I Have It.... Until I Don't

[Mr Mistah]

Hey gents.

Scratching my head on this one and would appreciate an outsiders perspective.

I was at a party. Late night. 10pm. Loud music. Screams and yapping

We were playing cards and I ended up talking with this girl on the couch

Nice body. Upbeat personality

She says I'm easy to talk to. I feel the same way about her. There's a natural rapport there - no awkward conversation hump in the beginning

And her banter and humour is top notch

Somewhere in the convo she makes a smooth number ask with "Suppose I was to send you money. How would I reach you" and gave me her phone to put in my no.

The delivery was real smooth. I gave it to her

Some where along the way I make a sex joke. I misconstrued something she said and she doesn't flinch or laugh.

Makes it seem like sex is not a problem and I go "oh?"

I can't remeber exactly what I said. Was tipsy

As the night progresses her sister starts calling her about going home and she says she wants to leave bc she stays abit far. Maybe grab a bite on the way home

I haven't done serious heavy physical escalation but I asked her to show me her jewellery. Showed her mine

A lot of incidental touch her and there

She doesn't seem like a turned on girl - just a chatty flirty one with good banter

But I don't let all that mental math stop me from trying to isolate. I tell her we can go get food together as she goes home.

Doesn't bite.

We stayed around more.

We are in a social space so I keep getting interrupted by friends coming to tell me sth. Other guys talking to her as well

Basically, we are at a cards table and not isolated. But I sit back in silence, when the interrupters are done she keeps coming back to me

Except for one guy who seems kinda into? She'd go there then come back and I asked her do you like tge guy

She goes "Nooooooooooo ewwww I don't like guys like him"

I nod my head. But they way she was following him around - I call BS

Worth mentioning is that when the party started my energy was on 10. But as the night progressed my energy tanked

So I was more chill. She noticed and asked if I'm good, told her yea.

She brought me pizza. Made me take a bite out of hers. The pizza went fast that night with hungry drunk folks descending on it like crazy so that was kinda considerate

She disappears again. Probably to same guy. And at this point I couldnt be very bothered

I'm just chilling on my phone.

I have cotton mouth so when she comes back again I ask her to give me gum. She asks why? you wanna kiss me?

I laugh and say no, I have cotton mouth

She disappears again and comes back again to ask if I'm really okay and if I want sth

I guess my energy shift from 10 to a 4 made it look like I'm on suicide watch or sth. So I assure her I'm fine

Tell her only thing I want is her. Hold her by the chin and into her eyes

So far her body language has been good. She's close and I'm anchored on the couch not leaning not moving too much. Zen.

She's leans alot of the time and is physically close.

So after I tell her that she asks do you have a car? I say no but there's a cool room down the hall I can show you

She laughs and says she's too classy for that. We can do a movie date next week and make out there if you want

She goes back to the other dude.

I dont think much of it but I reckon my low state may be cramping the parties style and make me look out of place so I take a lap talking to my boys to see if I can get energy up

I later hear that she was concerned that I had gone and had been asking for me. She cares I guess but she's with the other dude and doing this appear/disappear act

Meh. I get tired and decide to go home

I try one last hail mary as I leave tryinh to signal for her to come with me. Doesn't quite get the hint or ignores (who knows).

Anyway long story short we went separate ways and now I'm like what tf was that?

One minute I have it next minute I dont. She seemed attracted to me earlier asking people if I was around girls in the previous party. Until her attention shifted to tge new dude with tge ocassional checkins on me

My hypothesis is either

- She's attracted but not enough. Just a convenient like. Likes the other guy more
- I missed some escalation window that I can't see
- My low energy state from high energy state made her loose interest


This story is abit all over the place, I know but would appreaciate any pointers on whatever it is I missed

I havent texted her yet. Thanks

 

[OldGuy]

Text her to set up movie date. Tipsy and tired is a poor condition for an escalation attempt.

 

[gameboy]

"you want to kiss me" -> you say YES not no!

Or better yet: "maybe..." gazing at her as if you were considering it, doing triangle gaze...

 

[Mr Mistah]

Text her to set up movie date. Tipsy and tired is a poor condition for an escalation attempt.

Okay. So you reckon this is more of a state issue than a skill issue?

"you want to kiss me" -> you say YES not no!

Or better yet: "maybe..." gazing at her as if you were considering it, doing triangle gaze...

Yeah in hindsight I could have played that better. I suppose I didn't want to seem to obvious/easy

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Now this is how you write a field report

^footage of me after reading this.

This is what a real situation looks like.

Hey gents.

Scratching my head on this one and would appreciate an outsiders perspective.

I was at a party. Late night. 10pm. Loud music. Screams and yapping

Ideal situation. I literally surprised cause I never read house party scenarios anymore.

We were playing cards and I ended up talking with this girl on the couch

Nice body. Upbeat personality

She says I'm easy to talk to. I feel the same way about her. There's a natural rapport there - no awkward conversation hump in the beginning

A little bit of a technical problem here.

Are you just easy to talk to in general?
Or easy to talk to because shse already finds your attractive?

No one ever knows for sure.

