I Just Had Sex With A Fat Girl (feeling extremely depressed)

[Kvothe]

And?

What happened? Why did it not work? Were they in person sessions in the field?

 

[SexNotValidation]

And?

they where unable to help me solve my AA.

is that not obvious since im still posting here about being unable to approach?

 

[Kvothe]

What exercises did they have you do? We’re they in person? What did the coaches do after each session?

Please give me more details than the obvious, I know you’re still having trouble with AA, so I’m trying to diagnose how to help.

 

[Razorjack]

is this a serious question?

.......

if knowing that logically there is nothing to worry about was the key to solving my problem then i would not even be on this forum?

Nope, nothing gets solved "logically" when we are emotional creatures. This is the first step....

Once the fears get logically put into perspective. The next step is to change your mental focus......

Could you answer my other post about what action you think you can take (eye contact / smile from a distance or say hello and walk past without stopping?)

 

[SexNotValidation]

Could you answer my other post about what action you think you can take (eye contact / smile from a distance or say hello and walk past without stopping?)

which post are you talking about?

I just checked all the posts you have made in this thread and did not find a post mentioning the above.

But i will try to answer your question now based on this post.

Which of the above action can i take?

This is where my situation i feel is very weird and unusual.

I have issues even looking at girls in the club.

I know it sounds weird but i experience anxiety/resistance whenever i go to even look at a girl in the club.

Even when girls hover near me or invade my personal space to get my attention i will usually just ignore them and i feel anxiety/resistance when i try to look even at these girls.

its very weird.

Could i say hello as i walk through the club without stopping?

I have never tried that or even thought about that and usually when i walk through the club i do NOT look at any girls or make eye contact at all.

 

[SexNotValidation]

What exercises did they have you do? We’re they in person? What did the coaches do after each session?

Please give me more details than the obvious, I know you’re still having trouble with AA, so I’m trying to diagnose how to help.

I'm assuming you are talking about the coaching i got from this forum?

if yes...

one guy had me try this pregame routine of push ups, sits ups, green tea and meditation. when it failed he advised me to do daygame.

one guy who is very popular on this forum launched into a rant about how AA was caused by the liver and was very difficult to solve as it had many factors and then basically advised me to do daygame or watch videos on youtube of male models to find poses i could use to draw more girls to me and get more girls in the club to open me.

one guy told me to go out and look at girls and imagine having sex with them because if you train yourself to get horny when you first see girls it will overpower anxiety.

all this coaching was on skype/online.

 

[Razorjack]

Post #17 in this thread, here is the link:

I Just Had Sex With A Fat Girl (feeling extremely depressed)

I had sex for the first time in almost 4 months tonight. This girl approached me in the club, asked me to dance then came home with me. She was pretty much fat. Not obese or anything but had those fat rolls on her hips. I could not really tell she was clearly fat until we got to my place and...

www.skilledseducer.com

My point here is that pickup game can be designed to utilize your strengths and make up for weaknesses. But to succeed your mental focus needs to be on taking actions (otherwise fear takes over and guys mentally freeze, getting stuck in fear)

So what actions do you think you can take in a night club and not get mentally paralyzed? Could you talk to an attractive girl if she approached you? What about outside of a club environment for example at a company office in a work situation?

By the way, what exactly is your goal with wanting to learn pick up and seduction?

 

[Kvothe]

Find an in person coach. They’ll help you in the moment and can help motivate you to actually approach. I also think this would be best to do for day game.

I like @Razorjack’s advice. Behavior changes work best in small increments. Why don’t you start with just trying to keep your head up at a club? Once you can do that consistently, actually look people in the eye for a second, then look to the side. If you can’t do this with women, do it with men until you’re comfortable.

I will say the fact that you got laid while being unable to keep your head up is impressive in and of itself.

I stand by in person coaching being best for you.

