Hyper conscious and concerned about my face expressions whenever I go out

[alexhunter8]

I’m too hyper aware, conscious of my facial expressions and bodylanguage.
Everytime I go out in public or talk to strangers I can’t help but focus on what my face is doing. I think too hard to make the most friendly, bodylanguage ( including face expressions) so that people will like me

. I most probably have resting bitch face, which growing up I believe made other people feel intimidated to talk with me. I feel like an alien trying to mimic what a likable person looks like.
Added on top of that fire , I have intimidating looks due to beard and muscular physique + my deep voice + the intimidating way I carry myself.
I am not able to effectively socialise and befriend because I have to focus on all the things at a time which is causing me a lot of stress , overthinking etc and due to which it's also affecting my focus on the interaction and what to say...
All of the above are slightly affecting my social life and ability to befriend people slightly.
1) kindly help me what to do?
2) Do I have social anxiety or mild asperger or any other mental issue ? Should I consult a Psychiatrist and Psycologist?
3) what should I do to improve my social skills , social condition , bodylanguage and micronuances at the same time?

 

[OldGuy]

Early on, I was told I needed to smile. My face hurt for about 3 weeks until my muscles got used to smiling. (While you use fewer muscles to smile, they are different ones.) Try that first. Later you might try modifying the beard.

 

[gameboy]

Since you ask, and without meaning to troll you... to me it sounds like some form of autism. Might be a good idea to consult a professional.

 

[alexhunter8]

Since you ask, and without meaning to troll you... to me it sounds like some form of autism. Might be a good idea to consult a professional.

Ok .
Anything from the perspective of game ?
Any inputs / suggestions/ information

 

[Arnav]

I’m too hyper aware, conscious of my facial expressions and bodylanguage.
Everytime I go out in public or talk to strangers I can’t help but focus on what my face is doing. I think too hard to make the most friendly, bodylanguage ( including face expressions) so that people will like me

. I most probably have resting bitch face, which growing up I believe made other people feel intimidated to talk with me. I feel like an alien trying to mimic what a likable person looks like.
Added on top of that fire , I have intimidating looks due to beard and muscular physique + my deep voice + the intimidating way I carry myself.
I am not able to effectively socialise and befriend because I have to focus on all the things at a time which is causing me a lot of stress , overthinking etc and due to which it's also affecting my focus on the interaction and what to say...
All of the above are slightly affecting my social life and ability to befriend people slightly.
1) kindly help me what to do?
2) Do I have social anxiety or mild asperger or any other mental issue ? Should I consult a Psychiatrist and Psycologist?
3) what should I do to improve my social skills , social condition , bodylanguage and micronuances at the same time?

Lets look at the positives, you said you have a muscular physique + deep voice + beard those are ingredients for a pretty desirable masculine vibe.

If you want to take edge off it a bit, the eyes play a pretty big role.

Look at this

Vs look at this

The same muscular man, but with different facial expression , the first one has a winning smile, a soft gaze and eyes.

The second one has cold facial expression, direct strong gaze and eyes. No smile. This creates a totally diferent vibe.

=================


When you ask how to create a more friendly persona and shut off your brain, anxiety, and self-consciousness, the first thing to clarify is where the anxiety actually comes from.
Is this anxiety only present in social situations—especially during cold approaches?
Or is it more general in nature?
If it’s general, it may point to deeper psychological issues or past trauma. That’s not something we can diagnose without more detail.
But if the anxiety mainly shows up in social situations and cold approaches, then this is something you can work on directly.

So first taking about facial expressions
they are actually indicators of your internal emotional state. They’re not random they change mechanically based on what you’re feeling inside.
If you try to force facial expressions from the outside (for example, forcing a smile), it will usually feel stiff, unnatural, and mentally exhausting. Sometimes smiling can work in reverse and slightly improve your mood but generally, it’s more effective to improve your internal emotional state so the expression appears naturally.
So the real question becomes: how do you change your internal state?
Where to Start
For now, I would avoid social groups. They tend to be more anxiety-provoking because you’re dealing with multiple people and multiple judgments at once.
Instead, start with cold approach scenarios.
In these situations, anxiety often comes from trying to think about and control too many variables at once. That mental overload stacks stress on top of stress.
The solution is to approach this in phases.

Phase 1: Reducing Social Anxiety and Self-Consciousness
This phase is about turning down the emotional noise.
The most important tool here is repeated, continuous exposure, with as few gaps as possible. This is critical.