From an OG's perspective - the real problem here is that good instant convo can mean good instant GIRLFRIEND, as opposed to lover.

The danger of easy convo, easy rapport, aka easy comfort is that comfort before attraction puts you in the friend zone (or the boy friend zone)

• Friend Zone - girls with good bodies do need male friends, but the male friends need to be guys not trying to smash, not guys hanging around and waiting to smash. Most girls, cannot or do not or will not try to figure this out.
• Boy Friend zone - you're foxy, you're a good conversation - maybe this could go somewhere - but she needs to not let the environment and atmosphere fry her brain.

And her banter and humour is top notch

All of this is in my experience. Others have different experiences.

Can be a good sign or a bad sign.

• Some chicks have no girl game.
  • Girl game leads you to interact more, to get her to react more, but also expose your own flaws
    • funny, bubbly, effervescent
    • quick to laugh
    • somewhat provocative
• Some chicks have "guy" game.
  • actually funny/comedian funny
    • Is it real?
      • why is she like that?
    • If it's not real, when does she break back into her girly (weak, dependent, nagging, but in a "cute" way)
• Some chicks have "submissive" game
  • They give you nothing and hope you take the hint and take the lead
  • And even then, unless you're 100% sure of yourself, she'll freak out. YaReally used to quote the Joker -
    • "Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying!"
• Some chicks have "hot girl" game - Kinda meta, kinda flighty, not sure if she's on the level, and she's not sure either.
  • Related to submissive game - but the reason many of them tend to date a-holes - is that the guys are too dumb/oblivious to catch on to how she's behaving, or the guy knows and doesn't care (and he'll do what he wants, and she's not responsible)

In general, most guys don't find women to be outright funny. Not funny in a guy way.

Usually girls are only Funny in a girl way, to other girls. Literally the only women I know that are side-splittingly funny are my 2 favorite aunts. And that's only in family situations.

Somewhere in the convo she makes a smooth number ask with "Suppose I was to send you money. How would I reach you" and gave me her phone to put in my no.

The delivery was real smooth. I gave it to her

So this is her showing interest.

Some where along the way I make a sex joke. I misconstrued something she said and she doesn't flinch or laugh.

Makes it seem like sex is not a problem and I go "oh?"

I can't remeber exactly what I said. Was tipsy

Depending on the joke, timing, timing after the receipt of the #, or the vibe, this might have been a mistake.

Thank Jah, that there are experts on sexual talk on this forum. I'm not one of them.

In terms of raising the heat, I prefer

• Implying is better than saying
• Letting her infer is better than implying.
• Touching is better than speaking.

Going this route is more in line with who I am, but I'm gonna miss out on chicks that aren't subtle. And it's the loud and blatant chicks, the "bad girls", that I tend to gravitate towards.... *shrugs*

Every pull/attempt is full of technical errors that could be fatal, and some that mean nothing.

You can really get down to the moment by moment, give and take, push and pull of a conversation - but it's just hard to take that data and truly use it in the next interaction. IMO.

As the night progresses her sister starts calling her about going home and she says she wants to leave bc she stays abit far. Maybe grab a bite on the way home

I haven't done serious heavy physical escalation but I asked her to show me her jewellery. Showed her mine

A lot of incidental touch her and there

She doesn't seem like a turned on girl - just a chatty flirty one with good banter

But I don't let all that mental math stop me from trying to isolate. I tell her we can go get food together as she goes home.

Doesn't bite.

We stayed around more.

In terms of the attraction/comfort/smash timeline

All of that stuff is going on all at once, but since you started the interaction with a good chat, and I have no idea how much "polarization" you put together - she's not turned on despite having good rapport.

It's this sort of "defensive" girl game that gives "plausible deniability" because nothing means anything. Everything is fluid and flowing. Girls love positions where they can't be pinned down, but they can pin you down. Work, Dating, Finances, Food...all the power and none of the accountability.

It's good that you're attempting to escalate after some stealth kino (where you commanded the frame! So extra bonus points here.)

But as cooperation tests go,

• She didn't rock with flirty comment
• She did rock with obvious and allowable kino
• She didn't rock with locking her time and freedom down.

Passed 1 out of 3 cooperation/compliance hoops.

We are in a social space so I keep getting interrupted by friends coming to tell me sth. Other guys talking to her as well

Basically, we are at a cards table and not isolated. But I sit back in silence, when the interrupters are done she keeps coming back to me

It's a good sign that she comes back to you, all things considered.

At the same time, you're not otherwise occupied with hotter competition when she returns.

In a sense, she's more valuable.

The one who least cares is the one that controls.

It's a standard paradox that makes you think you need to take "massive action" (c) Tony Robbins.

Because you can only take action or do nothing.

Take action - you lose
Do nothing - you lose

Standard double bind.

Now the thing here is that you're gonna feel kinda phony chatting up people specifically because she's off chatting with someone else.

Much like those silly "if she texts you back in 5 minutes, you text back in 10, even though you're doing nothing"

Is she talking to others, walking up to others, entertaining others on purpose - just to make you mad?