 

[SexNotValidation]

Post #17 in this thread, here is the link:

I Just Had Sex With A Fat Girl (feeling extremely depressed)

I had sex for the first time in almost 4 months tonight. This girl approached me in the club, asked me to dance then came home with me. She was pretty much fat. Not obese or anything but had those fat rolls on her hips. I could not really tell she was clearly fat until we got to my place and...

www.skilledseducer.com

My point here is that pickup game can be designed to utilize your strengths and make up for weaknesses. But to succeed your mental focus needs to be on taking actions (otherwise fear takes over and guys mentally freeze, getting stuck in fear)

So what actions do you think you can take in a night club and not get mentally paralyzed?

By the way, what exactly is your goal with wanting to learn pick up and seduction?

what actions can i take in the club?

honestly i do not know.

My only real strength is above average looks since i get approached and get AIs.

besides that im not really sure what other strength i have in the club.

I'm being 100% honest here and not saying this out of laziness.

Tomorrow night i can try what you said of saying hi as i walk by and let you know how it goes but not sure i will be able to do it.

What is my goal?

goal #1 = orgasm during sex

goal #2 = have fun sexual adventures while im still young enough to do it. for example, back in July this girl approached me at the club exit and 90 sec later we where fucking in an alley near the club. that was one of the funnest most memorable experiences of my life. i would like to have many more such sexual adventures and with girls im genuinely attracted to unlike this girl from July. Im also pretty sure i have a fetish for doing sexual things in public which is part of this. for example, the best part of this girl tonight was when we where dancing super sexual on the dancefloor in front of everyone.

 

[SexNotValidation]

Find an in person coach. They’ll help you in the moment and can help motivate you to actually approach. I also think this would be best to do for day game.

I like @Razorjack’s advice. Behavior changes work best in small increments. Why don’t you start with just trying to keep your head up at a club? Once you can do that consistently, actually look people in the eye for a second, then look to the side. If you can’t do this with women, do it with men until you’re comfortable.

I will say the fact that you got laid while being unable to keep your head up is impressive in and of itself.

I stand by in person coaching being best for you.

I have no interest in daygame.

I tried it recently and i know i could get laid doing it based on how the girls i did speak to in daygame reacted

but i want to experience the type of sexual adventures only possible at night while im still young.

sexual adventures = sex in the club, sex in the washroom, dancing super sexual, fingering girls in public, this is the type of stuff im after

also, you seem to misunderstand.

I of course could never get laid at all if i could not look people in the eyes.

thats not what im saying.

for example, this girl and other girls who approach me i of course look them in the eyes.

i have no issues with that.

My issue when i say i cannot even look at girls in the club is different and very weird.

honestly, im not sure how to explain it or what is happening.

All i can tell you is this:

if a girl approaches me in the club or im talking to a girl during the day in my life; i have no anxiety at all and i can look her in the eyes no problem.

but when i see a random girl in the club, i feel anxiety/resistance when i go to even look at her in general. not when i go to make eye contact specifically, looking at her at all i feel resistance/anxiety.

so what i do is when im standing in the club or walking around i will just look straight ahead instead of looking at anyone.

 

[Kvothe]

I would still suggest in person night time coaching then. I would also add your issue in this post was not finding girls you got with attractive, which day game is a great cure for. But that doesn’t seem to be the real root cause of the issue.

Since making big changes on your own can be hard, start with smaller behavioral steps, and build up. Coaching can be good for taking big steps, but some people find it harder to go through those big changes on their own, so smaller changes can be the other option.

 

[Razorjack]

what actions can i take in the club?

honestly i do not know.

My only real strength is above average looks since i get approached and get AIs.

besides that im not really sure what other strength i have in the club.

I'm being 100% honest here and not saying this out of laziness.

Tomorrow night i can try what you said of saying hi as i walk by and let you know how it goes but not sure i will be able to do it.

What is my goal?

goal #1 = orgasm during sex

goal #2 = have fun sexual adventures while im still young enough to do it. for example, back in July this girl approached me at the club exit and 90 sec later we where fucking in an alley near the club. that was one of the funnest most memorable experiences of my life. i would like to have many more such sexual adventures and with girls im genuinely attracted to unlike this girl from July. Im also pretty sure i have a fetish for doing sexual things in public which is part of this. for example, the best part of this girl tonight was when we where dancing super sexual on the dancefloor in front of everyone.

