i think we do sometimes talk past beginners. What should we do?

[trashKENNUT]

Hello People,

As good as a product is, marketing and sales (communication) is important. For some reason, i feel that the newer guys sometimes get bash before they even started.

Recently Chase noted, to find out where the weeds are, so we can find out where is the cause of the problem. I believe if we can find out the roots of their pain because we all been there or occasionally relapse there..... and slowly ladder the newer guys while also linking articles that suit their needs, that be great.

What you guys think? *cue holy music*

Zac

 

[Noir]

Hey, first time poster on the boards. As a beginner on the verge of making a breakthrough (more on that in another thread if any experienced guys wanna help), I noticed that a lot of new guys like myself have trouble with encouragement/motivation and adopting the right mindsets for seduction. I don't know if I can speak for all the new guys here, but it seems like at least some of us have a hard time staying confident and fundamentally solid in our game when we don't have a lot of experience to back us up.

And it seems like the only advice we get is to "just date more women" or "just BE confident" when this happens, and it's like, if we could do it that easily we wouldn't be going here for advice in the first place.

And then I think some of us beat ourselves up about not being able to do this as easily as the other guys around here, so it just gets very discouraging very fast in this non stop cycle of: try to go out and get results (date women, get laid, etc.) ---> fail at getting results ---> go to GC for advice ---> get told to go on more dates/numbers/meet more women and get more experience ---> build "false" confidence from threads and articles, and go do the same thing you we're doing before with spam-approaching or what have you without fixing the original issue ---> fail some more etc. Then rinse and repeat.

The only thing that I feel has helped improve my progress is by changing my mindset little by little (not easy to do), taking small breathers in between failures, and encouraging myself not to give up on the seemingly unlikely scenario that I'm about to make a breakthrough (again, not easy to do). And it wouldn't be so hard to do this stuff if we had some more experience to our names so we could get the ball rolling, but, at least for me, it's like every time we try to get results and we miss, it feels like taking a couple of steps back and getting our teeth knocked in and we get too discouraged to continue.

noimsayin?

So if more experienced guys would take the time to relate to us, like with Rocky-style stories or something to keep us motivated, and we modeled our mentalities exactly like their mentalities, then I think seduction would be much easier to pull off and would at least give the average working man a fighting chance in this ball breaking field. But that'll only happen when most of the experienced guys stop treating themselves like gods on this site, stop beating up on the newbs when mistakes are made, and take a more "I know its tough, but hang in there" approach to helping beginners rather than inflating their egos with elitist-esque posts that intimidate the beginners out of seduction.

EDIT: Just want to clarify that I am not blaming the admins for the lack of success beginners like myself have. I think they do a fantastic and wonderful job at pioneering the field of seduction. I am simply addressing the issue of experienced seducers failing to build up beginners and turning them into expert Cassanovas.

 

[BetaBoy]

Noir, if you detach from outcomes it should help with that plus looking locus of control.

 

[Noir]

Noir, if you detach from outcomes it should help with that plus looking locus of control.

Yes, I see your point and I get that. But how do you keep this up when your not getting results and not say "fuck, does this even work or am I wasting my valuable time?" It's just that staying outcome dependant is very hard to do when it's been awhile since you've gotten laid. I don't want to derail the thread here, but if you think you can help me out I made a post here:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=17803&p=88866#p88866

 

[BetaBoy]

Noir, if you detach from outcomes it should help with that plus looking locus of control.

Yes, I see your point and I get that. But how do you keep this up when your not getting results and not say "fuck, does this even work or am I wasting my valuable time?" It's just that staying outcome dependant is very hard to do when it's been awhile since you've gotten laid. I don't want to derail the thread here, but if you think you can help me out I made a post here:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=17803&p=88866#p88866

no I get it, as a man when needs are not met it’s deficult. I find hitting on breasturant waitresses and stripper to reduce that though in me personally.

 

[Big B]

Noir, if you detach from outcomes it should help with that plus looking locus of control.

Yes, I see your point and I get that. But how do you keep this up when your not getting results and not say "fuck, does this even work or am I wasting my valuable time?" It's just that staying outcome dependant is very hard to do when it's been awhile since you've gotten laid. I don't want to derail the thread here, but if you think you can help me out I made a post here:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=17803&p=88866#p88866

I think the reason guys have different styles of games is because they chose a way they felt comfortable and more importantly that they wouldn't be bothered to fail at.