Is she knowingly taking your rapport for granted, knowing that you'll be waiting for her?

You just don't know. Some girls are intentional, but most girls are not thinking on that level.

She might notice consciously, but maybe not.

So the solution to this situation is that you need to always be genuinely engaged with others.

Not feigning engagement as to play a trick.

PUAs have game, they don't play games.

Like we always say - the problem in step 2 was a problem from step 1.

Except for one guy who seems kinda into? She'd go there then come back and I asked her do you like tge guy

She goes "Nooooooooooo ewwww I don't like guys like him"

I nod my head. But they way she was following him around - I call BS

Calling out her sexuality is always a great move, because it puts her on the defensive. But you gotta do something with it.

The play here, might be a boyfriend destroyer.

Or you might insist on your frame "You're using me to make him jealous..." - and she either goes deeper into defense, or she plays along.

Either way - you've flipped the double bind - because whichever she's further engaged.

She has only so much time, some much attention span, so much energy.

Worth mentioning is that when the party started my energy was on 10. But as the night progressed my energy tanked

Typical. Happens to us all.

So I was more chill. She noticed and asked if I'm good, told her yea.


She brought me pizza. Made me take a bite out of hers. The pizza went fast that night with hungry drunk folks descending on it like crazy so that was kinda considerate

This is good LTR type behavior.
It can also be a trap.

But instant conversational rapport and her bringing you food have to be balanced with her talking with the competition.

Classic mixed messages - unconscious girl game at it's finest - and most typical.

She disappears again. Probably to same guy. And at this point I couldnt be very bothered

I'm just chilling on my phone.

Natural reaction - but just like before this social isolation thing is working against you. It's nice that she cares and comes back - but what are you doing when she comes back?

How come the party isn't where you are?

Guys want to play the stoic, silent, laconic, brooding soul - but that's not what girls are interested in.

The problem here was that you weren't playing a role, just dog tired.

This is a problem in this stage of the game, because of earlier stages.

Interesting that you're there on the couch, but would have enough energy to fold her over....

I have cotton mouth so when she comes back again I ask her to give me gum. She asks why? you wanna kiss me?

I laugh and say no, I have cotton mouth

The fact that you're telling her to do stuff for you is a plus.

Missed opportunity.

• Dead serious - You been waiting to kiss me all night
• With a smirk - I don't know where that mouth's been
• *be actively but comedically repulsed* - I'm a good Christian boy, I would never

The goal is to be that center of energy - even though you're drunk and tired at this point. (there's a reason night game guys only rock with club soda and lime)

She disappears again and comes back again to ask if I'm really okay and if I want sth

I guess my energy shift from 10 to a 4 made it look like I'm on suicide watch or sth. So I assure her I'm fine

Tell her only thing I want is her. Hold her by the chin and into her eyes

So far her body language has been good. She's close and I'm anchored on the couch not leaning not moving too much. Zen.

She's leans alot of the time and is physically close.

Okay, bold move.

So after I tell her that she asks do you have a car? I say no but there's a cool room down the hall I can show you

She laughs and says she's too classy for that. We can do a movie date next week and make out there if you want

Stage 0 - issue. Lifestyle/passive game will kill you time and time again.

The way to play this is to grab her hand and go, and not to the bedroom. I don't know the layout of the spot though.

Moving a chick from place to place is exciting for her.

Physical >> Verbal

She goes back to the other dude.

I dont think much of it but I reckon my low state may be cramping the parties style and make me look out of place so I take a lap talking to my boys to see if I can get energy up

Smart.

I later hear that she was concerned that I had gone and had been asking for me. She cares I guess but she's with the other dude and doing this appear/disappear act

Meh. I get tired and decide to go home

Yeah, there was something there with this girl.

In general, relationships are partially sexual/predatory, but also cooperative/protective. Relationships need both throughout. But they tend to be more sexual at the start, and more of a partnership as it goes on. Standard pop psychology here.

On our side

• If you smash a chick and want to make sure she's safe - that's a sign that you're falling in love (one of them brain chemicals)
• If you smash a chick and don't want to walk her to her Uber - that's a sign that it was all about the nookie.

On their side

• Chicks want to get smashed a lot more often than they let on, but
• They rarely want to smash random dudes (house parties are quasi-social circle, which is why they're the best environment)
• When they do smash, even if she knows it's one night stand/short term thing for her - she still wants/requires boyfriend treatment even if she hates it. "I better get my free packets of ketchup even though I'm gonna throw them out" type energy

What you had - is her giving the softer side before the harder side.

A chick being kind and helpful is literally the most powerful weapon they have, even more than their face/body/bedroom skills. You'll read lots of stories about men that remember random encounters with the opposite sex where the chick was just kind - that's how starved we are as a gender. (I literally remember some girl giving me a bottle of water because I was hot. Never got a chance to date her, and she stayed on the market for a while before she got snatched up. good for her)

In my experience, When chicks pull the sex-mommy type move - it can almost trigger your own protective but also sexual instincts.