Ok, let me try to be clear here. Most guys never improve because they get stuck into one dimensional thinking and banging their heads into the same wall until they give up.

There is nothing that says you HAVE to approach at a night club. There are literally so many ways to pick up and game that you need to find what works for you NOT follow what other have done (they don't have your issues or life experience)

For example, if you like having sexual adventures AT night clubs then yes keep going. OTOH if you want sexual adventures but it doesn't have to be at a nightclub then there are other ways.

What we would need to do is dig into WHO you are, how to leverage your strengths and get around (NOT overcome) your issues.

For example, I would see no point in having you bang your head into the same wall (overcoming AA by trying to approach in a nightclub) when there are ways to get around them in a much faster and more natural ways.

So you can pick up women if they approach you? Correct?

Can you only pick up women that you're not attracted to? What if an attractive girl approached you, could you pick her up?

 

[Razorjack]

Let me expand on my previous post.

"So you can pick up women if they approach you? Correct?

Can you only pick up women that you're not attracted to? What if an attractive girl approached you, could you pick her up?"

If the answer to all the above questions are yes, then forget trying to approach girls, I would work on having them approach you instead (leverage your strength). Then experiment on making your own routines to amp up the bad boy persona.

For example, I read that you inadvertently were doing the "Asshole Rockstar", so you have girls approach you. Once a girl approaches you and you start interacting with her. Then you decide whether you find her attractive or not. If yes, then game with sexual routines for same night adventures. If you're not attracted to her, then use her to get other girls you do find attractive in the night club.

Hope you understand my thinking, the specific routines aren't as important as the understanding the principle.

The principle is don't try to overcome your weaknesses (issues such AA, fear of rejection etc) instead leverage your strengths (good looks) and find ways to get around the weaknesses.

One way could be to stop banging your head into the same wall thinking that you MUST approach, instead amp up the "asshole rockstar" personal so that you have more girls approaching you and then run seduction game on her from there or game her to help you get other more attractive girls in the night club.

 

[SexNotValidation]

There is nothing that says you HAVE to approach at a night club.

well i need to approach or find a way to get more/hotter girls to approach me.

those are the only 2 options.

or you know of a 3rd option i have not considered?

There are literally so many ways to pick up and game that you need to find what works for you NOT follow what other have done (they don't have your issues or life experience)

In order to find what style of game works best for my goals i need to be approaching.

obviously once someone can approach they need to then experiment to find the style of game that works best for them.

i cannot approach yet so that is my focus.

do you disagree with this?

For example, if you like having sexual adventures AT night clubs then yes keep going. OTOH if you want sexual adventures but it doesn't have to be at a nightclub then there are other ways.

huh?

can you be specific and list the other ways to experience the type of sexual adventures i mentioned outside of nightime?

keep in mind that the key part is doing sexual stuff in public and being seen.

for example, the best part of tonight is when we where dancing on the dancefloor i pulled her hair to push her head back then choked her with other hand while kissing her from behind. right in the middle of a packed dancefloor. those are the type of things i like. public sexual stuff.

where else am i going to get these experiences outside of nightclubs?

What we would need to do is dig into WHO you are, how to leverage your strengths and get around (NOT overcome) your issues.

honestly, as i said I'm not sure what strengths i have in the club besides looks.

For example, I would see no point in having you bang your head into the same wall (overcoming AA by trying to approach in a nightclub) when there are ways to get around them in a much faster and more natural ways.

can you please explain these faster more natural ways?

So you can pick up women if they approach you? Correct?

no not really but its complicated.

first, you should know that i get approached directly probably once every 2-4 nights i go out.

and i go out twice a week right now.

What if an attractive girl approached you, could you pick her up?

this is a good question because i have been approached by girls i was attracted to and have never fucked any.

also, its interesting because i was actually approached by a really hot girl tonight before the fat girl.

to answer your question, i dont know why i have never fucked any of the hot girls that have approached me.

 

[SexNotValidation]

Let me expand on my previous post.

"So you can pick up women if they approach you? Correct?

Can you only pick up women that you're not attracted to? What if an attractive girl approached you, could you pick her up?"

