Disclaimer: I am not a dating coach nor am I selling any dating products or services this blog is really for recreational usage to reflect on my previous experiences in daygame and to share my insi…
mindful-masculinity.org
wrote about my issues with "Michael Sartain " in full
Diving straight into one of the reasons i don't like about Sartain was when he came out and said Daygame/Cold Approach doesn't work when quite clearly it does i mean there would be no seduction community if it never worked ever - logically speaking. He also said that cold approach would get you arrested a bold statement and truly one I would define as complete and utter horse shit - I did cold approach for 7 years never had any issues with the police and i know countless other wings that had no issues. Why would you make a statement like that and deter men from making genuine progress in their dating lives. He then made another statement saying cold approach is “dead” and “creepy” really? If it's dead then how did I manage to get laid from it? Why did 10s of wings that I had also get laid from it? Why are you putting down the best way for the majority of men to meet women just so you can peddle your bullshit courses? I hate when coaches deliberately confuse their clients in order to upsell their own tedious bullshit. It happens a lot in self help culture and It irks me the wrong way- I also fell for it when i was Young - aged 21 i fell for Adam Lyons' bs about him never having been rejected in his whole life then went on copy his lines and bullshit routines as a result. ( They did not work unsurprisingly)
A Questionable Past?
Michael was allegedly lying about his height on a podcast during a podcast with Rollo Tommasi - said he was 6 ft 1 when he is actually 5 ft 11 with Rollo seemingly called him out with a ridiculous facial reaction once Sartain claimed he was 5'11 during a podcast . Why would you be so insecure as to actively lie about your height? It doesn't make sense to me- John Anthony already did a break down on why Michael was lying about his height using comparison photos .
Sartain has said iffy half truths about his career in the past which could be seen as lies - as they say a half truth always leads to a lie. Allegedly he’s bigged up his roll in the military as more than it actually is. I know John Anthony interviewed one of Michael's ex work colleagues who said Michael had exaggerated his career accomplishments in the past - this interview has since been deleted following the termination of John Anthony's youtube channel.
If he's lying about such mundane shit i don't know why anyone would bother taking advice of him - if you lie about your height and lie about the effectiveness of cold approaching women which has been around for decades and has brought about success for many men then what other stuff are you lying about?
Style Over Substance
Sartain speaks in a confident vocal tonne which is a classic technique salesmen use to make themselves sound a lot more intelligent than they actually are. He then "speaks quickly" which makes him look like he's saying intelligent stuff but when you stop and reflect you realise its just bullshit.Yeah - speak quick and make sure no one has a chance to reply or call things out against you. The classic Ben Shapiro-esque debating move of making yourself sound a lot more intelligent than you actually are. Again i used to fall for this a lot back in the day but once you're able to objectively assess what someone says rather than how they say it then you begin to see through the bullshit. When i was young any self help guru that spoke to me in a confident manner i'd immediately lap them up simply because of the way they spoke- nowadays I'm a lot more objective in my thought processes but I know a lot of men who get enticed by Michael Sartain's marketing photos and fall for his schtick.
His "Social circle game" involves organising fake charity events and inviting women then taking photos with said women- I mean I don't get how this guy can be taken seriously anyone with an ounce of experience can most likely see through the bullshit ( at least i hope they have the critical thinking skills to do so) Taking photos with women doesn’t mean anything , yes it may help on some occasions in terms of social proof when closing other women’s instas from daygame but even so Michael Sartain’s pictures seem outrageous and unrealistic- if I take a pic with 6 girls there’s no way in hell all 6 are dating me- also statistically speaking for every 12 women in a social group there would most likely be only 1 attracted to me to begin with. Also even if a woman would see that picture it most likely would seem cringe in terms of a social prove value perspective - probably best to have photos with 1 or 2 other women than whole heaps of women because it looks so cringe and try hard- most women will see through the illusion anyway. All together you are setting up men for unrealistic expectations when marketing yourself parties and videos with a lot of women like Sartain does with absolutely no context or proof of what is happening behind the scenes .