Personally, if I hand out a direct compliment it has to be with someone whose mind impresses me. Otherwise the compliment always comes off lame because it's not something I'm really feeling. If a genuine compliment gets rejected I don't care I'm merely expressing admiration,I'm not trying to get anything from them (which I think people can feel which makes them inherently more appreciative anyways). The recipient's appreciation of that will not influence me at all from handing out a true compliment though.

Everyone has times where their personality gets a negative reaction but they do not change because they enjoy being that way.

So... Maybe what will help you is if you choose a frame and mindset where you simply enjoy being in that state regardless of what your short term results are.

 

[Noir]

Noir, if you detach from outcomes it should help with that plus looking locus of control.

Yes, I see your point and I get that. But how do you keep this up when your not getting results and not say "fuck, does this even work or am I wasting my valuable time?" It's just that staying outcome dependant is very hard to do when it's been awhile since you've gotten laid. I don't want to derail the thread here, but if you think you can help me out I made a post here:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=17803&p=88866#p88866

I think the reason guys have different styles of games is because they chose a way they felt comfortable and more importantly that they wouldn't be bothered to fail at.

Personally, if I hand out a direct compliment it has to be with someone whose mind impresses me. Otherwise the compliment always comes off lame because it's not something I'm really feeling. If a genuine compliment gets rejected I don't care I'm merely expressing admiration,I'm not trying to get anything from them (which I think people can feel which makes them inherently more appreciative anyways). The recipient's appreciation of that will not influence me at all from handing out a true compliment though.

Everyone has times where their personality gets a negative reaction but they do not change because they enjoy being that way.

So... Maybe what will help you is if you choose a frame and mindset where you simply enjoy being in that state regardless of what your short term results are.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. I actually dug up some articles I haven't read before on GC about doubt and inferiority, and since I personally have always had that "underdog" mentality of feeling like I need to prove something to the world, I think that's been hindering my progress. Hence, the outcome dependence, state issues, overthinking, etc.

I'm actually just going back over the little things (i.e. vibe, confidence boosting, etc.) and not worry about getting laid in the short term (unless there's an opportunity in any of my social circles to do so).

 

[trashKENNUT]

Noir,

I noticed that a lot of new guys like myself have trouble with encouragement/motivation and adopting the right mindsets for seduction.

Okay noted.

some of us have a hard time staying confident and fundamentally solid in our game when we don't have a lot of experience to back us up.

The first sentence and this sentence help sums up.

I think it is also good to have your confidence on not just women but other aspects of your life. Something like having "standards" for yourself and only for yourself but also recognizing that it is just a criteria that you trying to achieve and you can never really achieve perfect standard.

And then I think some of us beat ourselves up about not being able to do this as easily as the other guys around here, so it just gets very discouraging very fast in this non stop cycle of: try to go out and get results (date women, get laid, etc.) ---> fail at getting results ---> go to GC for advice ---> get told to go on more dates/numbers/meet more women and get more experience ---> build "false" confidence from threads and articles, and go do the same thing you we're doing before with spam-approaching or what have you without fixing the original issue ---> fail some more etc. Then rinse and repeat.

Here's a secret.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=13625&p=69375&hilit=illusion#p69375

noimsayin?

i do.

So if more experienced guys would take the time to relate to us, like with Rocky-style stories or something to keep us motivated, and we modeled our mentalities exactly like their mentalities, then I think seduction would be much easier to pull off and would at least give the average working man a fighting chance in this ball breaking field. But that'll only happen when most of the experienced guys stop treating themselves like gods on this site, stop beating up on the newbs when mistakes are made, and take a more "I know its tough, but hang in there" approach to helping beginners rather than inflating their egos with elitist-esque posts that intimidate the beginners out of seduction.

Okay. Most experienced guys avoid being too down the ladder to help the younger, or have not experience some success for a variety of reasons. And this applies to not just dating.

1)They don't know how to ladder (very hard to do for us, even me)
2)Humans tend to associate an authority figure
3)Humans perceive. To perceive somewhere near the level of where you do not like, means the experienced guys will bear the brunt of the 'bite the fingers that feed you'.


And everyone must bite the fingers that feed them someday, sooner or later. Even i bite Chase's hand. in a sense. lolx


I can relay this message to Chase and recently he has been ever better in relating to customers/people in the Girlsschase comment section. He is pretty blunt compared to other self help bullshit gurus.