If the answer to all the above questions are yes, then forget trying to approach girls, I would work on having them approach you instead (leverage your strength). Then experiment on making your own routines to amp up the bad boy persona.

For example, I read that you inadvertently were doing the "Asshole Rockstar", so you have girls approach you. Once a girl approaches you and you start interacting with her. Then you decide whether you find her attractive or not. If yes, then game with sexual routines for same night adventures. If you're not attracted to her, then use her to get other girls you do find attractive in the night club.

Hope you understand my thinking, the specific routines aren't as important as the understanding the principle.

The principle is don't try to overcome your weaknesses (issues such AA, fear of rejection etc) instead leverage your strengths (good looks) and find ways to get around the weaknesses.

One way could be to stop banging your head into the same wall thinking that you MUST approach, instead amp up the "asshole rockstar" personal so that you have more girls approaching you and then run seduction game on her from there or game her to help you get other more attractive girls in the night club.

You should know that i spent months probably even over a year trying to explore this angle where i operate with just girls approaching me.

thats how i found you since someone said i was doing ass hole rockstar method.

during this period i got really good at drawing really hot girls to me.

Like i could regularly just stand somewhere with the right vibe and the the hottest girls in the club would invade my personal space.

But even though they would come and stand literally in my face, i was never able to get these girls opening me first.

so thats why i gave up on this angle.

i found ways to get more/hotter girls to come near me but actually opening their mouth and talking to me first i have never found a way to increase that from the 1 girl opening me for every 2-4 nights i go out that i get right now.

 

[SexNotValidation]

I would still suggest in person night time coaching then.

are you talking about one those bootcamps?

I would also add your issue in this post was not finding girls you got with attractive, which day game is a great cure for. But that doesn’t seem to be the real root cause of the issue.

let me make it very clear.

I have never orgasm during sex and i want to achieve this of course.

but if that was my only goal then i could do daygame or tinder.

so yes i would say my #1 goal is to have sexual adventures with girls im genuinely attracted to.

that is my primary aim.

Since making big changes on your own can be hard, start with smaller behavioral steps, and build up. Coaching can be good for taking big steps, but some people find it harder to go through those big changes on their own, so smaller changes can be the other option.

i do not know what any of this means.

 

[Razorjack]

You should know that i spent years maybe even months probably even over a year trying to explore this angle where i operate with just girls approaching me.

thats how i found you since someone said i was doing ass hole rockstar method.

during this period i got really good at drawing really hot girls to me.

Like i could regularly just stand somewhere with the right vibe and the the hottest girls in the club would invade my personal space.

But even though they would come and stand literally in my face, i was never able to get these girls opening me first.

so thats why i gave up on this angle.

i found ways to get more/hotter girls to come near me but actually opening their mouth and talking to me first i have never found a way to increase that from the 1 girl opening me for every 2-4 nights i go out that i get right now.

YES, FINALLY I GOT SOMETHING I CAN WORK WITH!

Ok, now we can take things forward. (By the way, forget the bootcamps, you don't need them, you're already ahead of most guys.)

You now know your strengths, you can have hot girls approach you! You don't need to go to them. You know how many guys would kill to be able to do this??????

Can you be the first to say "hi" or smile at her with eye contact after you draw them in?

Hope you realize that it takes a LOT of courage for girls to approach you like this, you should think about how you can help them by doing some of the work, like saying "hi" when she's already BLATANTLY shown you that she is interested.

Otherwise we would need to figure out how to get the hot girls to be the first to open their mouths after you draw them in. Have you thought about getting a t-shirt made with some big text like "Speak up, I can't hear you!" and wearing it to the night club?

 

[SexNotValidation]

Can you be the first to say "hi" or smile at her with eye contact after you draw them in?

Hope you realize that it takes a LOT of courage for girls to approach you like this, you should think about how you can help them by doing some of the work, like saying "hi" when she's already BLATANTLY shown you that she is interested.

well there's a few things you should know.

first, the vibe i use to draw girls in is extremelly arrogant and aloof.

it's a vibe that says " i cannot believe i have to be in this club right now with all you losers"

It's a vibe like im almost angry to be there.

that is the vibe that works for me to draw the most and hottest girls to me.