So this typical mixed signal move - where she treats you nice, gives you her #, doesn't want you to eat food with her after the party, checks if you have a car, doesn't want to go with you to some room in the house,

All of it says to me - in that moment - you were a possible boyfriend and she was showing you how she could be helpful to you.

The problem is that she might show that kind side to many guys, not realizing that being a good person to a man results in assymmetrical responses.

I try one last hail mary as I leave tryinh to signal for her to come with me. Doesn't quite get the hint or ignores (who knows).

Anyway long story short we went separate ways and now I'm like what tf was that?

You were coming with ONS energy, and she was coming with LTR energy.

But she doesn't seem to understand that to get you to be a BF - she needs to first be your whore.

This is really a throwback problem - because these days, imo, these chicks are focused on their own sexual pleasure, and not particulalry interested in building a life with a guy - because she can thinks that she can do everything she needs on her own....

One minute I have it next minute I dont. She seemed attracted to me earlier asking people if I was around girls in the previous party. Until her attention shifted to tge new dude with tge ocassional checkins on me

I'm not really sure what to make of her split attention, other than she's keeping her options open. Maybe she was gonna smash ol boy first, and then catch a date with you and see how it went.

We just don't know.

I don't think you made a lot of errors.

• Recognizing the attraction/comfort thing maybe. (instant rapport can be a killer)
• AMOG'ing the competition. (lemme meet your boyfriend)
• Using the environment to be more the life of the party (low energy sitting on the couch)
• Understanding the escalation window (with the kiss thing)
• Understanding the wishy-washy compliance (not sure if you could, but having better but smaller cooperation tasks)
• Knowing her specific behavior versus the general model. (*shrugs*)

All of these things could have went either way, and not made any difference.

When I get a chick giving me instant rapport, I just assume I can smash, but I wonder if I want to. That's my frame of mind. 99 times of out 100, I'm the most interesting person she's ever talked to...Not because I'm particularly smart and witty, but I'm reactive and wear my emotions on my sleeve. Because chicks are emotional - I use emotions.

In the interest phase

• Before the broad talks to me, or I talk to her - I want to be talking to others.
• I try to create conflict so that she can create resolution. That's part frame game and part cooperation - and that builds into interest.
• I want to get her logistics - she didn't come in a car
• Screen her - whatever's important to you
• Qualify her - whatever's gonna make her think she's special
• Inadvertent touches

In the trust phase

• I want to meet the calling sister.
• I want to meet her #2 guy
• Have you met my homies?
• I want to take this chick around and meet everyone at the party and have conversations with them
• On purpose touches

In the action phase

• Logistics solved in phase 1 - the need for a car, her plans to go eat, the sister, the white knight other guy, the rest of the people at the party
• Get her back to wherever
• And then 2 steps forward, 1 step back, and smash with consent and condom.

All in all, I think you did good.

I would have recognized that she was looking for something more but I don't necessarily know if I would have done better with the mixed signals of rapping to the other guy. Cause you can meet him and AMOG him, or you can AMOG him by putting a bug in her ear.

But the rest of her behavior suggests she wasn't trying to smash in the spare bedroom, but might be open to some Netflix and Chill.

WIA

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Hey gents.

Scratching my head on this one and would appreciate an outsiders perspective.

I was at a party. Late night. 10pm. Loud music. Screams and yapping

We were playing cards and I ended up talking with this girl on the couch

Nice body. Upbeat personality

She says I'm easy to talk to. I feel the same way about her. There's a natural rapport there - no awkward conversation hump in the beginning

And her banter and humour is top notch

Somewhere in the convo she makes a smooth number ask with "Suppose I was to send you money. How would I reach you" and gave me her phone to put in my no.

The delivery was real smooth. I gave it to her

Some where along the way I make a sex joke. I misconstrued something she said and she doesn't flinch or laugh.

Makes it seem like sex is not a problem and I go "oh?"

I can't remeber exactly what I said. Was tipsy

As the night progresses her sister starts calling her about going home and she says she wants to leave bc she stays abit far. Maybe grab a bite on the way home

I haven't done serious heavy physical escalation but I asked her to show me her jewellery. Showed her mine

A lot of incidental touch her and there

She doesn't seem like a turned on girl - just a chatty flirty one with good banter

But I don't let all that mental math stop me from trying to isolate. I tell her we can go get food together as she goes home.

Doesn't bite.

We stayed around more.

We are in a social space so I keep getting interrupted by friends coming to tell me sth. Other guys talking to her as well

Basically, we are at a cards table and not isolated. But I sit back in silence, when the interrupters are done she keeps coming back to me

Except for one guy who seems kinda into? She'd go there then come back and I asked her do you like tge guy

She goes "Nooooooooooo ewwww I don't like guys like him"

I nod my head. But they way she was following him around - I call BS

Worth mentioning is that when the party started my energy was on 10. But as the night progressed my energy tanked

So I was more chill. She noticed and asked if I'm good, told her yea.

She brought me pizza. Made me take a bite out of hers. The pizza went fast that night with hungry drunk folks descending on it like crazy so that was kinda considerate

She disappears again. Probably to same guy. And at this point I couldnt be very bothered

I'm just chilling on my phone.