So start making 2 approaches every day without too many gaps, you can make 2 approaches everyday for 5 continous days sat,sun off 2 days gap i fine, bit you need the exposires to be very close together, when you do this

Anxiety may drop ~50% after 7 days
~30% by week 2
~10% by day 30
~1% by day 60
(These numbers aren’t scientific—they’re based on my experience but the general trend holds.)
At this stage, don’t focus on results, technique, or outcomes. Just show up and expose yourself repeatedly.

Phase 2: Emotional Calm and Pattern Recognition
Once your emotions settle down, your mind naturally gains more clarity.
Now you’ll begin to notice:
Girls’ reactions
Signals and feedback
Emotional shifts during the interaction
This is when patterns start to emerge, but only because anxiety is no longer blocking perception.

Phase 3: Conversation Anxiety
At this stage, social anxiety doesn’t disappear—it moves.
Now it shows up during conversations rather than before approaches.

The goal here is simple.
Have 2-minute bad conversations
Then 5-minute bad conversations
Calling them “bad conversations” is intentional. It removes the pressure to perform or be impressive.
You’re not trying to be smooth.
You’re collecting data.
You’re observing:
How girls respond to different questions
How emotional rhythm rises and falls
When interest increases or dips
Even if the conversation is boring, notice this:
She still gave you her time
She still contributed
There were no real social consequences
That realization alone dramatically reduces conversation anxiety.

Phase 4: Refinement and Nuance
Only after stacking enough boring conversations do you start refining.
Now you’ll have a sense of:
The overall flow of a conversation
Which questions spark emotion
Which topics kill momentum
This is where you begin adding nuance:
A warmer smile
A calmer, more confident tone
Removing questions that consistently drop the vibe
Expanding topics that light girls up (for some it’s travel, for others friends, passions, or stories.

Finally just remember you cannot work on everything at once. Your brain simply doesn’t have the bandwidth.
You must lock in one layer deeply into your subconscious until it becomes intuitive. Only then does mental space open up to analyze and refine the next layer.
That’s how real progress compounds—step by step, not all at once.

 

[alexhunter8]

Lets look at the positives, you said you have a muscular physique + deep voice + beard those are ingredients for a pretty desirable masculine vibe.

If you want to take edge off it a bit, the eyes play a pretty big role.

Look at this

Vs look at this

The same muscular man, but with different facial expression , the first one has a winning smile, a soft gaze and eyes.

The second one has cold facial expression, direct strong gaze and eyes. No smile. This creates a totally diferent vibe.

=================


When you ask how to create a more friendly persona and shut off your brain, anxiety, and self-consciousness, the first thing to clarify is where the anxiety actually comes from.
Is this anxiety only present in social situations—especially during cold approaches?
Or is it more general in nature?
If it’s general, it may point to deeper psychological issues or past trauma. That’s not something we can diagnose without more detail.
But if the anxiety mainly shows up in social situations and cold approaches, then this is something you can work on directly.

So first taking about facial expressions
they are actually indicators of your internal emotional state. They’re not random they change mechanically based on what you’re feeling inside.
If you try to force facial expressions from the outside (for example, forcing a smile), it will usually feel stiff, unnatural, and mentally exhausting. Sometimes smiling can work in reverse and slightly improve your mood but generally, it’s more effective to improve your internal emotional state so the expression appears naturally.
So the real question becomes: how do you change your internal state?
Where to Start
For now, I would avoid social groups. They tend to be more anxiety-provoking because you’re dealing with multiple people and multiple judgments at once.
Instead, start with cold approach scenarios.
In these situations, anxiety often comes from trying to think about and control too many variables at once. That mental overload stacks stress on top of stress.
The solution is to approach this in phases.

Phase 1: Reducing Social Anxiety and Self-Consciousness
This phase is about turning down the emotional noise.
The most important tool here is repeated, continuous exposure, with as few gaps as possible. This is critical.

So start making 2 approaches every day without too many gaps, you can make 2 approaches everyday for 5 continous days sat,sun off 2 days gap i fine, bit you need the exposires to be very close together, when you do this

Anxiety may drop ~50% after 7 days
~30% by week 2
~10% by day 30
~1% by day 60
(These numbers aren’t scientific—they’re based on my experience but the general trend holds.)
At this stage, don’t focus on results, technique, or outcomes. Just show up and expose yourself repeatedly.

Phase 2: Emotional Calm and Pattern Recognition
Once your emotions settle down, your mind naturally gains more clarity.
Now you’ll begin to notice:
Girls’ reactions
Signals and feedback
Emotional shifts during the interaction
This is when patterns start to emerge, but only because anxiety is no longer blocking perception.

