejection. You can only mollify her auto-rejection, which takes game:

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Around a Girl in Auto-Rejection

A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula. This is a firefighting post. I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes. On my article about screening girls...

www.girlschase.com

Of course, you yourself are also in auto-rejection. Which means you will not be able to get yourself to do that:

Stop Auto-Rejecting Girls Who Like You

“You wannafourfour?” Around a year and a half ago, this Tinder message buzzes my phone as I drive back to school. I’m returning from a trial shift at a club I hope to work at for the upcoming summer. Despite my good mood, however, I’m confused. What the hell is “fourfour”? The girl messaging me...

www.girlschase.com

You cannot game a girl while you are in auto-rejection. Asking for things to do with her tactically, while you yourself are in auto-rejection, is pointless. There are things that will work, but you will not be able to execute any of them.

This is exactly why i advice against social circle, usually guys that are not good enough looking for an easy way short cut, since they are not competent experience enough they fuck it up, now they have to keep seeing constantly the girl that rejected them....

Yep, precisely.

They screw it up, there's dual auto-rejection, and then you have this cold war between the guy and girl in social circle, with both of them acting bitchy toward each other, trying to see who will crack first. Sometimes it leads to escalating jealousy plotlines, or each one trying to exclude the other from things, and feelings get even more hurt.

But you'll never not get guys lacking game to not do social circle. It's like trying to stop a man dying of thirst from drinking muddy water in a puddle on the road. If that's the only water around, he'll stick his face right in the pothole and start guzzling.

@Whiteheart, if you are unable to learn game, I would focus my efforts toward some other method of getting women. Game is the best, hands down, but there are others. Start a rock band, get good enough to play gigs in popular bars where the girls all see you singing... get an authority role somewhere you'll be around lots of hot girls... etc.

By the way, this is untrue:

I have changed my mindset and I no longer experience women as an audience or judges who will evaluate me and weigh whether I am attractive enough for them, while it is enough for them to exist and do nothing.

Because this ENTIRE post is about your frustration that this girl has removed herself from your 'audience' and is now no longer judging you in any way:

There was this girl I occasionally met in a semi-social circle. There was always sexual chemistry between us, and some moderate level of connection. However, she turned me down several times when I asked for a date. After the last rejection, when we saw each other again, I started to completely ignore her. I don't want to invest into her anymore or give her any attention. To make her understand that I'm not interested anymore and that I don't appreciate the fact that after all that, she dodged dates to save her life.

The problem is that after I first ignored her, she started ignoring me in the same way. I would like to continue to show how much I don't appreciate her ie. to ignore her more than she ignores me, but that's impossible because literally as soon as she looks at me and before I look at her, she becomes cold bitch. She acts as if I will continue to make an effort around her, so she has to show that she is not interested, even though I don't even think of such a thing.

My question is, how can I ignore her even more so that she realizes that I really don't care about her and that I won't give her any more attention? I don't expect any tactics to win her over, nor do I want to, and I also don't think that women are wonderful beings who deserve all the attention, so I would ask that you don't write that type of response.

You are STILL trying to game her (and she is still trying to game you).

The problem is you have both reached the point where neither of you knows what else to do, and have both reverted to the low-odds strategy of "show I'm so indifferent that the other one HAS to crack and chase after me to try to make amends!"

You can pursue these lowest of low odds strategies... who knows, they have been known to work before on rare occasions...

But I would try something else.

If not game, I would look for some other angle guys use to get girls, be that money, fame, etc.

You're still trying to get girls, just like any guy. You're just using super ineffective means to try to get them.

Chase

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Classic dual auto-rejection:

1. Guy likes girl
2. Girl likes guy
3. Guy tries to get girl out
4. Girl plays hard to get
5. Guy gives up and auto-rejects, feeling bitter toward her
6. Girl detects guy's bitterness, also auto-rejects, feeling bitter toward him

You can't get a girl to chase you who is in auto-rejection. You can only mollify her auto-rejection, which takes game:

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Around a Girl in Auto-Rejection

A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula. This is a firefighting post. I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes. On my article about screening girls...

www.girlschase.com

Of course, you yourself are also in auto-rejection. Which means you will not be able to get yourself to do that:

Stop Auto-Rejecting Girls Who Like You

“You wannafourfour?” Around a year and a half ago, this Tinder message buzzes my phone as I drive back to school. I’m returning from a trial shift at a club I hope to work at for the upcoming summer. Despite my good mood, however, I’m confused. What the hell is “fourfour”? The girl messaging me...

www.girlschase.com

You cannot game a girl while you are in auto-rejection. Asking for things to do with her tactically, while you yourself are in auto-rejection, is pointless. There are things that will work, but you will not be able to execute any of them.



Yep, precisely.

They screw it up, there's dual auto-rejection, and then you have this cold war between the guy and girl in social circle, with both of them acting bitchy toward each other, trying to see who will crack first. Sometimes it leads to escalating jealousy plotlines, or each one trying to exclude the other from things, and feelings get even more hurt.

But you'll never not get guys lacking game to not do social circle. It's like trying to stop a man dying of thirst from drinking muddy water in a puddle on the road. If that's the only water around, he'll stick his face right in the pothole and start guzzling.

@Whiteheart, if you are unable to learn game, I would focus my efforts toward some other method of getting women. Game is the best, hands down, but there are others. Start a rock band, get good enough to play gigs in popular bars where the girls all see you singing... get an authority role somewhere you'll be around lots of hot girls... etc.

By the way, this is untrue:



Because this ENTIRE post is about your frustration that this girl has removed herself from your 'audience' and is now no longer judging you in any way:



You are STILL trying to game her (and she is still trying to game you).

The problem is you have both reached the point where neither of you knows what else to do, and have both reverted to the low-odds strategy of "show I'm so indifferent that the other one HAS to crack and chase after me to try to make amends!"

You can pursue these lowest of low odds strategies... who knows, they have been known to work before on rare occasions...

But I would try something else.

If not game, I would look for some other angle guys use to get girls, be that money, fame, etc.

You're still trying to get girls, just like any guy. You're just using super ineffective means to try to get them.

Chase

The most common advice i get for SC is slower game compared to CA along with stuffs like discretion game etc
Would this work? Or is there some added elements involved?

And what do suggest to do when a girl plays hard to get in social circle? Pulling back is usually what i do tho

 

[DonGately]

Attractive guys don't get pegged as un-attractive by women. You have to change things in some fashion to be seen as more attractive: dress better, gym time, fix your hair, wear lifts, et al.