I have cotton mouth so when she comes back again I ask her to give me gum. She asks why? you wanna kiss me?

I laugh and say no, I have cotton mouth

She disappears again and comes back again to ask if I'm really okay and if I want sth

I guess my energy shift from 10 to a 4 made it look like I'm on suicide watch or sth. So I assure her I'm fine

Tell her only thing I want is her. Hold her by the chin and into her eyes

So far her body language has been good. She's close and I'm anchored on the couch not leaning not moving too much. Zen.

She's leans alot of the time and is physically close.

So after I tell her that she asks do you have a car? I say no but there's a cool room down the hall I can show you

She laughs and says she's too classy for that. We can do a movie date next week and make out there if you want

She goes back to the other dude.

I dont think much of it but I reckon my low state may be cramping the parties style and make me look out of place so I take a lap talking to my boys to see if I can get energy up

I later hear that she was concerned that I had gone and had been asking for me. She cares I guess but she's with the other dude and doing this appear/disappear act

Meh. I get tired and decide to go home

I try one last hail mary as I leave tryinh to signal for her to come with me. Doesn't quite get the hint or ignores (who knows).

Anyway long story short we went separate ways and now I'm like what tf was that?

One minute I have it next minute I dont. She seemed attracted to me earlier asking people if I was around girls in the previous party. Until her attention shifted to tge new dude with tge ocassional checkins on me

My hypothesis is either

- She's attracted but not enough. Just a convenient like. Likes the other guy more
- I missed some escalation window that I can't see
- My low energy state from high energy state made her loose interest


This story is abit all over the place, I know but would appreaciate any pointers on whatever it is I missed

I havent texted her yet. Thanks

Pretty sure she was giving you big hints dude.
At the “do you wanna miss me ?” Comment I’d have said “ yeah” in a deep voice and just looked at her serious, held the space and let the tension hang between you two.
In other words - like poker - call it.
Call her on her flirt game.
She’s flirting between you and the other guy like a bee. dropping hints. She wanted either of you by the looks of it.

next time make a move earlier. Or flirt w her back at the first signs. Unusually touch.
Touch the side of her arm pretending to mishear her “what was that you said?”
Touch her on the knee when saying something funny “oh man (touch) that was so funny”

examine her necklace if you feel bold and let the back of your hand rest on the top of her breasts. “Nice necklace , can I inspect?” And while holding the necklace - look deep into her eyes

all solid flirting moves in my repertoire.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

And then if she reciprocates..
Take her by the hand and say “you really gotta check out this BATHROOM.. it’s off the hook crazy in there!! D”

then lead her in there as she giggles…




and Bang her in the bathroom stall

jk.

That’s advanced .

 

[Mr Mistah]

All in all, I think you did good.

Thanks man.

I'm amazed at how you took a short snippet of an interaction and zoomed in x1,000 to catch all these small details and minutae.

Definetly learnt something.

A few notes:

- In my mind I wasn't doing the sad, laconic, brooding guy. I was doing cool, suave James Bond sat on a couch chilling - I guess this doesn't always translate and it's better to be life of the party

- Quick rapport here means we didn't take long before getting to hook point.
We were on GO off the rip. Banter, joking, cutting her off to introduce her to literally everybody in a troll-like fashion. Similar to the "Have you met Ted" gimick from HIMYM

Admittedly there may have lacked an evident polarising man-to-woman frame. I'll look into that

- AMOG is something I may have overlooked. Maybe because I see how easy it is to slip into social climbing/putting others down territory.

My default when dealing with competition/interrupters is to lean back. The girls always come back.

But I'm starting to consider that this may be a limiting tool - passive even. I will revisit the topic

- Its not lost on me how important it is to use the room/environment to your advantage - social proof from other girls, holding court, having fun, bringing the energy etc

While I use them now and them I sometimes can't help but feel like those things are crutches for lack of personality.

My current thesis is that I come off as a non threat and non polarizing presence, so I need to work on my wit and creating tension and eye contact

As it is people call me "cool" "nonchalant" - which I take as a compliment but also maybe a sign that I lack fire.

I ran a social proof routine last Friday with my female friend - stroking her hair in public, have rest her ass on my crotch as we looked into the crowds, whispering into my ear, spinning her around, hugging etc

I got so much interest from girls that day.

But what about a day like this when I don't have her with me to use as a prop? Can my personality carry me through the day?

99 times of out 100, I'm the most interesting person she's ever talked to...Not because I'm particularly smart and witty, but I'm reactive and wear my emotions on my sleeve. Because chicks are emotional - I use emotions.

This is a very interesting statement.

Can you break it down more?

What is emotional?

How are you emotional without giving too much comfort/bf/ friend zone energy?

But the rest of her behavior suggests she wasn't trying to smash in the spare bedroom, but might be open to some Netflix and Chill.

Thanks. I know I'll see her again so I'll try making something happen with everything you've said in mind

 

[Mr Mistah]

next time make a move earlier. Or flirt w her back at the first signs.

For sure. I think I should have been more polarizing

 

[Mr Mistah]

Update:

We met again at house party on Friday.