I tell you this because a smile does not really match this vibe.

secondly, the weirdest thing about the girls i draw in is they will come and stand or dance directly near me in my personal space but they NEVER make eye contact.

I ran experiements where i would go out with the plan that i would activate the vibe, draw them in and then look at them and if they make eye contact i approach but they never did. they would stand in my personal space but never look at me.

This is part of why i have struggled to open even the girls i draw in.

the 2nd and probably bigger reason i struggle to open girls i draw in is i usually draw in groups of girls not one girl at a time.

i will stand somewhere and then a group of 3 girls will come and start dancing directly in front of me within arms reach and then i have issues doing in because #1 they are dancing and its a group not 1 girl.

Otherwise we would need to figure out how to get the hot girls to be the first to open their mouths after you draw them in. Have you thought about getting a t-shirt made with some big text like "Speak up, I can't hear you!" and wearing it to the night club?

I have thought about doing something like this but never tested it.

Would girls even notice the writing in a dark, packed club?

 

[Razorjack]

huh?

can you be specific and list the other ways to experience the type of sexual adventures i mentioned outside of nightime?

keep in mind that the key part is doing sexual stuff in public and being seen.

for example, the best part of tonight is when we where dancing on the dancefloor i pulled her hair to push her head back then choked her with other hand while kissing her from behind. right in the middle of a packed dancefloor. those are the type of things i like. public sexual stuff.

where else am i going to get these experiences outside of nightclubs?

I know a guy who would with get together with a ton of girls through online dating sites. He would do crazy stuff like sex outdoors in public and stuff. Another option, could be to meet them online then you arrange to meet several of them at the nightclub and have them compete for you or have threesomes, 4somes etc.

This is just me thinking out loud and things that I would start to experiment with. Could probably think of another 100 ways, if I were to put my mind into it.

I remembered reading about an old time seducer (yes more old time than me, LOL! ) named Svengali. He was older but did basically daytime game and had several women in multiple relationships. He was into things like outdoor sex and multiple partners. He had his MLTR theory that I found fascinating.

Basically he would have a hierarchy of women and the more things she had in common with him, like sexual adventures, sport activities, etc. the higher her "ranking" and the amount of time he would spend with her. He would be constantly day gaming new woman while living his normal life and would change women in & out of rotation based on how things developed. The women knew he was "seeing others" and he would let them go if they wanted a serious relationship and bring in new women.

So it all depends on what and HOW you want to do things.

 

[SexNotValidation]

I know a guy who would with get together with a ton of girls through online dating sites. He would do crazy stuff like sex outdoors in public and stuff. Another option, could be to meet them online then you arrange to meet several of them at the nightclub and have them compete for you or have threesomes, 4somes etc.

This is just me thinking out loud and things that I would start to experiment with. Could probably think of another 100 ways, if I were to put my mind into it.

I remembered reading about an old time seducer (yes more old time than me, LOL! ) named Svengali. He was older but did basically daytime game and had several women in multiple relationships. He was into things like outdoor sex and multiple partners. He had his MLTR theory that I found fascinating.

Basically he would have a hierarchy of women and the more things she had in common with him, like sexual adventures, sport activities, etc. the higher her "ranking" and the amount of time he would spend with her. He would be constantly day gaming new woman while living his normal life and would change women in & out of rotation based on how things developed. The women knew he was "seeing others" and he would let them go if they wanted a serious relationship and bring in new women.

So it all depends on what and HOW you want to do things.

no man i assure you that the sexual experiences im looking for at this time in my life can only be found at night.

nothing you mentioned here would satisfy the specific craving i have.

for example, a massive part of my current desires is dancefloor stuff.

i want to do really sexual things like what i described earlier in the middle of the dancefloor with people watching me.

stuff like that is better/more pleasurable to me then even sex from tinder or daygame.

btw, thank you very much for spending time trying to help me.

Im going to go sleep now.

Its 12 PM here so im going to sleep now then wake up and get ready for Saturday night.

I will reply here again when i come back from Saturday.

Ill try what you said about saying hi and keeping it moving as i walk around the club tonight and will report here how it went.

thanks again for your time today.