So i hope that helps you in the mean time. but yea ask me some questions or post, and i try to take note of your posts. But try not to be hard on yourself, because everything takes time.

Not just in dating. but everything. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw7HSPsXWE

If you see easy answers, mostly it is advertising

Zac

 

[Lucifer]

I read that book 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle on a recent vacation (pretty sure someone on these forums recommended it). It really stresses the importance of enjoying yourself in every moment. I think beginners in Pua are often too focused on a future result they want ('I can't wait till I'm good with women'), or still haunted by their past failures with women, that they end up feeling like they're suffering the whole time.

The present is all you've got. You gotta enjoy it.

It's really important to think of approaching women, learning this stuff, and improving socially as a fun adventure! The journey itself, even though it seems like it sucks at times, is almost as fun as the end result.

 

[Noir]

Noir,

I noticed that a lot of new guys like myself have trouble with encouragement/motivation and adopting the right mindsets for seduction.

Okay noted.

some of us have a hard time staying confident and fundamentally solid in our game when we don't have a lot of experience to back us up.

The first sentence and this sentence help sums up.

I think it is also good to have your confidence on not just women but other aspects of your life. Something like having "standards" for yourself and only for yourself but also recognizing that it is just a criteria that you trying to achieve and you can never really achieve perfect standard.

And then I think some of us beat ourselves up about not being able to do this as easily as the other guys around here, so it just gets very discouraging very fast in this non stop cycle of: try to go out and get results (date women, get laid, etc.) ---> fail at getting results ---> go to GC for advice ---> get told to go on more dates/numbers/meet more women and get more experience ---> build "false" confidence from threads and articles, and go do the same thing you we're doing before with spam-approaching or what have you without fixing the original issue ---> fail some more etc. Then rinse and repeat.

Here's a secret.

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewto ... ion#p69375

noimsayin?

i do.

So if more experienced guys would take the time to relate to us, like with Rocky-style stories or something to keep us motivated, and we modeled our mentalities exactly like their mentalities, then I think seduction would be much easier to pull off and would at least give the average working man a fighting chance in this ball breaking field. But that'll only happen when most of the experienced guys stop treating themselves like gods on this site, stop beating up on the newbs when mistakes are made, and take a more "I know its tough, but hang in there" approach to helping beginners rather than inflating their egos with elitist-esque posts that intimidate the beginners out of seduction.

Okay. Most experienced guys avoid being too down the ladder to help the younger, or have not experience some success for a variety of reasons. And this applies to not just dating.

1)They don't know how to ladder (very hard to do for us, even me)
2)Humans tend to associate an authority figure
3)Humans perceive. To perceive somewhere near the level of where you do not like, means the experienced guys will bear the brunt of the 'bite the fingers that feed you'.


And everyone must bite the fingers that feed them someday, sooner or later. Even i bite Chase's hand. in a sense. lolx


I can relay this message to Chase and recently he has been ever better in relating to customers/people in the Girlsschase comment section. He is pretty blunt compared to other self help bullshit gurus.

So i hope that helps you in the mean time. but yea ask me some questions or post, and i try to take note of your posts. But try not to be hard on yourself, because everything takes time.

Not just in dating. but everything. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw7HSPsXWE

If you see easy answers, mostly it is advertising

Zac

Yeah dude, thanks for addressing these points. They were all 100% spot on and are helping me out quite a bit, especially when it comes to lowering my expectations for where I should be at in seduction.

I realize now it's probably not that easy or worthwhile for you experienced guys to climb down the ladder and help the inexperienced or less experienced guys out, so I appreciate that.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Noir,

Yeah dude, thanks for addressing these points. They were all 100% spot on and are helping me out quite a bit, especially when it comes to lowering my expectations for where I should be at in seduction.

Ultimately, you can also see this as something you gain power over me, or something where you recollect yourself, this is something i learn. Why?

1)I dislike the word, 'dude'.
2)The way the sentence is put.
3)Ending the conversation if i didn't reply.

Imagine if i didn't respond to this maybe and you have 'ended' the conversation.

Personal Power, only we ourselves can inspire ourselves. (Okay now you feeling awkward, shut up this guy, Too NAPOLEON *Zac runs!* )



Zac