Around 6pm serving food she comes up to me and calls me to the side.

Tells me she wants to apologize for anything she might have done on Friday.

Threw me off for a min. I asked her what did you do wrong. She doesn't say, just repeats that she's just sorry for anything she might have done wrong and wants us to be cool.

It's a head scratcher because I'm wondering where all this is coming from. "Do you feel like I'm upset at you?"

"I don't knowww. Are you?"

I'm not the butthurt type so I genuinely dk where all this is coming from. But I can see the earnestness in her face and how she's going out of her way to build bridges so I assure her I'm not upset or angry

"Are you sure?"

She's scanning my face doubtfully and deeply.

The party is picking up and I'm not a fan of such conversations and heart to hearts like we're a couple, so I break it off after telling her we're genuinely cool.

I indeed meant it. But was feeling up in spirit and didn't want to get too stuck in such convos.

I go back to the party. I'd had a long ass day at work and now I just wanted to medicate with loud music, booze and chatting with friends.

It's all fucking fantastic.
The sound system is perfect.

I interact with lots of people - mindless chatter and laughs, no agenda.

She pops by a couple of times asking me for advice on what drink she should take and other small talk things I can't really remeber.

But at that point I have all these people clamoiring for my attention, shouting my name from across the room and in all that chaos I can't really focus on her for more than 2 min.

The night gets darker, the music louder, the shouting louder then she comes to where I'm at and tells me she wants to talk

I agree and say go ahead I'll come find you. But I get distracted and 15 min go by as we're yapping with friends.

She comes back for me, frustrated look on her face. "Cooooommeeeeee"

I go.

She starts her speech again body facing me. I like you and I like the chemistry we had that day. You really get my humour and my jokes. I talked to all these people but I had the best time with you and I don't want that to change

She yaps for a full five min or so and I tell her we're cool.

Although I'm still confused where all this is coming from.

She says she wants us to still be friends yada yada And my brain freezes on that line like "Hoooooold up! You want us to be what?! Am I getting friendzoned??"

It's funny cause the liquor is starting to do its thing and I'm genuinely not very focused on pickup rn. I'm just here for a good time

So I tell her "I'd love to be friends with you it's just that I'm a man and that parf of me will get in the way"

She gets the message and says "It's okay. I want to be frinds or whatever else comes after. I'm fine with that too"

Good girl. At this point I'm on my feet itching to go back to the party and howl like a wolf instead of these Oprah Winfrey type heart to hearts

I hug her, look her in the eye and caress her arms to assure her we're cool.

During our convo she had let it slip that she thougjt I was upset at her because I didn't text her back after she gave me her no haha

I assure her once more and dip. The party is raging, girls grinding on girls, flawless music choice, liquor is flowing

My happy place.

Today I'm on 10 - a rockstar and man of the people. Dancing with girls, arguing over what song to play next with the boys, talking deep stuff with other girls. I feel good

And that's when she pops up on my shoulder "Can we go somewhere quieter to continue our conversation"

Aha! An IOI. I'm on autopilot atp so I grab her hand and we walk. I take her into a room and we make out.

She smells really nice. And she kisses well. And her neck is soft and her moans girly

We chat for a few min and I dip after. The party is calling me. It needs me

I walk in and in seconds I'm grinding on a girl. This one likes me too

Her ass is rubbing on me and she slyly looks back at me and says "Are you always hard?" I lean in and say "Only when I'm with you"

She smiles. We keep dancing

Fast forward through a million other patchy, chaotic moments and the first girl shows up again behind me. She wants us to "talk" some more.

So I go.

And as we walk and talk she professes how she's been watching me all day and how she wanted to talk to me earlier but was nervous about how I'd react and that I'm really hot and that seeing me dancing with all these girls made her feel really jealous and that I'm really hot again and that she enjoys talking to me

She lays that butter on thick. Really thick that my alarm bells start ringing. This is easily love bombing.

That or social proof/preselection and non needyness is a fucking nuke

We go into a dark room and make out. She's hungry so I tease her
For my own amusement

Lean in then lean out.
Lean in and tell her dont come to me I'll come to you

She's hungry so she can't hold still. So we start all over "Nooope. I said hold still. I'll come to you"

"Omgggg you're such a teaseeeee"

Dude I'm on 10. I do whatever I want, however I want.

We make out then leave for the party where I belong and where my other concubines are.

She tells me she wants us to be doing this on a regular.

To cut this lengthy story short - we all went our separate ways at 4am

She hinted about wanting to go to my place but it wasn't really feeling like doing all that.

But we madeout and she gave me a handjob in one of the rooms. I'll probably see her again

She also said she'd like to eat my ass - completely unprompted.

I also spotted her speaking to other dudes in the party incl guy from last time - which was odd cause she was more fixated on me this time than him at a time when I genuinely could care less if she was into me or not.

I was just there for a fun time and to let off some steam after a long day.

Some kind of lesson in there.

 

[Mr Mistah]

Update:

Yeah nah.

This girl is a bop running very remedial girl game.