Just because you have photos with women doesn't mean you're dating them (sounds obvious but still a lot of naive men fall for it) and definitely doesn't mean they are attracted to you. It's very easy for anyone in the dating space to look a lot more successful than they are by either taking photos with hookers and showing them off or taking photos with women they are most likely friendzoned with or who have been paid to be at an event with no background or validation of an actual relationship occur ing between said guru and the women involved . It's easy for someone to fall for this marketing shtik if they're not experienced in being able to call out the bs when they see it.
It seems nowadays in the self help coaching culture if you "appear successful" or talk in a "confident manner" it seems to be enough to build an audience - most men who look for help in the dating space have too little reference experience or are simply too scared to be consistent enough approaching women to be able to think on their own terms to combat the bull shit that these "coaches" spew- the marketing element simply takes advantage of those with low experience or low critical thinking skills rather than showing what social circle building truly involves and thats a lot of hard work building connections + a lot of time and effort . Of course Sartain won't admit to that because he wants to sell his bullshit courses and wants to be seen as correct - despite seemingly having so little credentials to his name and he just seems inexperienced in terms of dating full stop because if he was he wouldn't say the shit about cold approach that he seemingly says every month or so in podcast interviews - that cold approach is dead, will get your arrested etc. . If Cold approach doesn't work then why did Tom Torero, Liam Mcrae, Nick Krauser etc. Forge their careers out of it? If its so shit then how did these guys get laid 100s of times from it. Why won't he answer that question? Ironically call your programme "Man of Action" then saying statements that deter action from men is somewhat contradictory to say the least .
The True Effectiveness of Social Circle Game
Social Circle is not something that the majority of men should prioritise when starting out As I said before it's something Sartain won't admit to because if he did it would lead to less sales. If you have little social skills starting out it's very difficult to build social circles to begin with and I'm talking about legitimate ones not fake poxy ones that Sartain is promoting.
Using an example at university I had a "social circle" of 40 "friends" ( i use that term loosely as they were more associates) which was at a university surfing club - in said circle which contained roughly 15 girls only 1 took a liking to me and i fucked things up with her - the yield was low and the room for error was low because this was prior to doing daygame and having experience. It's one thing to have attraction from a woman its another to develop the skills to be able to lead interactions when you're in them . If you're inexperienced you most likely will make mistakes that could cost you in seductions - or you might date women in your social circle and do something wrong on a date / there may be no spark- once you take an average social circle and you strip down all the women in it that are genuinely in said circle that like you most likely it's simply not enough for beginners and intermediates to build momentum - unless you're the highest "value" man in the social circle which will obviously depend on the person reading the blog - but there's a statistical probability you either aren't or maybe you genuinely are but the quality in your social circle isn't there to give you the experience you need . Even if things go well you may not get along with girls in your social circle/ or the spark might just not be there so you need to prep for this to happen if no new girls are not coming into the circle.
Social Circles Need to be Replenished all the time
The issue most beginners face is they lack experience to carry out dates - to solve this they need to play numbers and volume to garner successes . Social Circle doesn't really solve the sticking points that most men have which is lack of volume and lack of options - the majority of social circles are pretty static with the same women in them repeatedly - for social circle to work well you need fresh women coming in continually
In 2018 one of my best wingmen was a musician and he did well from social circle because every week he was performing at events with new women watching/ being in attendance all the time - fresh women (aged 19-23) were repeatedly coming into his life and he knew many club promoters who also had links to club nights which again would bring new women in each week. It didn't matter if one batch of women one week blew him out - the next week there would be a fresh batch. Contrast this to the majority of social circles in University and High school - if i get blown out by all the women in that circle/ the ones i like that circle is done. I can't garner any fresh experience from it unless a woman changes her mind about me which has probably happened around 0.3 percent of the time out of all my interactions with women. Again Im bating at very low odds here if this occurs and I'm unlikely going to get the progress and experience I really need to move forward.