Phase 3: Conversation Anxiety
At this stage, social anxiety doesn’t disappear—it moves.
Now it shows up during conversations rather than before approaches.

The goal here is simple.
Have 2-minute bad conversations
Then 5-minute bad conversations
Calling them “bad conversations” is intentional. It removes the pressure to perform or be impressive.
You’re not trying to be smooth.
You’re collecting data.
You’re observing:
How girls respond to different questions
How emotional rhythm rises and falls
When interest increases or dips
Even if the conversation is boring, notice this:
She still gave you her time
She still contributed
There were no real social consequences
That realization alone dramatically reduces conversation anxiety.

Phase 4: Refinement and Nuance
Only after stacking enough boring conversations do you start refining.
Now you’ll have a sense of:
The overall flow of a conversation
Which questions spark emotion
Which topics kill momentum
This is where you begin adding nuance:
A warmer smile
A calmer, more confident tone
Removing questions that consistently drop the vibe
Expanding topics that light girls up (for some it’s travel, for others friends, passions, or stories.

Finally just remember you cannot work on everything at once. Your brain simply doesn’t have the bandwidth.
You must lock in one layer deeply into your subconscious until it becomes intuitive. Only then does mental space open up to analyze and refine the next layer.
That’s how real progress compounds—step by step, not all at once.

But I don't have cold approach anxiety right now .
I used to have in the beginning , but now I can approach anyone even in high risk contexts ( triple sets , looked upon by many people etc ).
The above issues mentioned in my post specifically start internally when I am interacting with people SOMETIMES.
note that it is "sometimes " in general and " more severe " in social circle, " less severe " in cold approach interaction with stranger girl . What do u think ?

 

[Arnav]

But I don't have cold approach anxiety right now .
I used to have in the beginning , but now I can approach anyone even in high risk contexts ( triple sets , looked upon by many people etc ).
The above issues mentioned in my post specifically start internally when I am interacting with people SOMETIMES.
note that it is "sometimes " in general and " more severe " in social circle, " less severe " in cold approach interaction with stranger girl . What do u think ?

Its because you have a lot control in cold approach situations, you have read so much pua material and know the techniques, the right resposnes to various cold approach scnearious so your emotions have calmed down , repeated safe exposure+ good cold approach experiences+ deep knowledge

If your socia anxiety is more severe in social circles becuase your knowldge and pua techniques don't actually work in that turf and you also don't have any experience or skill in those situations.

In social circles your reputation is permanently damaged if you make mistakes and also there is a peecpetion about the kind of guy you are- nerd, sports star, dreamy musician or just average joe which is a little harder to change. So you need a diff set of knowldge skills and sucesses around social cirlces and your anxiety will drop in a similar manner to how it dropped in cold approach.

I think its better you improve your witt, humour. Frame control in cold approach situation and some of these skills are actually transferable to social circle. Then you can just practice them with various groups maybe your gym circle, join a short course, and try bringing value to the group. Being witty cool, being a bit more dominant. And also buikd up your knowledge and skill on how to handle social circle scenarios
When someone is inuslting you whats the right response, whats the right amount of aggression to show, when to be dominant when to be cooeprative, how to maintian your imafe in the group. (building up your knowledge skills + good winning experiences)

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

I’m too hyper aware, conscious of my facial expressions and bodylanguage.
Everytime I go out in public or talk to strangers I can’t help but focus on what my face is doing. I think too hard to make the most friendly, bodylanguage ( including face expressions) so that people will like me

. I most probably have resting bitch face, which growing up I believe made other people feel intimidated to talk with me. I feel like an alien trying to mimic what a likable person looks like.
Added on top of that fire , I have intimidating looks due to beard and muscular physique + my deep voice + the intimidating way I carry myself.
I am not able to effectively socialise and befriend because I have to focus on all the things at a time which is causing me a lot of stress , overthinking etc and due to which it's also affecting my focus on the interaction and what to say...
All of the above are slightly affecting my social life and ability to befriend people slightly.
1) kindly help me what to do?
2) Do I have social anxiety or mild asperger or any other mental issue ? Should I consult a Psychiatrist and Psycologist?
3) what should I do to improve my social skills , social condition , bodylanguage and micronuances at the same time?

Do you have any actor friends? Funny enough something popped up in a conversation might help you out. He was having trouble figuring out what he looked like as he was reading his scripts so he went and bought a standing mirror and now uses it when he’s practicing lines.

Aloha
MuSt0