Love bombing and stroking my ego while spinning multiple plates but telling me I'm her no 1 option

She lays that butter on thick. Really thick that my alarm bells start ringing. This is easily love bombing.

My instinct was right

It's a shame because she has a great personality and is sexual.

Oddly enough she told me she's only been with one guy before lol

I called BS and asked her to swear that she isn't lying or leaving out guys because "they don't count".

She swore.

I told her I don't like sharing - I'm a selfish guy. But I don't want to control her or cramp her style - she's free to do her.

She got upset. Asked me what I want. - "if I stop talking to other guys will you also stop talking to other girls"

No sireee. I'm a man

And she fucking loses it "Omggg What does that even meaann The double standards!!"

Wasn't really feeling like a feminist/girl pwr debate - so I kissed her and affirmed my stance : I don't share.

She went home but not without pulling one last hail mary basically hinting if we could go home together.

I declined.

On to the next I guess

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Update:

Yeah nah.

This girl is a bop running very remedial girl game.

Love bombing and stroking my ego while spinning multiple plates but telling me I'm her no 1 option

My instinct was right

It's a shame because she has a great personality and is sexual.

Oddly enough she told me she's only been with one guy before lol

I called BS and asked her to swear that she isn't lying or leaving out guys because "they don't count".

She swore.

I told her I don't like sharing - I'm a selfish guy. But I don't want to control her or cramp her style - she's free to do her.

She got upset. Asked me what I want. - "if I stop talking to other guys will you also stop talking to other girls"

No sireee. I'm a man

And she fucking loses it "Omggg What does that even meaann The double standards!!"

Wasn't really feeling like a feminist/girl pwr debate - so I kissed her and affirmed my stance : I don't share.

She went home but not without pulling one last hail mary basically hinting if we could go home together.

I declined.

On to the next I guess

Jesus dude.
have you even fucked this chick yet??
Why are you getting into that kinda convo for.. pre sex .. or even early days of hooking up.

she’s under no obligation to lock it down or fess up she’s not a virgin just cos you’re interested . You’re not even in a relationship yet… or hooking up afaik.


Maybe I’m behind but… fucking hell.
Chill the beans.

 

[Mr Mistah]

she’s under no obligation to lock it down or fess up she’s not a virgin just cos you’re interested

Isn't that what I'm saying.

She's not obligated to do anything.
And I told her as much

You do you.

But I'm simply not attracted to chicks who are getting hot and heavy with 3 dudes within a 1 hour window while gassing me up as #1

That's all it is really. No biggie

PS: She asked me to take her home on 3 separate ocassions. We made out but I politely declined/sidestepped

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

So

Isn't that what I'm saying.

She's not obligated to do anything.
And I told her as much

You do you.

But I'm simply not attracted to chicks who are getting hot and heavy with 3 dudes within a 1 hour window while gassing me up as #1

That's all it is really. No biggie

PS: She asked me to take her home on 3 separate ocassions. We made out but I politely declined/sidestepped

So you have just exited the competition and let some other dude have an easier crack at banging her,

her gassing you up as #1 is called ‘flirting’ bro. Maybe you were her #1 choice out of her options. How the f do you know? You only have her word to go on.

maybe the truth iis written in her diary but you’ll never read fhat.

So well done on taking the double barrelled shotgun, pointing it down and blowing your own foot clean off.

Wise up for next time.

Human mating is a competition…there’s always other guys circling that a decent looking chick may be entertaining. That’s a pretty dumb play you did.

as long as you won’t be envious when you see her with one of those other guys in the near future.

When it could have been you…

 

[Mr Mistah]

So you have just exited the competition and let some other dude have an easier crack at banging her,

The lay means nothing to me if I don't like you bro.

I don't think you're getting that part.

The lay seems to be your #1 priority
It isn't for me.

And I couldn't be bothered what the competition is doing

If they want to ride the town bicycle - good for them

I'll wait for a cab. Less crowded

 

[Skills]

First night you declined the kiss, and you didn't do anything sexual after multiple windows... No man to women..


Second night you don't bang and after...

Your game is total shit that is an easy la
And easy lay and you keep doing autistic shit... Like why do you get into that sharing convo. And why you declined wasting opportunities...i would have fucked her the first night...

 

[Mr Mistah]

First night you declined the kiss, and you didn't do anything sexual after multiple windows... No man to women..

This is true.

I did miss that signal.
And I did forget to go proper man to woman

But you're not listening to a single thing I've said about 2nd and 3rd time.

I flipped the script.

SHE was into ME.
SHE was chasing ME.
She was asking me to go home with her.
She was being touchy with me
She asked if she can eat my ass
She said I'm sexiest guy she knows

But she was also running the same shtick with three other guys in venue in an especially obvious, thirsty unfeminine way that other girls in the crib started making hush disapproving remarks.

I don't like that.
I am not attracted to that.

So I said meh. Not interested

And since we will be in the same social space, I thought I'd just explain to her gently rather than going cold and aloof on her

We even kissed goodbye.
She was unhappy, but no bad blood (at least on my end)

What's so crazy about this?