Calcification Of Social Circles Post University-
I know , I know i've written about the "Calcification of social circles post university" before in my wingman guide but i just thought i reiterate the point again here regarding what happened to be after university ended. the women in my circles remained the same and were eventually taken by the time i was 23/24 . In fact most new social circles i was in had the same issues - all women were taken and no new young ones come in and everything calcifies and remains the same. Something which i wish social circle coaches would be honest about - the majority of men simply can't engineer a social life where young women are continually coming in unless they pick a career niche - one that worked well was when i volunteered at an animal rescue shelter in costa rica , granted i did this for like 2 weeks in 2017 but -the female to male ratio was like 4:1 and it was easy to do well in that environment. But i'd say the majority of social circles in "the west" favour women and are far harder for men to break into. If i succeed in social circle construction in Japan or China where the barriers to entry are low for a western man - its no guarantee that i can recreate this in San Fransisco or London.
Some examples of Low Cost Social Circle Game
Traveling - staying in hostels for examples is an easy way to build up a social circle - everyone is keen to meet in that environment and there are constantly new women flowing into the circle. I had some decent successes from hostel game in 2017 because there were constantly new women coming in every hostel i stayed at. It didn't matter if a batch of 10-20 blew me off there would always be new ones. The disadvantage was it was pretty competitive and usually a strong probability that in said environments there would be better looking people ready to amog me at any time. .
But of course the majority of people don't have the time to lay around in hostels or volunteer in animal shelters - Using an example of why social circle isn't good - My wingman used to coach alongside Alex Leon for the Natural Lifestyles who would be social circle teaching clients "social circle game" The issue was that the majority of men in their 30s and 40s don't have time to build social circles. To do well in dating and build impressive results you need volume and a tonne of it.The issue most beginners face is they lack experience to carry out dates - play numbers and volume to garner successes . Social Circle doesn't really solve the sticking points that most men have which is lack of volume and lack of options - the majority of social circles are pretty static with the same women in them repeatedly - for social circle to work well you need fresh women coming in continually . How many men realistically have the value and the time to create this? I'd say probably 5 percent of daygamers do - and even then its hard to build and maintain in a competitive city but i will give some examples of how it works::
In London in 2018 as i said before one of my wingmen was a musician and he did well from social circle because every week he was performing at events with women watching all the time - fresh women were repeatedly coming into his life and he knew many club promoters who also had links to club nights which again would bring fresh young women in each week. Of course the issue with my example is its not relatable to the majority of men reading this and I'm fully aware . The majority cannot quit their jobs and become musicians and club promoters - most people can't afford to move their career to "girl heavy industries" like fashion , art etc. In regards to my musician friend I managed to garner a relationship with him through a pua forum lending him my spare room in my house in London for him to sleep with women- I was able to utilise my value to him and in turn he got me in the tables at nightclubs he performed at. This worked well for me and garnered me an impressive lay in London with a British woman thanks to his club network - but I understand a lot of beginners starting out in the competitive world in London may not be able to find the links that can garner them that sort of lifestyle or they might not be able to contribute the value to get them into these circles.
The majority of men including myself in most situations can't add value to get into these high circles. Of course this is dependent on the circle and specific situations . For example when doing daygame in China or Japan it was very easy for me to get into decent social circles and find people to hang out with simply with my status as a British foreigner. In other environments it was infinitely tougher. The places where i spent the majority of my life: Nice (South Of France) , London and San Fransisco simply being a foreigner didn't mean anything . It wasn't anywhere near enough to hook interest from women- you had to be a lot more. In cities as diverse as those the competition was high and the wealth of elite men could really be seen simply by seeing the instagrams of the women i'd close who would often get free holidays to Dubai , Saudi Arabia , Kuwait etc. Even being wealthy and successful was not enough to stand out in cities like Nice and London which are full of high status men.