Do you not screen girls - or are your screens just techniques to get to the lay?

I also have this unpopular opinion that seduction community needs to chill with the Always Be Closing thing.

Treating vagina like an Egyptian tomb - once you miss escalation window and it closes, its sealed forever and ever.

My friend turns down girls and they're still there pinning for him. Saying wild things like how they've masturbated to him and want him.

And this is MONTHS of being turned down.

I understand the function of ABC but ffs it's not a universal law like gravity and laws of physics.

Relax

 

[OldGuy]

Those other guys were attempts to make you jealous (I know, stupid on her part). I have had a woman do this is claim to love me when I tried to break up with her (30 some years later, I discovered she was in love with me).
As far as your friend, I have had several women I did f and kept on showing interest. I later realized I could have married them! Two even invited me to their weddings (to other men).

 

[Skills]

This is true.

I did miss that signal.
And I did forget to go proper man to woman

But you're not listening to a single thing I've said about 2nd and 3rd time.

I flipped the script.

SHE was into ME.
SHE was chasing ME.
She was asking me to go home with her.
She was being touchy with me
She asked if she can eat my ass
She said I'm sexiest guy she knows

But she was also running the same shtick with three other guys in venue in an especially obvious, thirsty unfeminine way that other girls in the crib started making hush disapproving remarks.

I don't like that.
I am not attracted to that.

So I said meh. Not interested

And since we will be in the same social space, I thought I'd just explain to her gently rather than going cold and aloof on her

We even kissed goodbye.
She was unhappy, but no bad blood (at least on my end)

What's so crazy about this?

Do you not screen girls - or are your screens just techniques to get to the lay?

I also have this unpopular opinion that seduction community needs to chill with the Always Be Closing thing.

Treating vagina like an Egyptian tomb - once you miss escalation window and it closes, its sealed forever and ever.

My friend turns down girls and they're still there pinning for him. Saying wild things like how they've masturbated to him and want him.

And this is MONTHS of being turned down.

I understand the function of ABC but ffs it's not a universal law like gravity and laws of physics.

Relax

I thought you wanted to fuck her and you made a post questioning why you didn't fuck her..

I pass on lays all the time... So if you didn't want to fuck her, is fine... I don't like to fick girls in my social circle...

As the previous reply if you wanted to fuck her the other guys don't matter...

If she was chasing and the rest doesn't matter if you actually wanted to fuck her cause you didn't..

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

This is true.

I did miss that signal.
And I did forget to go proper man to woman

But you're not listening to a single thing I've said about 2nd and 3rd time.

I flipped the script.

SHE was into ME.
SHE was chasing ME.
She was asking me to go home with her.
She was being touchy with me
She asked if she can eat my ass
She said I'm sexiest guy she knows

Great. So you did all that ‘work’ of ‘flipping he script ‘for what exactly? And btw you didn’t do much of any ‘work’ - she made it plain as day she was big into you. There was no script to be flipped . As she was into you off the bat. You just didn’t read signals properly the first time. You just eventually got on the same page she was on.

“And as we walk and talk she professes how she's been watching me all day and how she wanted to talk to me earlier but was nervous about how I'd react and that I'm really hot and that seeing me dancing with all these girls made her feel really jealous and that I'm really hot again and that she enjoys talking to me

Hello?
She lays that butter on thick. Really thick that my alarm bells start ringing. This is easily love bombing.**

Big LOL. - love bombing or just a chick who knows how to flirt , flirting hard with YOU.

That or social proof/preselection and non needyness is a fucking nuke”

Social proof and being cool laid back is the way to go for sure. That’s a given. But kinda irrelevant now with the rest of what’s going on. She was into you from the get go.

But she was also running the same shtick with three other guys in venue in an especially obvious, thirsty unfeminine way that other girls in the crib started making hush disapproving remarks.

I don't like that.
I am not attracted to that.

So I said meh. Not interested

And since we will be in the same social space, I thought I'd just explain to her gently rather than going cold and aloof on her

We even kissed goodbye.
She was unhappy, but no bad blood (at least on my end)

What's so crazy about this?

Do you not screen girls - or are your screens just techniques to get to the lay?

I don’t bother to screen girls that are giving me massive GREEN LIGHTS. Why would I bother

I also have this unpopular opinion that seduction community needs to chill with the Always Be Closing thing.

Treating vagina like an Egyptian tomb - once you miss escalation window and it closes, its sealed forever and ever.

My friend turns down girls and they're still there pinning for him. Saying wild things like how they've masturbated to him and want him.

And this is MONTHS of being turned down.

I understand the function of ABC but ffs it's not a universal law like gravity and laws of physics.

Relax

So why did you post up this thread in the first place ?
dude , she told you you’re number #1 player and gave you the lay up with the ball for the slam dunk ,

your droppe the ball and walked out of the game off the court .. because you saw her pass the ball to a few other guys.

it really does not get any easier than this to get laid. It’s like ‘the perfect situation.’

like, why the fuck would you question why she is telling you you’re #1 …

No words really after this.
“Paranoia Will Destroy ya “ seems to be the only advice left.