Navigating social circles also proved tough- i was able to get into one "elite" social circle in London - but the men would just procrastinate using their wealth to fuck prostitutes and 90 percent of the women were either taken or not interested. It wasn't the environment that was going to take my dating life to the next level despite the glitz and the glam involved. Even in the clubs the competition was intense too and it was difficult to stand out despite my friends' purchasing tables and "bottles" .There would always seemingly be some table with higher profile more elite men nearb. In contrast to places like China or Japan where women would occasionally even ask for photos with me due to me being a foreigner- the difference in terms of social circle development was huge. East Asia simply required a lot less time and effort. West Europe required intense work but it was interesting to experience the huge contrast between the two which I will be documenting - from my experiences in the West it's easy to conclude that the majority of men won't be able to build effective social circles with new women coming in continually - i just don't think it's feasible nor realistic and i think those who promote social circle game in the west aren't really showing the true picture of how difficult it is for the majority of men- in contrast daygame wise i've seen men from ages to 18-45 succeed in getting lays and improving their results - i think it is the best solution for the majority of men and anyone who argues otherwise is simply wrong in my book.
Not to mention that post university the women in my circles remained the same and were eventually taken by the time i was aged 23/24 . In fact most new social circles I "got into" in London had the same issues - all women were taken and no new young ones come in and everything calcifies and remains the same. Something which i wish social circle coaches would be honest about - as i said before the majority of men simply can't engineer a social life were young women are continually coming in unless they pick a career niche - one that worked well was when i volunteered at an animal rescue shelter in costa rica (as i mentioned prior) , granted i did this for like 2 weeks in 2017 -the female to male ratio was like 4:1 and it was easy to do well in that environment but again this isn't a relatable example for the majority of men to work with . But as i said the majority of social circles in "the west" favour women and are far harder for men to break into. Your average 30 year old man is unlikely to offer enough value to break into these circles - and even if he does the majority of women in the social circle won't like him or will already be taken so it won't be very time efficient.
I still think you can bring girls from daygame into social circles with the social circles providing "social proof" it's a good way to work long term with leads and build rapport. I used to use my social circles in london for that reason . Social circles are definitely not useless but for the majority of men aren't going to be what they need to build significant volume of women to garner experiences especially in your late 20s and 30s imo. They are still good " social proofs" to aid with securing lays from the maybe girls - i've used this to my advantage in Dubai and London but even those social circles i built were from cold approach rather than hosting charity events as Sartain suggests
I mean look at the picture above- if you have a picture with 4 women what does it mean? Quintessentially it means jack shit - it's just marketing - we don't know the real opinion of these girls with Sartain - its highly unlikely that he's dating all 4 or even 1 . What the hell would one even garner being in a photo with them? If i had this photo on my instagram most likely the majority of women would think I'm cringe and a try hard and most likely wouldn't give a shit. It may even get them to thinking I'm some sort of man whore too and ruin the "specialness" of the original interaction if she sees your instagram is just loaded with dozens of other women - excessive anything on your instagram isn't good (as i wrote before in my social media guide)
Cream always Rises to the Top -
Be Honest about how effective you are in your circles
The cream always rises to the top - i say to anyone doing social circle that it's hard for the newbs to navigate and its best to get a good rock solid fundamentals of daygame first and then try social circle . Every woman in my social circles that liked me at university i fucked it up due to my lack of experience. Had i done a few 100 daygame approaches prior and built experience over time i may have been able to prevent those failures. Good, consistent experience in daygame for men is invaluable imo and can improve the other forms of game - social circle and online game - the more experience you have the better you will be able to navigate opportunities . If you rely on social circle alone you are unlikely to get the volume you need to garner nor the reference experience to get better at relationships. By Sartain saying that "cold approach will get you arrested" which from my experience i have never seen anyone get in trouble with the police for - people are unlikely to get the experience they need to thrive in social circle and dating. Which in turn is going to lead them to be unable to take advantage of situations that can go well in their social circle game anyhow. The whole thing just seems like quasi- procrastination to protect people from getting hurt and actually facing their fears approaching by being proactive and approaching women up-front. You don't need to pay $1000s of dollars to Sartain to get good with women you can easily listen to free tom torero podcasts instead and be proactive and consistent approaching and achieve better results without spending a dime. Investing that time to meet better wingmen which can be done for free by simply persistently scouring wingmen forums is a great way and I've formed many good relationships as a result without needing to pay for "courses" or "coaching" .
In regards to other coaches shilling "Social Circle Game" Alex León is a coach i've admired for a while but i've had wings who've coached along side him who say customers complain that his social circle methods which were similar to Sartain's just weren't relatable or feasible for the majority of men to do - hang around night clubs at night , go to the Maldives to take pics with chicks , get a club table in Miami and photo bomb photos with women does this really solve socialisation problems? I just don't think it does. Especially for men with busy careers who want to increase their options - i know Ross Jeffries (whom i don't really like) called out Sartain for phoney marketing with social circle game and Sartain's answers were "you get other people to pay for the table and get the hot girls there when you buy my course" or something along those lines- just seems like pure bs. Again you don't need much experience in doing game to see through bullshit and with Sartain my bs detector just wont stop. There was even a photo of Alex León on a private jet and in all honesty the women looked mid - of course its great to have that circle but the majority of men simply can't afford or have the time to construct that sort of lifestyle and even then - is a group of Ukrainian women fleeing war on a island in the Maldives really a sustainable way to build a relationships or find a future wife? You fuck them on an island in the Maldives and then what? You bring them back to Europe? You marry them so they can use you for a passport? What is the endgame exactly? For a method that costs so much it doesn't seem to provide much of a long term solution to men- again the majority would be better listening to free content podcasts - then applying it to get good wingmen in their cities and have consistent foundations of approaching before investing $10,000s into social circle game - arguably you could get better foot flows of women by gaming near hostels repeated or in tourist areas.
It sounds like im being a bitter hater of course - no doubt. But I know people who have worked side by side with Alex Leon and the complaints are that his methods are un-relatable to the majority. If you're in your early 20s and can afford this lifestyle go for it- but i've been in similar situations and found - the majority of women won't like me anyway, they are just there because they are being paid or sponsored, the long term relationship potential with post of these women is next to zero as they rely on whatever sugar daddy is paying them , genuine desire still needs game and smv - simply being around lots of women doesn't fix the fundemental issues which take a lot more practice.
Why High-school and University is hell for most young men
In many ways what I've said about the disadvantages of social circle game is the explanation as to why highschool and university is so difficult for young men. You go to highschool there's a set group of attractive women that usually get fucked by the top tier men and you get a small amount of men fucking the majority of the girls - so you're essentially stuck in the same circle unless you go out and do new things to meet new women - hence why my university and high school "love life" was so poor - i was essentially a mid tier guy who watches the higher tier women get soaked up by the higher tier men and was too shy to really expand my options properly. Doing more activities as young as possible when you have time and being committed to cold approaching as early as possible are the best ways to break the rut. But showing commitment to breaking ruts over years rather than a few days or weeks is what really matters. All this is really easier said than done. Me typing out advice on a wordpress blog is the easy shit actually committing to cold approach over years at a time is the hard thing that will actually get you results. But on reflection School and University can still be painful experiences for the majority of men if they are not working on actually increasing their options.
Concluding Notes
Its fine to build social circles , especially if you're in your early 20s. Just don't get took overexcited looking at these videos and think that Sartain and Leon are going to give you some sort of lifehack into getting 100s of women into your circle - at least in the west that's not going to happen for the majority of men unless you have : Massive smv v the men around you, unique skillsets v the men around you, a way or a situation in which new women are coming in constantly , huge amounts of money to invest in a social circle building (see Alex Leon in the Maldives) - be honest whether you have these or not then decide if it's worth the time to embark on '"Social Circle game" but just make sure you get your daygame done first and get practicing- you don't need marketers to show you the way - self discipline and consistency in meeting people trumps all which is something which said marketers don't want you to know - because if you did you'd never buy their nonsense courses to begin with.
